Decode Teen Emotions Podcast

Agnes Blake
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Real tools for teen anger, confidence, and communication for teens and the parents who love them. Host John, expert Susan, and a teen guest decode what's really going on beneath the surface, covering the real situations teens face every day.

  1. Sep 30

    Episode 13: The Feelings You Haven't Named

    Ever answer "I'm fine" when you're really anything but? Welcome back to Decode Teen Emotions. I'm John, here with Susan, and today Braydon is back with us for an episode about something that trips up teens and adults alike: actually naming what you feel instead of rounding everything down to mad, sad, or fine. This one's for every teen, guy or girl, who's ever said "I'm fine" when they weren't. In this episode, Braydon admits "fine" is basically his default answer to everything, and Susan uses that to unpack why most of us never got handed a bigger emotional vocabulary than mad, sad, happy, and fine. She walks through how one word like "mad" can actually be hiding frustration, disappointment, or embarrassment underneath, using Braydon's own group project story as an example. From there, Susan introduces a simple way to track emotional triggers over time, shares the story of a teen named Jake who used a single pause to defuse a blowup with friends, and runs through a handful of in the moment tools, from breathing to bullet point journaling to a body scan, so listeners can find the one or two that actually fit them. The episode ends by connecting all of it back to values, the things underneath your reactions that actually matter to you. By the end of this episode, you will have a bigger emotional vocabulary, a simple way to spot your own triggers, and at least one calming tool you can try the next time something sets you off. In this episode: Why "fine," "mad," and "sad" are often standing in for more specific feelings Braydon's group project story and how "mad" turned out to be annoyed and worried A simple way to track your emotional triggers using just three quick notes Jake's story, how one pause changed an entire argument with friends A few in the moment tools to try, including breathing, journaling styles, and a body scan This week's challenge: three times this week, try answering "how are you doing" with a more specific word than fine, mad, or sad, even if it's just in your head. Then pick one tool from the episode, breathing, bullet point journaling, or a body scan, and try it exactly once. [The Feelings You Haven't Named Yet Worksheet Worksheet for this episode 13 download it and follow along at your own pace. Based on the book series by Agnes Blake: Anger Management for Teens: Mad to Calm Want to go deeper? Teens Emotional Wellness Workbook

  2. Sep 21

    Decode Teen Emotions: Episode 12: Digital Distress: Social Media and Your Emotional Health

    It's 7am and you're already comparing yourself to people who look like they have more going on, more followers, and a better life than you. Sound familiar? In this episode, John and therapist Susan get into what social media actually does to your emotional health, and why comparing your insides to everyone else's carefully curated outsides is never a fair fight. Page shares what it was like to experience online cruelty and want to fight back. Maya shares what happened when she deleted her apps on impulse for a week and discovered something unexpected: mental space, quiet, and a completely different relationship with her phone on the other side. Susan gives four practical tools for auditing your digital habits without giving up the things you actually value about being online. This one is honest about both sides. Social media has real benefits. It also has a real cost. This episode helps you figure out which one is winning. Based on the book "Anger Management for Teens: Mad to Calm." In this episode: Why social comparison hits differently on social media Cyberbullying: why responding angry gives the other person more material Maya's three-week digital detox and what she found on the other side A practical audit of your feed, your habits, and your phone-free zones How much of what you post is really you? 📄 Download the Episode 12 worksheet: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ly-2EgyOs9lPHDauAIpvqN34oH8k-aw4oTvt1ZFX3dw/edit?usp=sharing

  3. Aug 30

    Decode Teen Emotions: Episode 11: Fitting In vs. Being Real

    Maya hid her love of astronomy for two whole years after one uncomfortable moment in sixth grade. It made sense at the time. The problem is when hiding becomes so automatic you stop knowing what you're hiding anymore. In this episode, John and therapist Susan get into the emotional cost of performing a version of yourself all day, and what it actually takes to start being real. Maya shares what it felt like to have a big friend group and still feel completely alone, because none of them knew the real her. Susan explains why that exhaustion is real even when "nothing happened," and how the decisions we make about ourselves in moments of pain can quietly run our lives for years after the original moment has passed. This episode is about reviewing those old rules, noticing the comparison trap, and taking one small step toward letting someone see who you actually are. Based on the book "Anger Management for Teens: Mad to Calm." In this episode: The mask we wear and how hiding becomes automatic Why performing yourself all day is exhausting in a way that's hard to explain Old decisions, new questions: reviewing the rules you made about yourself The comparison trap: why comparing your insides to everyone else's outsides isn't fair How vulnerability creates connection 📄 Download the Episode 11 worksheet: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tNUjUBB2kodHW07-Mgwu2XzSh6VxjEIdZly4LNkrCfI/edit?usp=sharing

  4. Aug 15

    Decode Teen Emotions: Episode 10: Peer Pressure: The Power of Being You

    Have you ever agreed with someone just to avoid the awkward silence? Changed how you talk, what you laugh at, or what you admit to liking depending on who's in the room? In this episode, John and therapist Susan break down what peer pressure actually is, why your brain is wired to feel social rejection like physical pain, and what it costs you when you keep saying yes to things that aren't really you. Teen guest Page shares what it felt like to realize he'd been agreeing with everyone for so long he didn't know what he actually thought anymore. Susan calls it identity debt, and a lot of teens are carrying more of it than they realize. This episode gives you two practical tools: a values map to help you know yourself well enough to notice when you're drifting, and a simple framework for saying no without drama or long explanations. Because your discomfort, your values, and your gut feeling count. They're enough. Based on the book "Anger Management for Teens: Mad to Calm." In this episode: Direct vs. indirect pressure: which one is harder to resist and why Identity debt: what happens when you perform for so long you lose track of yourself Building a values map so you have something to check against when pressure hits Practising assertiveness without aggression Finding the people who know the real you 📄 Download the Episode 10 worksheet: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1If_ttHyX6F2v3-p2o_ncXgiWG1bzu8C70WNIzuPBdz8/edit?usp=sharing

