Just Breathe

Tracie Keesee

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The official Just Breathe podcast hosted by Tracie Keesee

1d ago

The Lives We Don't Talk About: Understanding And Preventing First Responder Suicide

Welcome back to Just Breathe, where we explore the intersection of leadership and the science of self-regulation in public safety. This episode is unlike anything we've done before — over the next three episodes, we're going to talk openly about one of the most painful and often avoidable realities in public safety: first responder suicide. This is "The Lives We Don't Talk About." Our hope isn't simply to discuss statistics — it's to honor lives, learn from the research, challenge our culture, and equip leaders, agencies, and families with practical strategies that can help save lives. Dr. Tracie L. Keesee is joined by Dr. Jeff Thompson, a research scientist and 20-year veteran of the NYPD, whose work has become instrumental in changing how law enforcement understands suicide prevention. Together they dig into why this subject stays buried in silence, why the data alone can never tell the full story, and why the goal isn't just keeping people alive — it's helping them thrive. A note before you listen: this episode includes discussion of suicide, trauma, depression, and cumulative stress. If you've lost a colleague, friend, or loved one, or if these topics are personally difficult, please listen at your own pace. If you recognize yourself in this conversation, know that asking for help is a sign of courage, not weakness — and you are not alone. WHAT WE COVER Why suicide remains one of the hardest topics to raise in public safety — and how stigma, not lack of concern, keeps the profession from talking about it openly Why reducing suicide to a single cause or a "checklist" of warning signs misunderstands how complex and individual each case really is Why statistics alone can't carry the full story — and why qualitative research and narrative are essential to honoring the humanity behind every data point How career stage, organizational stress, and personal circumstance intersect differently for every person, and why the same risk factors can mean something entirely different at year two versus year twenty The NASA astronaut model Dr. Thompson borrows for his work — why the goal for first responders, like astronauts, isn't just "getting by," it's thriving before, during, and after a career Why identity — not rank, title, or years of service — is what so many first responders lose when they retire, and why that loss can feel like staring into an abyss Why unresolved organizational stress, toxic workplace culture, and unaddressed bullying consistently rank as the number one stressor in policing, above the trauma of the job itself Dr. Thompson's case against relying on peer support programs and therapy dogs alone — and why real resilience means asking what you're personally doing to shape the culture around you Practical guidance for supervisors and leaders: get trained in peer support, learn how to ask directly about suicide, and know when your role isn't to fix the problem but simply to sit with someone Why first responders become so skilled at hiding emotional pain — and the cognitive dissonance of excelling at the job while struggling personally Why the skills built to check on coworkers need to come home too — checking in on spouses, kids, and neighbors, not just partners on shift RESOURCES MENTIONED If you or someone you know is in immediate danger or considering suicide, call or text 988 or reach out to the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. CopLine — 1-800-267-5463 — a confidential peer support hotline staffed by retired law enforcement officers Safe Call Now — 1-206-459-3020 — a confidential referral service for first responders and their families Your agency's peer support team, Employee Assistance Program, chaplain, or mental health professional ABOUT DR. JEFF THOMPSON Dr. Jeff Thompson is a research scientist who develops and delivers evidence-based, practical intervention strategies to enhance resilience and support individuals' ability to manage crisis. He spent 20 years and 9 months with the New York City Police Department before turning his research toward suicide prevention, work that now spans first responders, the military, health care professionals, and others in high-stress professions. His approach draws on both qualitative and quantitative research, and includes work studying how NASA prepares, supports, and debriefs astronauts before, during, and after missions — insight he applies to how public safety agencies should care for people across an entire career, from recruit to retirement. ABOUT THE JUST BREATHE PODCAST Just Breathe with Dr. Tracie L. Keesee is a leadership platform for first responders and public safety professionals. Each episode explores how leadership, judgment, accountability, and wellness are shaped by the internal state of the leader making the decision — on the street, in the command staff meeting, and at home. New episodes drop every other week. Control the breath. Control the moment.
Aug 20

