Trying Very Hard: The Podcast

Monica and Amanda

We’re all try-hards — at work, in love, in healing, or just getting through the week. Trying is hard, but it might be the most meaningful part of the journey. Hosted by best friends Amanda and Monica, Trying Very Hard is a podcast about slowing down to unpack and celebrate the messy, unglamorous effort behind growth. Each week, we talk to friends and experts about what they’re trying hard at — from building a business to breaking a habit — and the insights they’ve uncovered along the way. If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing too much and not enough, you’re in good company.

  1. Inside the Life of a Football Agent: On Contracts, Resilience and the +1 / -1 Rule (with Matthew Moore)

    3d ago

    Inside the Life of a Football Agent: On Contracts, Resilience and the +1 / -1 Rule (with Matthew Moore)

    Ever romanticized a career that looks glamorous from the outside? In this episode of Trying Very Hard, Monanda sit down with Matthew Moore — football agent, South African globetrotter, and Monica's one true college friend — to find out what the job actually looks like behind the scenes. Matthew has spent his career negotiating contracts, managing young players' mental states, designing Puma boot collections in Milan, and racking up enough Marriott nights to never pay full price again. We talk about how he got in (hint: fake Twitter accounts and a 16-year-old with hustle), what it takes to stay in (contacts, grit, and face-to-face everything), and the one framework he gives every player he signs: stay between +1 and -1. We also go somewhere more honest: what it means to grow a thicker skin without losing yourself, whether numbness is a coping mechanism or a cost, and the blurred line between a career you love and a life you're neglecting. Plus: why AI won't replace the football agent, what growing up across South Africa, Spain, and Boston teaches you about resilience, and the Japanese language goal he's blaming on business expansion (we believe him, mostly). If you've ever built — or wanted to build — something unconventional, or just wondered what it looks like to succeed in an industry nobody explains, come sit with us. Follow us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269 Website: https://www.tryingveryhard.com/

    46 min

  2. May 19

    Do You Want Kids? On Choosing Parenthood, Social Pressure, and Inherited Expectations

    Did you decide to have children — or did you just assume you would? In this episode of Trying Very Hard podcast, Amanda and Monica get honest about having kids, not having kids, maternal ambivalence, and the default most of us never question. Amanda is visibly pregnant. Monica has always assumed she'd want kids but has had her doubts. Together they unpack the default assumption that most of us inherited, the quiet fear of saying out loud that you're uncertain, and why the people who've decided not to have kids have usually thought about it harder than anyone. They get into maternal ambivalence, the career disruption nobody prepares you for, the resentment that's too hard to admit, the biological clock and egg freezing, and the big question underneath it all: can you ever really be ready? No judgment. No right answer. Just two friends trying to figure out whether the lives they're building are actually theirs. Follow us: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269 Website: https://www.tryingveryhard.com/

    51 min
  3. Who Are You Without Your Job? On Burnout, Career Identity, and Starting Over (with Sandra Wang)

    May 11

    Who Are You Without Your Job? On Burnout, Career Identity, and Starting Over (with Sandra Wang)

    Who are you without your job title? It's a question most high achievers never stop long enough to ask. Sandra Wang did — not by choice, but because burnout and a pandemic layoff left her with nothing else to sit with. In this episode of Trying Very Hard, the life and career coach and founder of The Kind Mind (@thekindmindcoaching) joins us to talk about career burnout, identity collapse, people pleasing, and what the slow, uncomfortable work of rebuilding actually looks like. We cover the hustle years — the startup grind, the validation loop, the moment her friends thought she owned her boss's company because she was so attached to it. We cover the crash — the weight fluctuations, the sleepless nights, the "who am I without a role" spiral that therapy and coaching helped her name. And we cover what came after — the ICF certification, the quiet pivot, the practice she built rooted in self-compassion, and the therapist who recently told her she has a healthy nervous system. She asked her to say it again. If you've ever tied your self-worth to your output, struggled to switch off, or realised the inner voice you've been living with is meaner than anything you'd say to a friend — this one will hit. Follow Sandra: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thekindmindcoaching Follow us: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod⁠⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX?si=fb23804978884406⁠⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.tryingveryhard.com/

    51 min
  4. Love in Your Thirties: On Dating, Heartbreak, and Relearning Love as a Millennial

    May 4

    Love in Your Thirties: On Dating, Heartbreak, and Relearning Love as a Millennial

    The relationship patterns you build in your twenties don't just disappear. They follow you until something or someone finally makes you look at them. In this Trying Very Hard episode, Amanda and Monica get honest about dating in your twenties versus your thirties — the loves that shaped them, the patterns they had to unlearn, and what it actually took to get there. They talk about the addictive high-low cycle that's hard to leave even when you know it's bad for you, the texting games they played and hated themselves for, the difference between kind and nice, and what it really means to wear your heart on your sleeve when you've spent years treating it as an act of desperation. They also get into what being single in your thirties actually feels like, the pressure of timelines and biological clocks, how to know when you're settling, and why the non-negotiables that actually hold up look nothing like the list you made at 24. If you've ever stayed too long, questioned your self-worth in a relationship, or wondered when love in your 30s was supposed to start feeling easy, this one's for you. Follow us: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod⁠⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX?si=fb23804978884406⁠⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.tryingveryhard.com/

    58 min
  5. When Fitness Is Coping: On Disordered Eating, Body Image, and Unlearning (with Naz Schifra)

    Apr 27

    When Fitness Is Coping: On Disordered Eating, Body Image, and Unlearning (with Naz Schifra)

