The Happiness Standard

Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Society & Culture
  • Updated Weekly

Happiness isn’t a goal to chase. Through the lens of her listeners and her own lived experience, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers explores the two-sided coin of happiness—how it shows up in both joy and discomfort. Discover how to make happiness your standard, not your goal.

  1. 2h ago

    Episode 18: The Confidence Catch

    You've been told confidence comes first. What if that's wrong? In Episode 18 of The Happiness Standard, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers explores the psychology of confidence, self-efficacy, avoidance, and why the feeling you're waiting for actually comes after you begin. Discover the confidence catch—and why it could be the reason you feel stuck. Episodes Mentioned: Episode 11 - Congratulations! You Failed: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2iLl7CCtTI1x51LPkhLduC?si=kBefNzMjTXydR09znXwtEw Episode 10 - You’re Measuring Wrong: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3YtpeCAX9IIX9cbj8nLf3o?si=jEzevaaCRNS56QgMMs2A6A Episode 7 - My Birthday! https://open.spotify.com/episode/1eGi5VFROlucsDcA1NjJPr?si=SLAgy5jzSfeaYWgysrMfEQ References Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84(2), 191–215. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295X.84.2.191 Bandura, A. (1997). Self-efficacy: The exercise of control. W. H. Freeman. Craske, M. G., Treanor, M., Conway, C. C., Zbozinek, T., & Vervliet, B. (2014). Maximizing exposure therapy: An inhibitory learning approach. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 58, 10–23. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.brat.2014.04.006 Masten, A. S. (2001). Ordinary magic: Resilience processes in development. American Psychologist, 56(3), 227–238. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.56.3.227 Mowrer, O. H. (1947). On the dual nature of learning: A reinterpretation of “conditioning” and “problem-solving.” Harvard Educational Review, 17, 102–148. Southwick, S. M., Bonanno, G. A., Masten, A. S., Panter-Brick, C., & Yehuda, R. (2014). Resilience definitions, theory, and challenges: Interdisciplinary perspectives. European Journal of Psychotraumatology, 5(1), Article 25338. https://doi.org/10.3402/ejpt.v5.25338

    37 min

  2. Jun 9

    Episode 17: Why Validation Feels So Addictive

    What if the confidence you rely on isn't actually yours? In Episode 17 of The Happiness Standard, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers explores the hidden psychology behind validation, self-worth, confidence, and social approval. Discover why external validation feels so rewarding, how it can quietly shape your happiness, and the surprising path to building confidence from within. References: Bandura, A. (1977). Self-efficacy: Toward a unifying theory of behavioral change. Psychological Review, 84(2), 191–215. Baumeister, R. F., & Leary, M. R. (1995). The need to belong: Desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation. Psychological Bulletin, 117(3), 497–529. Crocker, J., & Wolfe, C. T. (2001). Contingencies of self-worth. Psychological Review, 108(3), 593–623. Izuma, K., Saito, D. N., & Sadato, N. (2008). Processing of social and monetary rewards in the human striatum. Neuron, 58(2), 284–294. Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity, 2(2), 85–101.

    26 min

  3. Jun 2

    Episode 16: The Expectation Effect

    Are your expectations communicated or assumed? In EP 16 of The Happiness Standard, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers explores how expectations shape our relationships, self-worth, and emotional wellbeing. Learn how unmet expectations can lead to disappointment, why boundaries are essential for healthy communication, and how self-integrity helps build trust with yourself. Through communication theory, practical strategies, and real-life examples, this episode offers tools for navigating relationships, setting boundaries, and managing expectations in a healthier way. Episodes Mentioned: Are You Giving Grace or Making Excuses? : https://open.spotify.com/episode/7LV5dyquSt77IFZi4lZZ2B?si=MV_DjfjCQ5-XSPab5tpDVg Embracing Change: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Rb0qH75B6lcyufxIgssu1?si=0CLHhk6oQrKoACrKkfHiOg References: Burgoon, J. K. (1993). Interpersonal expectations, expectancy violations, and emotional communication. Journal of Language and Social Psychology, 12(1–2), 30–48. https://doi.org/10.1177/0261927x93121003 Burgoon, J. K., & Jones, S. B. (1976). TOWARD a THEORY OF PERSONAL SPACE EXPECTATIONS AND THEIR VIOLATIONS. Human Communication Research, 2(2), 131–146.

