The Courageous Journey

Paula Walters
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Welcome to The Courageous Journey with Paula Walters.I'm a speaker, consultant, paramedic, and trauma-informed educator passionate about helping people understand how trauma impacts the brain, nervous system, and body—and why that understanding changes everything.After surviving childhood abuse, domestic violence, a near-fatal strangulation, and traumatic brain injury, I spent years searching for answers. It wasn't until I began asking, "What happened to me?" instead of "What's wrong with me?" that my healing truly began.Each week, we'll explore the science of trauma, brain health, nervous system regulation, healing, and resilience through honest conversations, practical education, and real-life experiences.Whether you're a survivor searching for answers, a healthcare professional, first responder, advocate, educator, caregiver, or simply someone wanting to better understand trauma, this podcast will challenge your perspective, expand your understanding, and remind you that healing is possible.Together, we'll bridge neuroscience, lived experience, and hope—because when we understand trauma, we understand people.Brain-Aware. Trauma-Informed. Survivor-Centered.Disclaimer:The information shared on this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered medical, mental health, or legal advice.While I draw from my professional experience as a paramedic and my personal journey through trauma and recovery, this podcast does not replace care from qualified healthcare or mental health professionals.Every healing journey is unique. Please consult an appropriate licensed professional regarding your individual health, medical, or mental health needs.

  1. Sep 22

    Why Don't They Just Leave?

    "Why don't they just leave?" It is one of the most common questions asked about people experiencing domestic violence—and I believe it may be one of the wrong questions. Last week on The Courageous Journey, we talked about how behavior is information and looked beyond labels like difficult, manipulative, attention-seeking, angry, noncompliant, lazy, and self-sabotaging. In this episode, I take that same curiosity into a behavior society often judges incredibly harshly: staying in—or returning to—an abusive relationship. But this conversation isn't only about domestic violence. After more than 25 years as a paramedic, I've responded to plenty of 911 calls where I knew clinically that someone probably didn't need an ambulance. Years ago, I sometimes wondered why they called. Why didn't they call their doctor? Why didn't someone drive them? Why didn't they go to urgent care? Healing changed the question I ask. Maybe they're scared. Maybe they're alone. Maybe they don't have transportation. Maybe they couldn't get an appointment. Maybe they don't understand what's happening in their body. Or maybe I simply don't have enough information to understand the decision they made before I arrived. Clinical assessment and judgment of another human being are not the same thing. That realization changed the way I care for patients—and it changed the way I understand my own story. In this episode, I share pieces of my childhood and what it meant to grow up with an ACE score of nine. I talk about the little girl who once flinched when her dad coughed or sneezed, and what I now understand about the day that flinching eventually stopped. The absence of the flinch didn't necessarily mean the presence of safety. The chaos didn't become safe. It became familiar. I talk about becoming wired for protection instead of connection, learning to read rooms and moods while never really learning how to deeply connect with safe people. And when people later asked why I didn't simply leave abusive relationships, there was another question nobody seemed to ask: Leave and go where? We also talk about the practical realities that can make leaving extraordinarily complicated: housing, finances, financial abuse, children, transportation, pets, employment, isolation, threats, attachment, family dynamics, and safety concerns surrounding separation. And I talk honestly about something else: I wasn't always healthy either. I was angry. I was reactive. I hurt people. I made unhealthy decisions. Those behaviors became mine to understand, own, and change. But my unhealthy behavior did not make someone else's decision to abuse me my fault. My behavior was mine to own. Their violence was theirs to own. Accountability and compassion can exist together. Ultimately, this episode isn't about providing one simple explanation for why someone stays. It's about recognizing how dangerous it can be to assume we understand someone's choices when we're only seeing a fraction of their life. We may have enough information to see the behavior without having enough information to explain it. Maybe that should make us curious before it makes us critical. So instead of asking: "Why don't they just leave?" Maybe we need to start asking: "What is making leaving difficult, and what could help make safety possible?" One question asks us to judge a decision from the outside. The other asks us to understand the human being living through it. Healing begins with understanding. Chapters 00:00 — Why Don't They Just Leave? Why I believe we may be starting with the wrong question. 00:38 — Behavior Is Information Taking last week's conversation about labels and applying it to staying in or returning to abusive relationships. 01:59 — What EMS Taught Me About Judgment Why I no longer ask, "Why would someone call 911 for this?" 05:03 — From Judgment to Curiosity The question that changed how I see patients and other people's behavior: "What am I missing?" 06:44 — My Childhood Didn't Introduce Me to Safety Growing up with an ACE score of nine, chaos at home, and the experiences that shaped what felt normal. 08:33 — The Little Girl Who Stopped Flinching What I now understand about my body's response to my dad—and why familiar doesn't mean safe. 09:48 — Wired for Protection Instead of Connection Learning to read rooms, moods, and people while struggling to build deep, safe relationships. 11:39 — Leave and Go Where? Why walking out the door isn't the whole story when there is nowhere safe to land. 13:21 — How Abuse Can Become Part of "Normal" Generational patterns, early experiences, and the messages we absorb about relationships. 14:53 — When Family Sides With the Person Who Hurt You What happened when my father supported men who faced domestic violence charges after hurting me. 16:04 — Everyone Could See My Behavior The bruises and injuries were there—but my anger and reactions were easier for people to judge. 16:47 — I Was a Victim—and I Was Unhealthy Why accountability for my behavior and responsibility for someone else's violence are two different things. 17:53 — Familiar Harm and Unfamiliar Safety What I mean—and don't mean—when I talk about familiarity, predictability, and the nervous system. 19:36 — Leaving Is About More Than Trauma Housing, money, children, transportation, pets, employment, threats, isolation, love, attachment, and safety. 22:27 — We Don't Know the Whole Story Why seeing someone's behavior doesn't mean we have enough information to explain it. 23:05 — I Used to Judge Younger Me Moving from "What was wrong with you?" to "What happened to you?" 24:31 — Understanding What Shame Never Could Why telling the whole story matters—and why survival behaviors can be complicated. 26:43 — What Professionals Need to Consider What happens when the people working with survivors still ask, "Why don't they leave?" 27:09 — Maybe We Need a Different Question "What is making leaving difficult, and what could help make safety possible?" 27:38 — Healing Begins With Understanding

