On Your Terms

Haley Ryan
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  • Self-Improvement
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Two people who've stopped pretending everything's fine, having the kind of raw conversation you'd have at 2am when you're both finally being honest. Each week, a different cohost joins me to explore a shared struggle with self-abandonment, boundaries, and choosing yourself. We talk about the turning point, the cost, and the parts that are still hard. No scripts, no performance, no toxic positivity. Just real people discussing the messy reality of going from living on autopilot to designing life on your own terms. Hosted by Haley Ryan, a Values Alignment Specialist and Authenticity Advocate.

  1. 4d ago

    She Gave 30 Years to Everyone Else. Then She Tried Being Herself | JaHana Holloway

    She spent decades doing everything to be needed. The one thing she never tried was being herself. In today's episode, Haley sits down with JaHana Holloway, author, speaker, and healing-centred creative, to talk about what people-pleasing really looks like from the inside, and what it actually costs over a lifetime. What starts as a story about growing up as the middle child in a single-parent home becomes a conversation about narcissism, self-abandonment, divorce, and the quiet courage it takes to hold your own healing when the people you were doing it for have all left. Growing up people-pleasing to manage a mother who was emotionally unavailable and a father who was absent, and carrying that straight into having her first child at 19 before she even knew those patterns had a nameWhy narcissists find people-pleasers the way sharks find blood, and how JaHana has gone from a 7-year marriage to spotting the red flags and cutting it off in 30 daysThe funeral she held for her marriage: not a divorce party, but an actual goodbye to the life she thought she was going to haveGoing from 30 years of people-pleasing to choosing herself, and watching people fall away left and right because they preferred the version of her that did everything for everyoneStill sitting in the loneliness of that, still in her hometown where people see her as who she was rather than who she is becoming, and being honest about how hard that isPublishing two books from inside that loneliness, including a children's book called Birds of a Different Feather: Too Bright to Fit In, which is her own story told through a bird who never quite belongedThis one isn't just about people-pleasing or recovering from a toxic marriage. It's about what it means to have always been enough and never been able to see it, and what happens when you finally stop trying to make everyone else see it first. About JaHana: JaHana Holloway is an author, speaker, and healing-centered creative whose work is rooted in transformation, self-reflection, and emotional healing. Her poetry collection Metamorphosis uses her lived experiences as a bridge for others to feel seen, and her children's book Birds of a Different Feather: Too Bright to Fit In is her own story in disguise. She creates spaces for honest conversations about the parts of life we usually avoid, and invites people into the process of shedding, healing, and returning to who they truly are. Connect with JaHana: Website: linktr.ee/jahanaholloway Facebook: JaHana Holloway Instagram: @vibewithjahanna TikTok: @vibewithjahanna Threads: @vibewithjahanna Subscribe & Share: If this resonated, share it and don't forget to subscribe. Follow me on YouTube @haleyryan.unfiltered or visit www.haleyryan.co.uk to find out how you can stop abandoning yourself for acceptance and finally be fully and unapologetically yourself.

    1 hr

  2. Jun 4

    She Walked Out of Her Final Exam Two Classes from Graduating. It Was the Best Thing She Ever Did | Lisa Gornall

    She had a B in the class, two classes left to finish, and a family expecting her to graduate. She failed the final on purpose without realising it. In today's episode, Haley sits down with Lisa Gornall, spiritual medium, energy coach, author, and healer, to talk about what happens when your intuition is louder than your logic, and you finally stop arguing with it. What starts as a story about leaving nursing school becomes a conversation about energy, burnout, boundaries, and learning to trust the inner knowing that has been guiding you all along. How a vision Lisa saw in sixth grade sent her down a nursing path for years, and why it turned out she had been watching a past life, not a futureSitting on a patient's bed, asking him what was really going on with his heart, realising she could never do the work she was called to do inside a hospital systemMoving across the country pregnant, with no social media, no Zoom, and no clients, and building her business anyway in a city where nobody knew what coaching wasBurning out twice, the second time tearing her Achilles, and what it finally took for her to stop running on empty and build a schedule that actually protects her energyWhy she is never off, what it costs to be permanently reading energy in every room, and the boundaries she had to learn to keep her gifts from depleting herWhat she is still working through: watching her daughters date the wrong people and learning, finally, to say it once and then step backThis one isn't just about career pivots or spiritual gifts. It's about what it costs to keep ignoring your own knowing, and what becomes possible the moment you stop. About Lisa: Lisa Gornall is a spiritual medium, author, healer, and energy coach who has supported over a thousand women to transform their energy, relationships, and lives over the past two decades. Born with intuitive abilities that allow her to align and balance energy, she takes successful women from struggling to get through each day to genuinely thriving. Her books are available on Amazon, and her meditations are on YouTube. She believes you already have everything you need inside you. Connect with Lisa: Website: lisagornall.com Instagram: @energycoachlisa Facebook: Lisa Gornall LinkedIn: Lisa Gornall YouTube: Lisa Gornall Books: amazon.com/author/lisagornall Subscribe & Share: If this resonated, share it and don't forget to subscribe. Follow me on Linked In: @haleyryan.unfiltered for more real conversations about self-abandonment, boundaries, and designing life on your own terms.