Men’s Health in Law Enforcement Chief Jack Cauley

For many in public safety, strength has always meant endurance — how much you can carry, how much you can power through. But what happens to that mindset when it comes to your own health? Dr. Tracie L. Keesee welcomes back Chief Jack Cawley of Castle Rock PD for a candid conversation about men's health, the habits that keep leaders from asking for help, and what real modeling looks like from the top of an organization. WHAT WE COVER Why men's health is one of the hardest topics to raise in public safety — and how "suck it up" culture still lingers from a generation taught to work through injury and illness Why Castle Rock PD made mental health check-ins mandatory for everyone, including the chief, to remove the stigma of asking for help Chief Cawley's own aha moment: realizing his calendar would consume every open minute unless he intentionally protected time for himself The identity trap of policing — why so many first responders struggle to separate who they are from the rank they held, especially in retirement How Castle Rock's eFit program invests in on-site fitness, personal trainers, and paid workout time — and why the return on that investment goes far beyond physical health Why so many men find it easier to help others than to ask for help themselves The practical case for building wellness habits early in a career, before symptoms force the issue What real leadership modeling looks like — and why officers can tell the difference between a chief who talks about wellness and one who protects the time to practice it The one cultural shift Chief Cawley believes would do the most good: building an organization where people feel psychologically and physically safe enough to have honest conversations without fear of consequences ABOUT CHIEF JACK CAWLEY Chief Jack Cawley began his career as a police dispatcher before spending 25 years with the Overland Park Police Department in Kansas. Since January 2012, he has served as Chief of Police for the Castle Rock Police Department in Colorado, where he has championed mandatory wellness check-ins, on-site fitness investment, and a leadership culture built around modeling — not just mandating — officer wellness. ABOUT THE JUST BREATHE PODCAST Just Breathe with Dr. Tracie L. Keesee is a leadership platform for first responders and public safety professionals. Each episode explores how leadership, judgment, accountability, and wellness are shaped by the internal state of the leader making the decision — on the street, in the command staff meeting, and at home. New episodes drop every other week. Control the breath. Control the moment.
Aug 6

Beyond Resilience: Mindfulness Coaching for Public Safety with Suzanna Hasnay

Resilience gets talked about so often in public safety that the word has almost lost its meaning. Dr. Tracie L. Keesee sits down with Susanna Harsnay, a retired 20-year FBI agent turned mindfulness coach, to redefine what resilience actually is, why "bouncing back" is the wrong goal, and what mindfulness really requires of the people who practice it. WHAT WE COVER The signs someone appears resilient on the outside while struggling internally — and why outward composure is not a reliable signal Why "resilience" has become a loaded word for younger first responders, and how organizations sometimes misuse it to shift accountability for systemic problems onto individuals Susanna's definition of resilience: not the ability to do hard things, but the ability to move through them and come out healthier on the other side Why "bouncing back" isn't real — and what actually changes in a person after crisis or cumulative trauma The first thing high-performing first responders discover about themselves once they start a mindfulness practice Why "I don't have time for mindfulness" doesn't hold up — and what the research says about tiny, minute-long practices The difference between meditation and mindfulness, and why you don't need a cushion to practice either The one takeaway Susanna wants every listener to walk away with: mindfulness is the foundation for every decision we make ABOUT SUSANNA HARSNAY Susanna Harsnay is a retired FBI agent who served for over 20 years before transitioning into mindfulness coaching. A former dance major and ballet dancer, she discovered the power of mindfulness while working through her own unaddressed stress and trauma, and has since dedicated her work to bringing mindfulness practices, leadership development, and coaching to law enforcement, public safety, and other trauma-facing professions. ABOUT THE JUST BREATHE PODCAST Just Breathe with Dr. Tracie L. Keesee is a leadership platform for first responders and public safety professionals. Each episode explores how leadership, judgment, accountability, and wellness are shaped by the internal state of the leader making the decision — on the street, in the command staff meeting, and at home. New episodes drop every other week. Control the breath. Control the moment.
Jul 23

What the Research Tells Us With Dr. Jessenia Ogunade

We talk a lot about breathwork and mindfulness on this show — but what does the actual research say? Dr. Tracie L. Keesee sits down with Dr. Yesenia Ogunande, a retired 20-year NYPD officer turned psychologist, to separate the evidence from the anecdotes and dig into what's really working — and what's still missing — in first responder wellness. WHAT WE COVER What we know with confidence about first responder physical, mental, and social wellness — and the gaps still missing from the research, including a global south perspective and the officer's own lived experience The real reason most officers skip wellness programs — and it isn't the one you'd expect How leadership can move beyond performative wellness programs to ones that actually get used Why "how are you doing?" has to be asked more than once before you get a real answer What agencies should be doing differently to support officers from recruitment through retirement — and why check-ins can't stop after the first five years Innovative models worth stealing, including Arizona DPS's paid sabbatical program What skeptics still get wrong about breathwork and mindfulness — and the neuroscience that explains why the practice works Why box breathing doesn't work for everyone, and how to find the self-regulation tool that actually fits The one truth about wellness programs that every chief needs to hear: you can't build something for officers without officers ABOUT DR. YESENIA OGUNANDE Dr. Yesenia Ogunande is an international psychologist, licensed social worker, executive coach, and educator, and a retired NYPD officer with 20 years of law enforcement experience. She is the founder of Lemoire Counseling Services, a trauma-informed practice supporting first responders, particularly women, and serves as faculty and clinical supervisor at the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy in New York City. Her work focuses on trauma, recovery, leadership development, and culturally responsive wellness practices. ABOUT THE JUST BREATHE PODCAST Just Breathe with Dr. Tracie L. Keesee is a leadership platform for first responders and public safety professionals. Each episode explores how leadership, judgment, accountability, and wellness are shaped by the internal state of the leader making the decision — on the street, in the command staff meeting, and at home. New episodes drop every other week. Control the breath. Control the moment.
Jul 9

