In this episode, I welcome Tyler Birch—a facilitator for the men’s personal growth program Common Ground, a father of two, and a former commercial construction manager turned early childhood educator. Tyler shares his remarkable professional and personal evolution: leaving behind a high-stress, male-dominated career in high-rise construction to work with young children in early learning centers. He opens up about his turning point at age 30, confronting relationship breakdowns, suicidal ideation, and the pivotal moment with his father that taught him absolute personal accountability. The conversation explores the transformative nature of men’s groups, the power of “I-language” and active listening, the necessity of non-judgmental spaces for men, and why doing internal work before becoming a parent creates positive ripples for future generations. Scroll down if you’d like to watch the conversation or if you’re listening on Spotify please visit the Substack page here. Key themes from the episode Career Pivot & Redefining Success Tyler shares how he transitioned from the high-stress, male-dominated world of commercial construction to early childhood education. Taking the leap and denying the “golden handcuffs” of money to prioritize personal fulfillment, connection, and unhurried presence in a job he truly loves. The Path to Accountability & Self-Responsibility Tyler talks about reaching rock bottom at age 30 and breaking out of cyclical patterns of numbing, relationship breakdowns, and blame. Realizing that he was the common denominator in his own life, and taking ownership of choices, emotions, and language. The Power of Men’s Circles & The Common Ground Programme We discuss the power of sitting as equals in a circle to share stories, creating an environment of safety, trust, and deep listening. Moving past ego, arrogance, and the illusion that you “have it all figured out”. Experiencing the “magic” of men supporting men through vulnerability rather than competition or posturing. Essential Boundaries for Safe Emotional Spaces I ask Tyler what he has learned to be the essential ingredients for maintaining an effective container for men to gather and share openly. * Confidentiality: Ensuring what is shared in the circle stays in the circle. * “I” Language: Speaking strictly from individual lived experience rather than using evasive or generalized language. * No Unsolicited Advice or Fixes: Removing the urge to “solve” another man’s problem, allowing him the dignity and trust to find his own answers. Fatherhood & Modern Masculinity Navigating the lack of a “handbook” for modern manhood and defining masculinity on your own terms. The positive “ripple effect” that doing internal emotional work has on partners, children, and the broader community. Using men’s groups as a space to process emotions so you can show up as a calmer, more grounded, and present partner and father at home. “Something I am incredibly grateful for is that I came into men’s work before I became a father… for me, stepping into that space at 30 and then becoming a father at 36, the ground that I covered inside of myself—I don’t know how I would have done fatherhood with the level of awareness that I had at 30….So like I think about ripples, the ripples that that makes in my son’s life, the change of trajectory… for my children, it’s immeasurable.” I hope you enjoyed that conversation, I know I did! Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments, I love hearing about what people take away from these conversations! Learn more If you’d like to learn about more about the Common Ground programme, check out the Men’s Wellbeing website here. Support the cause If you’re enjoying the podcast, and would like to support men’s mental health, consider leaving a 5 star review on Spotify and follow Taming Thumos on Instagram or better still, sharing the episode on your social media! Stay up-to-date Never miss an episode by subscribing to Taming Thumos on Substack, it’s free! Every new episode and article is sent directly to your email inbox. Or if you’re listening on Spotify hit the notification bell to stay up to date with future episodes! Go deeper If you’re enjoying the vulnerability of the podcast and appreciate introspective, thought provoking content, consider checking out my personal publication Musings On Life and Such Things here. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit tamingthumos.substack.com
