Rooted Source Podcast

Ionsul Ferrin

Ponderings on the intersection of trauma healing, shifting consciousness, and moving to global coherence. rootedsource.substack.com

Episodes

  1. 2h ago

    Ep7: Embodied Emotions are Embodied Power

    When someone asks you how you are, what do you typically say as the default? “Fine.” “Good.” “Busy.” Maybe, on a hard day, “Okay.” But how much is actually happening inside of you at any given moment? What’s happening right now, as you’re listening to this? Is there tightness in your shoulders? A subtle knot of tension in your gut? A low hum of sadness you haven’t had time to look at? Maybe even a little spark of hope about something? We’re all feeling so much at any given moment, and yet western culture doesn’t generally leave room for discussing our feelings beyond: fine. “I’m fine. Nothing to see here folks. Let’s just all keep pretending that everything is fine, even when my inner world is like an emotional dumpster fire.” And we’re trained to be this way. In the Social Health nonprofit I facilitate for, called SeekHealing, we talk a lot about how “positive” emotions are the only ones that are generally accepted in most social spaces. We are trained from a very young age to ignore what we’re actually feeling and keep a metaphorical mask on at all times. And I believe this is on purpose. I’ve come to believe that training the majority of us to disown and flatten our emotions is a control tactic. Somewhere along the lines, those who wanted to amass power realized that if they turned people against the very thing that made them human — their own emotions — they were much more easy to manipulate and turn against each other. I was just listening to Jefferson Fisher, a communication expert, being interviewed on Diary of a CEO podcast. He was explaining why mastering communication is the #1 skill set for creating success in all areas of your life. Which I completely agree with. And when the interviewer asked him what is the main way most people fail at effective communication, he summed it up in 4 words: “lack of emotional awareness.” He explained that without having emotional literacy and self-control, we are subject to being dragged around by our most base impulses — usually in ways that don’t ultimately serve us. You may have heard the famous quote by Viktor Frankl: “Between stimulus and response there is space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” What Fisher was pointing to in that interview moment is that most people don’t leave a space between stimulus and response. We tend to just react. And not just in moments of conflict, but I would say 24/7/365. I can’t tell you the number of people I’ve worked with in SeekHealing, and in my own NIASZIIH healing practice, who literally walk around with a nervous system that’s permanently on high alert. And when you’re already primed to snap, of course it’s hard to carve out a space for greater choice and empowerment. And, again, this isn’t just in regards to interpersonal interactions. Our emotional awareness, or lack thereof, is what literally creates everything in our lives. We’ve all heard by now that we create our own reality. And one way we do that is through our emotional patterns of addiction. And, yes, we do all suffer from emotional addictions. You’ve probably heard that “neurons that fire together, wire together.” Every time you feel and react a certain way, that particular pathway in your brain gets a little stronger, like a trail through the woods that gets clearer every time you walk it. Eventually, that trail becomes the path of least resistance. On top of that, the brain loves predictability. It likes to assume it knows what’s going to happen next, not only to save mental energy, but also in the pursuit of self-protection. So even when an old emotional pattern is painful, and it could be excruciating, your brain prefers it simply for the fact that it’s familiar. And your nervous system agrees that familiar feels safe. That familiarity and sense of safety is then reinforced by relief, because at least you know what’s going to happen next. You’re going to be rejected, you’re going to fail, you’re going to have to suffer in that old familiar way again. Which may or may not be actually true. But we tend to make it true through the power of our belief and expectation. So when you shut down, people-please, or pull away from someone, you get a quick hit of relief from the discomfort, and that relief teaches your brain to do it again next time. That’s the same kind of learning loop that drives all our unconscious habits. So it’s not that you’re weak or broken. Your brain is doing exactly what it was designed to do, which is conserve energy and keep you safe. The trouble is that what kept us safe as small, defenseless children, is often what’s killing us as adults. The isolation that used to keep you out of the way of abuse as a child is now keeping you desperately lonely as an adult. The anger that meant people didn’t f**k with you as a kid is