Doing it Messy

Ruth James
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  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Doing It Messy is for women who are competent, ambitious… and still figuring it out. If you’re juggling too many things, navigating burnout, a career change, or just feel stuck in a life that looks good on paper but doesn’t feel like yours, this is for you. Each episode, Ruth, a lawyer, coach, and founder of VIP Mindset in Aotearoa New Zealand, shares honest reflections on work, identity, ambition, and what it looks like to keep going when things don’t go to plan. She brings a values and strength based lens to her reflections, and is doing it imperfectly beside you. Because something is better than nothing, and sometimes, we just have to do it messy. Check out www.thevipmindset.com for more

  1. Oct 8

    On Her Own Terms: Steph Dyhrberg on balance in a career that doesn't allow for it

    In this conversation, Steph talks about her life experience and how she looks after herself in a career that doesn't really allow for balance. She's refreshingly honest about the messy parts of her life, why she's so passionate about this work, and how much still needs to be done. If you've ever wondered how women doing big, demanding work actually hold it all together (or don't), this one's for you. Want to design a life on your own terms? Join me for Design a Life You Love, an in-person workshop in Wellington on Friday 23 October. Book here: https://www.thevipmindset.com/event-details/design-a-life-you-love-in-person-workshop

  2. Oct 1

    525,600 minutes: how to value your time and energy

    There are 525,600 minutes in a year. So how are you actually spending yours? In this solo episode of Doing It Messy, Ruth explores why our time and energy are some of the most valuable things we have, and why taking that seriously doesn't mean turning every moment into a productivity project Want to go deeper? Sign up for the Design a Life You Love Workshop. Book here: https://www.thevipmindset.com/event-details/design-a-life-you-love-in-person-workshop

  3. Sep 25

    Why Rituals Matter: Grief, Gratitude and Celebrating the Small Wins

    Ruth reflects on how rituals help us heal by acknowledging loss, gathering together, and letting sorrow and laughter sit side by side. She shares ideas from anthropologist Dimitris Xygalatas on why shared, in-person rituals build belonging, and from Harvard researcher Michael Norton on what turns a habit into a meaningful ritual. You'll hear simple family rituals you can start today, like blessing the kai and "high-low buffalo," a way to share a high, a low and something interesting from your day. Ruth also talks about why celebrating wins and milestones matters even more in hard times, why Pride is a powerful act of joy, and how to reflect on your year by balancing accountability with grace. Topics: rituals vs habits, grief and healing, family rituals, gratitude, celebrating wins, self-reflection, intentional living

  4. Sep 18

    Why normal doesn’t work: on careers, parenthood, and designing life on our own terms

    Society sold us one version of "normal" and it was never built for most of us. This episode unpacks some mental load research, the gender pay and leadership gaps, and why questioning inherited expectations around career, relationships and family is the first step toward building a life that's actually yours. Values, strengths, impact, and how to start designing it on your own terms.

  5. Sep 10

    Whose Life is it Anyway? Reclaiming your life from other peoples’ expectations.

    What happens when you stop making life decisions based on what everyone else expects, and start asking whose life this actually is? Ruth shares the personal story behind The VIP Mindset, why values like Freedom and Matatika reshaped her choices after burnout at 29, and announces a new interview series, On Her Own Terms, spotlighting women who've built values-led lives outside the expected script. A conversation about obligation versus intention, for anyone questioning burnout, midlife change, or what a values-led life actually looks like from Aotearoa New Zealand.

  6. Sep 4

    Good Girl, Undone: How burnout, ADHD, and one messy divorce built this podcast

    This is the full story of how a self-loathing people-pleaser with undiagnosed ADHD became the founder of VIP Mindset: the burnout, the slow unravelling of a life that never fit, and the field of period pain where this whole podcast began. I don’t tell you this to say I got it right. I tell you because I know what it’s like to feel like something’s off and not know how to change it.

  7. Aug 27

    Wear the rhinestones

    Have you ever put something off because you assumed there would always be time? In this episode, I’m reflecting on knowing what we want, building towards the opportunities we hope for, and being brave enough to take the leap when they arrive. From saving for a future home and taking singing lessons to jumping into cold water to see turtles and starting the dance floor in a gold sequin gown, this is a gentle reminder not to spend so long preparing for life that we forget to live it. And if you’re worried about what people think? Wear the rhinestones anyway. www.thevipmindset.com

  8. Aug 20

    Who are we choosing to be today?

    What does it mean to choose who you want to be, even when you know you’ll never get it perfectly right? Today I’m sharing a story about a childhood friend, a moment I wish I’d handled differently, and the loss that changed the way I try to show up in the world. But ultimately, this episode is about something bigger: identity, and the choices we make about who we want to be. Because we don't have to be perfect. We just have to know who we're trying to become. Who are you choosing to be today? Content note: This episode includes discussion of suicide and grief

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About

Doing It Messy is for women who are competent, ambitious… and still figuring it out. If you’re juggling too many things, navigating burnout, a career change, or just feel stuck in a life that looks good on paper but doesn’t feel like yours, this is for you. Each episode, Ruth, a lawyer, coach, and founder of VIP Mindset in Aotearoa New Zealand, shares honest reflections on work, identity, ambition, and what it looks like to keep going when things don’t go to plan. She brings a values and strength based lens to her reflections, and is doing it imperfectly beside you. Because something is better than nothing, and sometimes, we just have to do it messy. Check out www.thevipmindset.com for more

Information

  • Creator
    Ruth James
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    33
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Ruth James
  • Show Website
    Doing it Messy