    What if the body you're trying to build is the one that's slowly breaking you down? In this episode of Trying Very Hard, we sit down with Naz Schifra (@nazhariaschifra⁠) — co-founder of ELVTE (@elvtesg), coach, nutritionist, and former bodybuilder — to talk about the cost of being shredded, the disordered eating that bodybuilding prep requires, and the long, unsexy work of unlearning a body image she'd built around proving people wrong. We get into period loss, eating 1,100 calories a day, hiding the weighing scale during recovery, and the moment Naz realized that every fitness era of her life — bodybuilding, CrossFit, weightlifting, now Hyrox — was somehow a coping mechanism. We also talk about the rise of Hyrox, the toxic side of fitness trends on social media, and what raising your standards actually looks like when more isn't better. If you've ever pushed your body to prove something, looked your "best" while feeling your worst, or quietly wondered what you're hiding from when you sign up for the next thing, this one's for you. Come sit with us. Follow Naz: Naz Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/nazhariaschifra ELVTE Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/elvtesg Follow us: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod⁠⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX?si=fb23804978884406⁠⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.tryingveryhard.com/

    47 min
  6. Sober Curious Movement: On Drinking Culture, Social Pressure, and Why We Default to Alcohol

    Apr 20

    Sober Curious Movement: On Drinking Culture, Social Pressure, and Why We Default to Alcohol

    Why are we so weird about not drinking? In this episode of Trying Very Hard, we get into the sober curious movement, drinking culture, social pressure, and why alcohol still feels like the default setting for socializing, dating, celebrating, and everything in between — even when fewer of us actually want to be drinking. Monica hasn't really drunk in six or seven years (she's allergic, and tired of explaining it). Amanda is pregnant and noticing, for the first time, how much she'd been using alcohol as a social crutch. We talk about growing up in Jakarta's party-school culture, consulting bosses who pressure you into wine, the dating guy who broke up with Monica because she doesn't drink, and the Mel Robbins reframe that cracked it open: maybe it's not about the person who stopped — maybe it's about you. We get into sober curiosity, gen Z drinking less, zero-alcohol drinks, alcohol as social lubricant, and why the people who get uncomfortable when someone isn't drinking are the ones telling on themselves. No lectures. No judgment. Just two friends trying to figure out when drinking is a choice and when it's just a default. Are you drinking because you want to, or because you don't know how not to? Follow us: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod⁠⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX?si=fb23804978884406⁠⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.tryingveryhard.com/

    44 min
  7. The Skeleton in the Closet: On Growing Up Queer, Religion, and the Long Road to Pride (with Jeshua John)

    Apr 13

    The Skeleton in the Closet: On Growing Up Queer, Religion, and the Long Road to Pride (with Jeshua John)

    What does it actually take to stop hiding from the people you love most? In this episode of Trying Very Hard, we sit down with our dear friend Jeshua John — one of the most thoughtful people we know — for an honest conversation about growing up queer in a religious Malaysian family, the long and lonely journey through suicidal ideation and depression, and what it means to finally live without a skeleton in the closet. We talk about the tension between queerness and faith, the weight of Asian family expectations, the loneliness of being "the stable one," and the slow, painful process of his coming out story — first to friends, then to family, then to himself. Jeshua reflects on the breaking point that finally made him stop carrying the burden, the unexpected lightness that followed, and what it looks like to be proud not as performance, but as quiet presence. Amanda also reflects on 15 years of friendship with Jeshua and what it's been like to watch him become more himself. This is an episode about identity, faith, family, third culture kid experiences, and the long road from surviving to actually basking in the sunshine. Content note: this episode includes honest discussion of suicidal ideation, depression, and the experience of growing up queer in a religious family. Please listen with care. Follow Jeshua: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/@jeshuajohn__/ Follow us: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod⁠⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX?si=fb23804978884406⁠⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.tryingveryhard.com/

    49 min
  8. Is Self-Love Selfish? On Rest Guilt, Boundaries, and Actually Loving Yourself

    Apr 6

    Is Self-Love Selfish? On Rest Guilt, Boundaries, and Actually Loving Yourself

    Is self-love selfish? We're going to argue no... but it's complicated. In this episode of Trying Very Hard, Amanda and Monica get into what self-love actually is — and why it's not the same as self-care, not the same as selfishness, and definitely not the same as a $50 gratitude journal. We talk about slow mornings, rest guilt, the generational gap around hustle and productivity, self-love vs. selfishness, and what it looks like when self-love is used as an excuse to avoid uncomfortable things. We also break down performative self-care culture, the trap of consuming wellness content without doing the work, and what it actually means to fill your own cup before showing up for others. If these things have been on your mind, come hang with us! Follow us: Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/tryingveryhardpod/⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.youtube.com/@TryingVeryHardPod⁠⁠⁠ Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/4kQL0nJmPhv38D8io58eMX?si=fb23804978884406⁠⁠⁠ Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/sg/podcast/trying-very-hard-the-podcast/id1878052269⁠⁠⁠ Website: ⁠⁠⁠https://www.tryingveryhard.com/

    41 min
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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

We’re all try-hards — at work, in love, in healing, or just getting through the week. Trying is hard, but it might be the most meaningful part of the journey. Hosted by best friends Amanda and Monica, Trying Very Hard is a podcast about slowing down to unpack and celebrate the messy, unglamorous effort behind growth. Each week, we talk to friends and experts about what they’re trying hard at — from building a business to breaking a habit — and the insights they’ve uncovered along the way. If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing too much and not enough, you’re in good company.

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