If I Were the Devil: The War On Love Podcast

Danielle Lew, Jesus-lover, Wife, Mom, Therapist, Relationship Coach
  • 5.0 (3)
  • Christianity

You know what God's Word says about you - but somewhere between your head and your heart, something gets lost. Welcome to If I Were the Devil: The War on Love — a podcast for Christian men and women navigating the real, often messy intersection of faith, inner healing, and relationships. Whether you're carrying wounds from relationship betrayal, battling shame and lies about yourself, or simply wondering why knowing the truth still doesn't make you feel free - you're in the right place. And you're not crazy for feeling that gap. There's actually a reason for it. I'm Danielle (I go by Dani) Lew therapist, certified professional coach, and someone who knows this territory from the inside. I met Jesus at 19, fell in love with Him and His love for me as a Father, Savior, God, and Friend. And yet, I still spent years struggling to break free from addictions and step fully into the Identity He called me into!  What I didn't know was the integration between body, mind, and spiritual health and all are important! I didn't learn that at home, in church, or even in Graduate School! Though personal growth and pursuit of that my mind and nervous system needed to actually heal, not just learn more Scripture. That discovery changed everything. Today, after more than 20 years of sobriety and every form of healing I could get my hands on, I walk daily in genuine freedom — from anxiety, from shame, from waiting for the other shoe to drop — and I actually know and believe I am loved and safe with God. That freedom is available to you too. And this podcast exists to show you the way there. Each episode brings together neuroscience, Scripture, and hard-won personal experience to help you heal the wounds that keep you stuck — in your relationship with God, with yourself, and with the people you love most. We cover Christian inner healing, attachment wounds, nervous system healing, forgiveness, spiritual warfare, and the very real war the enemy wages on your ability to love and be loved. No spiritual bypassing. No easy answers. Just truth, tools, and someone who has walked this road walking it with you. 👉 Start with Episode 1 — the topics build on each other, and this journey is better from the beginning. Want to reach out? Send me an email to hello@rootedrefinedandrestored.com

  1. Sep 15

    END OF SEASON 1: God Still Speaks & He Delights in You

    Is God Still Speaking to You? A Season Finale on Rest, Busyness, and Hearing His Voice After 50 episodes, I'm closing out this season of If I Were the Devil: The War on Love. In this finale, I get personal about why: I'm starting a discipleship program at my church this week, and I'm choosing rest over burnout as I head into a season two and continue a rebrand. In this episode, I ask a question I think every listener needs to sit with: do you believe God is still talking to you? If you're hungry for Him, I believe you already know the answer, but there are real things that get in the way of hearing Him clearly. I read a piece I received as a forward back in the '90s, "The Devil's Convention," which imagines Satan's strategy for keeping Christians too busy and distracted to develop a real relationship with Jesus. Decades later, its warning about noise, overstimulation, and busyness feels more relevant than ever. I also share a personal story about finding a card with Zephaniah 3:17 while cleaning up after a church event, only to hear my pastor reference that exact verse the next day, and to find it again the following morning in my devotional. It's one of those moments that could easily be chalked up to coincidence, but I don't believe it is. I close the episode, and the season, in prayer for anyone struggling to hear from God, especially those carrying trauma that makes the "still small voice" hard to hear. In this episode: Why I'm closing out season one after 50 episodes The connection between this podcast and my church's discipleship program "The Devil's Convention": a 1990s forward on busyness and spiritual distraction A true story of hearing God through Zephaniah 3:17, three times in 24 hours Why I'm choosing rest instead of burnout before starting season two A closing prayer for anyone who feels distant from God Scriptures referenced: Mark 12:30-31 Zephaniah 3:17 1 Peter 5:7 Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy, counseling, medical advice, or pastoral care. The content shared reflects personal experiences, opinions, and faith perspectives, and should not be used to diagnose or treat any mental health condition. If you are struggling or in crisis, please reach out to a licensed professional or a trusted member of your community. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client or coaching relationship. About Danielle Lew and Rooted, Refined & Restored, LLC: Danielle Lew is the founder of Rooted, Refined & Restored, LLC, where she and her team bring lived experience alongside APSATS-certified, trauma-informed professional coach training and a master's-level clinical background to guide men, women, and couples through the wreckage of intimate betrayal. The team offers a clear roadmap and faith-rooted, trauma-informed support, meeting clients exactly where they are, no matter what the future of their relationship holds, so that what the enemy meant for their destruction, God uses to bring beauty for ashes. Learn more at www.rootedrefinedandrestored.com. Danielle also operates a therapy practice in Pennsylvania, Trinity Wellness Group. Learn more at www.trinitywellnessgroup.com where she offers therapy intensives for clients who want to do deep healing work from trauma, while integrating Biblical Truths into the work!

