NOT THE NARRATIVE with Abi

Abi
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Not the Narrative is a first-person podcast about living beyond the story told about you. Hosted by Abi, the show explores high-conflict family court proceedings and the lived experience of remaining grounded through scrutiny — while raising a child, sustaining a business, holding faith in imperfect systems, dating again after disruption, and practicing emotional regulation under pressure. This is not legal advice or commentary, but a record of integration and composure while everything is in motion.

  1. 5d ago

    Why Your Lawyer Is Not Your Therapist — And What Nobody Tells You About Family Court

    The Guide to Family Court | Not The Narrative with Abi Your lawyer is not your therapist, your psychologist, or your emotional punching bag. And confusing those roles could cost you thousands. When you're fighting to protect your children, struggling financially, and dealing with a high-conflict former spouse, it's easy to expect your lawyer to move mountains. But here's the uncomfortable truth: Your personal emergency isn't always a legal emergency. In this episode, I'm talking about the emotional and financial realities of family court, why lawyers don't always respond with the urgency we desperately need, and how to stop allowing frustration to become another expensive mistake. We're discussing billable hours, emotional boundaries, legal strategy, financial survival, and learning how to help your lawyer help you. And most importantly, we're talking about faith. Because what the enemy intended for evil, God can use for your good. — Genesis 50:20 Your lawyer may be fighting your legal battle, but YOU are responsible for building a life beyond that courtroom. 🎧 LISTEN. SUBSCRIBE. SHARE. If this episode resonates with you, follow Not The Narrative with Abi on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Amazon Music, and wherever you listen to podcasts. ⭐ Follow the podcast, leave a rating, and share this episode with someone navigating separation, divorce, or high-conflict co-parenting. 📲 LET'S CONNECT! Instagram: @notthenarrativewithabi TikTok: @notthenarrativewithabi 💌 Have a story to share or a topic you'd like me to discuss? Reach out through my social media. Your storm is not your story. #NotTheNarrativeWithAbi #GuideToFamilyCourt #FamilyCourt #DivorceRecovery #HighConflictCoparenting #FaithOverFear #WomenEmpowerment

  2. Oct 15

    Why Your Narcissistic Ex Won't Leave You Alone

    Why does your ex continue creating conflict long after the relationship has ended? And why does it sometimes get worse when you finally move on? Different relationships. Different people. Different circumstances. Yet the same accusations, manipulation, controlling behaviours, and relentless conflict. In Episode 26 of Not The Narrative with Abi, I share a powerful realization that came from comparing experiences with other women: sometimes, what feels like a personal battle is actually part of a much larger pattern of narcissistic and controlling behaviour. And when children and family court are involved, the consequences can be financially and emotionally devastating. Family court can become the devil's playground. A place where narratives are twisted, accusations multiply, and the pursuit of resolution can leave you financially exhausted. Drawing from my own experiences, I discuss why recognizing these patterns matters, how moving on with a new partner can intensify conflict, and why choosing the right legal representation and knowing which battles to fight can save you thousands of dollars. Most importantly, we talk about faith, discernment, and remembering that God never promised we wouldn't walk through the valley. He promised He would walk with us. You cannot force someone else to move on. But you do not have to remain standing still because they haven't. 🎙️ Not The Narrative with Abi Connect with Abi Have a story to share, a question, or an experience you'd like to discuss? Whether you're reaching out personally or professionally, I'd love to hear from you. 📸 Instagram: @notthenarrativewithAbi 🎵 TikTok: @notthenarrativewithabi 🎧 Listen, Follow & Subscribe on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/3rzl1PHreiR1Y6ThxlUQ8n If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Your storm is not your story. #NotTheNarrativeWithAbi #FamilyCourtSurvivalGuide #NarcissisticAbuse #CoerciveControl #HighConflictCoparenting #FaithOverFear

  3. Sep 14

    When Family Court Expects You to Be the Perfect Mother Motherhood Under a Microscope

