Beyond the Gray

Kari Schwear
  • 5.0 (16)
  • Mental Health

You’ve built something solid. A business. A reputation. A life that looks the part. But somewhere along the way, something started feeling off. Not broken. Not a crisis. Just… not right. Maybe the drinking has become more of a habit than you'd like to admit. Maybe the marriage is stable but not exactly alive. Maybe you're still driven, but the fire feels different. You're functioning at a high level — and wondering why that still isn't enough. Beyond the Gray explores the gray areas of life that successful people rarely talk about — including gray area drinking, midlife identity shifts, relationships, faith, health, and purpose. Host Kari Schwear, founder of GrayTonic, helps business owners, leaders, and high-achievers understand what’s driving their habits, reconnect with what actually matters, and lead their lives with the same intention they bring to their work. This isn’t a sobriety podcast. And there are no labels here. Just clarity, honesty, and conversations most people are too busy performing to have. While many of Kari’s clients are men over 50 navigating these transitions, the ideas explored here resonate with anyone ready to move beyond the gray. New episodes every Tuesday.

  1. 2d ago

    One Decision Won't Change Your Life. Thousands of Small Ones Will. (Part Two) | Ep. 24

    You made the decision. You committed. You know your why. And then you woke up the next morning in the same house, with the same spouse, the same job, the same stress, and the same habits trying to pull you back. Now what? In Episode 24 of Beyond the Gray (Part 2 of 2), Kari Schwear tackles the part nobody talks about: what happens after the decision. Because the hardest part isn't saying "I'm done." The hardest part is living like someone who is done. This episode is about identity, the uncomfortable middle, and why feeling awkward is actually proof that you're growing, not failing. Kari shares how she built an entire identity around wine (including starting a neighborhood wine club), why quitting felt like burying a best friend, and the daily habits that slowly rebuilt who she was from the inside out. She also introduces the "floor vs. ceiling" concept and the one question that changed every decision she made from that point forward. In this episode you'll hear: • Why making a decision doesn't magically make you a different person • The "uncomfortable middle" and why this is where most people quit • How Kari built an entire identity around wine and what it felt like to let that go • Why feeling awkward or fake isn't proof that you're failing, it's proof that you're changing • The order that actually works: action builds belief, belief builds identity, identity builds consistency • Why nature doesn't like a vacuum and what to replace your habit with • Tonic water, walks, books, and prayer: the replacements that saved Kari's sobriety • The "floor vs. ceiling" concept for daily habits (and why your floor matters more) • The one question that changed everything: "Is this a vote for my future or my past?" • Why one decision doesn't change your life, but thousands of small ones will If you made a commitment in Part 1 and you're wondering what comes next, this is it. This is how you become the person your change requires. ————— FREE RESOURCE 28 Tools for Questioning the Drink: a free, one-page PDF with practical tools you can use today. No judgment. No shame. Just real tools that work. (Works for any habit, not just drinking.) CLICK HERE FOR THE 28 TOOLS RESOURCE (link) ————— READY TO TALK? If this episode stirred something and you want to have an honest conversation about where you are and where you want to go, no pressure, no sales pitch, no judgment, just book a call. Book a Call with Kari: https://calendly.com/karischwear/45min Visit the Website: https://www.graytonic.com/ ————— CONNECT WITH KARI LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/ ————— EPISODES REFERENCED Episode 23: Why Your Changes Never Stick (Part 1 of 2) Episode 3: The Identity Shift Episode 11: Stop Calling Yourself an Alcoholic Episode 13: Gray Area Drinking Explained ————— New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. If you know someone who made a change and then drifted back, send them both parts. Part 1 is the foundation. Part 2 is who you become. Together, they're the roadmap. #WhoAreYouBecoming #IdentityShift #LastingChange #GrayAreaDrinking #BeyondTheGray #KariSchwear #GrayTonic #FloorVsCeiling #VoteForYourFuture #QuitDrinking #UncomfortableMiddle #DailyHabits #ActionBeforeFeeling #SoberCurious #HighPerformers #MidlifeChange #Part2of2 #AlcoholFreeIdentity

