That's What She Said

Dr. Robin Buckley
  • 5.0 (3)
  • Relationships
  • Updated Semimonthly

That's What She Said is a women's podcast for women of every generation, featuring interviews spotlighting honest conversations, real-life stories, and earned wisdom from everyday women. Many of the guests are Gen X, midlife, and older women whose experiences, insights, and voices deserve more space, not less.

  1. 4d ago

    Why You Forgot How to Flirt and How to Get Your Spark Back

    What if flirting isn't something you do to get someone to like you, but a way of reconnecting with the playful, confident, magnetic part of yourself? Confidence therapist, dating strategist, image expert, and Charisma Quotient host Kimmy Seltzer returns to That's What She Said for a bonus conversation all about flirting, especially flirting after 40. Kimmy and Dr. Robin Buckley unpack why so many accomplished women feel awkward, embarrassed, or completely out of practice when it comes to flirting. They explore how rejection, relationships, aging, perfectionism, shame, and years of being responsible can slowly make women more guarded, even when part of them still wants to feel playful, attractive, and seen. Kimmy explains why good flirting has less to do with clever lines and more to do with body language, eye contact, approachability, curiosity, playfulness, and letting go of the outcome. She also shares practical ways to practice flirting when you feel rusty, including starting small, making it a game, and learning to tolerate the discomfort of being noticed. And this conversation goes beyond dating. Robin and Kimmy talk about why flirting often disappears inside long-term relationships, how couples can keep seeing each other as lovers rather than simply logistical partners, and how to distinguish harmless social warmth from outside attention that may be filling an unmet emotional need. Whether you're dating after 40, putting yourself out there after divorce or a long relationship, trying to rebuild dating confidence, or simply wanting more playfulness and connection in your life, this episode is a reminder that flirting does not have to be a performance. Sometimes it is simply permission to feel alive, visible, playful, and a little imperfect again. Pasted text Pasted text Want to discover your own flirting style? Take Kimmy's free Flirt Over 40 quiz at FlirtOver40.com and get access to her follow-up videos and flirt formula.

  2. Oct 1

    Why High-Achieving Women Feel Like Imposters and What to Do About It

    What if self-doubt is not proof that you are unqualified, and fear is not a sign that you should stop? Dr. Jill Stoddard is a psychologist, author, TEDx speaker, entrepreneur, and expert in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy who studies anxiety, courage, and imposterism. In this episode of That's What She Said, Jill joins Dr. Robin Buckley to challenge one of the most persistent beliefs holding capable women back: that they need to feel confident, ready, calm, or fully qualified before taking the next step. Jill explains why imposter thoughts are extraordinarily common, why high achievement does not make them disappear, and how perfectionism, over-preparing, doing everything alone, and trying to be "superhuman" can actually reinforce the fear that you do not belong. They also explore why women and other people who have experienced marginalization may have very rational reasons to question whether they belong in certain rooms, why discomfort often appears precisely where something matters most, and how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy can help people stop letting fear make their decisions. This conversation is not about becoming fearless. It is about becoming more willing to feel fear while still moving toward what matters. If you have ever thought, I need one more credential, a little more experience, more confidence, or just a little more time before I'm ready, this episode may change how you think about self-doubt entirely. You'll want more from Jill:  Website: https://jillstoddard.com/ Quizzes: https://jillstoddard.com/quizzes Psychologists Off the Clock podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/3h9wMoc9TZ6jNv7w1oTy7E?si=bf69962300a64d4b  We, the Sunlight podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/7w3iD26b9i6Q722EYfcQlM?si=55e7df76f64d44ed  Books: https://jillstoddard.com/books

    Why High-Achieving Women Feel Like Imposters and What to Do About It

  3. Sep 22

    It's Never Too Late to Start Over: Divorce, Self-Trust and Finding Your Voice

    Kira Hartley became a mother at 18, spent years putting her children and marriage first, and slowly learned what it costs a woman when keeping the peace means losing her own voice. At 40, Kira left a narcissistic marriage without a perfect plan for what came next. She rebuilt her life from the ground up, turned a small buying-and-selling side hustle into successful businesses, found a healthier partnership, became debt-free in her 50s, published her first book at 55, and finally allowed herself to be seen. In this episode of That's What She Said, Kira and Dr. Robin Buckley talk about starting over after divorce, leaving toxic relationships, motherhood and guilt, rebuilding self-trust, learning to speak up again, finding love after a painful marriage, and why women over 50 may finally stop caring so much about what everyone else thinks. Kira also shares one deceptively simple piece of advice for any woman who knows something in her life no longer fits: say it out loud. If you have ever wondered whether it is too late to leave, start over, pursue the dream you postponed, rebuild after divorce, or become more fully yourself, Kira's story is a reminder that your life does not have to begin on schedule to become something extraordinary. You'll want more from Kira: Etsy shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/DodOddity I Love You the Most: https://amzn.to/4ha0j7S