  2. Sep 8

    Good Grief: Or Shame

    Good Grief: Or Shame  Episode Summary This Labor Day episode takes the "If I Were the Devil" framework and applies it to grief. Danielle unpacks how the enemy waits for a grieving heart to be distracted and vulnerable, then uses the shoulda-coulda-woulda thinking of grief to plant shame, self-blame, and bitterness. She walks through the six stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and meaning, added later by David Kessler) and shows how each one can become an entry point for shame if it goes unnamed. Danielle is candid that grief is not sinful, that it is not linear, and that healing requires naming what is grief, what is fear, and what is shame so they can be untangled rather than left in a tangled knot. Key Points Covered The enemy's strategy: catching grieving hearts while they are distracted, since early grief is when God feels closest. Grief is any experience of loss, not only death. Loss of safety, a dream, or a relationship all count. The six stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and meaning. These are not linear; Danielle describes them as a tangled ball of yarn rather than a checklist. Bargaining and the shoulda-coulda-woulda spiral is where shame most often takes root, as the brain searches for a reason and lands on self-blame. Genesis 3 and the pattern of blame-shifting between Adam and Eve, and the call to own only what is truly ours. Grieving someone who has not died: estranged parents, a loved one in active addiction, or a relationship that has been cut off. Anger as a bodyguard emotion that protects more vulnerable pain underneath, and the idea that depression can be anger turned inward. Why unprocessed grief blocks forgiveness, and why the first question is often "have you grieved?" "Name it to tame it, feel it to heal it" as a practical approach to untangling grief, fear, and shame. Scripture Referenced Deuteronomy 6:5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, and might. Mark 12:30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Genesis 3:16-19 The ground was cursed, and grief entered the human story. Genesis 6:6 The Lord regretted making man and was grieved in his heart. Psalm 73:21 When my heart was grieved and my spirit embittered. Ephesians 4:30 Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God. Mark 3:5 Jesus looked with anger and was grieved at their hardness of heart. John 11:35 Jesus wept. Psalm 30:5 Weeping may last for the night, but joy comes in the morning. Isaiah 53:3 A man of sorrows and acquainted with grief. 1 Corinthians 15:52-57 Death is swallowed up in victory. A Note From Danielle If you have been shaming yourself for still grieving, or believing the lie that you should be over it by now, this episode is for you. Grief is not a sign of weak faith. It is part of how God designed the human heart to process loss in a broken world, and He grieves alongside us. Disclaimer This podcast is for informational and educational purposes only. It does not constitute professional therapeutic, medical, or legal advice, and listening does not create a professional or therapeutic relationship. If you are struggling with grief, trauma, or betrayal, please seek support from a licensed professional in your area. Connect rootedrefinedrestored.com  |  hello@rootedrefinedandrestored.com