  2. Jul 21

    Why You Keep Going Back To Your Comfort Zone | DECIDE Part One | Ep. 23

    You've tried to change before. Maybe it lasted 30 days. Maybe 90. Maybe even a year. And then you went right back. And the worst part wasn't the behavior. It was the voice in your head that said, "See? You can't do this." In Episode 23 of Beyond the Gray (Part 1 of 2), Kari Schwear breaks down why lasting change fails for most people and what actually makes it stick. She shares what she's never said publicly before: the nights she woke up outside sleepwalking, the mirror moment at 2am with two bottles of wine, and the promise she made to God on August 15th, 2016 that changed everything. This isn't motivation. This is the foundation. The psychology, the framework, and the exercises you need before anything else will work. In this episode you'll hear: • Why change fails even when you want it badly (and why willpower isn't the problem) • The "checkbox" concept: how small moments compound into the one that finally breaks through • Stories Kari has never shared publicly: the sleepwalking, the blackouts, the confusion • The mirror moment at 2am that became the turning point • The pros and cons list exercise that made the choice obvious • "Reasons to stay equaled comfort. Reasons to leave equaled my soul." • The "Five Whys" exercise: how to go five layers deep to find the why that actually holds • Why a surface-level why ("I want to be healthier") will never survive a craving • What AA got right: the white chip, one day at a time, and the power of commitment • Why Kari still doesn't say "I'll never drink again" and what she says instead • Three exercises to try this week before Part 2 drops This is Part 1. Next week in Part 2, we go deeper into identity, daily habits, and how to actually become who you've committed to becoming. This is the DECIDE Method. Don't miss it. ————— FREE RESOURCE 28 Tools for Questioning the Drink: a free PDF (via Google Drive link), with practical tools you can use today. No judgment. No shame. Just real tools that work. (Works for any habit, not just drinking.)YES! I WANT THE FREE GUIDE! ————— READY TO TALK? If this episode stirred something and you want to have an honest conversation about where you are and where you want to go, no pressure, no sales pitch, no judgment, just book a call. Book a Call with Kari: https://calendly.com/karischwear/45min Visit the Website: https://www.graytonic.com/ ————— CONNECT WITH KARI LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/ ————— EPISODES REFERENCED Episode 22: You Don't Need a Rock Bottom. You Need Your Own Enough. Episode 11: Stop Calling Yourself an Alcoholic Episode 13: Gray Area Drinking Explained ————— TOPICS COVERED why change doesn't last, lasting change psychology, gray area drinking, quit drinking, how to stop drinking, willpower myth, five whys exercise, pros and cons quitting drinking, rock bottom myth, midlife change, high performers and alcohol, identity and change, AA white chip, one day at a time, commitment vs motivation, Kari Schwear, Beyond the Gray podcast, GrayTonic, sober curious, alcohol-free, numbing behavior, THC and alcohol, checkboxes of change ————— New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss Part 2 next week. If you've ever made a change that didn't stick, share this with someone who needs to hear why. Sometimes the missing piece isn't motivation. It's the foundation underneath it. #WhyChangeFails #LastingChange #GrayAreaDrinking #BeyondTheGray #KariSchwear #GrayTonic #FiveWhys #QuitDrinking #RockBottomMyth #IdentityShift #SoberCurious #HighPerformers #OneDay AtATime #CommitmentOverMotivation #MidlifeChange #AlcoholFree #Part1of2