  2. Sep 16

    Behavior Is Information: What the Labels Never Explained

    What if the labels we give people describe the behavior we see—but completely miss what is happening underneath it? I've been called lazy, angry, manipulative, attention-seeking, self-sabotaging, noncompliant, and difficult. And here's the uncomfortable truth: at different points in my life, some of my behaviors gave people very good reasons to use those words. I hurt people. I pushed healthy people away. I created chaos. I lied to avoid confrontation. I looked for validation in unhealthy ways. I missed appointments, questioned providers, struggled to follow through, and sometimes fought against the very people trying to help me. But the labels didn't tell the whole story. In this episode of The Courageous Journey, I'm going deeper than I usually do into the woman I used to be and what I understand about her now. We talk about childhood trauma, intimate partner violence, brain injury, chronic exhaustion, hypervigilance, people-pleasing, relationship patterns, healthcare experiences, and what can happen when survival responses become so familiar that we no longer recognize them as survival responses. This isn't about using trauma as an excuse. It's about understanding something I wish I had understood years ago: Understanding why we behave a certain way doesn't remove accountability. Sometimes understanding is what finally makes accountability possible. I can have compassion for the woman I was and still hold her accountable for the people she hurt. Whether you're a survivor, healthcare professional, first responder, advocate, educator, or simply someone trying to understand your own patterns, I hope this conversation encourages you to look beyond the label and ask a different question: What is this behavior telling us? Because the label may describe what you're seeing. It doesn't necessarily explain what's happening inside the person. Healing begins with understanding. Chapters / Bookmarks 00:00 — Behavior Is Information: Why Labels Aren't the Whole Story Why I'm sharing some of the hardest parts of my past and the seven labels we're exploring. 03:12 — Understanding Is Not an Excuse Why understanding behavior and accountability can—and should—exist together. 06:06 — "Lazy": What Nobody Could See Sleeping through EMS shifts, overwhelming fatigue, trauma, brain injury, and what looked like laziness from the outside. 10:41 — What "Lazy" Looks Like in My Life Today Learning to recognize overload instead of judging myself for needing rest. 13:45 — "Angry": What Was My Nervous System Protecting? Childhood violence, hypervigilance, the 2006 assault, and why fighting became such a powerful response. 18:32 — "Self-Sabotaging": When Safe Felt Unfamiliar Pushing good people away, creating chaos, leaving relationships and places, and learning that familiar doesn't necessarily mean safe. 21:58 — "Manipulative": Survival Strategies That Followed Me Into Adulthood People-pleasing, lying to avoid confrontation, testing relationships, and learning to read other people's emotions for safety. 25:41 — "Attention-Seeking": What Was I Really Seeking? Old Facebook posts, validation, reassurance, appearance, relationships, and the deeper need beneath the attention. 30:33 — "Noncompliant": What Was Getting in the Way? More than 50 providers, missed appointments, forgotten bills, cognitive struggles, medical mistrust, and the danger of stopping at the label. 34:36 — "Difficult": Questioning People, Systems—and Myself Why healing hasn't made me blindly trusting and how I've learned to distinguish discernment from old survival responses. 36:51 — When Survival Becomes Your Normal How childhood adaptations can become so familiar that we stop recognizing them as behaviors at all. 40:48 — What Courage Means to Me Now Owning not only what happened to me, but also what I did because of what happened to me. 42:33 — What Is the Behavior Telling Us? Moving beyond labels and becoming curious about what's happening inside the person. 43:47 — A Different Question Not only "What's wrong with you?" or "What happened to you?" but "What is happening inside you because of what happened to you?"

  3. Sep 8

    What Is Going On Inside of Me Because of What Happened to Me?