  3. Sep 1

    Shame: Back to School Edition

    Happy Monday, friends! I thought I had wrapped up my series on shame — and then this week happened. Between a practicum on family-of-origin patterns, several sessions where school-based shame emerged, cheering on a friend's daughter at a high school Volleyball game (yes, actually the very same gym where my daughter had to navigate terrible bullying and shame-inducing experiences with a Coach who gave off all the "you are a very bad girl and you need to know it" vibes, singling her out and then the gaslighting that followed when confronted about it! Thankfully she is no longer there, but too little too late for us!) ,and leading my men's Breaking Free From Shame group through a session on school-based shame, the theme showed up everywhere I turned. So here we are: one more episode, because I couldn't ignore the nudge. In this episode of If I Were the Devil, I read a lengthy modern-day "Screwtape" reflection on how the enemy uses the school system — budget cuts, cell phones, sports, body image, academic pressure, and parental wounds — to plant the earliest seeds of shame in kids. I share personal stories, including a coaching experience that derailed my son's high school years, and I break down the four (really eight) core needs every child is born needing: value and significance, connection and belonging, attachment, and safety and security. We also walk through the developmental stages where shame tends to take root — ages 5-10, middle school, high school, and beyond — and the core beliefs kids often walk away with: I don't belong. I'm not smart enough. There's something wrong with me. I'll never measure up. I'm not worth including. If you're a parent, a former kid who survived the lunchroom (weren't we all), or someone still carrying a core belief that got embedded in a classroom decades ago, this episode is for you. What You'll Hear In This Episode How shame patterns around "school" showed up across clients, my location on Monday, and a men's group study all in the same week & the reason for this episode- Ok, God, I hear you! 3 The full "If I Were the Devil" reading on how the enemy works through the school system The difference between shame and conviction — and why conviction is actually a gift A personal story about noticing my daughter's grades becoming tied to her worth, and how I gently interrupted it Two coaching experiences that became entry points for shame for my own kids The core needs every child is born with: value/significance, connection/belonging, attachment, and safety/security How shame develops differently at ages 5-10, middle school, high school, and beyond Common core beliefs formed in the classroom — and how to start unpartnering from them as adults Two scriptures to stand on: 1 Samuel 16:7 and Luke 12:6-7 Scriptures Referenced 1 Samuel 16:7 — "The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." Luke 12:6-7 — "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God... You are worth more than many sparrows." A Note Before You Listen This episode isn't about shaming parents or anyone who is seeking to show up and become the best we can be by naming where we might be and do better — myself included. If something in this episode stings a little, that's often conviction, not shame, and conviction is an invitation to give it to Him, ask for His help, and then turn it around, not a verdict on your worth!  Disclaimer This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy, counseling, medical advice, or pastoral care. The content shared reflects personal experiences, opinions, and faith perspectives, and should not be used to diagnose or treat any mental health condition. If you are struggling or in crisis, please reach out to a licensed professional or a trusted member of your community. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client or coaching relationship. About Danielle Lew and Rooted, Refined & Restored, LLC Danielle Lew is the founder of Rooted, Refined & Restored, LLC, where she and her team bring lived experience alongside APSATS-certified, trauma-informed professional coach training and a master's-level clinical background to guide men, women, and couples through the wreckage of intimate betrayal. The team offers a clear roadmap and faith-rooted, trauma-informed support - meeting clients exactly where they are, no matter what the future of their relationship holds, so that what the enemy meant for their destruction, God uses to bring beauty for ashes. Learn more at www.rootedrefinedandrestored.com. Danielle also operates a therapy practice in Pennsylvania, Trinity Wellness Group. Learn more at www.trinitywellnessgroup.com

  4. Aug 25

    How Shame and Attachment Styles Are Quietly Running Your Relationships (And How to Heal)

