Sorta Bossy

Sorta Bossy Podcast

85% of leaders never get trained. If you became a manager, team lead, or founder without anyone actually teaching you how to delegate, fire someone, or hold people accountable—this show is for you. We're tearing up the old leadership playbook and figuring out what actually works. Hosted by Adrienne Dorison

Episodes

  1. 5D AGO

    Dear Bossy: Help, I Feel Like a Monster When I Give Feedback

    Dear Bossy is the advice column format of Sorta Bossy. Think Dear Abby, but for real leadership situations. Adrienne and co-host Emily Doyle answer questions from listeners (all submitted anonymously) and pull real scenarios from the messy middle of managing people. Today's question, from an anonymous listener: "I have a team member who cries every time I try to give her feedback. Not harsh feedback — just normal, constructive feedback. The moment I start, she tears up and I feel like a monster. So I end up not giving her feedback anymore, which means she's not improving and I'm really frustrated. What do I do?" Adrienne isn't a crier. Emily is (or was). Together, they cover both sides of this scenario with honesty and zero judgment. What they cover: Why stopping the feedback entirely is actually the worst thing you can do for you and for themHow to offer space without abandoning the conversationWhy crying is involuntary and not (usually) manipulativeThe two most common triggers: disappointment after giving their best effort, and frustration at being stuck in a repeated patternHow to tell when someone genuinely can't hear you yet vs. when you can keep goingWhy skipping feedback doesn't protect your team member, it just delays the inevitableHow to frame feedback as care, not punishmentWhy the way you deliver feedback needs to vary person to personA real story between Adrienne and Emily, an actual attitude reprimand call, and how processing time made all the difference 🔗 Links Mentioned: 📋 Enneagram Processing Guide Want to submit a question for a future Dear Bossy episode? Send it to Adrienne on social media or via email to support@level11leaders.com. All submissions are kept anonymous. ⏱️ Time Chapters00:00 Welcome to Dear Bossy — the advice column format 01:52 How to submit your own Dear Bossy questions 03:42 Today's question: what do you do when your team member cries during feedback? 06:49 Adrienne's take: don't stop giving the feedback 09:21 Emily's take: crying is involuntary — make space for it 13:48 When the crier is your own kid (and why that's relatable) 16:02 The "nothing burger" cry — when emotions surprise you 17:25 The rule: pause if they can't hear you, but always come back 18:51 Real story: Adrienne gives Emily an attitude reprimand call 20:51 Why processing time matters before moving to solutions 22:38 Mindful of the blame game — give people room to process 23:19 The Enneagram processing guide and knowing your people 24:14 Final takeaway: deliver with care, directness, and don't stop Find the transcript here

    25 min
  2. 5D AGO

    Cold, Bossy, Abrasive: The Labels Women Leaders Can't Win Against

    Adrienne is joined by co-host and team member Emily Doyle for the first time, and they're diving into a topic that's deeply personal and deeply backed by research: why women leaders get labeled as cold, bossy, aggressive, or intimidating. and what's really going on underneath those labels. Adrienne shares the story of the first time she was called cold at age 21 or 22, in a group staff meeting, and how she unknowingly carried that label for years. Emily shares her own experience being called "the bitch down in pastries" at 19 during a dinner service. Sound familiar? It probably does. This isn't just lived experience. The data backs it up. The research they cover: The Double Bind Study: women were seen as either competent or likable, but rarely both. Men? Both simultaneously.The Abrasive Label Study: out of 248 performance reviews, the words "abrasive," "bossy," or "aggressive" appeared 71 times in women's reviews and zero times in men's.Research showing men's critical feedback focused on skill development, while women's focused on personality criticism ("watch your tone").When men express anger at work, they're seen as high status and competent. When women express the exact same emotion, they're seen as out of controlThe Heidi/Howard Study: identical case studies, only the name changed.Women score higher than men in 11 of 12 emotional intelligence competencies and score 3–5 points higher on EQ overall.Teams led by high-EQ leaders show better performance, higher engagement, and lower turnover. What "cold" usually really means: She had boundaries. She didn't manage my emotions for me. She didn't perform femininity the way I expected. What to do instead of shrinking: Adrienne and Emily talk through the "high care, high standards" model, how to deliver direct, clear feedback in a way that communicates warmth without softening your standards or apologizing for your competence. They also cover: Why women internalize these labels and sometimes start performing themAI and ChatGPT as an echo chamber of society's gender bias (Adrienne's story about being recommended second to a list of men)The "ask questions" strategy for responding to inappropriate or passive-aggressive comments in the workplaceWhy the data shows women are actually more wired for modern leadership. ⏱️ Time Chapters00:00 Welcome & introducing co-host Emily Doyle 05:31 Today's topic: Why women leaders get called cold 06:57 Adrienne's first "cold" label at 21 — and how it stuck 11:16 Emily's story: "The bitch down in pastries" 13:05 What "cold" usually actually means 16:06 The research: The Double Bind Study 17:23 The Abrasive Label Study — 71 vs. zero 18:34 Personality criticism vs. skill feedback in reviews 19:22 The Heidi/Howard Study 24:50 High care, high standards — how to add warmth without shrinking 25:09 What cold feedback vs. warm-direct feedback sounds like in practice 31:34 Why women may be more wired for modern leadership 33:33 The 69% stat and why high EQ is a competitive advantage 35:00 The "ask questions" strategy for handling inappropriate comments Follow Adrienne on Instagram! Transcript