    What if the behavior we see on the outside is only part of the story? Last week on The Courageous Journey, I talked about changing the question from "What's wrong with me?" to "What happened to me?" and eventually, "What happened inside of me because of what happened to me?" This week, we start answering that question. Trauma isn't only something that happened in the past. Our experiences can influence how our brains and bodies respond in the present—including our nervous system, perception of safety, attention, memory, emotional responses, decision-making, sensory processing, and behavior. In this episode, I break down what can happen when the brain perceives danger and why the danger can be over while the brain and body are still responding to what they learned during it. I also share my own experience of beginning to understand reactions I once judged in myself, including the "Bob Evans story" I often use in my professional trainings. It's an example of what can happen when the past and present collide—and why understanding what is happening underneath a behavior can completely change the questions we ask. We also talk about an important distinction: understanding does not remove accountability. The goal isn't to assume trauma explains every behavior or to diagnose someone based on what we see. It's to recognize that behavior is visible, while the mechanisms producing it often are not. Sometimes the most important thing we can do is replace certainty with curiosity. IN THIS EPISODE • How trauma can affect the brain, body, and nervous system • Why the brain prioritizes survival when it perceives danger • Fight, flight, freeze, and survival responses • How past experiences can collide with the present • What we really mean when we talk about "triggers" • My Bob Evans story and what it taught me about trauma • How perceived danger can affect memory, processing, communication, and decision-making • Why someone may appear difficult when they are actually having difficulty • How understanding my own brain changed the way I approach healing and rehabilitation • Why curiosity is not diagnosis • Why understanding and accountability can exist together • Questions professionals, families, and all of us can ask before judging behavior CHAPTERS 00:00 — What happened inside of me? Introducing this week's question and why understanding what happens beneath behavior matters. 03:18 — What do we actually mean by trauma? Moving beyond words like "triggered," "dysregulated," and "trauma-informed" to understand what may actually be happening in the brain and body. 04:05 — Your brain is constantly processing safety How the brain takes in information and why survival can take priority over reasoning, planning, memory, and social expectations. 05:30 — Fight, flight, freeze & survival responses Understanding these responses as protective mechanisms rather than simply personality traits or conscious choices. 08:14 — When the danger is over but the response remains Why the end of an event doesn't necessarily mean every system in the brain and body immediately returns to baseline. 09:46 — My Bob Evans story: when past and present collide How the smell of bacon, childhood trauma, exhaustion, and a difficult EMS call came together in a reaction I didn't understand at the time. 11:52 — What is a trigger, really? How smells, sounds, voices, facial expressions, environments, medical procedures, and other sensory information can become connected to previous experiences. 13:44 — What perceived threat can change Attention, concentration, memory, processing, emotional regulation, decision-making, communication, and the ability to organize thoughts. 14:44 — Looking at behavior in real life Using real-world examples to understand what difficulty organizing thoughts and processing information can look like from the outside. 16:08 — What EMS taught me about the brain under stress How even trained professionals experience changes in attention and priorities during critical situations. 17:43 — What might actually be underneath the behavior? Anger, distraction, forgetfulness, shutdown, agitation, inconsistency, avoidance, and overwhelm may not tell us the whole story. 19:00 — Replace certainty with curiosity Why "being difficult" and "having difficulty" can look remarkably similar from the outside. 20:08 — Behavior is visible. The mechanisms often aren't. Understanding why curiosity doesn't require us to diagnose someone—it simply asks us to acknowledge what we may not know. 20:50 — Looking back at the version of me I didn't understand Reflecting on the years when my symptoms, reactions, and limitations were judged by me and by people around me. 22:09 — What changed when I started understanding my brain Learning about trauma, brain injury, strangulation, sensory processing, memory, and neurorehabilitation helped seemingly random experiences begin to make sense. 24:03 — Learning to recognize my own patterns Moving from "Why am I like this?" to asking what information my brain is receiving, what is overwhelming it, what it needs, and what I can change. 25:19 — Understanding does NOT remove accountability Why understanding a nervous-system response isn't an excuse for behavior—and can actually give us more opportunity to respond differently. 26:53 — Turning the question outward What healthcare, EMS, law enforcement, courts, advocacy, schools, families, and relationships can learn from looking beyond behavior. 28:48 — Your challenge for this week Don't diagnose yourself or someone else. Start noticing. What are you assuming the behavior means, and what information might you be missing? THIS WEEK'S TAKEAWAY Behavior is something we can see. The mechanisms producing it often aren't. Curiosity doesn't require us to know exactly what is happening inside another person. It simply requires us to recognize that we may not know. Understanding isn't where responsibility ends. Sometimes, understanding is where responsibility finally becomes possible. And sometimes the behavior is the part we can see. The story underneath it is the part we still need to understand. Healing begins with understanding. — Paula Walters The Courageous Journey

  4. Sep 1

    Reframing the Question: Why I Stopped Asking What's Wrong With Me?