    1h 3m

  3. May 28

    She Lost Her Marriage, Her Money, and Everything She Built. She's Still Waking Up Grateful | Andrea Hinojosa

    She didn't lose herself all at once. It happened quietly, over decades, until the woman in the mirror was a stranger. In today's episode, Haley sits down with Andrea Hinojosa, energy healer and founder of Pura Vida Wellness and Holistic Healing, to talk about what it costs to keep holding everything together when you have nothing left inside. What starts as a story about a marriage and a divorce becomes a conversation about identity, shame, self-forgiveness, and what it means to rebuild your whole life from the ground up, twice. How Andrea spent 31 years slowly disappearing inside her marriage, choosing peace on the outside over truth on the inside, until the night she looked in the mirror and did not recognise herselfHer daughter's suicide attempt becoming the moment that shattered the last of the performance, and finally sent Andrea inward rather than outwardLosing everything to a cryptocurrency scam and how the shame of it was harder to survive than the financial loss itselfWhy forgiving yourself is not making excuses, it is the only way back to safety, and how Andrea had to learn that distinction while still in the middle of rebuildingThe twin flame journey that preceded the scam and how it left her intuition blurred at exactly the wrong momentWhat she is still navigating: financial instability, the pull to control outcomes, and the daily practice of choosing light when darkness is walking right beside herThis one isn't just about loss or healing. It's about what happens when you have been stripped of everything, and whether you can find something worth keeping in what remains. About Andrea: Andrea Hinojosa is an energy healer and founder of Pura Vida Wellness and Holistic Healing. Through energy healing and deep transformational work, she helps people move out of survival mode and reconnect with inner safety, self-worth, and peace. Her work is rooted in lived experience, compassion, and the belief that true healing happens when the body finally feels safe enough to let go. Connect with Andrea: Instagram: @andreahinojosahealing Website: puravidawellnessandholistichealing.comSubscribe & Share: If this resonated, share it and don't forget to subscribe. Follow me on Instagram @haleyryan.unfiltered or visit www.haleyryan.co.uk/discord for more real conversations about self-abandonment, boundaries, and designing life on your own terms.

    53 min

  4. May 21

    She Was Going to the Grammys and Couldn't Have Cared Less | Anna Gryglewska

    She had the career that most people dream about. But she was also ending up in hospital and could not tell you why. In today's episode, Haley sits down with Anna Gryglewska, three times founder and creator of RAIS, SOULARA, and Elevated Collective, to talk about what it looks like when the life you always wanted quietly hollows you out. What starts as a story about global events and corporate burnout becomes a conversation about overachieving as a survival strategy, and what it actually took to stop proving herself to a company that saw her as a number. Producing the Grammy Awards, the UEFA Champions League, and events across six continents while running on chronic migraines, neck pain, and zero vacation days, and genuinely not realising anything was wrongThe moment a business coach broke down her hourly rate and she stared at it in silence, understanding for the first time what she had actually been trading her health forBurning out twice: once in corporate and once in entrepreneurship, because leaving the company does not mean leaving the patternHitting the darkest point of her career as a solo founder with no clients, no income, and a brother depending on her, and the unexpected text from a friend that became her lifelinePutting her second business on a shelf, going quiet, and discovering for the first time what it felt like to actually put herself firstStill catching herself at 3am in a creative spiral, skipping meals, missing the gym, and learning to use self-talk to pull back before the pattern takes hold againThis one isn't just about burnout or building a business. It's about what happens when your greatest strength becomes the thing that is slowly destroying you, and how you learn to use it without letting it use you. About Anna: Anna Gryglewska is a three times founder redefining how women connect, gather, and grow in business. After 16 years producing global events including the Grammy Awards and UEFA Champions League, she shifted her focus from large-scale spectacle to intimate, intentional rooms where real relationships form. She is the founder of SOULARA, a platform for discovering transformational events worldwide, the creator of RAIS, an invite-only dinner series for women in business, and the producer behind Elevated Collective. Her mission is simple: get more women into the rooms that change things. Connect with Anna: Instagram: @anna_gryglewska LinkedIn: Anna Gryglewska RAIS Dinners: joinrais.com Event Production: theelevatedcollective.co Subscribe & Share: If this resonated, share it and don't forget to subscribe. Follow me on Instagram @haleyryan.unfiltered or visit www.haleyryan.co.uk/discord for more real conversations about self-abandonment, boundaries, and designing life on your own terms.