  3. Jul 14

    You Don't Need a Rock Bottom - You Need Your Own Enough | Ep. 22

    Jumping into a pool in my bra and underwear at a 4th of July party wasn't enough. Passing out on my husband's shoulder five minutes into a Tony Bennett and Lady Gaga concert we'd waited eight months for wasn't enough. Saying a cuss word in front of 700 people with their heads bowed in prayer at my husband's work event wasn't enough. But telling my then 23-year-old son to go blank himself while blacked out? That was enough. And I still remember his face the next morning when he told me what I'd said. In Episode 22 of Beyond the Gray, Kari Schwear gets raw about the moments that weren't enough, the one that finally was, and why the difference had everything to do with identity. This episode isn't just about alcohol. It's about why intelligent, successful people stay stuck long after they know something needs to change, and how to choose your own "enough" before life chooses it for you. Kari also shares three client stories of "enough" moments: the business trip that went too far, the wife who finally walked out, and the doctor who delivered news that couldn't be ignored. Every person's enough is different. The question is whether you'll choose yours or wait for it to choose you. In this episode you'll hear: • The three embarrassing stories that still weren't enough for Kari to change • The one moment that was, and why it hit differently than all the others • Why none of those earlier moments changed her identity, but the night with her son did • The neuroscience behind why our brains prefer unhealthy familiar over healthy unfamiliar • Why you keep comparing yourself to people who are worse off instead of people who are healthy • Three real client stories of "enough" moments: the business trip, the packed bag, the doctor's warning • Why most people aren't waiting for rock bottom, they're waiting for certainty • The leadership parallel: why leaders pivot fast in business but wait years in their personal lives • How the seed of change works, and why it took Kari two years of seeds before she acted • Questions to sit with this week that might help you find your own enough If you've been thinking about something you know needs to change but you keep telling yourself "it's not that bad," this episode is going to hold up a mirror. And maybe today is your enough. —————FREE RESOURCES👇 TAKE THE GRAY AREA AUDIT -Not sure where your gray areas actually are? The Gray Area Audit is free, takes about 15 minutes, and looks at all four Core Four areas of your life: body, being, balance, and business. It will show you exactly where you're living in the gray and what it might be costing you. https://www.graytonic.com/gray-area-audit/Download the free pocket-sized field guide of 28 practical tools men can reach for the moment they're tempted to drink, the days they're trying to build differently, and the deeper identity questions underneath both.👉 28 Tools: Question the Drink Want to go deeper? The Gray Area Insights Experience includes a behavioral scan and two coaching sessions designed for leaders who are ready to shift. Gray Area Insights Experience 👇https://www.graytonic.com/coaching-programs-leaders-couples/#insight Book a Call with Kari: https://calendly.com/karischwear/45min Visit the Website: https://www.graytonic.com/ ————— CONNECT WITH KARI LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/ ————— EPISODES REFERENCED Episode 9: "Am I Drinking Too Much?" (Stages of Change) Episode 13: Gray Area Drinking Explained ————— TOPICS COVERED rock bottom myth, you don't need a rock bottom, gray area drinking, enough moment, why people stay stuck, identity and change, choosing to change, midlife change, quit drinking story, embarrassing drunk stories, high performers and alcohol, brain and habits, neuroscience of change, comparing yourself to others, seed of change, Kari Schwear, Beyond the Gray podcast, GrayTonic, agency and change, personal leadership, gray area drinker, sober curious ————— New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. If you know someone who keeps saying "it's not that bad," send them this episode. Sometimes hearing someone else's "enough" is the mirror that helps them find their own. #WhatsYourEnough #YouDontNeedARockBottom #GrayAreaDrinking #BeyondTheGray #KariSchwear #GrayTonic #ChooseYourEnough #QuitDrinking #MidlifeChange #HighPerformers #IdentityShift #SoberCurious #EnoughIsEnough #PersonalLeadership #StopWaiting #SeedOfChange #AlcoholFree