    Reframing the Question: I Stopped Asking "What's Wrong With Me?" For years, I asked questions that already assumed something was wrong with me. Why was this so hard? Why couldn't I remember? Why did my brain and body respond the way they did? Why couldn't I just make myself do things that seemed so simple for everyone else? Over time, I began learning to ask different questions. Instead of only asking, "What's wrong with me?" I began asking, "What happened to me?" Eventually, that became an even deeper question: "What happened inside me because of what happened to me?" And now I'm learning to ask one more: "What do I want to do with that understanding?" In this episode of The Courageous Journey, I talk about what changed when I stopped beginning with judgment and started approaching my own struggles with curiosity. I share how years of unexplained physical, neurological, memory, and emotional symptoms led me to create explanations about myself that were often far less compassionate than the truth. We also explore why this matters far beyond my own story. A patient may not simply be "difficult"—they may be having difficulty. A survivor's decision may be influenced by circumstances we cannot see from the outside. A witness struggling with chronology may need another question before we make assumptions about credibility. And someone struggling to follow instructions may be experiencing cognitive overload. But this conversation is not about explaining every behavior through trauma. Curiosity isn't diagnosis. Trauma, brain injury, fear, cognitive load, medical issues, exhaustion, environmental barriers, or financial barriers may matter—or none of them may explain the behavior at all. Sometimes boundaries and accountability are still necessary. For me, understanding has become less about finding an excuse and more about finding somewhere to begin. My past can explain pieces of who I became without determining who I have to remain. This episode also marks the beginning of the next season of The Courageous Journey, as I share where we're headed through the rest of 2026 and invite you to come along as I write, build professional education, speak, learn, continue my own rehabilitation, and keep asking better questions. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 — Welcome: Reframing the Question Why I stopped asking "What's wrong with me?" and began asking different questions. 02:05 — The Questions We Ask Matter How the way we frame a question can determine where we go looking for the answer. 04:19 — When No One Could Explain What Was Happening Years of physical, neurological, memory, and emotional symptoms—and what happened when I began creating my own explanations. 06:49 — Turning Symptoms Into Character Flaws Why unexplained struggles can become labels like weak, anxious, difficult, lazy, or broken. 08:15 — Reframing "What's Wrong With Me?" Moving from judgment toward curiosity and asking, "What happened to me?" 10:28 — What Happened Inside Me? Why knowing what happened wasn't enough—and how questions about the brain, nervous system, memory, processing, brain injury, and strangulation began connecting the pieces. 13:09 — Being Difficult vs. Having Difficulty How I began reframing my own frustration with memory, processing, overwhelm, technology, and learning new things. 17:13 — Curiosity Isn't Diagnosis Why becoming trauma-informed should not mean automatically explaining every behavior with trauma. 19:11 — Understanding Has to Lead Somewhere Responsibility, growth, brain rehabilitation, writing, speaking, learning, and challenging myself in new ways. 22:37 — Where The Courageous Journey Is Going Next The thread connecting the work and the themes we'll explore through September, October, November, and December. 24:48 — The Different Perspectives I'll Bring Paramedic. Professional. Survivor. Educator. Student of my own brain. And sometimes simply a person living the journey. 25:40 — Finding My Lane Why I spent years trying to figure out where I belonged—and what changed when I finally recognized how the pieces fit together. 28:05 — What Question Are You Asking? An invitation to identify a question you keep asking and consider whether a better question might lead somewhere different. A QUESTION TO CARRY WITH YOU What is one area of your life—or one person you work with—where you may have been asking the same question over and over? What might change if you asked: What might be happening underneath this? What don't I understand yet? What might be making this difficult? What information am I missing? Now that I understand more, what do I want to do with that understanding? Sometimes changing the question changes everything. Healing begins with understanding. #TheCourageousJourney #TraumaInformed #BrainInjuryAwareness #HumanBehavior #HealingJourney #TraumaRecovery #BrainHealth #NervousSystem #DomesticViolenceAwareness #BrainAware #SurvivorVoices #PaulaWalters

  5. Aug 25

    I Don't Want to Be an Influencer. I Want to Leave Breadcrumbs

    I Don't Want to Be an Influencer. I Want to Leave Breadcrumbs. For a long time, I thought I needed to figure out my "lane." Was I supposed to talk about childhood trauma? Domestic violence? Brain injury? Strangulation? The nervous system? Healing? The problem was that none of those things felt separate to me. Then I realized something even bigger: I don't want to be an influencer. When I first became more intentional about social media, I found myself thinking about followers, reach, monetization and how people build careers online. Somewhere along the way, I started believing that maybe I could build something big enough to eventually leave EMS. But when I really looked underneath that goal, I realized I wasn't necessarily building a new career. I was building an escape route from something I actually love. That realization forced me to rethink what success looks like for me — and why I share any of this in the first place. In this episode of The Courageous Journey, I talk about my relationship with EMS, the boundaries I have learned I need, and why serving my local community still matters deeply to me. I also share the story of one of the most important "breadcrumbs" in my own healing journey. Years ago, while searching desperately for answers about what was happening to my brain, I found another woman's brain-injury story online. Her injury wasn't like mine. Her story wasn't my story. But something she shared gave me another question to ask. That question opened another door. And eventually, those breadcrumbs helped lead me toward functional neurology — a pivotal part of my own healing journey. She didn't know me. She simply shared what she had learned. And somewhere out there was a woman searching for answers who needed to hear it. I was that woman. That's when something clicked for me: I don't need a million followers. I need the right information to reach the right person at the right time. Maybe a survivor recognizes something in themselves. Maybe a family member understands a behavior differently. Maybe a paramedic asks one additional question. Maybe an advocate recognizes a possible brain injury. Maybe an attorney begins thinking differently about memory. Maybe a healthcare professional looks beyond the symptom in front of them. That's what I want The Courageous Journey to become. Not a place where I pretend to have all the answers. A place where we keep asking better questions. A place where survivors can find language for things they haven't understood. A place where families can begin connecting pieces. And a place where professionals might encounter one idea that changes how they see the person sitting in front of them. I don't want to be an influencer. I want to leave breadcrumbs. Because somebody else's breadcrumbs once changed the trajectory of my life. Maybe that's enough of a reason to keep leaving them. Healing begins with understanding.

