Coming Back Online

Derek
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Mental Health

Honest talks on Weed, Clarity and coming back to yourself

  1. 6d ago

    You Don’t Have to Hit Rock Bottom to Quit Weed

    Maybe you’ve been smoking weed every day for years. Maybe you’ve told yourself you’re going to stop, only to find yourself smoking again a few hours later. And maybe you’re starting to realize that you don’t even enjoy it the way you used to. In this episode, we talk about why quitting can be so difficult when weed has become part of your routine, how boredom, stress, anxiety, and habit can keep you stuck, and why you don’t have to wait until your life falls apart to make a change. You don’t have to hate yourself, hit rock bottom, or have everything figured out. Sometimes you just have to admit that the life you’re living isn’t the life you want anymore and take the first step toward coming back online.  Support the show Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility. I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

  2. Aug 5

    From Rock Bottom to Purpose: Rebuilding My Life After 25 Years of Weed

    n this deeply personal episode, I share the story I’ve never fully told—from the lowest point of my life to the mission that’s now giving me purpose. I open up about my divorce, quitting weed after 25 years, depression, suicidal thoughts, turning 40 alone, and what it was really like rebuilding my life from the ground up. I talk about the unexpected challenges of early sobriety, why I believe community is essential for healing, and how those painful experiences inspired me to create Coming Back Online. I also share why I’ve started a free Zoom recovery community and why I’ve decided to offer one-on-one accountability based on my lived experience. If you’re struggling with anxiety, addiction, emotional numbness, or you’re trying to rediscover who you are after years of escaping, I hope this conversation reminds you that healing is possible, purpose can be found in pain, and you don’t have to go through it alone. In this deeply personal episode, I share the story I’ve never fully told—from the lowest point of my life to the mission that’s now giving me purpose. I open up about my divorce, quitting weed after 25 years, depression, suicidal thoughts, turning 40 alone, and what it was really like rebuilding my life from the ground up. I talk about the unexpected challenges of early sobriety, why I believe community is essential for healing, and how those painful experiences inspired me to create Coming Back Online. I also share why I’ve started a free Zoom recovery community and why I’ve decided to offer one-on-one accountability based on my lived experience. If you’re struggling with anxiety, addiction, emotional numbness, or you’re trying to rediscover who you are after years of escaping, I hope this conversation reminds you that healing is possible, purpose can be found in pain, and you don’t have to go through it alone. Support the show Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility. I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

  3. Jul 21

    The Grief Nobody Talks About When You Quit Weed

    Talking honestly about what happened when I finally quit smoking weed after 26 years. Nobody prepared me for the grief. Not just grieving the plant itself, but grieving the version of me that believed I needed it to get through life. I smoked because I was hurting, because I was escaping, because it became my comfort. Over time, that comfort turned into emotional, physical, and financial dependence. For years I believed I couldn’t live without weed. Today, I’m 9 months sober, and I can finally see that addiction was convincing me of something that wasn’t true. I also talk about how different weed is today—far more potent than what many of us grew up with—and why I believe long-term heavy use played a much bigger role in my anxiety, depression, and mental health than I ever wanted to admit. CHS and my divorce became the wake-up calls I never asked for, but they also became the catalyst that changed my life. Sometimes the hardest seasons force us to become the person we’ve been avoiding. Getting sober didn’t magically fix everything. When you close the door on addiction, you’re still left with a mess to clean up. The difference is you’ve finally stopped creating more of the mess. Now you can actually begin healing, one day at a time. If you’re trying to quit smoking weed or wondering if life gets better on the other side, I hope this conversation reminds you that you’re not alone. Be your own best friend through recovery. Healing takes time, but it is possible. #QuitWeed #QuittingWeed #WeedRecovery #Sobriety #CHS #MentalHealth #AddictionRecovery #ComingBackOnline #CannabisRecovery #SelfHealing #PersonalGrowth #RecoveryJourney Support the show Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility. I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

  4. Jul 9

    No Longer a Prisoner in my own Body

    For years, I thought I was trying to escape stress, anxiety, boredom, and pain. What I eventually realized was that I was trying to escape myself. In this episode of Coming Back Online, I talk about what happened after quitting weed, why recovery was never just about substances, and what it means to slowly rebuild trust in yourself after years of numbing, distracting, and disconnecting. We talk about identity, dopamine, emotional avoidance, midlife reinvention, and the surprising truth that freedom isn’t about escaping your life — it’s about no longer needing to escape yourself. If you’re struggling with dependence, emotional numbness, or feeling disconnected from who you are, I hope this conversation reminds you that coming back online is possible. — Coming Back Online is a podcast about sobriety, nervous system healing, emotional honesty, and reconnecting with yourself after years of surviving on autopilot. Follow along: Instagram: @comingbackonline Support the show Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility. I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

