Sharing my conversation with Tiffany this week, who is homeschooling her 9 year old. I love a lot of things about this convo, but one of which is the way Tiffany describes homeschooling….as something that is creative, technical, philosophical, humbling. A multi-layered project. She talks about the relationship with her daughter as the most important thing (“8-10 more years of orbiting her center”😭) and shares candidly about their “re-upping” moments. We talk introversion (and the polarity of that with an extroverted kiddo), she shares some of their sweet practices (Morning basket, Mail Mondays, beginning & end of year letters, Yule School…) and she also talks about her experience of being a “gifted and talented kid” and the ways in which that, ultimately, didn’t serve her. This is also the first convo that dives a little bit more into the homeschooling requirements in CO, specifically the third grade test requirements. Also - I said I would circle back at the end to the topic of Tiffany not driving and then I never did lol. BUT I did circle back via text. Her response: “So, I never learned to drive. Never had a license. The way I think about it is this: friction is a tool. It’s not always a bad thing. If I want to adopt a new behavior, I try to remove any friction between me and doing the thing that I want me to do. If I want to discourage a behavior, then adding friction makes it harder to do the thing that I might be tempted to do but do not want to do. Choosing not to drive aligns with my values. It’s one of the ways I care for the environment. I prefer the pace of life. It has a way of slowing things down. Traveling on foot, by bus, or bike, just offers a different view of being in the world. As a homeschooler, it can limit what we choose to do. But, if it is super important, we make it happen. Values-aligned self-imposed limits help you get real clear on what matters and inspires you to get creative. I love not running around. I love that it forces me to invest in the relationships I have with the people who live on my street. I love interacting with people on the bus whom I would otherwise never be in the same space with. I love walking or riding the bike and taking in my surroundings. I can feel the breeze, the heat of the sun, the scent of the lilacs if I am riding by some bushes. More specifically, with homeschooling, I have to say no to a lot of amazing wonderful opportunities. As a parent, you want them to have every and all opportunities. But the best anyone can do in life is have a portfolio of experiences. We can’t have and do it all. And it all comes back to the quality of our time. I give myself permission to not try to give my kiddo everything.” I admit, I totally romanticize this decision and often think about how different community is, now…when we’re driving 30 minutes to find it vs. committing to our neighborhood. I imagine there are many challenges to it, too (it’s also, on a practical level, part of the reason Tiffany and I don’t see each other as much) but I agree with all her reasons for not doing it and wish, every day, that our country had infrastructure like Japan lol. Why don’t we have more trains, Americaaa?! To me, it’s also a valuable perspective and practice to add into the mix because it does actively fight against so much of what I think many modern parents struggle with…which is the pressure of running & doing, despite believing in the importance of slowing down and helping our kids see that their worth is not tied to their doing. Anyway - it’s another good one :) Enjoy. Resources shared > Life Ways - Waldorf Early Childhood Certification Montessori, Reggio Emilia, Tools of the Mind, John Dewey and the Chicago School, John Gatto, Charlotte Mason * Night Zookeeper (Gamified Language Arts) Homeschool requirements in CO Stanford 10 Homeschool Boss - NWEA Map Growth *Note: I get a little kickback from books purchased through those bookshop links Tiffany writes on substack, too! As always, you can also watch this interview on Youtube. Thank you for reading and listening! To support my work, give it a ♥️, share it, dialogue with me in the comments, and/or consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Peace Mail at peacemail.substack.com/subscribe