  4. Jul 7

    Questioning Your Faith: The Gray Areas of Spirituality | Ep. 21

    People will talk about politics. They'll talk about money. They'll even talk about their drinking. But faith? That's where most people go silent. In this episode of Beyond the Gray, Kari Schwear sits down with Joshua Jurkovich, entrepreneur, ultra-runner, and founder of Level10 Growth and Kingdom Impact Network, for one of the most honest, unapologetic conversations this podcast has ever had. They go straight at the gray areas of faith that most Christians won't say out loud: church hurt vs. leaving God, why "new thought" and manifestation culture quietly replace God with self, and why the wealthiest, most successful people are often the emptiest on the inside. Josh shares his own rock-bottom season of disordered priorities, his experience with substances used to numb out, and the moment surrender changed everything. This isn't a religious lecture. It's a grace-and-truth conversation for anyone who believes in God "but," or isn't sure where they fit anymore. In this episode you'll hear: • Why "new thought" and new age practices quietly replace God with self, and how to spot it • The difference between leaving a church and leaving God • Why Kari's wealthiest, most successful clients are often the most depleted on the inside • What "disordered desires" means and why it explains the midlife crisis • Josh's rock-bottom season: breakup, loss, and the verse that reordered everything • The truth about ayahuasca, yoga, and spiritual "portals" from a Christian perspective • Why "it's not religion that's become political; it's politics that's become religious" • Practical first steps for anyone stuck in the gray area of their faith • Why the new age movement puts all the burden on you, while Jesus said His burden is light • Josh's closing line: "Your spirit is being formed. It's just a question of by what." If you've ever believed in God but felt the "but" creeping in, or if you've been hurt by the church and walked away from something bigger than the building, this conversation was made for you. ————— CHAPTERS 00:00 Intro: Why Faith Feels Off-Limits 01:58 Meet Josh: "Man of God" Before Anything Else 05:38 We All Worship Something 07:43 Church Hurt vs. Leaving God 16:01 What Is "New Thought"? (Enneagram, Manifestation, Self vs. God) 23:34 Wealthy and Empty: Why Success Doesn't Satisfy 26:19 Josh's Rock-Bottom Season and Disordered Priorities 31:01 Ayahuasca, Yoga, and Spiritual "Portals" 36:50 Where to Start: Surrender and the Holy Spirit 40:36 Kingdom Impact Network: A Home for Seekers 43:09 Closing Thought: What's Forming Your Spirit? ————— GUEST: Joshua  Jurkovich Entrepreneur, ultra-runner, follower of Jesus first. Founder of Level10 Growth and co-founder of Kingdom Impact Network.Connect with Josh on IG: https://www.instagram.com/joshjurkJoin us at Kingdom Impact Network: https://kingdomimpact.network ————— BOOKS MENTIONED Happy Lies by Melissa Dougherty: https://www.amazon.com/Happy-Lies-Movement-Probably-Self-Obsessed/dp/0310368863 The Steps to Freedom in Christ by Neil T. Anderson: https://www.amazon.com/Steps-Freedom-Christ-Spiritual-Conflicts/dp/0764219421 The Bondage Breaker by Neil T. Anderson: https://www.amazon.com/Bondage-Breaker%C2%AE-Overcoming-Negative-Irrational/dp/0736975918 The Infinite Game by Simon Sinek: https://www.amazon.com/Infinite-Game-Simon-Sinek/dp/073521350X ————— TAKE THE GRAY AREA AUDIT Not sure where your gray areas actually are? The Gray Area Audit is free, takes about 15 minutes, and looks at all four Core Four areas of your life: body, being, balance, and business. It will show you exactly where you're living in the gray and what it might be costing you.https://www.graytonic.com/gray-area-audit/ Book a Call with Kari: https://calendly.com/karischwear/45min Visit the Website: https://www.graytonic.com/ ————— CONNECT WITH KARI LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/ ————— New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. If this conversation stirred something in your spirit, share it with someone who's been wrestling with faith in silence. Sometimes the most important gray area to address is the one between you and God. #GrayAreasOfFaith #ChurchHurt #FaithOverFear #NewThoughtMovement #ManifestationVsGod #SpiritualFormation #BeyondTheGray #KariSchwear #JoshuaJurkovich #KingdomImpact #ChristianEntrepreneur #WealthyAndEmpty #Surrender #MidlifeFaith #DisorderedDesires #GrayTonic #WhatAreYouWorshiping

  5. Jun 30

    On Ozempic and Still Drinking? | GLP-1s, Antidepressants, and What Nobody's Telling You |Ep.20