  6. Aug 18

    Maybe I Was Never Broken: What Healing Is Teaching Me About Shame, Survival & Who I Really Am

    Maybe I Was Never Broken: What Healing Is Teaching Me About Shame, Survival & Who I Really Am What if some of the things you've spent years believing were wrong with you weren't evidence that you were broken at all? What if they were adaptations? In this episode of The Courageous Journey, I reflect on something that happened while speaking at the National Domestic Violence Hotline Conference in Texas. I walked into a room I had been invited into—and still found myself wondering whether I belonged. I noticed everyone else's degrees, credentials, titles and accomplishments. I questioned whether I was educated enough, professional enough, or even looked the part. And then a question hit me: Why am I standing in a room I've already been invited into trying to prove that I deserve to be there? That realization opened a much bigger conversation about shame, trauma, survival, and the stories we learn to believe about ourselves. In this episode, I explore the difference between believing "something is wrong with me" and beginning to ask "what happened to me?" We talk about how trauma can influence the brain and nervous system, why survival responses can sometimes look like personality flaws, why chaos can feel more comfortable than peace, and why understanding our past doesn't mean excusing harmful behavior. Because two things can be true: Trauma can help explain our behavior—and we are still responsible for what we do with that understanding. Maybe healing isn't about fixing a broken version of ourselves. Maybe it's about finally understanding the person who survived, having compassion for who they were, and teaching our brains and bodies that we are allowed to respond differently now. IN THIS EPISODE 00:00 — Maybe I Was Never Broken? Why speaking at a national conference brought old feelings of inadequacy to the surface. 01:32 — The Lifelong Need to Prove Myself Working harder, doing more, being needed—and the question underneath it all: Am I enough yet? 03:07 — Guilt vs. Shame The important difference between "I did something I regret" and "there is something wrong with me." 04:10 — Changing the Question Moving from "What's wrong with me?" to "What happened to me, and what did I learn because of it?" 05:32 — What If My "Flaws" Were Adaptations? People-pleasing, hypervigilance, difficulty trusting, rejection, overworking and the stories underneath our behavior. 07:18 — What Trauma Can Change How trauma can affect threat detection, attention, memory, emotional regulation, relationships and our ability to return to baseline. 08:17 — When the Past and Present Collide Why a tone, facial expression, silence, smell, sound or situation can trigger a response before we consciously understand why. 09:28 — Why Chaos Can Feel Like Home Why familiar doesn't always mean healthy—and why peace can initially feel uncomfortable after living in survival mode. 12:09 — I Don't Want to Hate Her Anymore Looking at previous versions of ourselves with understanding instead of shame. 14:28 — Two Things Can Be True Why understanding trauma does not eliminate accountability. 16:15 — Recognizing What I Brought Into the Room Moving from comparing what I didn't have to recognizing the experience, knowledge and story I already carried. 17:25 — Five Questions to Ask Yourself A practical way to interrupt "What's wrong with me?" and replace shame with curiosity. 19:04 — Looking Back With Compassion, Forward With Responsibility Maybe you're not broken. Maybe there's simply more to your story than you've understood yet. QUESTIONS TO TAKE WITH YOU The next time you catch yourself thinking "What's wrong with me?", try asking: What happened to me? Where did I learn this response? What am I trying to protect myself from? Did this response help me once? Is it helping me now? What would I like to learn instead? We don't have to hate ourselves into becoming healthier. We can look backward with compassion and forward with responsibility. Healing begins with understanding. If this episode resonates with you, share it with someone who may need the reminder that understanding why we became who we became doesn't mean we have to stay there. We are allowed to learn something different. — Paula Walters The Courageous Journey