    Show Notes: In this episode, I'm wrapping up our series on shame by connecting the dots between shame and attachment theory - because if I were the devil, this is exactly where I'd attack: using our earliest attachment wounds to keep us disconnected from who we are in Christ. I share a personal moment from this past week where an unexpected trigger surfaced old shame messages from childhood, and I walk you through how I processed it in real time. Then we dig into the four attachment styles - secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized (or "anxious-avoidant") - and how each one carries its own specific shame message and relational pattern. You'll learn: Why attachment isn't "just a theory" but functions more like a law — consistent and provable How shame operates as a "block" or "cloak" that keeps us from freedom in Christ The four attachment styles and the core lie each one believes about love and worthiness Why anxious and avoidant attachment styles are so often drawn to each other - and why that creates a painful push-pull cycle How to identify the specific negative core beliefs shame plants in us (e.g., "I am too much," "I am not enough," "I don't belong") Why vulnerability - not perfection - is the antidote to shame How God serves as our secure base, and what it looks like to move from a wounded attachment into an earned secure attachment through Christ and safe community Scriptures referenced: 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 (the full "love chapter") Psalm 62:5-8 If you recognize yourself in any of these patterns, you're not alone - and healing is absolutely possible. Reach out to a trusted counselor, coach, or safe community and take the next step toward freedom. ______________________________ Disclaimer: This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional therapy, counseling, medical advice, or pastoral care. The content shared reflects personal experiences, opinions, and faith perspectives, and should not be used to diagnose or treat any mental health condition. If you are struggling or in crisis, please reach out to a licensed professional or a trusted member of your community. Listening to this podcast does not create a therapist-client or coaching relationship. About Danielle Lew and Rooted, Refined & Restored, LLC Danielle Lew is the founder of Rooted, Refined & Restored, LLC, where she and her team bring lived experience alongside APSATS-certified, trauma-informed professional coach training and decades of experience in the helping profession, to guide men, women, and couples through the wreckage of intimate betrayal. The team offers a clear roadmap and faith-rooted, trauma-informed support - meeting clients exactly where they are, no matter what the future of their relationship holds, so that what the enemy meant for their destruction, God uses to bring beauty for ashes. Danielle also owns and operates a therapy practice in Pennsylvania, Trinity Wellness Group, LLC, offering therapy intensives for deep trauma therapy.  Learn more at www.rootedrefinedandrestored.com.

  5. Aug 18

    Emotional Freeze in Church: Shame, Attachment Wounds & the Comfort Circle Tool Shame Series Part 5

    Last Sunday, I froze. I was supposed to open our church service, and instead I sat there  - racing thoughts, confusion, embarrassment, shame, the urge to run and hide. In this episode, I'm walking you through exactly what happened, how I responded in the moments and days after, and what it revealed about wounds I didn't know were still asking to be healed. We're continuing our series on shame, and I'm adding a fifth entry point I hadn't named before: chronic, unrepented sin. But most of this episode is a real-time, vulnerable "case study" — using my own "check engine light" moment to show you what it looks like to lean into an emotional trigger instead of numbing it, bypassing it, or shaming yourself out of it. I share the 15 things I did in response — from seeking discernment from my pastor, to getting honest with a friend in the lobby, to spending an hour with Jesus in the woods, to reading my husband fifteen pages of raw journal entries. And I open up my journal directly, reading the parts that led me straight into unhealed attachment wounds from being a self-sufficient little girl who learned vulnerability wasn't safe. I also introduce a practical tool you can use on your own or with a safe person: the Comfort Circle (from How We Love) — 12 guiding questions to move from a distressing feeling all the way down to its childhood root, and up to naming what you need right now. In this episode: The fifth entry point of shame: chronic, unrepented sin What really happened when I froze in church — and why my feelings weren't the spiritual warfare 15 things I did to respond to an emotional trigger without spiritual bypassing Reading directly from my journal: attachment wounds, scarcity mindset, and biblical rest The Comfort Circle tool — 12 questions to connect a present trigger to its past root Why "the thing is not the thing," and how to get curious instead of shutting down Mentioned in this episode: How We Love by Milan and Kay Yerkovich (Comfort Circle tool) Overcomers recovery meeting Relational Life Therapy practicum If this episode gave words to something you've experienced but never said out loud — you're not alone, and you're not behind. Healing isn't linear, and neither is recovery. Next week: we bring it full circle and connect attachment wounds directly to shame.