    Millions of people are currently taking a GLP-1 medication or an antidepressant. Many of them are also drinking. Very few of them have been told what's actually happening inside their bodies when they do. That changes today. In Episode 20 of Beyond the Gray, Kari Schwear breaks down the real risks of mixing alcohol with GLP-1 medications like Ozempic, Wegovy, Mounjaro, and Zepbound, as well as common antidepressants like Prozac, Zoloft, Lexapro, Effexor, and Cymbalta. This isn't opinion. Every point is backed by published research, linked below. And it's the conversation your 15-minute doctor appointment doesn't have time for. Kari also shares her own experience on tirzepatide, including the lab result that made her stop, and what she's seen working with clients who were on these medications and still drinking without realizing what it was costing them. In this episode you'll hear: • The surprising research showing GLP-1s may reduce alcohol cravings by up to 50% • Why that doesn't mean it's safe to keep drinking on these medications • 6 specific risks of mixing alcohol with GLP-1 medications • Risk #1: Getting drunk faster and feeling it longer (your old tolerance no longer applies) • Risk #2: Dangerously low blood sugar from two directions at once • Risk #3: Pancreatitis risk increases (and Kari's personal experience with elevated pancreas levels) • Risk #4: Your medication may stop working the way it should • Risk #5: Dehydration compounds everything • Risk #6: Your liver is being asked to do too much at once • Why alcohol is literally working against your antidepressant every time you drink • The critical first 4-6 weeks on a new antidepressant and why drinking during that window can make it impossible to know if the medication is working • SSRIs vs SNRIs: what you need to know about each type and alcohol • Why most people underreport their drinking to their doctor and why that has to change • The gray area drinking connection: this isn't about blackouts, it's about the two to four drinks most nights that feel "fine" If you're on a GLP-1, an antidepressant, or both, and you're still drinking, this episode gives you the information you need to have a real conversation with your doctor. Because the conversation has to start somewhere. ————— DISCLAIMER This episode is for educational purposes only. Kari Schwear is a coach, not a doctor. If any of this information raises questions about your health or medications, please consult your physician. All research sources are linked below. ————— RESEARCH SOURCES GLP-1 medications and alcohol use disorder outcomes (Wang, Volkow et al., 2024): https://www.addictionpolicy.org/post/glp-1-agonists-show-promise-in-treating-substance-use-disorders GLP-1 drugs may delay alcohol effects in the bloodstream (Virginia Tech / Fralin Institute, Scientific Reports 2025): https://medicalxpress.com/news/2025-10-glp-drugs-delay-alcohol-effects.html Alcohol and GLP-1 medications: hypoglycemia and pancreatitis risks (Healthy Life Recovery, 2025): https://healthyliferecovery.com/can-you-drink-alcohol-while-taking-glp-1-medications/ GLP-1 and alcohol: tolerance, side effects, safety (Healthon.com, 2026): https://healthon.com/blogs/journal/glp-1-and-alcohol-what-to-know-about-tolerance-side-effects-and-safety Drinking alcohol on semaglutide or tirzepatide (Mochi Health): https://joinmochi.com/blog/can-you-drink-alcohol-on-semaglutide-or-tirzepatide Ozempic and alcohol: risks and guidance (MedShadow Foundation, 2026): https://medshadow.org/drug-updates-recalls/can-i-take-this-with-that/ozempic-and-alcohol-can-i-drink-while-taking-glp-1-drugs/ Antidepressants and alcohol: the dangers (Mental Health Providers, 2025): https://mentalhealthproviders.org/addiction/the-dangers-of-mixing-antidepressants-and-alcohol/ Antidepressants and alcohol (Mayo Clinic): https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/expert-answers/antidepressants-and-alcohol/faq-20058231 Antidepressants and alcohol: what's the concern (Cleveland Clinic, 2025): https://health.clevelandclinic.org/antidepressants-and-alcohol ————— TAKE THE GRAY AREA AUDIT Not sure where your gray areas actually are? The Gray Area Audit is free, takes about 15 minutes, and looks at all four Core Four areas of your life: body, being, balance, and business. It will show you exactly where you're living in the gray and what it might be costing you. Want to go deeper? The Gray Area Insights Experience includes a behavioral scan and two coaching sessions designed for leaders who are ready to shift.Download the FREE Audit here Gray Area Insights Experience 👇 https://www.graytonic.com/coaching-programs-leaders-couples/#insight Book a Call with Kari: https://calendly.com/karischwear/45min Visit the Website: https://www.graytonic.com/ ————— CONNECT WITH KARI LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/ ————— TOPICS COVERED GLP-1 and alcohol, Ozempic and drinking, can you drink on Ozempic, Mounjaro and alcohol, Wegovy and alcohol, Zepbound and drinking, semaglutide alcohol risks, tirzepatide and alcohol, antidepressants and alcohol, drinking on antidepressants, SSRI and alcohol, Prozac and drinking, Zoloft and alcohol, gray area drinking, pancreatitis risk GLP-1, blood sugar and alcohol, medication and alcohol risks, Kari Schwear, Beyond the Gray podcast, GrayTonic ————— New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. If you know someone on a GLP-1 or an antidepressant who's still drinking, share this episode with them. They may not know what they don't know. And this information could ch...