  5. Jul 30

    Decode Teen Emotions: Episode 9: The Past Isn't Over Until We Face It

    Why do you keep ending up in the same arguments? Why do certain friendships hit a wall every time? Why do some reactions feel way bigger than the moment seems to call for? In this episode, John and therapist Susan get into what actually happens when you don't face the hard stuff from your past, and what it looks like when you finally do. Teen guests Page and Maya share what it's like to start tracing your patterns back to where they started. Maya realized she'd been pushing close friends away for two years, all because of something she learned at age 8. Page has been quietly noticing her own patterns since the backpack episode and finally deciding she's ready to do something about them. Susan introduces two practical tools: the pattern journal (for tracking reactions that feel bigger than the situation) and the compassionate update (for talking to the younger version of you who learned something that's still running the show). This episode won't fix everything. But it might help you get curious enough to start looking. Based on the book "Anger Management for Teens: Mad to Calm." In this episode: Why knowing something affected you is not the same as facing it Maya's story: three lost friendships and the eight-year-old behind them The pattern journal: how to become a detective of your own reactions The compassionate update: what to say to a younger version of yourself When self-reflection isn't enough and therapy is worth considering 📄 Download the Episode 9 worksheet: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dEQOB0fkPXbgaFEbYLCOFzx6drrRvrO7PPeR2I0K7Ec/edit?usp=sharing

  6. Jul 15

    Decode Teen Emotions: Episode 8: Home Isn't Always a Haven

    Home is supposed to be a safe place. But what happens when it isn't? In this episode, John and therapist Susan tackle the harder side of home life: sibling rivalry, financial stress, and parental conflict, and what it actually does to you emotionally when the place you're supposed to feel safe doesn't feel that way. Susan and teen guest Braydon get into what it's like to carry tension you can sense but nobody explains. Why teens almost always know something is wrong even when adults try to hide it. And why so many teens quietly blame themselves for things that were never their fault or their responsibility. This episode is about naming what's making home hard, recognizing how it shows up in your body, and building a toolkit for getting through the heavy days without having to fix everything at once. Based on the book "Anger Management for Teens: Mad to Calm." In this episode: Sibling rivalry and the roles we get assigned without choosing them The "silent shadow" of financial stress and why not knowing is often worse Why parental conflict activates your nervous system even when you try to ignore it How to separate the weather from the climate Building your toolkit for the hard days 📄 Download the Episode 8 worksheet: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-Qz9ch_9zqQDpilpUgUvoaS6VrYG9RCrc5OX125RENE/edit?usp=sharing

  7. Jun 30

    Decode Teen Emotions: Episode 7: Family Pressure or Family Peace?

    Do you ever feel like you're carrying an invisible scorecard at home, constantly being measured against expectations you never agreed to? In this episode, John and therapist Susan unpack where family pressure actually comes from (hint: it's usually love and anxiety, not criticism), and teen guest Braydon shares what it's like to carry that low-level hum every day. Susan and Braydon explore the difference between performing for your family and actually living with them, and why that gap quietly builds resentment. They also dig into the generational divide: why your parents' solutions often don't fit your problems, and how to start bridging that gap with one honest conversation. You'll walk away with a simple framework for naming what you need, creating calm corners, and starting the kind of real connection most families never quite get to but wish they had. Based on the book "Anger Management for Teens: Mad to Calm." In this episode: The invisible scorecard and who set the expectations Why pressure usually comes from fear, not criticism Performing vs. living: are you always "on" at home? What parents don't know they don't know How to name what you need without it turning into a fight 📄 Download the Episode 7 worksheet: https://docs.google.com/document/d/14X_xD5gDJI17Btm1jpH_DWKaUlz90xbzmbEqpSqWAoA/edit?usp=sharing 

  8. Jun 15

    Decode Teen Emotions: Episode 6: Why am I like This? Unpacking the Past to Understand the Present

    Have you ever reacted to something and wondered why it hit so hard? In this episode, host John sits down with teen emotional wellness expert Susan and teen guest Page to answer one of the most searched questions teens type into Google at midnight, "Why am I like this?" and what your past actually has to do with how you feel right now. Page opens up about going disproportionately hurt every time someone cancels plans, and traces it all the way back to a Monday morning in fifth grade that changed how her brain reads certain situations. John gets honest about his own avoidant tendencies and what growing up with an emotionally distant dad still shows up in how he parents today. Susan breaks down attachment styles, emotional imprints, and the story of Leo, a teen who spent years shutting down every time someone raised their voice, until he finally understood why. By the end of this episode, you will understand that your patterns have roots, and knowing those roots is the first step to changing them. In this episode: Why early experiences leave marks on your emotional skin even when you don't remember them What attachment styles are and how to recognize yours How Leo's nervous system was still following a rule from childhood years later The three questions that help you trace a big reaction back to where it actually started Why you don't need a big trauma to deserve support This week's challenge: Think of one reaction you had recently that felt bigger than the situation called for. Sit with these three questions and write them down: What just happened? What did that remind me of? And what was I actually afraid of? Backpack Check Worksheet download it and follow along at your own pace. Based on the book series by Agnes Blake: Anger Management for Teens: Mad to Calm Want to go deeper? Teens Emotional Wellness Workbook

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About

Real tools for teen anger, confidence, and communication for teens and the parents who love them. Host John, expert Susan, and a teen guest decode what's really going on beneath the surface, covering the real situations teens face every day.

Information

  • Creator
    Agnes Blake
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    14
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2026 All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    Decode Teen Emotions Podcast