  4. Sep 15

    How to Stop Giving Your Power Away: Agency, Self-Awareness & Authentic Leadership

    How much of your life are you consciously choosing—and how much are you simply reacting to what happens around you? In this episode of That's What She Said, Dr. Robin Buckley speaks with Michele Risa, a leadership expert, TEDx speaker, award-winning author, and founder of Universities United. Michele has led global leadership initiatives for organizations including Microsoft, Mastercard, UnitedHealthcare, and the New York Stock Exchange. But her definition of leadership begins long before someone enters the boardroom. It begins with agency. For Michele, agency means recognizing that while you cannot control every person, event, or circumstance, you can choose how you respond. That distinction changed her life. Rather than allowing external events to dictate her inner state, she learned to pause, acknowledge what she was feeling, and decide how she wanted to move forward. Robin and Michele explore why so many capable, accomplished people reach a point where the identity that helped them become successful no longer feels authentic. We inherit beliefs from our families, absorb expectations from our culture, and learn which versions of ourselves receive approval. Eventually, however, the house, title, résumé, or carefully managed identity may stop providing the meaning we expected it to provide. That discomfort is not necessarily evidence that life is falling apart. It may be an invitation to become more conscious. Michele explains why authentic change requires more than reading a book, watching a video, or understanding an idea intellectually. Just as an athlete or musician develops mastery through consistent practice, self-awareness and emotional agency must also be practiced. Through meditation, reflection, and learning to respond rather than react, we become more capable of making decisions that reflect who we actually are. The conversation also examines what happens when people rise into leadership before learning to be honest with themselves. Technical expertise and measurable results may help someone climb the ladder, but they do not automatically produce self-awareness, emotional maturity, psychological safety, or the ability to connect with others. Innovation suffers when people are afraid to make mistakes, while collaboration becomes possible when leaders create environments grounded in curiosity rather than fear. Michele offers a powerful alternative to waiting until the end of life to consider your legacy: live it now. Your legacy is not simply what people say about you later. It is created through the choices you make, the relationships you build, the risks you take, and the values you embody today. And while personal agency begins within us, Michele is clear that growth was never meant to happen alone. The phrase is not merely I am the one I've been waiting for. It is we are the ones we've been waiting for. Connection, collaboration, and collective action are not signs of weakness; they are how meaningful change happens. In a deeply personal moment, Michele also shares her recent cancer diagnosis and how it has changed her plans to walk the Camino in Spain. Rather than abandoning the dream or forcing her body to meet the original plan, she is choosing to honor both the goal and the reality of what she may need. So if you've ever felt successful but disconnected from yourself, struggled to claim your own agency, or wondered whether the unknown might be calling you forward rather than warning you to retreat, this episode is for you. You'll want more from Michele: Website

  5. Sep 8

    Is This Actually My Life? How Women Redefine Themselves After Grief

    If you've ever looked at your life after a major loss or transition and thought, "I don't even know who I am anymore," this episode is for you. Dr. Lynn Banis spent much of her professional life studying human behavior, coaching leaders, and helping people navigate change. Then change became intensely personal. After losing her mother, brother, and husband in close succession, Lynn discovered that grief doesn't only mean missing the people you love. It can dismantle the roles, routines, relationships, and assumptions that once told you who you were. Suddenly, the woman who knew a great deal about change and transformation was confronting what she calls the "wrecking ball of life" herself. In this episode of That's What She Said, Dr. Robin Buckley and Dr. Lynn Banis have a deeply personal conversation about grief, widowhood, identity loss, loneliness, aging, life transitions, and what it really takes to build a meaningful next chapter. They talk about why American culture is so uncomfortable with grief—and why the casseroles, clichés, and "he's in a better place" comments often aren't what grieving people actually need. Sometimes the most valuable thing another person can offer is far simpler: I'm here. You don't have to talk. I'm not going anywhere. Lynn also explains why grief often changes after the first year. Once the initial emotional shock begins to lift, another reality can emerge: this life really isn't coming back. The spouse, career, family role, relationship, or identity that once organized your world is gone—and now you have to discover who you are without it. That in-between space is what Lynn calls "the messy middle": the old version of your life is gone, but the new version hasn't fully emerged. It can feel disorienting, lonely, and frustrating—until eventually the question shifts from How do I get my old life back? to What kind of life actually fits the woman I am now? Robin and Lynn also explore why women can become particularly vulnerable during these transitions. After decades spent identifying themselves as wives, mothers, professionals, caregivers, problem-solvers, and the people everyone else relies on, they may suddenly have to make choices based not on expectations—but on what they themselves actually want. And Lynn makes an important distinction for anyone afraid that creating a new life somehow betrays the one that came before it: you don't have to "move on." You can move forward. The goal isn't to erase the person or life you loved. It's to honor it while making room for what still might be possible. Now, through Women Rising Together, wisdom circles, and her work with women navigating major transitions, Lynn is creating the kind of connection she believes too many women are missing: places where women can stop pretending they're fine, share what they've learned, and help one another come back to life. Because sometimes your next chapter doesn't begin by asking, "Who should I become?" It begins by asking, "Who am I underneath everything I was expected to be?"   You'll want more from Lynn: Website