  6. Jun 23

    How to Stop an Urge Before It Wins | A 5-Step Neuroscience Tool | Ep. 19

    What happens when you feel the urge or nudge to drink and you know you are better off without it? Back in 2018, I was 18 months sober, standing in a grocery store, staring at a display of Chardonnay right next to the fish counter. My mouth was salivating. My brain was screaming, "Just buy it." And I did the only thing I could think of. I yelled "STOP" out loud. In the middle of the store. In front of everyone. That moment became the foundation of everything I now teach my clients. In Episode 19 of Beyond the Gray, I'm sharing the SABER Method for the first time on the podcast. It's a five-step, neuroscience-backed tool for the exact moment when life tries to pull you back into old patterns. Not motivation. Not willpower. An actual map for what to do when the urge hits and your brain is on fire. In this episode you'll hear: • The full grocery store story: 18 months sober, one bad day, and a display of Chardonnay • Why willpower is a lie and what actually works in the moment • Cognitive dissonance explained: the internal power struggle between who you were and who you're becoming • The six core universal emotions and how they trigger old patterns before your conscious mind catches up • Protective states vs. expansive states and how to move between them • Neuroplasticity and neurosculpting: how every SABER practice builds a new neural pathway • The full SABER Method breakdown: Stop, Acknowledge, Breathe, Embrace, Redirect • Why "embrace" is the step most people skip and why it might be the most important • How to use SABER as a verb: "SABER your way through" any tough moment • A practice you can start today and questions to sit with this week If you've ever had a moment where the old version of you showed up uninvited and you didn't know what to do, this episode gives you the exact tool to handle it. Not someday. Right now. ————— THE SABER METHOD S — Stop (say it out loud) A — Acknowledge (observe without obeying) B — Breathe (calm the nervous system) E — Embrace (give yourself grace) R — Redirect (gratitude + a new powerful decision) —————New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. TAKE THE GRAY AREA AUDIT👇 Not sure where your gray areas actually are? The Gray Area Audit is free, takes about 15 minutes, and looks at all four Core Four areas of your life: body, being, balance, and business. It will show you exactly where you're living in the gray and what it might be costing you.DOWNLOAD THE FREE AUDIT HERE Want to go deeper? The Gray Area Insights Experience includes a behavioral scan and two coaching sessions designed for leaders who are ready to shift. Gray Area Insights Experience 👇 https://www.graytonic.com/coaching-programs-leaders-couples/#insight Book a Call with Kari: https://calendly.com/karischwear/45min Visit the Website: https://www.graytonic.com/ Email: hello@graytonic.com ————— CONNECT WITH KARI LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/ ————— EPISODES REFERENCED Episode 18: Intentionality and Awareness ————— TOPICS COVERED SABER Method, how to stop drinking urges, resisting alcohol cravings, gray area drinking tools, cognitive dissonance alcohol, willpower doesn't work, neuroplasticity and habits, neurosculpting, protective vs expansive state, pattern interrupt, stop drinking method, Kari Schwear, GrayTonic, Beyond the Gray podcast, midlife sobriety, high performers and alcohol, craving management, alcohol-free tools, sober tools ————— If you've ever had a moment where the old you almost won, share this episode with someone who needs a map for what to do next time. The SABER Method might be the tool they've been looking for. #SABERMethod #GrayAreaDrinking #StopDrinkingUrges #CognitivDissonance #WillpowerDoesntWork #Neuroplasticity #BeyondTheGray #KariSchwear #GrayTonic #AlcoholFree #PatternInterrupt #MidlifeSobriety #SoberTools #HighPerformers #SABERYourWayThrough #ProtectiveToExpansive #NewNeuralPathways