    There is motherhood—and then there is motherhood when someone is waiting for you to fail. In Episode 25 of the Family Court Survival Guide, Abi gets real about the impossible standard mothers can face in high-conflict family court: where an ordinary parenting decision can become an email, an allegation, or another piece of “evidence.” And for Black mothers, there can be another layer—the pressure of navigating a system while carrying stereotypes about being “angry,” “aggressive,” “difficult,” or “controlling.” This episode asks some uncomfortable questions: Why are we examining a mother's strength more closely than the behaviour that required her to become this strong? How can there always be money to fight about a child, but suddenly not enough money to provide for the child? Are we financing our children—or financing our resentment? And while the adults are litigating, documenting and fighting, what does the child actually want? Often, it's much simpler: their school, friends, community, activities, routines—and the reassurance that although their family has changed, their entire world doesn't have to change with it. The world may be looking for your imperfections. Your child is looking for your arms. 🎙️ Not The Narrative with AbiFamily Court Survival Guide — Episode 25 If this episode resonates with you, follow and subscribe to Not The Narrative with Abi on Spotify and wherever you listen to podcasts. Share this episode with another mother navigating separation, divorce, co-parenting or family court. She may need to hear that she isn't alone. Connect with Abi:Instagram: @notthenarrativewithabiTikTok: @notthenarrativewithabiFacebook: @notthenarrativewithabi 🎧 Follow • Subscribe • Share Your storm is part of your story—but it does not get to become your story.

  4. Aug 25

    When Co-Parenting Becomes Control—Protect Your Peace and Your Child

    When co-parenting becomes another way to control, provoke and maintain emotional access to you, how do you protect your peace—and your child? In Episode 24 of the Family Court Survival Series, Abi shares how she stopped responding to every allegation, defending herself against every accusation and participating in circular email arguments that were never intended to reach a resolution. Some conflicts are not really about the child. They are invitations back into chaos—and proof that the other parent can still affect your emotions. Abi discusses recognizing that trap, shortening communication, involving your lawyer when necessary and accepting that you cannot force another person to develop empathy, accountability or emotional regulation. Instead, you can redirect your energy toward supporting your child, creating an emotionally safe home and modelling the kindness and respect you want your child to expect from others. Choosing peace does not mean the other person was right. It means their behaviour no longer gets to control your life. Through prayer, gospel music and trusting God with what she cannot change, Abi explains why you do not need the other parent’s cooperation—or permission—to protect your joy. If this episode speaks to you, follow, subscribe and share it with another parent navigating family court or high-conflict co-parenting. For one-on-one support, DM @notthenarrativewithabi on Instagram or TikTok. Their behaviour is their responsibility. Your healing, peace and joy belong to you.

  5. Jul 27

    Family Court Is Not a Relationship. Stop Waiting to Live.

    Family court can feel like it's keeping you emotionally tied to someone you already chose to leave. In this deeply personal episode of the Family Court Survival Guide, Abi shares one of the most life-changing lessons she learned after years of navigating high-conflict family court: you don't have to put your life on hold while you wait for the legal process to end. Abi opens up about the emotional toll of years of litigation, the delays, the triggers, and the healing that came through it all. She shares how the waiting season strengthened her faith, rebuilt her business, deepened her relationships, sharpened her discernment, and ultimately helped her rediscover joy, purpose, and peace. If you're waiting for your ex to let go, for the judge to make a decision, or for family court to finally end before allowing yourself to move forward, this episode is for you. Your life doesn't begin when the court case ends. It begins the moment you choose to reclaim it. In this episode, you'll learn: Why family court can keep you emotionally connected to your exHow to stop making family court your identityThe hidden purpose behind seasons of waitingHow faith, healing, and self-worth can grow during the delayWhy your children need to see you choose joy, peace, and healthy loveHow to move forward—even while your court case is still ongoingScripture:Jeremiah 29:11 – "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Connect with Abi 📱 Instagram: @notthenarrativewithabi 🎵 TikTok: @notthenarrativewithabi 🔗 Beacons: https://beacons.ai/notthenarrativewithabi 🤝 Looking for one-on-one support from someone who's lived through high-conflict family court? Send me a DM on Instagram to learn more about my private coaching sessions. ⭐ If this episode encouraged you, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who needs the reminder that family court is part of their story—but it does not have to become their identity.

  6. Jul 14

    Family Court Doesn’t Heal Your Pain. It Focuses on the Child.