  6. Aug 11

    I was Frozen: A Raw Story of Spiritual Warfare, Attachment Wounds & Speaking Up

    I was Frozen: A Raw Story of Spiritual Warfare, Attachment Wounds & Speaking Up In this episode I'm getting real and a little unfiltered! Over the past 24 to 36 hours I walked through what I can only describe as an emotional storm - one that peeled back layers I thought I had already healed. I'm sharing it with you because I believe vulnerability is where real healing, and real teaching, happens. We're continuing our series on shame, and I'm breaking down how the enemy uses shame, fear, and grief to attack our identity - pulling us away from who we are in Christ. Then I get vulnerable and walk you through a moment at church yesterday where I froze completely... on the exact topic I was there to teach: speaking up. In this episode you'll learn: Why shame targets your identity, not just your behavior - and why that distinction changes everything How comparison and unspoken “shoulds” quietly feed a shame spiral The hidden connection between shame and fear of rejection, abandonment, and being seen How early attachment ruptures plant shame's roots, and why “if it's hysterical, it's historical” What healthy attachment actually looks like when you're triggered — and why isolating never heals it Why capacity, rest, and self-compassion are part of spiritual warfare too Scriptures Referenced: Genesis 3:1, 3:7 Matthew 22:37-38 Psalm 40 (and Psalm 39) Mark 6:31 Romans 8:28 1 Peter 5:8 Revelation 12:11 If you've ever frozen in a moment you were fully prepared for, felt shame hijack your body before your mind could catch up, or found yourself wanting to run and hide instead of lean into connection - this episode is for you. Next week: we go deeper into attachment wounds, and I'll be reading directly from my journal.

  7. Aug 3

    The Four Entry Points of Shame Why the Enemy Targets Your Identity, Not Just Your Behavior

    If I Were the Devil: The War on Love EPISODE SHOW NOTES The Four Entry Points of Shame Why the Enemy Targets Your Identity, Not Just Your Behavior Episode Summary Hey friend, it's Dani. In this episode, I'm picking up right where we left off two weeks ago in our series on shame. If you missed that episode, the short version is this: shame keeps us in hiding. Today I go deeper into what shame actually feels like in the body, where it comes from, and why the enemy targets our identity instead of just our behavior. I read a piece I've held onto for over 20 years called “Please Hear What I'm Not Saying” — a raw, honest look at the masks we wear to keep our true selves hidden. Then I walk through four primary roots of shame I see over and over again in my work with couples navigating betrayal trauma: 1. Early attachment ruptures — being met with contempt, ridicule, or silence instead of comfort 2. Family messages internalized as identity — “you're too much,” “you're a disappointment” 3. Trauma and betrayal — especially intimate betrayal, which collapses both safety and identity at once 4. Fear-based teaching — religious trauma from performance-based faith instead of relationship-based faith I also share a little of my own story with addiction recovery and how shame showed up as “the enemy with a carrot on a stick” — followed by the beating I gave myself once I took the bait. What We Cover ● Why shame's real target is your identity, not just your behavior (the military “center of gravity” principle) ● Genesis 3 and Matthew 4:3 — how “did God really say?” and “if you are the Son of God” reveal the enemy's actual strategy ● What shame physically feels like: flushed face, tightened chest, the urge to disappear ● Why shame makes us hide the very parts of us that most need to be seen and known ● A reading of “Please Hear What I'm Not Saying,” a piece from the recovery community on the masks we wear ● The four root sources of shame, with real examples from my clinical and coaching work ● Why betrayal trauma is uniquely devastating — you lose both safety and the person who would normally provide it ● A preview of an upcoming series on epigenetics, generational curses, and the book It Didn't Start With You A Verse to Sit With Revelation 12:10 reminds us who the accuser really is — and it isn't God. If the inner voice you're hearing sounds like condemnation, that's a clue about its source. Scripture Referenced ● Matthew 22:37–39 (the Greatest Commandment) ● Genesis 3 ● Matthew 4:3 ● Revelation 12:10 Book Mentioned It Didn't Start With You by Mark Wolynn — a secular, science-based look at epigenetics that Dani connects to the biblical concept of generational curses and blessings. A Note If This Resonated If any part of this episode struck a nerve, that's worth paying attention to, not running from. Get curious about where your own shame took root. Consider a recovery community like Celebrate Recovery, Overcomers Outreach, or Regeneration, or working with a trauma-informed, biblically rooted therapist or coach. You don't have to untangle this alone — and you were never meant to. Connect Learn more about betrayal trauma recovery and Dani's work at www.rootedrefinedandrestored.com Danielle Lew. 2026. All Rights Reserved.