    40 min

  4. May 26

    Episode 15: Did COVID Make You Lonely

    Did COVID change the way you connect with people? In EP 15 of The Happiness Standard, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers explores the rise of loneliness after the pandemic and why feeling disconnected impacts more than just our emotions. Using research from Hawkley and Cacioppo (2010), this episode breaks down the psychological, relational, & physical effects of loneliness — and how we begin reconnecting again! Podcasts Episodes Mentioned:  Embracing Change: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4Rb0qH75B6lcyufxIgssu1?si=nG8FT8_DS62ukWeEOFIvDg Anger Is Your Friend: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6FJJtqnCRTkHSM9wRYMh3b?si=kQUV-UaoSNyVTK1b05lTrw References:  Hawkley, L. C., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2010). Loneliness matters: a theoretical and empirical review of consequences and mechanisms. Annals of behavioral medicine : a publication of the Society of Behavioral Medicine, 40(2), 218–227. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12160-010-9210-8

    35 min

  5. May 19

    Episode 14: Embracing Change

    In this episode of The Happiness Standard, we discuss embracing change, outgrowing relationships, letting go of people who are no longer aligned with your life, and navigating uncertainty when the future feels unclear. Sometimes growth means accepting that not everyone is meant to come with you—and that not knowing what’s next doesn’t mean something is wrong. Even if that's scary! Tune in for an honest conversation about change, healing, and becoming who you’re meant to be.

    30 min

  6. May 12

    Episode 13: Anger is Your Friend

    Anger, sadness, anxiety, and jealousy aren’t the problem—they’re signals trying to tell you something. In this episode, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers breaks down why all emotions serve a purpose and why we must learn how to respond to our emotions, not react to them. We also explore how identifying the fallacies and narratives we tell ourselves can improve emotional intelligence, mental health, relationships, and self-awareness. *Note* I misspoke when I said 87,000 emotions! I meant 87🤦🏼‍♀️ References: Atlas of the Heart (Brown, B. (2021). Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience. Random House.),  Ellis, A. (1955). New approaches to psychotherapy techniques. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 11, 207–260.) Stoewen D. L. (2024). The vital connection between emotional intelligence and well-being - Part 1: Understanding emotional intelligence and why it matters. The Canadian veterinary journal = La revue veterinaire canadienne, 65(2), 182–184.  Wood, J. T. (2020). Interpersonal communication: Everyday encounters (9th ed.). Cengage Learning.

    31 min

  7. May 5

    Episode 12: Grief & Growth

    In this episode, Sarah shares her personal experience with grief—what it’s really felt like, what she’s learned along the way, and the questions people are often too afraid to ask out loud. Covering grief, healing, guilt, faith, and growth, she offers an honest look at navigating loss while still moving forward. If you’ve ever wondered, “Is this normal?” during your experience with grief—this episode is for you.

    1 hr

  8. Apr 28

    Episode 11: Congratulations! You Failed

    What if the moments you call "failure" are actually the key to your biggest success? In this powerful episode of The Happiness Standard, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers gets comfortable being uncomfortable as she explores how to reframe failure, overcome the fear of trying, and turn setbacks into growth. References: Castrillon, C. (2021, December 10). Why failure leads to career success. Forbes. https://www.forbes.com/sites/carolinecastrillon/2019/11/20/why-failure-leads-to-career-success/ Wilson, R. C., Shenhav, A., Straccia, M., & Cohen, J. D. (2018). The eighty five percent rule for optimal learning. bioRxiv (Cold Spring Harbor Laboratory). https://doi.org/10.1101/255182 Yin, Y., Wang, Y., Evans, J. A., & Wang, D. (2019). Quantifying the dynamics of failure across science, startups and security. Nature, 575(7781), 190–194. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41586-019-1725-y

    30 min
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About

Happiness isn’t a goal to chase. Through the lens of her listeners and her own lived experience, Dr. Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers explores the two-sided coin of happiness—how it shows up in both joy and discomfort. Discover how to make happiness your standard, not your goal.

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  • Creator
    Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    20
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Sarah Eileen-Downey Akers
  • Show Website
    The Happiness Standard