now keeping everyone at arm’s length. So much of the neural pathways we laid in old circumstances don’t fit the updated models of what’s present and available. And when we keep creating from those old stories, we suffer. The good news is, though, that the same process works in reverse. Every time you choose a new response, you’re clearing a new trail. Even it feels brutally awkward and uncomfortable. At first the new pathway is overgrown and hard to walk. But with practice, it becomes the new path towards what you’re actually wanting to create. So, in this episode, we’re going bushwack some new trails together. Welcome back to the Rooted Source Podcast. I’m ionsul ferrin, your pleasure-positive resident mystic, and if you’re new here, this podcast is for empaths and intuitives who are ready to embrace all their sensitivity, and embody it as their greatest super power and gift to the world. I’m gonna be honest, today’s episode is a big one. It’s really the core and foundation of everything. When I started my NIASZIIH training 7 years ago, I had no idea how much of my own sensitivity I had shut down because of chronic emotional overwhelm. And that’s not uncommon. The entire first year of my training was primarily dedicated to simultaneously waking that sensitivity back up, and also learning how to manage it. We can only get into so much in one podcast episode, so today I’m going to cover with you: Why emotional awareness is a skill you can and must learn. And how to use this knowledge for your own benefit, and create the life you really want to be living. You in? Cool. Let’s start with something that would have been WAY more worthwhile to learn in school than algebraic equations. That’s Emotional Literacy. Emotional Literacy Is Self-Empowerment I want to start with a concept that was instilled in me as part of my NIASZIIH healing training. That’s: Awareness creates choice, and choice creates freedom. Come to think of it, it’s really kind of another way of stating the Viktor Frankl quote. I love it when different wisdom streams affirm each other, don’t you? Anyway, to unpack the concept, let’s come at it from the opposite direction. Because when you’re not really aware of what you’re feeling, the feeling runs you. It shows up as things like snapping at your partner, impulsively reaching for your phone when you don’t really need to, or lying awake with racing thoughts at 2 a.m. Pretty much all of us are chronically reacting, often without even knowing what we’re reacting to. But, again, it’s not our fault! Lack of emotional awareness is literally trained into us in this culture. Boys don’t cry. Girls aren’t aggressive. Real men tough it out. A feminine woman isn’t demanding. There are practically millions of subtle messages we get from day one that say, “Your emotions are not valid. They are dangerous. They are something to contain, minimize, and ignore if you can. And anything else is a sign of your personal dysfunction.” It’s really no wonder at all that we have such systemic mental health crises in modern culture. How can we effectively work with what we’re feeling if we’re chronically trained to suppress it, even from our own awareness? The good news here is that emotional awareness is recoverable. It is a skillset that almost anyone can learn. The potentially bad news, depending on how you look at it, is that, like acquiring any new skill, it takes dedicated personal effort. It’s not a pill you can take. And it’s not a change that comes from simple intellectual understanding. You have to make the conscious effort to DO things differently. And, honestly, this is why most people fail at it. Along with disowning our emotions, we’ve been so trained to give our authority away. To expect quick fixes. And especially to see ourselves as passive victims with no real agency. However, for the rare few who are eager and willing to do the work, there is so much reward on the other side. I call awareness and the ability to choose our state “Sovereignty.” It’s the opposite of a victim mentality. It’s being in ownership of your inner world, instead of feeling pushed around by it. And this is especially important for those of us who tend to pick up on energies and information that most people miss. Why This Matters More for Sensitive People If you’re an empath or intuitive, emotional awareness matters even more, because you’re not only feeling your own emotions — you’re likely picking up on everyone else’s too. So if you don’t have a clear picture of what’s happening inside you, if you can’t tell where your emotions end and other people’s begin, it all blurs together in one big wave of chronic overwhelm. I know many of you can relate. And having a vocabulary to describe our inner experience is the first step. Because when we’re able to cognitively label an experience, we instantly become much more aware of its presence and nuance. Let me give you an example. There are cult

    Ep7: Embodied Emotions are Embodied Power
  2. Sep 20

    Ep6: What Is Energy, Anyway?