    1h 1m

  5. May 14

    She Blew Up the Perfect Life, and Did It Twice | Heidi K. Brown

    She had the husband, the house, the law career, and the minister's kid halo. She was doing everything right and slowly disappearing. In today's episode, Haley sits down with Heidi K. Brown, travel memoirist, former lawyer, and law professor, to talk about the lifelong cost of performing the perfect version of yourself. What starts as a story about a marriage that looked flawless on paper quickly becomes a conversation about shame, self-abandonment, and what it actually takes to stop running from yourself long enough to find out who you are. How growing up as a minister's daughter taught Heidi that having needs was selfish, and how that belief followed her into her marriage, her career, and her 30sThe miscarriage that became a wake-up call her body forced her to hearWalking away from everything at 30: husband, house, dogs, job, with $7 and no planWhy taking a mental health leave of absence from a World Trade Centre law office three months before 9/11 may have saved her lifeRepeating the same pattern in a different relationship for 8 years, and the moment she finally stopped contorting herself to be what someone else wantedThe decade alone in her 40s that changed everything, and the Greek innkeeper who became her boyfriendThis one isn't just about divorce or reinvention. It's about what happens when you've spent a lifetime being everything to everyone, and what it costs to finally, slowly, become yourself. About Heidi: Heidi K. Brown is the author of the travel memoir The Map I Draw: A Memoir of Travel as a Passport to Self and three books on well-being for lawyers, including The Introverted Lawyer. A former construction industry attorney turned law professor, Heidi discovered solo travel at 43 on her first trip to Rome and never looked back. She writes about female solo travel on her Substack and is an internationally recognised speaker on self-empowerment, authenticity, and healthy performance. She lives in New York City and can be found writing books, taking boxing lessons, and jumping up and down at U2 concerts. Connect with Heidi: Website: www.heidikristinbrown.com Instagram: @introvertedlawyer | @heidiographia LinkedIn: Heidi Kristin Brown Threads: @introvertedlawyer TikTok: @heidiography Substack: heidiography.substack.com Subscribe & Share: If this resonated, share it and don't forget to subscribe. Follow me on Instagram @haleyryan.unfiltered or visit www.haleyryan.co.uk/discord for more real conversations about self-abandonment, boundaries, and designing life on your own terms.

    1h 1m

  6. May 7

    She Put Her Dream on Hold for Everyone Else. Then Her Body Said Enough | Ali

    She grew up a horse girl with no horses, with a single mum who sacrificed everything, and a body that started keeping score before she even knew what that meant. In today's episode, Haley sits down with Ali Green, a backcountry horse guide and brand new owner of Kirkwood Sierra Outfitters, to talk about what happens when you spend your whole life half-committed to yourself. What starts as a story about a childhood dream deferred quickly becomes a conversation about autoimmune disease, the cost of people-pleasing, and what it finally took to go all in on the life she always wanted. Growing up caught between who she was and who her mother needed her to be, and the years of conflict that followedHow suppressing her dreams showed up in her body, and why choosing herself was the only thing that quieted her lupus flaresCutting ties with her mum to find herself, and what it took to rebuild that relationship on new termsTen years working for other people before she finally asked: if I'm doing all this work anyway, why am I not doing it for myself?The real cost of going all in: romantic relationships that couldn't survive the lifestyle, saying no to friends, and learning to give herself grace on the hard daysWhy she is still learning to sit with uncertainty and stop creating monsters that don't exist yetThis one isn't just about horses or chronic illness. It's about what it costs to keep abandoning yourself, and what becomes possible when you finally stop. About Ali: Specialising in backcountry horse travel, Ali brings a balance of horsemanship, grit, and hospitality to her partnership with Kirkwood Sierra Outfitters. With more than a decade of experience wrangling, packing, and guiding across some of the West's most rugged landscapes, from the Tetons to the Gospel Hump Wilderness, she's built a reputation for calm competence and thoughtful stewardship for both people and stock. She loves sharing stories and making memories from the back of a good horse. Connect with Ali: Website: www.kirkwoodsierraoutfitters.com Facebook: Kirkwood Sierra Outfitters Instagram: @kirkwoodsierraoutfitters LinkedIn: Alison Green Subscribe & Share: If this resonated, share it and don't forget to subscribe. Follow me on Instagram @haleyryan.unfiltered or visit haleyryan.co.uk/discord for more real conversations about self-abandonment, boundaries, and designing life on your own terms.

