I have been reading a dating book. It’s called Getting to I Do by relationship therapist Dr. Pat Allen, and it’s all dating advice for women who want to get married. You’re probably asking yourself, okay, what does a dating book have to do with being a founder? Let me drop a couple of gems for you. One of the things she talks about is masculine energy versus feminine energy in a relationship. If you’re a woman who wants to be mostly in her feminine energy in a relationship, she says you have to make a choice. These are her words, not mine, so don’t come for me, ladies. The choice is this: are you a career woman, or are you a woman with a career? Something in that sentence clicked for me. It got me thinking, okay, wait a minute, which one am I? The bio I couldn’t get right Funny story. For the past year, I have written and rewritten my Instagram bio. I cannot tell you how many times. I know this sounds so trite, and it possibly sounds ridiculous. But every time I wrote it, something felt a little bit off, and I wasn’t able to place it until I read that section of the book. I was leading with my business first. I was leading with all the things somebody can expect from me as a brand strategist, like the marketing tips and the “this is what you should do for your brand.” None of that felt right, and I think it’s because there’s so much more to me than my business. I was forcing myself into this title. And it’s like, no, no, no. I’m a person that runs a brand strategy company. But that’s not all that I am, and that’s not all that I do, and that’s not all that I’m into. So when the book asked, are you a career woman or a woman with a career, my answer was, I’m a woman with a career. When I made that connection, I was able to rewrite my bio and say: Hey, I’m Natasha. I’m a seeker. I’m a traveler. And yes, I’m a founder. And yes, I’ve been laid off a few times. And yes, that led to me running a branding business. But that’s not who I am. It’s just what I do. It has never felt so good. I wasn’t boxing myself in anymore. Same book, six years later A little backstory. I went through a divorce around six years ago, and that’s the first time I read this book. After taking some time in therapy and working through healing, I wanted to get back out in the dating field, and this was one of the books that was highly recommended to me. At that time I was kind of like, what is this masculine feminine stuff? I wasn’t in the headspace to take it in. I just wanted some tips. Is the dating app the best thing for me? Should I ask for a referral to meet a guy? But I do remember being very clear that in my work, I am all in my masculine. When I was coaching clients at Equinox, I was literally telling them what to do day in and day out. Masculine does not mean man. It just means the energy of planning, doing, strategizing. I’ve been in that energy at work for many years. In my personal life, I’m much more in the receiving and in the flow. Fast forward six years. I’m in a place where I would like to find a life partner and get married again. So I’m rereading this book, and I’m in a different place as a founder too. The first time, I was building my business. Now I’m in it, scaling, and thinking about next steps. I don’t have to be all in my business by myself. I have a business partner. I have a VA. There are people I can rely on now, so I can be more in a receiving type of energy, like the receiving of help. Love and money In programs like To Be Magnetic, which I’ve done since getting divorced, they talk a lot about the energetics of money and romantic relationships, and how there is a similarity to them. I remember hearing what they were saying. I could hear it conceptually, but it didn’t click for me in my body until I was reading this book. I think for me, it was feeling like I have to fit in a box in order to get X, Y, and Z. But I really don’t. That box was self-imposed. What clicked was this: define what matters most to me, and then give the things that matter most an assignment. What matters most to me is myself. My career is one aspect of me. It’s something that I do. Which way do you lead? Are we what we do? Or are we ourselves, and we just happen to do these things? That’s an important question for me as I move forward as a founder, which is a title in itself. Even when I think about new clients and new services and new things I want to offer the world, I recognize that I first want to lead as myself. That’s what’s most important to me. And then, yes, what I do and how I can best serve and help. Of course that’s important. It’s just so crazy that it took reading a dating book to finally get here. An exercise for you Don’t worry, it’s not dating homework. It’s for anybody who has been stuck on their Instagram bio, their Substack description, their LinkedIn, or wherever you’re doubling down. * Open that bio and read the first line. Is it about who you are, or about what you do? * Write down three words for who you are that have nothing to do with your job. * Rewrite your bio with those words first and your work second. * Read both versions out loud. Keep the one that feels like you. Leave a comment and let me know which one you kept. I’m very interested in exploring this conversation further. And if you did the exercise and you still can’t figure out how to lead with yourself, come sit with me for an hour and we’ll work it out together. Come Sit With Me. ******* Hi, I’m Natasha Maxwell. I’m a brand and marketing strategist, and I’ve spent years helping founders, wellness brands, and personal brands turn what they already have into something people understand and buy into. I started in fashion marketing, moved into wellness, and now work across brand strategy, content, and digital business. I’ve also been laid off three times, which is why I believe everyone should have something of their own, even if it starts as a bridge. Since then, I’ve built my own business, worked remotely, and lived in places like LA, Lima and Madrid. Find and follow * Substack: themaxwellmethod.substack.com * Instagram: @themaxwellmethod * Apple Podcasts: Founder, Unfiltered * Website: www.themaxwellmethod.com * Work with me: Come Sit With Me Get full access to Something of Your Own by Natasha Maxwell at themaxwellmethod.substack.com/subscribe