    Have you ever walked into a room and just... felt something? Like tension in the air? Or maybe a heaviness you couldn’t logically explain? Have you ever felt someone staring at you? Or sensed someone’s presence before you turned around and saw them standing there? Or have you ever had the experience where you met someone new and your whole body just said no. Or, conversely, met someone and immediately “liked their energy”? In modern culture, we use the term “energy,” particularly in regards to “energy healing,” as a catch-all term to refer to any non-visible phenomenon that we can sense, but not see or measure. In my NIASZIIH healing training, we learn that energy, or force, is just one aspect of the non-visible realities happening in and around us at all times. Energy is part of the physical / primal aspect of being. But there’s also the spiritual / relational, void / potential, personal vision, and Creator’s Vision. Without taking the extensive time it takes to explain all of that, suffice it to say that to call NIASZIIH an “energy work” modality is dramatically insufficient. Nevertheless, when I tell people what a session looks like, they almost always go, “Oh, like Reiki”? And I don’t fault them for it. Reiki is certainly the most well-known of the so-called energy work modalities. And I have received some extremely powerful Reiki healing sessions myself. But even though NIASZIIH may look similar in practice, the 7 year training it takes to be a NIASZIIH healer is vastly different than the weekend workshops that someone might take to call themselves a Reiki master. That’s one of the reasons I’ve been so curious throughout the course of my schooling to better understand what “energy” really is, and how it plays into healing. So in this episode, I’m going to address a question that I had for a long time: What is energy, actually? Is it real? Is it measurable? And if it is — what does that mean for those of us who feel like we’re picking up on it constantly? Hey there, I’m Ionsul Ferrin, and if this is your first time here, these are conversations that live at the intersection of healing, embodiment, and ancestral knowing. It’s particularly for the empaths and intuitives who know in their bones that there is so much more to reality than what we can see with the naked eye. Today’s episode is the first in a series, and it’s foundational, because before we can talk about mastering our energetic sovereignty — which is where we’re headed here — we first have to know: what are we even talking about when we say “energy”? Again, in terms of energy healing, most people think of Reiki first, because it’s relatively widespread these days. But acupuncture is also technically a form of energy work. Cranio-sacral is another kind you may have heard of. Reflexology, Pranic Healing, Theta Healing, Qigong — the list of energy-based modalities is extensive! And even though ancestral ways of knowing have almost always incorporated the non-visible aspects of who we are, it’s obviously something that’s still fighting for validation in mainstream scientific materialism. Granted, these modalities are rapidly getting more widely accepted, especially with podcasts like The Telepathy Tapes and Phenomenon taking the research seriously. But let’s be honest. Most people roll their eyes when they hear about “energy work.” And I get it. I used to be skeptical myself. Like so many people, it took a personal experience to change my mind. I was 21 when I had my first experience with Reiki and it was very convincing to me. I had just had my wisdom teeth out and a friend invited me to a Reiki circle he was holding. As people worked on me, I could feel things moving and especially feel a comforting heat where my teeth had been removed. The following week, I went back to the dentist for a check up and he was visibly shocked when he looked in my mouth. He literally had to double check my records because he couldn’t believe that the extraction sites were only a week old. He said he had never seen anyone heal so quickly. That made me convinced that the Reiki had significantly sped up my healing process. Jump to 13 years later when I found NIASZIIH, and I can honestly tell you that nothing — and I mean absolutely nothing — healed my mental health struggles 1/10th as effectively. I had tried nearly everything you can think of, from meditation to psychedelics to talk therapy, in an effort to overcome my chronic depression and anxiety, but nothing was all that effective. Until I started receiving and learning NIASZIIH myself, and it completely changed my life from the inside out. And, again, because the worlds we’re working with in NIASZIIH are mainly non-visible, it got me seriously curious about how this actually works. How does energy impact our ability to heal? So today, we’re going to look at this from a few different angles — including