Stronger Together

We spend a lot of time talking about what happens on the job. But what happens when the first responder comes home? The shift work, the silence, the faces that say everything without saying a word — the family feels all of it. And almost no one prepares them for it.Dr. Tracie L. Keesee sits down with Dr. Ellen Kirschman — retired psychologist, author, and one of the foremost voices in first responder family wellness — for a candid, compassionate conversation about what it really means to love someone in uniform and what families need to survive it together. WHAT WE COVERWhy no other job spills into home life as fast or as powerfully as first responder workThe most devastating challenge first responder families face — and why it starts before the first shift endsWhy stonewalling happens and what it costs the people on the other side of itHow to communicate when you can't talk about what you saw — and why silence is never the answerThe rules couples should establish before the big one hits — not during itHow to help young children understand when mom or dad comes home with that faceWhat it means when a child thinks everything bad is their faultWhen it's time to seek counseling — and why you need someone who actually understands first responder cultureThe spouse who over-functions and loses themselves in the processWhy some first responders bring work communication home — and what it does to the familyWhat connection really means — and why anything that breaks it causes lasting damageThe one truth most first responders hate hearing — and why it might save their marriage ABOUT DR. ELLEN KIRSCHMANDr. Ellen Kirschman is a retired psychologist who spent four decades counseling first responders and their families. She is the author of the landmark books I Love a Cop and I Love a Firefighter, as well as co-author of Counseling Cops: What Clinicians Need to Know. She also writes a five-book crime fiction series featuring police psychologist Dot Meyerhoff. Her career has been dedicated to supporting the wellness of those who serve — and the families who stand beside them. RESOURCES MENTIONEDI Love a Cop by Dr. Ellen KirschmanI Love a Firefighter by Dr. Ellen KirschmanCounseling Cops: What Clinicians Need to Know by Dr. Ellen Kirschman ABOUT THE JUST BREATHE PODCASTJust Breathe with Dr. Tracie L. Keesee is a leadership platform for first responders and public safety professionals. Each episode explores how leadership, judgment, accountability, and wellness are shaped by the internal state of the leader making the decision — on the street, in the command staff meeting, and at home. New episodes drop every other week.Control the breath. Control the moment.
Jun 26

The Weight We Carry

The weight first responders carry isn't just mental — it's physical too. And for many, the two are far more connected than anyone talks about. From 425 pounds to founding a movement, from the stereotypical "fat cop" to a transformation that changed an entire department's culture, today's guests know that journey firsthand. Dr. Tracie L. Keesee sits down with Ted Stern, founder of Fit Responder, and Sergeant Aaron Lohman of the NYPD for an honest conversation about fitness, mental health, toughness, and what it actually takes to make it to retirement in one piece. WHAT WE COVER ● How Aaron went from 425 pounds and depressed to becoming a voice for first responder health ● Ted's journey from gaining 60 pounds his first two years on the job to building one of the top fitness coaching programs for first responders in the country ● The biology of stress — and why getting fit and healthy changes how your body handles pressure ● Why the stigma around mental health isn't about what the department will think — it's about what your peer next to you will say ● The misconceptions about toughness, and why admitting you need help is actually the tougher path ● What depression actually looks like in first responder culture — and why it rarely looks like sadness ● Why crash diets and all-or-nothing thinking fail first responders — and what sustainable habits look like instead ● The "Oprah effect" and why most quick fixes don't survive shift work ● What leaders can do to make wellness part of the culture instead of a side bonus ● Why living the example matters more than any wellness policy on paper ● What gives both guests hope about the future of fitness and mental health in public safety ABOUT TED STERN Ted Stern is a former law enforcement officer with over a decade of experience and a fitness coach for first responders with more than 15 years in the field. In 2017, Ted and his wife Emily founded Fit Responder, one of the top fitness coaching programs for first responders in the United States. ABOUT SERGEANT AARON LOHMAN Sergeant Aaron Lohman has served with the NYPD for more than 19 years, with experience in gang enforcement, anti-crime, and narcotics. He now works in health and wellness, helping officers improve their physical and mental health through resilience training, fitness, and nutrition. ABOUT THE JUST BREATHE PODCAST Just Breathe with Dr. Tracie L. Keesee is a leadership platform for first responders and public safety professionals. Each episode explores how leadership, judgment, accountability, and wellness are shaped by the internal state of the leader making the decision — on the street, in the command staff meeting, and at home. New episodes drop every other week. Control the breath. Control the moment.
Jun 11