  5. Jun 27

    Control the Controllable-Everything else is Noise

    In this episode, we’re talking about one of the most powerful shifts you can make in your life — learning to focus on what you can actually control. We live in a world full of noise, unpredictability, and other people’s behavior, and most of it is completely out of our hands. But how you take care of your mind, your body, and your habits? That’s yours. I get personal in this one — talking about my journey quitting weed, going through a divorce, building Coming Back Online from scratch, and how some of the hardest, most painful chapters of my life ended up being the greatest catalysts for change. From CBT group therapy to tango dancing, I share what’s waiting for you on the other side of the struggle — if you’re willing to take the first step. No judgment here. Just honesty, real talk, and a reminder that we are all works in progress. 🎙️ Topics covered: •The law of impermanence and why control is an illusion — mostly •Recognizing what’s actually running your life •How to turn negative energy into fuel for growth •Addiction, all-or-nothing thinking, and self-awareness •Why quitting weed opened doors I never expected •The ripple effect of one person’s change on an entire community Support the show Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility. I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

  6. Jun 15

    What serves you, What doesn't, and how to know the difference

    In this episode, I’m responding directly to comments and messages from people going through all kinds of struggles—grief, divorce, depression, feeling stuck, feeling empty, and wondering what’s missing in their lives. We talk about the importance of listening to your body, paying attention to the signals your life is giving you, and being honest about what’s helping you and what’s holding you back. I also share my thoughts on weed and recovery. If cannabis still serves you, isn’t causing problems, and helps you get through difficult times, that’s your choice. But if you’re questioning your relationship with it, feeling stuck, disconnected, anxious, or simply wondering what life might look like without it, this conversation may resonate with you. This isn’t about judgment. It’s about curiosity, self-awareness, and learning to trust yourself enough to make changes when something no longer feels aligned. If you’ve been feeling like something needs to change but you can’t quite put your finger on what it is, this episode is for you. Support the show Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility. I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

  7. Jun 10

    Your Questions about Weed, Sobriety and Healing

    In this episode, I’m answering some questions and messages I’ve been getting on social media about sobriety, healing, and what actually helped me quit smoking weed after struggling with it for a long time. I talk about some of the things that helped me personally, but also why recovery isn’t the same for everybody. What works for one person might not work for someone else. A big part of the process is finding new things that help you grow, heal, and reconnect with yourself again. It’s not easy. Some days are harder than others. But if you stay strong and keep moving forward, little by little you start feeling more like yourself again. More emotionally grounded. More in control of your reactions, impulses, and cravings. More present in your own life. For me, sobriety has also brought a deeper sense of spiritual awareness and connection to a higher version of myself. This episode is just an honest conversation about the process of coming back online and learning how to live fully again. Support the show Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility. I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

  8. Jun 5

    Coming Back Online | My Story With Weed, Dependence & Trying to Find Myself Again

    This is the first video episode of Coming Back Online — a podcast about long-term weed use, dependence, sobriety, mental clarity, and trying to reconnect with yourself after years of feeling disconnected. In this episode, I open up about what originally got me started smoking weed, how it slowly became part of my identity and everyday life, and the complicated relationship I developed with it over the years. I talk about the comfort, escape, creativity, routines, and emotional coping tied into long-term use — but also the stagnation, disconnection, anxiety, and feeling that something inside me slowly started fading. This podcast isn’t about judgment, perfection, or pretending to have all the answers. It’s an honest exploration of addiction, habits, mental health, dopamine, identity, and what it means to navigate sobriety in a world where a lot of people quietly struggle with the same things. Also — this is my first video podcast, so bear with me while I figure out the lighting, editing, sound, camera setup, and everything that comes with building this from scratch. I wanted to start before everything was perfect because I know there are people out there who need honest conversations more than polished ones. If you’ve ever felt stuck, emotionally numb, dependent on something to get through life, or like you’ve slowly lost connection with yourself… you’re not alone. Welcome to Coming Back Online. Support the show Coming Back Online is about honesty, healing, and personal responsibility. I share my lived experience — not medical advice, not judgments, and not instructions for anyone else.

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5
out of 5
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About

Honest talks on Weed, Clarity and coming back to yourself

Information

  • Creator
    Derek
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    16
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Coming Back Online
  • Show Website
    Coming Back Online