  7. Aug 12

    Paula Interviews Dr. Mike Hennes of The Neural Connection

    Paula Hello Everyone and welcome to The Courageous Journey. I have an exciting episode with for you today. I am actually going to be talking with doctor Mike Hennes from The Neural Connection. He is the doctor that if you've been seeing any of my social media, or you've listened to me talk about in any of my speaking engagements, I often refer to him as doctor Mike. And the person that I have worked with, I had get a lot of questions about my care with him, so I brought him on, especially since I'll be speaking at the National conference on the hotline Conference against Domestic Violence here in a couple days. So I want to say this. I gave him a bunch of questions, and I know that we have a limited time, so I'm going to kind of just frame it as this in what a lot of my, my talks are about. So as a survivor of childhood trauma, a score of nine domestic violence, I had a near-fatal strangulation and had multiple, you know, diagnoses when I first went to functional medicine in 2019. So I'm going to doctor Mike was the third doctor that I saw, and I have seen him three times. I know that one of the things, Mike, that people ask is like, what exactly is functional medicine? And one of the things that I think that I have a really hard time explaining to people is that like that I can that you can heal and kind of like what you guys actually do. Like, how did I go out? How do I come out there so symptomatic? And then I come back in just a few days with you guys so much better. And I think the other thing that I have a really hard time conveying to my audience is that can emotional trauma cause physical symptoms. So and I guess I'll say one more thing. I used to think that I was a unicorn, you know, with this DV hit to the head chronic illness thing. And I am not there are so many people that are getting lost in the medical system. Can you also kind of help address that? Sure. Dr. Hennes So let's take a one at a time. What is functional medicine? Functional medicine is more or less a different way of thinking about health care. So instead of trying to tailor treatment based on an individual test and something you find on that test, it's about looking at the whole picture and really tailoring care toward one person. And we're optimizing for function rather than looking for the deficit. So blood tests are a classic example of this. I'm not looking to see if you're sick. I'm looking to see how far away from perfect something is working and function. And then my specialty is a subset of functional medicine we're in specifically. So I'm very concerned about brain health brain function. And how do we make the individual parts of the brain work better. And how do we make all of the parts of the brain communicate with each other and your body as a whole, so that you can tell what's going on around you? And then there are a bunch of questions in there. The one I remember was emotional trauma. Interestingly, the brain, there's part of the brain, the that works specifically on emotion. But what's really interesting about the brain is that you can. If you think something your brain doesn't really know, the difference between what's in front of you or just your thought process. So stresses the classic example if you're anxious, if you're stressed, if you're thinking about that all the time, your brain is going to be stressed out. You're going to have physiologic changes, things that you can measure and see those things. If you wear any kind of fitness tracker, you'll see these things. When you're stressed, your sleep is going to be, or your heart rate variability is going to be not doing as well as it should. Your heart rate is probably gonna be higher. All of those sorts of things. So emotional trauma, damage, stress, whatever realm that you currently fit into is certainly going to impact physiology. And that's not necessarily going to show up on an MRI, right? If you have a long term and your blood pressure is high and you're having a lot of construction of blood vessels, you might end up with some microvascular disease. It would have to take a very long time. But, you know, long term down the line, you might start to find some of these things. You had a couple more questions in there, but we had a bunch at a time. Paula So for women listening to this and yes, men have the same things, but this is predominantly a woman thing. So there's women out there who have been victims of domestic violence. They've been hit to the head. They've had, you know, strangulation in those types of things. And they're being told, oh, you're hormonal. You know, your your seat looks fine, your blood works fine. Oh, you probably got anxiety, depression. And, you know, they just they have chronic illness. They just can barely get out of bed. And I try to explain them like neuro fatigue. But why is, you know, I think that I, my title is often invisible injuries because that's what it was for me. They people couldn't see it. And so what does that look like for the women that are listening to this that like maybe they're there, they've heard me talk somewhere and they're like, could this be me? And how can all those things, those hits to the head and maybe those, you know, things where they've had something placed around their neck lead them to start having being misdiagnosed, I guess I would say. And where can they go to, like, how do you get those answers? Dr. Hennes Sure. Let's talk on a lot of levels, because in healthcare in general, your goal is to measure something. And a lot of the injuries we're talking about, there's just not unless there's bruising or there's outward sign, you're exactly right. It's invisible. And even if you run something like a CT or an MRI, you're not necessarily going to find anything. One of the things we worry about in the concussion space, the brain injury space is the sub concussive impact. So you got hit in the head. Maybe it wasn't a catastrophic injury, you weren't conscious, etc., etc. but it happens frequently. Or you become hypoxic. You're strangled frequently, but not enough to cause outward sign. Now we're starting to worry about prolonged function being declined in the brain as far as what you do about it, or why it gets dismissed. Women's physiology is generally just more complicated. Your hormones are more complex than men's, and there's a lot more that goes into keeping that normal. So it's very easy to dismiss things as hormone. And I think that's part of it. The other part is. There's a there's a, an aspect of we just we don't know how to deal with it as a society. The other thing is that as a provider, talking about things like domestic violence or abuse, or if we lump this into the realm of mental health on both sides, is we just we don't know how to talk about this yet, because to the average person, I've been guilty of this in my own very personal relationships is I don't you just leave and it's never that simple. And if you're not in it, you will never understand it. I don't pretend to understand it. And that, I think, makes it hard. So as far as getting resources, if someone's not in a position to leave or they're not ready or they don't think they mean to, it can be very difficult. Especially if you have someone looking over your shoulder or going through your phone or and things like that. Right? I can't consult with someone that can't talk to me open and freely without fear of retribution. So I think that's also a piece of it is as providers, we're not equipped to have that conversation or just as people we don't have the emotional intelligence to. And then likewise on the flip side, not being ready to seek that help or admit there as a problem or assuming things will change or. Misguided notions of of what's fair and what's not. And I think that's that's probably the bigger piece of it, is realizing when things can change, realizing things when they won't change, and being okay, getting help. Ever want to get into the point of sounding like I'm victim blaming? And that's not it at all. But it's it's it's tough to force help upon someone. Paula So going along with that is so you and your colleague Doctor Reese have both like, explained this and you've done so well. But me explain it to people about like the three friends, the three parts of the brain. I've learned by working with both of you that when one of those parts is not working well, I don't have a cognitive function.   Like that's when I start not trusting myself as a paramedic, and I try to explain to providers that are taking care of, you know, the police advocates, those type of people who are talking with these survivors that they're kind of like just trying to stay upright when one of those pieces are off and they don't know that those pieces are off because they haven't been evaluated like you were. And I think that that is probably you guys explaining that to me. It's probably been the pillar in the foundation of my healing. Can you kind of some that up here for maybe the people that are working with victims or the survivors themselves that are kind of listening to this and how important that really is? Dr. Hennes Sure. So brain is essentially built on layers. Everything has to communicate back and forth so that different parts of the brain can make good decisions. If we make this on a most basic level, the brain's job is to tell you where you are, where your body is in space, how you interact with the world. And if you can't do that, you can't make good decisions. This is obvious if someone has something like a head tilt or a lean, or they walk with a limp and they don't know how to control that body part appropriately, and you end up with bad biomechanics, right? So you don't know where you are. You have a forward lean, you're trying to lift a heavy gurney or something like that. You've got bad mechanics and you hurt your back. That makes perfect s