Culture, Courage and Change

What does it really take to build trust — not just between officers and communities, but within the organizations themselves? And what does courage actually look like for today's first responders when the hardest battles aren't always physical? Dr. Tracie L. Keesee sits down with Dr. Kyle Dobson — Assistant Professor of Public Policy and Psychology at the Frank Batten School of Leadership and Public Policy at the University of Virginia — for a candid, research-grounded conversation about the human side of public safety, what organizations get wrong about trust, and why officer well-being isn't separate from community safety — it's the foundation of it. WHAT WE COVER What drew a researcher into the world of public safety — and why lived experience in the field mattersWhat the public doesn't see in officer interactions and why the nuance gets lost in the headlinesHow body-worn cameras changed the conversation around transparency — and where we still fall shortWhat organizations actually need to do to build trust with their own employees — not just the communityWhy listening tours only work if leaders show they were actually listeningThe science behind why self-regulation matters for both officers and the communities they serveWhat happens when an officer goes from the worst call of the year straight into a routine traffic stop — and why that transition is everythingWhy we need to rethink how we deploy first responders and build in space to process before the next callWhat courage actually looks like today — and why running into danger is only half the pictureThe low-status courage no one talks about — speaking up when the culture pushes backHow departments can normalize conversations about wellness without weakening accountability or readinessWhat gives a researcher who studies this every day genuine hope about the future of first responder cultureABOUT DR. KYLE DOBSON Dr. Kyle Dobson is Assistant Professor of Public Policy and Psychology at the Frank Batten School of Leadership and Public Policy at the University of Virginia. His work focuses on public safety organizations and how people connect across differences in intense, high-pressure environments. Through collaborations with agencies across the country, Dr. Dobson works to improve both the effectiveness and the humanity of organizations responsible for protecting others. ABOUT THE JUST BREATHE PODCAST Just Breathe with Dr. Tracie L. Keesee is a leadership platform for first responders and public safety professionals. Each episode explores how leadership, judgment, accountability, and wellness are shaped by the internal state of the leader making the decision — on the street, in the command staff meeting, and at home. New episodes drop every other week. Control the breath. Control the moment.
May 29

Where Faith Meets Stillness

What anchors you when everything around you feels uncertain? For leaders in law enforcement and public safety, self-regulation is often framed as a mental or physical skill — but today's conversation goes deeper. Dr. Tracie L. Keesee sits down with Dr. Niles R. Wilson — retired Deputy Police Director with 27 years at the Newark Police Department and Senior Pastor of Greater Cornerstone Baptist Church in East Orange, New Jersey — for an honest, grounded conversation about the intersection of spirituality, self-regulation, and leadership under pressure. WHAT WE COVER Why self-regulation isn't just mental or physical — and what's missing from the conversation How spirituality becomes a compass for morality, ethics, and decision-making under pressure Why so many first responders are spiritual but feel shamed into silence about it The three principles Dr. Wilson lives by — capacity, sincerity, and ability How morning prayer, meditation, and breathwork translate directly into high-stakes leadership moments Why the academy teaches officers how to shoot but not how to breathe — and what needs to change What leaders can do to respect and support the spiritual lives of the people they lead The honest truth about faith-driven leadership — and what it actually looks like in practice ABOUT DR. NILES R. WILSON Dr. Niles R. Wilson brings a rare combination of executive law enforcement experience and pastoral leadership. After a distinguished 27-year career with the Newark Police Department — serving as Deputy Police Director, Acting Deputy Chief, Chief of Staff, Precinct Commander, and Commander of the Professional Standards Bureau — Dr. Wilson has faithfully served as Senior Pastor of Greater Cornerstone Baptist Church in East Orange, New Jersey since 1996. He is a graduate of the FBI National Academy, a past president of the United Clergy of the Oranges, and an active member of multiple civic and law enforcement organizations. ABOUT THE JUST BREATHE PODCAST Just Breathe with Dr. Tracie L. Keesee is a leadership platform for first responders and public safety professionals. Each episode explores how leadership, judgment, accountability, and wellness are shaped by the internal state of the leader making the decision — on the street, in the command staff meeting, and at home. New episodes drop every other week. Control the breath. Control the moment.

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The official Just Breathe podcast hosted by Tracie Keesee

Creator

Tracie Keesee
Years Active

2026
Episodes

13
Rating

Clean
Copyright

© 2026