culture, science, and lived experience — and by the end, I’m hoping you might have a new framework for understanding these ancient ways of healing that are being given a new, modern language. Let’s start with the word itself. Naming the Thing We Can’t See In the modern English dictionary, there are 9 definitions under “energy,” some of which include: * the capacity for vigorous activity; available power * potency, force, vigor * the capacity to do work Obviously, these don’t fully cover what we mean when we use the word in terms of energy as it relates to extrasensory perception and various healing modalities, but they do give us an interesting place to start. What stands out to me is that phrase in the first definition: available power. In my experience with NIASZIIH and seeing people heal from conditions and diseases that were deemed incurable by modern medicine, I see a clear correlation between someone’s access to their personal power — or sense of empowerment, if you like — and their ability to create miraculous healing results for themselves. Yet almost no one seems to think of it that way. I’m laying a seed here for a future episode, but for now, let’s go back to the way the term “energy” is colloquially used in regards to healing. For our context today, I’m going to define energy as: invisible forces that affect physical reality, yet that do not have clearly measurable mechanisms of delivery. I’ll say that again… Energy — particularly in regards to psi-abilities, including energy healing — refers to that which transforms physical reality, but that we don’t have a material explanation for how it works. It frankly reminds me of Aleister Crowley’s definition of magick, which is “the art and science of causing change to occur in conformity with the will.” In his book Real Magic, researcher Dean Radin uses the terms magic and psi phenomena interchangeably. He uses both terms to refer to the non-visible, intentional influencing of events and people; as well as the ability to intuitively gather information that lies beyond the physical senses. So — energy healing, magic, psi phenomenon — these are all slightly different ways of talking about the fact that we can, indeed, influence material reality with immaterial things like consciousness and intention. Many of us already understand that we are always influencing our reality with non-visible things like thoughts and emotions, and that these might be carriers of energy. Wit that understanding, we could also deduce that energetic health — or the opposite of energetic dysfunction — is something we are actually co-creating with reality all the time, whether we’re consciously aware of it or not. And let’s be real, for most people, there is little to no conscious awareness about how we’re doing this. But it’s so important that we learn. Especially for intuitive empaths that might often feel victimized by the overwhelm of energetic information coming at them all the time. Like I pointed to at the beginning of this episode — I’d bet almost everyone listening has already experienced “energy,” even if they didn’t call it that. Think about walking into a room where a couple just had a huge fight. Nobody might say a word to you, but you can feel it the second you walk through the door. Or think about a friend who walks into a party and the whole room seems to brighten — versus someone else who walks in and the temperature seems to drop. Or there’s that gut-level, pit-of-your-stomach no to a decision that you can’t quite back up with logic in the moment, but that ultimately turns out to have been the right choice. You don’t have to believe in anything mystical to have experienced something like this. You’ve likely been reading energy your whole life, even if you didn’t have the conceptual framework to fit it in. So the question isn’t whether it’s real. The question is what’s actually happening when we notice these things. To answer that, let’s start by looking at some of what material science can — and can’t — tell us. What the Science Says I want to be careful in this section, because this is exactly where a lot of assumptions and overpromises have been made in the past. So let’s slow down and be precise about what’s established, what’s emerging, and what’s genuinely unknown. * The Double-Slit Experiment If you’ve dabbled in quantum physics, you’ve probably heard of this one. In simplified terms: when photons are fired through two slits and not observed by anyone, they behave like a wave of probabilities, creating an interference pattern. But when they are observed — when a measurement is taken — they behave like individual particles instead. This is what’s often cited to support the notion that the presence of an observer changes the outcome — a.k.a: We create our reality through the influence of conscious observation. Now, I want to be honest with you, physicists debate