    One of the hardest lessons I learned during my family court journey was realizing that the courtroom was never designed to heal my pain. Like many parents, I entered the process believing that if I told the truth, the court would naturally see what I had experienced and justice would follow. But family court has a different role. Its primary focus is determining what it believes is in the best interests of the child—not providing emotional validation or closure for parents. In this episode of the Family Court Survival Guide, I share the conversation that changed my perspective, the biggest misconception many parents have before entering the system, and why understanding the purpose of family court can help you approach your case with greater clarity, peace, and confidence. In this episode, you’ll learn: * Why family court isn’t designed to heal your emotional pain * The biggest misconception many parents have before entering the system * The difference between seeking validation and presenting evidence * Why protecting your peace is just as important as protecting your case * How to keep rebuilding your life while your court case continues If you’re navigating a high-conflict separation or family court, I hope this episode reminds you that while the legal process may shape decisions about your case, it does not define your worth. Need additional support? I offer High-Conflict Divorce & Family Court Coaching for women navigating separation, narcissistic abuse, and high-conflict co-parenting. My goal is to help you move through this season with clarity, confidence, and practical strategies. 🔗 connect with me: https://beacons.ai/notthenarrativewithabi Follow & connect with me: * Instagram: @notthenarrativewithabi * TikTok: @notthenarrativewithabi If this episode encouraged you, please follow the podcast, subscribe, leave a 5-star rating and review, and share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Every follow, review, and share helps Not The Narrative reach more people navigating high-conflict divorce and family court. Thank you for being part of the Not The Narrative community. Remember, your story is bigger than your struggle.

  7. Jun 24

    I Paid the Price So You Don't Have To | Family Court Survival Series

    Episode 21 marks the beginning of a brand-new chapter of Not The Narrative With Abi: The Family Court Survival Series. If you're entering family court, dealing with a high-conflict co-parent, overwhelmed by legal fees, or wondering how you're going to survive another court date, this episode is for you. In this deeply personal episode, Abi shares the lessons that cost her emotionally, financially, and personally—so you don't have to learn them the hard way. She discusses:• Why family court takes longer than you expect.• How fear can lead to expensive decisions.• Why every legal email is not an emergency.• The difference between being right and proving your case.• How court can slowly become your entire identity.• Finding peace while the conflict continues. This is not legal advice. It is lived experience. If you've ever sat in your car after court and cried, stayed awake worrying about legal bills, or wondered if you'll ever feel like yourself again, you are not alone. Welcome to The Family Court Survival Series. Because sometimes the most valuable lessons are the ones someone else paid for first. Follow @NotTheNarrativeWithAbi on TikTok, Instagram, Beacons, and YouTube. DM me for one-on-one separation, divorce, high-conflict co-parenting, and family court coaching.

  8. Jun 18

    The Storm Is Not Your Story

    This is the final episode of the Walking Through the Valley of the Storm series. For years, I walked through uncertainty, financial pressure, family court battles, fear, grief, and seasons where I genuinely didn't know how things would work out. I thought the goal was simply to survive. What I learned is that the valley wasn't sent to destroy me. It was shaping me. Teaching me. Refining me. In this episode, I share the lessons that carried me through the darkest season of my life: faith, prayer, surrender, financial stewardship, resilience, community, and learning to trust God when I couldn't see the outcome. If you're walking through your own valley right now, I want you to know something: The storm is not your story. Your story is who you're becoming because of it. 🎙️ Listen now and share with someone who needs hope today. If you're navigating separation, divorce, high-conflict co-parenting, financial rebuilding, or simply trying to find your footing again, you don't have to walk through it alone. I offer one-on-one high-conflict divorce support, separation coaching, and peer support based on lived experience. 📩 Connect with me through my Beacons page or send me a DM. Follow @NotTheNarrativeWithAbi on TikTok, Instagram, Beacons and YouTube. The storm isn't my story anymore. The testimony is.

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Not the Narrative is a first-person podcast about living beyond the story told about you. Hosted by Abi, the show explores high-conflict family court proceedings and the lived experience of remaining grounded through scrutiny — while raising a child, sustaining a business, holding faith in imperfect systems, dating again after disruption, and practicing emotional regulation under pressure. This is not legal advice or commentary, but a record of integration and composure while everything is in motion.

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