  8. Aug 10

    More Than the Power of One

    Hello everyone, and welcome to The Courageous Journey. My name is Paula and I am so excited that you are here. I just want to tell you that this is an off the cuff, not planned episode. You know, you complain as much as you want, but sometimes life just gives you what you need to talk about. And you have heard me talk. If you've been following me for any length of time about like, the power of one, and sometimes it's one person. Sometimes that's one conversation. And I know that this is going to not be a popular topic with some people, but I kind of want to just talk today about the power of one prayer. And that's because my, like, my life was so changed in inspired by a group of people yesterday that got up and put on their running clothes. And we're just going to do A5K up in Toledo, Ohio. And they just they inspired me so much. So I have been rebranding myself over the last, you know, a couple of weeks. I know my lane. I know with every inch of me like the direction that I want to go. You know, I've weaved in and out of like, do I do the brain injury thing? Do I do the domestic violence thing? Do I do in, in, you know, I found where I need to be. And the one piece that I was trying to figure out is I created in my on my professional quality Walter's page on Facebook, I have created two Facebook groups. One of them was for survivors. It's called the Courageous Survivor Community. And the other one is for the professionals who are working with survivors and victims of domestic violence, child abuse, you no human trafficking like that trauma type of stuff called the Courageous Professionals Network. And like, I wasn't exactly sure, like I knew what I wanted to do with it. I just didn't know how to kind of like frame that for people. And so I want to tell you about what I witnessed yesterday. So there I am, like working as a paramedic for this five K and this this running group as people finished in this, in this big running group at different stages throughout this five K, I started noticing like some of them were going back and they would go back with other people in the running group and come, you know, come with them. And then like they kept doing that and then like at the end, all of them, like a huge amount of them crossed the finish line, like went back for the person who was going to be the last one to cross the finish line and did that with them. Like, how amazing is that? That is absolutely. I like I wanted I was inspired so much that like, I, I want to do, I want to run with them, you know, so if you've been watching me for any length of time, you know, I did a half marathon and in that a marathon is on my bucket list. And like next year I'm going to try to do that in Toledo in September. And I really want to like I want to join them, but like, I just don't think that they know. And so here's what I'm going to talk about. Like, you never know when you get up, how you in the way that you live your life and who's watching and and the way that you may impact them. Like I, I took a picture of them. I asked the permission. I made a post about them on my page. Actually, I think I did too, but like there, now I'm a motivation board and they like watching. What they did made me. Realize how I wanted to structure my survivor group. And that was an answer to prayer. Like that. Prayer has been on my prayer list for months. And so like, it's it's just it's just truly amazing because they kept going back and they over and over and like, that was their community. And like, I saw people who were just like, just because I finished doesn't mean I'm done. Like that was amazing. They went back for those people. And so, you know, there we go. I talk and teach about these, you know, trauma and domestic violence and strangulation and brain injury and nervous system health and healing in my my mission has been to help people understand, you know, what's happening inside somebody when they've been through that. And like, I know what that work is supposed to look like, but what am I supposed to do with this community? And truly, they answered it because as I watched those runners, I realized, like, that's it. That's the community that I want inside my survivor's group. Not a place where you're standing in front as a person who is supposedly has, you know, kind of worked through your healing, how do you figure things out? No, not people comparing, like who is healed more. How did you do it? You know, not trying to get people to do it the same way you did, not competing over whose trauma was worse. But like, listen, this is what I wanted to look like. Someone who has learned how to establish boundaries can go back for someone who is struggling to set their first one, like someone who has learned to understand their trauma. Responses can walk beside someone who still thinks that something's wrong with them, someone who has found their voice can encourage someone who hasn't found theirs yet. Someone who has learned to live with peace can encourage somebody who's nervous system still is believing that you know chaos is home. And sometimes I'm going to be the one going back for somebody else, but sometimes I'm going to be the one who needs somebody coming back from me in that group. Because healing isn't linear. Nobody becomes so healed that they never need community again. Like I. If you've been watching me for any length of time, I've had to go back out to functional medicine. Things have happened. And some steps forward, some steps back, some steps forward, some steps back. You know, we heal at different pieces. So we got to go back for each other because nobody needs to be left behind and nobody needs to walk healing alone. And so if somebody is listening to this and you know you are a survivor and you want community center around and centered around healing and understanding and encouragement and connection. Go look