  7. Jun 16

    Why High Performers Ignore What’s Broken (And the 5-Minute Habit That Changes Everything) |Ep.18

    You already know something is off. You've known for a while. And yet you keep hoping it'll somehow fix itself while you pour another drink to make it easier to not think about it. Sound familiar? This episode is for you. In this solo episode, Kari Schwear breaks down the pattern she sees in high-performing men over and over again. One area of life is thriving while everything else is quietly collapsing. Great business, dying marriage. Just quit drinking, but now the faith is gone and the health is declining. The blinders are on and the hope-it-fixes-itself strategy is running the show. She shares the cultural lies that keep you stuck, what Scripture actually says about trying to compartmentalize your life, her own experience with tunnel vision after she quit drinking, and the one five-minute daily tool called WIGS that creates the awareness and intentionality needed to finally address what you've been ignoring. This one is practical, honest, and hits exactly where it needs to. In this episode you'll hear: Why high-performing men focus on the one thing that's working and ignore everything elseHow alcohol fills the gap when awareness isn't paired with intentionalityThe hustle culture lies that keep successful people stuckWhat Matthew 6:33 and Matthew 12:25 say about trying to compartmentalize your lifeKari's own tunnel vision story after she quit drinking and what it cost herThe WIGS framework: Wins, Intentions, and Gratitudes, a five-minute nightly habit that changes everythingA real-life example of what WIGS looks like for a man whose business is thriving but his marriage is notHow WIGS ties into the DECIDE method and why daily habits are the foundation of real changeA practical next step: the Gray Area Audit and how it shows you what you've been ignoringIf you've been grinding harder and hoping everything else catches up, it won't. But intentionality will get you there. This episode shows you exactly how to start. TAKE THE GRAY AREA AUDIT Not sure where your gray areas actually are? The Gray Area Audit is free, takes about 15 minutes, and looks at all four Core 4 areas of your life: Body, Being, Balance, and Business. It will show you exactly where you're living in the gray and what it might be costing you. Download it HERE. READY TO GO DEEPER? The Gray Area Insights Experience is a private, structured coaching experience designed for high-performing leaders and business owners who know something is off. It's not a group program. It's not a webinar. It's a real conversation about your real life across all four areas: Body, Being, Balance, and Business. Gray Area Insights Experience https://www.graytonic.com/coaching-programs-leaders-couples/#insight Book a Call with Kari: https://calendly.com/karischwear/45min Visit the Website: https://www.graytonic.com/ CONNECT WITH KARI LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/ RESOURCES MENTIONED Gray Area Audit (free download) - linked in show notes DECIDE Method - introduced in earlier Beyond the Gray episodes Brian Bogart - concept of AI: Awareness + Intentionality Matthew 6:33 - Seek first the kingdom of God Matthew 12:25 - A house divided against itself cannot stand TOPICS COVERED gray area drinking, gray area life, Kari Schwear, Beyond the Gray podcast, GrayTonic, why men ignore problems, high performers and burnout, awareness and intentionality, WIGS method, wins intentions gratitudes, daily habits for men, midlife men and marriage, gray area drinking midlife, how to stop numbing, men over 50 health, Core 4 framework, Body Being Balance Business, DECIDE method, hustle culture lies, marriage and business balance, faith and success, Christian men midlife, Matthew 6 33, tunnel vision and self improvement, how to get unstuck, gratitude journaling, intentional living, gray area audit, executive life coach, life transformation, men's mental health, drinking and stress, quitting alcohol midlife New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next.