  8. Jul 22

    Shame Keeps Us In Hiding

    War on Love Podcast — Show Notes Shame: The Enemy's Favorite Weapon (Series Premiere) Recorded: Tuesday, July 21 I know, I know. It's not Monday. And honestly, that's kind of the point of this whole episode. I want to take you through my day yesterday, because this is real-life spiritual warfare, and it doesn't always look like how we think it's going to look. This is the start of a series I've been sitting on for a while, on shame, because I don't think it gets talked about nearly enough in our churches. Shame has been present since Genesis, and it is still one of the biggest things I see keeping people (including me) stuck. Here's what actually happened yesterday morning. I needed to leave the house by 6am to take my son Kyle to his freshman orientation, about two and a half hours away. I hadn't recorded this episode yet, which I'd committed to doing on Mondays. So I woke up around 2 or 3am with racing thoughts, the kind of anxiety that hits you in that liminal space between sleep and being fully awake, when your logical brain hasn't caught up yet. And my mind just kept rolling. First it was, "I have so much to do, maybe Derek should take Kyle instead." Then I caught myself and remembered my own values: God first, family second, I show up for my kids. So I let that go. But then the fear hit again: if I go with Kyle, I won't get the podcast done. Then comparison: there are podcasters so much better than me who have it together. Then hopelessness: why even do this podcast at all. And then it went somewhere deeper. A thought landed on who Derek and I even are to be coaching other couples through emotional intimacy, when we're still working through our own. I recognized what that was. Fear. Shame. Comparison. Doubt. All of it pulling me straight out of my value system, none of it from the Lord. So I got up, sat down with my journal and my Word, and spent the next three hours right there with the Lord before Kyle and I ever left the house. That's actually where this episode came from. What I Want You to Know About Shame Hate isn't the opposite of love. Fear is. And shame produces fear, which produces more shame. It's a cycle, and it interrupts our ability to love God, love ourselves, and love other people. I've come to believe that all forms of addiction, whether it's alcohol, workaholism, striving, comparison, are illegitimate ways of meeting legitimate needs. Shame is what drives us there. As a trauma therapist, I'll tell you honestly: a lot of the diagnoses I see (depression, social anxiety, addiction) have shame sitting underneath them. Deal with the shame, and sometimes the symptom picture changes entirely. I keep coming back to Genesis 3 on this. Genesis 2:25 says Adam and Eve were naked and unashamed. Then the fall happens, and by Genesis 3:7 they're sewing fig leaves together to cover themselves. That's the original mask. That's still what we're doing today, just with better fabric. The antidote to shame isn't more hiding. It's vulnerability. It's coming out of it. That's part of why I'm telling you all this before I'd even told my own husband. I didn't share my wrestle with Derek until last night. The enemy loves to point out that inconsistency, that I coach people on intimacy while still working through my own instinct toward self-sufficiency. And I want you to know I'm not pretending to have arrived. None of us do. That's the whole point. Shame Indicator Checklist I read this list on the episode because most people who carry shame don't actually recognize it as shame. Go through it slowly. See what lands. I feel bad for having needs I'm sensitive and easily hurt or offended I have a hard time accepting compliments I feel lonely and unable to relate or connect with others I see myself as less than others, or insignificant I struggle to see my worth and feel unlovable I get easily embarrassed I have a high need for praise I struggle with making mistakes I strive hard to achieve I have a hard time admitting when I'm wrong I get easily angered or sad when given feedback or criticism I justify my choices and behaviors I know something is true in my head, but not in my heart (or believe it for others, but not for myself) I feel undeserving of good things I secretly believe I don't measure up to others I believe I'm not good enough I believe I have very few things to offer I'm self-conscious around other people I'm embarrassed about my feelings and emotions I struggle with self-loathing or often feel victimized I feel the need to wear a mask to hide from others I use self-condemning words out loud or in my mind (like calling myself stupid over a small mistake) I feel numb inside I have a hard time connecting with others I can feel lonely even in a crowded room I feel like no one understands me If you checked several of these, I want to gently say: you need support to work through this. Not shame about having shame, just support. Take it to the Lord. Take it to wise counsel. Naming it is the first step, but insight without action doesn't get you very far. Scripture I Was Led To Matthew 22:37-38 — the greatest commandment Genesis 2:25, 3:1, 3:7, 3:9-10 — nakedness, the serpent, and hiding Isaiah 49:8, 49:23, 50:4 — restoration and freedom for captives Revelation 12:11 — overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of our testimony Proverbs 3:5-6 — trust in the Lord, lean not on your own understanding Matthew 5:13, 16 — salt and light Ephesians 5:8-19 — children of light Romans 8:14-17 — adoption, co-heirs with Christ 2 Corinthians 3:16-18 — unveiled faces, transformation 1 John 1:7 — the verse of the day I stumbled on after I'd already finished writing this episode. I love how the Lord confirms things. Why This Episode Is a Day Late, On Purpose By the time we got home last night, I was exhausted. I sat down to record and realized something: if I just pushed through to get it out on Monday because I said I would, that would've been me operating out of obligation and religion, not obedience. So I waited. I'm not telling you to be irresponsible. I'm telling you that showing up for what the Lord is actually asking of you, even when it doesn't match your own plan, is the whole message of this episode living itself out in real time. This is a series. I've got a lot more angles on shame to bring you. I'll see you next week.