    1 hr

  7. Apr 30

    Years of Burnout & Choosing Life Over Community | Suri Robinson

    For 17 years, she was the one who had all the answers. Then her body, her mind, and her will to live finally said no. In today's episode, Haley sits down with Suri, licensed clinical social worker and founder of After the Burn Co., to talk about what happens when the person holding everyone else together completely falls apart. What starts as a story about leaving a religious community quickly becomes a conversation about the slow, invisible violence of self-abandonment, and what it finally took to choose life. Growing up as the golden child who kept everyone's secrets by being impossibly perfect, and how that became a life sentenceRunning a school of 700 students, raising 5 children, and managing millions in budgets while silently drowning, and why nobody saw it comingThe moment she realised the self-care wasn't healing her, because you can't heal inside the thing that's hurting youWalking out the door not to leave her marriage or her community, but simply to stay aliveThe grief that doesn't go away: living states away from her children, re-breaking her own heart every time she says goodbyeWhat burnout actually costs your brain long-term, and why she quit a $10,000 coaching programme and called it the best decision she ever madeThis one isn't just about religious trauma or burnout. It's about what it means to finally choose yourself when everything and everyone you love is the price you pay. About Suri: Suri is a licensed clinical social worker and the founder of After The Burn Co. After years of helping others heal, building a successful business, and showing up as a community leader, she left a high-control religious community and became a full-time patient herself. She started her life over from scratch, building her world with authenticity and joy. Now she builds healing tools created from both sides of the therapy chairs. Connect with Suri: Website: www.aftertheburn.co  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aftertheburnco  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@aftertheburn.co Subscribe & Share: If this resonated, share it. Subscribe to On Your Terms on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen. Follow me on Instagram @haleyryan.unfiltered or visit haleyryan.co.uk/discord for more real conversations about self-abandonment, boundaries, and designing life on your own terms.

    1h 4m

  8. Apr 23

    She Got Cancelled for Telling the Truth About the Love and Light Community | Leah Drew

    She built her whole life around helping people heal. Then she called out the community doing the most harm, and they deleted her from the group chat. In today's episode, Haley sits down with Leah Drew, somatic facilitator, nervous system specialist, and founder of Mind Body With Leah, to talk about what happens when the spiritual community becomes the thing you need to heal from. What starts as a story about being cancelled quickly becomes a conversation about people-pleasing dressed up as enlightenment, and what it actually costs to live out loud. How the love and light movement uses the language of belonging, safety, and unconditional love to keep people small, and why Leah calls that a red flagThe moment she was silently removed from a community group chat by people she called family, and what it took to get off the floor that nightWhy spiritual bypassing is just avoidance in a prettier outfit, and the three feminine wounds underneath it all: people-pleasing, perfection, and performanceHaley opening up about spending the first 35 years of her life as the good girl, scanning every room for who she needed to be, and feeling completely alone as a resultThe difference between self-care and performing self-care, and why doing the bath-and-candles routine because you think you should is just another maskWhat living out loud actually means, and why it has nothing to do with being the loudest person in the roomThis one isn't just about spiritual communities or burnout. It's about the masks we wear to be loved and what we lose of ourselves in the process. About Leah: Leah Drew is a somatic facilitator, nervous system specialist, and leadership consultant who helps high-achieving women recover from burnout at the root level. With a clinical background spanning rehabilitation, pain management, and trauma-informed care, her work sits at the intersection of nervous system regulation, feminine healing, and leadership development. She leads retreats, embodied dance journeys, and her Somatic Leadership Academy, and is currently exploring the intersection of freediving, ocean science, and women's health. She's the founder of Mind Body With Leah and host of the Mindful Evolution Podcast. Connect with Leah:  Website: https://www.leahdrew.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindbodywithleah LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mindbodywithleah Free workbook to recalibrate your feminine power: https://www.leahdrew.com/Recalibrate If this resonated, please share it and don’t forget to subscribe. Follow me on Instagram @haleyryan.unfiltered or visit haleyryan.co.uk/discord for more real conversations about self-abandonment, boundaries, and designing life on your own terms.

    1h 2m
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Trailer

About

Two people who've stopped pretending everything's fine, having the kind of raw conversation you'd have at 2am when you're both finally being honest. Each week, a different cohost joins me to explore a shared struggle with self-abandonment, boundaries, and choosing yourself. We talk about the turning point, the cost, and the parts that are still hard. No scripts, no performance, no toxic positivity. Just real people discussing the messy reality of going from living on autopilot to designing life on your own terms. Hosted by Haley Ryan, a Values Alignment Specialist and Authenticity Advocate.

Information

  • Creator
    Haley Ryan
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    16
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Haley Ryan
  • Show Website
    On Your Terms

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