    38 min
  3. 5D AGO

    Why You're Still Doing Everything Yourself

    If you've hired people, handed off tasks, and somehow still find everything coming back to you, this episode is the one you need. Host Adrienne Dorison breaks down why delegation isn't a skills problem. It's an identity problem. And no framework is going to fix that. This solo episode digs into the deeper psychological reason high performers struggle to let go, and what it actually takes to make the shift from doing the work to leading the work. In this episode: Why the skills that got you promoted are now working against youThe real reasons you can't delegate (hint: it's not your team's incompetence)The 4 hidden fears underneath every delegation struggle: losing control, becoming irrelevant, being exposed, and discomfortWhy over-helping your team is actually holding them backThe James Clear / Atomic Habits quote Adrienne returns to constantly: "Every system is perfectly designed to get the results it's currently getting" Digging holes vs. solving Rubik's Cubes: a framework for understanding why leadership work feels less satisfying than doing work (dopamine, instant gratification, and delayed payoffs)The guilt loop that keeps leaders stuck even after they intellectually understand the shiftA real client story: a visionary founder whose "coffee shop days" became a team-wide metricWhy your team's capability is now the true measurement of your success🔗 Links mentioned: 📋 Delegation Scripts🎓 Delegation Class Reflection question for this episode: Who am I if I am not the one doing the work? ⏱️ Time ChaptersTimestamp 00:00 Why Everything Is Still On Your Plate 01:17 The Identity Problem Behind Delegation 04:57 The Hidden Fears Underneath "I'll Just Do It Myself" 07:36 The Danger of Over-Helping Your Team 10:02 Digging Holes vs. Solving Rubik's Cubes 14:49 The Guilt That Keeps Leaders Stuck 18:47 Client Story: Coffee Shop Days as a Team Metric 22:59 What Your Real Job Actually Is 24:47 Reflection + Your Homework 25:57 Resources: Delegation Scripts & Class Access the transcript here

    26 min
  4. MAR 3

    I Have No Idea What I'm Doing

    Most leaders were never actually taught how to lead, and this episode names that truth out loud. Host Adrienne Dorison opens Season 1 by diving into why so many of us ended up in leadership roles completely unprepared, and what we can do about it. Drawing on her years in corporate manufacturing and 15+ years in operational efficiency, Adrienne shares a candid story from her paper mill days, a retention survey that revealed exactly what employees needed, presented to the C-suite, and promptly ignored. Sound familiar? In this episode: Why being a great "doer" doesn't automatically make you a great leaderThe sobering stats: 85% of leaders are winging it, and 69% of employees say their manager impacts their mental health more than their doctor, therapist, or partnerThe 3 broken beliefs of the old leadership playbook (and why they're costing you talent)The 3 principles of the new leadership playbook: results over presence, clarity over control, and humanity over authoritarian hierarchy3 gut-check questions every leader should ask themselves regularly Your homework: Answer these three questions honestly: Would I want to work for me?Is this how I would want to be led?Does this get results — or is it just leadership theater?⏱️ Time Chapters00:00 The Challenge of Modern Leadership 05:32 Old Models vs. New Models of Leadership 10:40 The Broken Beliefs of Leadership 21:30 Building a New Leadership Playbook 26:53 Self-Reflection as a Leader You can read the transcript here Please rate, review and subscribe if you loved this episode! Connect with Adrienne on IG

    32 min
5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

85% of leaders never get trained. If you became a manager, team lead, or founder without anyone actually teaching you how to delegate, fire someone, or hold people accountable—this show is for you. We're tearing up the old leadership playbook and figuring out what actually works. Hosted by Adrienne Dorison