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About

You know what God's Word says about you - but somewhere between your head and your heart, something gets lost. Welcome to If I Were the Devil: The War on Love — a podcast for Christian men and women navigating the real, often messy intersection of faith, inner healing, and relationships. Whether you're carrying wounds from relationship betrayal, battling shame and lies about yourself, or simply wondering why knowing the truth still doesn't make you feel free - you're in the right place. And you're not crazy for feeling that gap. There's actually a reason for it. I'm Danielle (I go by Dani) Lew therapist, certified professional coach, and someone who knows this territory from the inside. I met Jesus at 19, fell in love with Him and His love for me as a Father, Savior, God, and Friend. And yet, I still spent years struggling to break free from addictions and step fully into the Identity He called me into!  What I didn't know was the integration between body, mind, and spiritual health and all are important! I didn't learn that at home, in church, or even in Graduate School! Though personal growth and pursuit of that my mind and nervous system needed to actually heal, not just learn more Scripture. That discovery changed everything. Today, after more than 20 years of sobriety and every form of healing I could get my hands on, I walk daily in genuine freedom — from anxiety, from shame, from waiting for the other shoe to drop — and I actually know and believe I am loved and safe with God. That freedom is available to you too. And this podcast exists to show you the way there. Each episode brings together neuroscience, Scripture, and hard-won personal experience to help you heal the wounds that keep you stuck — in your relationship with God, with yourself, and with the people you love most. We cover Christian inner healing, attachment wounds, nervous system healing, forgiveness, spiritual warfare, and the very real war the enemy wages on your ability to love and be loved. No spiritual bypassing. No easy answers. Just truth, tools, and someone who has walked this road walking it with you. 👉 Start with Episode 1 — the topics build on each other, and this journey is better from the beginning. Want to reach out? Send me an email to hello@rootedrefinedandrestored.com

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