for the courageous survivors community. We actually are going to be working together the first two weeks of October, which is Violence Awareness Month, and we're going to do a reset together in the group, me included. But like I does, runners didn't only answer a prayer about something that I had already created, they planted a seed for something completely new. So. In 2019. I was really struggling significantly. I was trying to heal from trauma. I was trying to understand like what was going on with my brain. I was kind of still dealing with addictions on unhealthy coping mechanisms. I was being told how sick I was and like I had had my driving privileges restricted and I wasn't able to function fully as a paramedic. And then there was this moment that kind of hit me and stop me in my tracks, and I was told that I probably wouldn't see 50 like. I didn't I didn't know what to do with that. But I knew, like, I knew something wasn't right. Like, I, you know, they're telling me I have an aggressive form of Ms.. And they kept giving me all these diagnoses and trying to put me on all these medications and like are and that's when I began to fight and I began to research. And, you know, I had Bill smock, who had told me in 2017, like, I think that you could have a brain injury from this near-fatal strangulation. And so I started like, really, you know, knows in the books and in computer actually researching. And like, I decided that I was going to go see these functional medicine doctors and like, my life changed. You guys, like in the matter of eight days of an intensive it it led me back to work and all this stuff and like to prove those doctors wrong. You know, I came back, I was back to work. I was doing so much better. And I'm like, I'll show them. I decided to do a half marathon. And, you know, it was a part of motivation, but, you know, it was also disturbing this because, you know, it's it's like in some way I wanted to prove that I wasn't sick as, as they were trying to tell me. And so, like, there's something about when I finished that half marathon in 2021, two years later, that was just amazing. And then there's now, like, I'm 52, I'm I made it to 50. I am still here in many ways. Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. I am in one of the most healthy places, if not the healthy. I would actually, I would just feel completely appropriate saying I am in the healthiest that I have been in my in my life and I'm not done. Ever since I have marathon, there has been something else sitting on that bucket list, and that's a full marathon. If you've been, you know, following me closely, you've seen that I've wanted to do it and I haven't done it. I don't personally know anyone that runs except for, you know, one person and. Didn't live close to me in running hard. You guys like. But I've thought about it and thought about it, and it's I've kept that marathon on my bucket list. And so yesterday, while watching that group that came alive again. And so I decided that next September I'm going to work towards completing that at a marathon in Toledo. And actually, if you're a runner, I would really, genuinely love for you to join me. If you're in, you know, around Toledo, there's a Garmin that's usually ran in September. I would love for you to go and listen. If you're a runner, I would love for you to let me know. I'm going to need to. I'm going to be starting when I get back from Texas on Thursday. Like I need a couch to marathon in one year. But those people inspired me. Like. It was crazy. Because what I realized that it takes courageTo do something like that. It takes courage to move towards something, but it also takes courage to move away from something. And so I thought about that courage in motion. And guess what? I made it. Another Facebook group called Courage in Motion. Now it is not at all a survivor group. That is kind of where the survivor, the courageous survivor community, is where survivors can go to support e

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About

Welcome to The Courageous Journey with Paula Walters.I'm a speaker, consultant, paramedic, and trauma-informed educator passionate about helping people understand how trauma impacts the brain, nervous system, and body—and why that understanding changes everything.After surviving childhood abuse, domestic violence, a near-fatal strangulation, and traumatic brain injury, I spent years searching for answers. It wasn't until I began asking, "What happened to me?" instead of "What's wrong with me?" that my healing truly began.Each week, we'll explore the science of trauma, brain health, nervous system regulation, healing, and resilience through honest conversations, practical education, and real-life experiences.Whether you're a survivor searching for answers, a healthcare professional, first responder, advocate, educator, caregiver, or simply someone wanting to better understand trauma, this podcast will challenge your perspective, expand your understanding, and remind you that healing is possible.Together, we'll bridge neuroscience, lived experience, and hope—because when we understand trauma, we understand people.Brain-Aware. Trauma-Informed. Survivor-Centered.Disclaimer:The information shared on this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered medical, mental health, or legal advice.While I draw from my professional experience as a paramedic and my personal journey through trauma and recovery, this podcast does not replace care from qualified healthcare or mental health professionals.Every healing journey is unique. Please consult an appropriate licensed professional regarding your individual health, medical, or mental health needs.

Information

  • Creator
    Paula Walters
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    32
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 The Courageous Journey
  • Show Website
    The Courageous Journey