  8. Jun 9

    We Thought We Had More Time | What My Father's Unexpected Passing Taught Me About Life | Ep.17

    My dad passed away the morning of this recording. This episode wasn't planned. I hit record because something happened this week that made everything else feel insignificant. Twenty-three family members gathered in Branson, Missouri. We laughed, we played games, we sat on the porch together. My dad told my husband, "You won't see me tomorrow, Rob. I'm going home." We didn't know how true those words would be. This isn't a grief story. This is a wake-up call. Because gray areas are dangerous precisely because nothing ever feels urgent inside them. We always think there's more time. More chances. More tomorrows. And then life steps in and reminds us that we were never guaranteed any of it. In this episode you'll hear: • The last week I spent with my dad and why it became the greatest gift of my life • His final words to Rob and what they meant • Why I'm only talking about three of the Core Four today (and why business doesn't matter) • A plea about faith, getting right with God, and what watching someone die teaches you about living • What carrying the APOE4 gene for Alzheimer's on both sides means for how I live now • The respiratory nurse named Eric who showed our family what it looks like to live your faith out loud • Why you need to stop postponing the conversation, the trip, the relationship, and the change • Rob's words that changed everything: "A piece of your father gets to live on through you" If you've been putting something off because you think there's still time, this episode is going to sit with you. And I hope it moves you to stop waiting. ————— TAKE THE GRAY AREA AUDIT Not sure where your gray areas actually are? The Gray Area Audit is free, takes about 15 minutes, and looks at all four Core Four areas of your life: body, being, balance, and business. It will show you exactly where you're living in the gray and what it might be costing you.https://www.graytonic.com/gray-area-audit/ Book a Call with Kari: https://calendly.com/karischwear/45min Visit the Website: https://www.graytonic.com/ ————— CONNECT WITH KARI LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/karischwear/ Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/beyondthegray.podcast/ ————— TOPICS COVERED losing a parent, grief and gratitude, don't wait, life is short, Alzheimer's, APOE4 gene, faith and death, gray area drinking, stop postponing, Core Four, body being balance business, midlife wake-up call, intentional living, relationships matter, time is finite ————— New episodes drop weekly. Subscribe so you don't miss what's coming next. If this episode moved you, please share it with someone who needs to hear it. Sometimes the most important message is the simplest one: don't wait. #DontWait #LifeIsShort #LosingAParent #GriefAndGratitude #GrayAreaDrinking #BeyondTheGray #KariSchwear #GrayTonic #FaithAndLoss #IntentionalLiving #CoreFour #StopPostponing #Alzheimers #APOE4 #MidlifeWakeUpCall #TreasureEveryDay

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About

You’ve built something solid. A business. A reputation. A life that looks the part. But somewhere along the way, something started feeling off. Not broken. Not a crisis. Just… not right. Maybe the drinking has become more of a habit than you'd like to admit. Maybe the marriage is stable but not exactly alive. Maybe you're still driven, but the fire feels different. You're functioning at a high level — and wondering why that still isn't enough. Beyond the Gray explores the gray areas of life that successful people rarely talk about — including gray area drinking, midlife identity shifts, relationships, faith, health, and purpose. Host Kari Schwear, founder of GrayTonic, helps business owners, leaders, and high-achievers understand what’s driving their habits, reconnect with what actually matters, and lead their lives with the same intention they bring to their work. This isn’t a sobriety podcast. And there are no labels here. Just clarity, honesty, and conversations most people are too busy performing to have. While many of Kari’s clients are men over 50 navigating these transitions, the ideas explored here resonate with anyone ready to move beyond the gray. New episodes every Tuesday.

Information

  • Creator
    Kari Schwear
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    25
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026 Kari Schwear