    Ep6: What Is Energy, Anyway?
  3. Feb 6

    Because the Ancestors Said So

    Hello and welcome to the Rooted Source podcast.My name is Ionsul Ferrin, and I’m speaking to you from the unceded ancestral lands of the Eastern Band of Cherokee Indians. In this inaugural episode, I wanted to introduce myself and where I’m coming from, as well as my big why for starting this podcast. Please keep in mind that this podcast is not a substitute for professional care of any kind, and any spiritual experiences I describe are my own personal stories, and not intended to suggest what anyone else’s path should look like. I also want to warn you that this episode includes some discussion about medical discrimination and violence, so please listen at the pace that feels right for you. So, let’s dive in. First thing I want to disclose here is that I’ve had a pretty good amount of imposter syndrome that’s come up around starting this podcast, mainly because I don’t come from an ethnic background that’s directly connected to ancient healing pathways. I was raised white, middle class, and somewhat agnostic, somewhat Christian in the suburbs of northern VA. But I’ve always felt a strong connection to my Celtic Pagan ancestry that was indigenous to Northern Europe long before Roman Catholic colonization. So even though I grew up in a middle class, white suburban neighborhood, and even though I was conditioned in that environment to have a pretty strictly materialist perspective, I’ve always had an innately spiritual curiosity. I was / am an HSP, or highly sensitive person, and had a lot of philosophical quandaries from a young age. I remember wondering, by the time I was old enough to realize how messed up the world is – “Why is the world like this? How did it get this way?” and, “What can we do to fix things?” In a very real way, these are still the big motivating questions of my life. And I feel like I do have some answers. When I cross-reference history, sociology, and psychology – which are all related – it seems pretty clear what the answer is. Generational trauma. That’s why the systems are so messed up. That’s why there’s so much suffering on a personal and collective level. Hurt people hurt people. And after 6,000 years (at least) of increasing war, violence, and extraction, we’re reaching a tipping point. We have to heal – as individual people, and as a unified people – if we’re not going to burn out all our systems and self-implode. In a future episode, I look forward to nerding out on some of the theories that exist about what started the cycles of trauma 6,000 years ago. But for the most part I think it’s much more important that we talk about solutions. That’s what this podcast aims to address. But I’m coming at it from a pretty subversive angle. One consequence of having parents who suffered with acute mental health conditions throughout my childhood was that I never really trusted authority. Because I had to rely on my own discernment from a young age, I’ve tended to naturally reject systems that rely on power hierarchies and strict adherence to tradition. In other words, I’ve explored many “alternative” modalities and practices throughout my life. After I became a single mother 10 years ago, I especially got serious about my own healing journey. It wasn’t just about me anymore. It was about my kids’ future as well. They were 3 and 6 at the time, and had already lived through far too much with all the drama of their dad having substance use disorder, and me being his codependent enabler. So I had to take a sober look at myself and realize that it was my responsibility to transform my unhealthy patterns and low self-worth that had led me to such a dysfunctional relationship in the first place. By that time I was already living in Asheville, where I still am currently, and luckily there’s a smorgasbord of alternative modalities on offer here. So I tried all kinds of things – women’s retreats, breathwork, yoga, psychedelics, life coaching, even talk therapy – which honestly, I found the most disappointing of all at the time. But still, I couldn’t seem to find lasting solutions to my chronic anxiety, depression, and low self-worth. Eventually, in the midst of all this seeking, I was at a potluck with friends, when a sister friend of mine (shout out to ML!) started telling me about this amazing shamanic healing school she was attending. Like me, she had tried basically countless modalities over many years, and she was very excited and enthusiastic in telling me that this school, called wildernessFusion, was the “real deal.” She told me that people who attend the school, or see the healers trained there, often have truly miraculous results. One of the women in her class was in Hospice, literally dying from heart failure, when she started seeing NIASZIIH practitioners (NIASZIIH is the modality taught at wildernessFusion). She had such a dramatic turn around that she not only came out of Hospice – she started working again! Another woman in her class had been diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and went into full remission after attending clinics at the school. And a third was going blind from Graves Disease. The doctors told her there was nothing they could do, that she would have to adjust to living without sight for the rest of her life. She started seeing NIASZIIH practitioners and fully got her sight back. Obviously, I was intrigued. So I went to a free intro class and was immediately hooked. I signed up then and there and have attended the school ever since. I’m currently in year 6 of the 7 year program, and I’ve already completed the 3 year bodywork training. I can affirm, just like ML said, it truly is the most real, effective thing I’ve ever done. I count it as the reason I have the courage and self-worth to even start this podcast in the first place. Now, I want to just pause and say that, even after years at wildernessFusion, I wrestle with using the word “shamanic.” It’s a term that was coined by a white guy, and it’s often used as a Western umbrella term that unfairly flattens many distinct traditions. But just like all words are symbols for more complex ideas, “shamanic” is simply the best word I know of in English to denote healing modalities that bridge physical and non-physical dimensions. If you know of a better term, please leave it in the comments! I also just want to be clear here that while the wildernessFusion curriculum is based in Lipan Apache philosophy and spirituality, I am not by any means claiming to be an authority on that – or any other – indigenous tradition. I am not speaking on behalf of cultures or lineages that are not mine. In wildernessFusion, we don’t engage in any specific cultural practices that people often think of related to the term “shamanic” – things like drumming, chanting, or taking psychedelic medicine. Those are beautiful and valuable practices. They’re just not ones that we engage in. Honestly, what classtime mainly looks like is uncovering the hardest and most painful parts of ourselves so that we can stay in contact with our authenticity, with the Earth, and with each other. NIASZIIH – again, the name of the healing approach taught at wildernessFusion – is an Apache word that means “Place or Vessel of Healing.” And, in a way, to call it a “modality” is even kind of a misnomer. Because it’s really more about a consciousness shift, about embodying a state of being, than it is about learning a set of distinct practices. It’s something I’m really passionate about, so I’ve offered NIASZIIH healing sessions professionally for years now. But it’s been challenging to make a living at it for a number of reasons. For one thing, if you throw a stone in Asheville, you’ll likely hit an alternative healer of some sort. There are so many amazing healers here, so there’s a good amount of competition. I also can’t stand marketing and self-promotion, which are kind of essential if you’re going to make it as a solopreneur. Plus, almost no one has heard of NIASZIIH, and most people won’t pay for something they haven’t even heard of and don’t understand. So, in order to create more financial stability for myself and my kids, I started grad school for mental health counseling last year. My goal is to do a version of NIASZIIH that fits with counseling, and be able to take insurance, particularly so I can see people from underserved communities. Admittedly, before I started grad school, I was pretty skeptical that I would like it. For so long, I was resistant to becoming part of an industry that has some pretty dubious origins (which is something we’ll get into in a future episode). Plus, as I mentioned earlier, I’ve had my own disappointing experiences with talk therapy. But I’m grateful and relieved to report that I’ve been very pleasantly surprised by my experience in grad school so far. My professors have been humble and wonderful, and I’m finding it’s actually quite fun to study a topic I’m passionate about alongside other people who are nerds about the same things. I also started seeing a talk therapist that I really enjoy, and who feels like a great compliment and support to the inner work I’m doing through wildernessFusion. Nonetheless, I still see that both conventional talk therapy and allopathic medicine practices are often inadequate to helping people meaningfully transform suffering. Practitioners of both are mainly taught to treat symptoms, rather than the root causes of dis-ease, and so long-term results are often disappointing. To explain a bit more, let me give some historical context. The reality is that modern mental health and allopathic medicine industries, such as we know them today, developed amidst colonialist, capitalist mindsets. And medicalized frameworks were often used to justify oppression. I’ll give just a couple of examples. Did you know that in the 1800’s America, enslaved

    Because the Ancestors Said So

About

Ponderings on the intersection of trauma healing, shifting consciousness, and moving to global coherence. rootedsource.substack.com