  6. Aug 30

    Why Being Right Isn't Enough

    What if the problem isn't that someone else is wrong—but that neither of you is seeing the entire picture? In this episode of That's What She Said, Dr. Robin Buckley sits down with Meagan O'Leary, former Microsoft leader, strategist, CPA, entrepreneur, and creator of The Beach Ball Paradox, a deceptively simple framework for understanding perspective, navigating disagreement, and making better decisions. After a career spanning public accounting, entrepreneurship, T-Mobile, and more than two decades at Microsoft, Meagan became fascinated by what happens when smart, capable people look at the same situation and reach completely different conclusions. Her answer isn't forced agreement. It's learning how to "tilt the beach ball" long enough to see what someone else can see without pretending your own perspective has disappeared. Robin and Meagan explore why anxiety can push us toward certainty, why expertise can sometimes make us less curious, and how leaders can ask questions that challenge a problem without making another person defensive. Meagan also explains why our culture often confuses certainty and confidence with leadership—and what more thoughtful leadership can look like instead. They also take the Beach Ball Paradox far beyond the boardroom. Meagan shares how she used perspective integration while navigating her own breast cancer treatment, weighing conflicting medical opinions while realizing that ultimately, she had to become the leader of her own health decisions. And as AI increasingly gives us access to more information and more "stripes of the beach ball," Meagan argues that human judgment may become even more important—not less. AI can gather perspectives, but humans still have to integrate the context, emotion, relationships, and consequences that technology may miss. They also talk about the danger of perspective-taking becoming self-abandonment, particularly for women who may become so practiced at considering everyone else's needs that they lose sight of their own. If you've ever wondered how someone intelligent could possibly see the same situation so differently—or struggled to make a decision when everyone seems certain they have the answer—this conversation will challenge the way you think about being right. Because wisdom may not come from finding the one correct stripe. It may come from learning to see more of the ball. You'll want more from Meagan: Website LinkedIn

  7. Aug 25

    Rewriting Your Life Story: Humor, Resilience, and Starting Over

    If you have ever looked at something painful in your past and thought, I cannot believe I let that happen, Merit Kahn has another question for you: What if you could keep the lesson without letting the pain keep writing the rest of your story? Using humor to heal does not mean pretending heartbreak, betrayal, divorce, grief, or disappointment are funny. It means finding enough lightness to loosen your grip on the story so you can decide what happens next. Merit Kahn is a Certified Speaking Professional, emotional intelligence expert, comedian, playwright, producer, and creator of the one-woman show Optimistic Personality Disorder. Her work moves between corporate leadership, comedy, storytelling, and personal growth, but underneath all of it is one consistent idea: we have more authorship over the meaning of our experiences than we sometimes realize. And Merit has had plenty of material. She spent 20 years in a relationship she describes as narcissistic, rebuilt after divorce, raised her son, navigated major career pivots, underwent preventive surgeries after discovering a BRCA gene mutation, and—just 30 days before recording this conversation—learned that the man she believed she would spend her life with had been secretly married and living a double life. Her first thought was heartbreak. Eventually, another thought arrived: Apparently she needed new material for the show. That ability to laugh does not erase the betrayal. Merit is still actively working through it. But humor gives her enough emotional space to examine what happened instead of allowing shame or anger to become her identity. In This Episode, We Talk About: Using humor to heal without bypassing grief or pain Rewriting your life story so the past does not dictate your future The downside of excessive optimism when it overrides reality Recovering after betrayal without deciding you can never trust again Recognizing relationship patterns without turning them into self-blame Using comedy to release shame around painful experiences Prioritizing yourself instead of constantly investing in someone else's potential Balancing optimism with reality, self-worth, and emotional intelligence One of Merit's biggest realizations came through her work in emotional intelligence: optimism is not automatically good simply because there is more of it. High optimism without enough reality checking can cause someone to fall in love with potential instead of evidence. It can keep a woman in a relationship longer than she should stay, convince her that circumstances will eventually improve, or encourage her to overlook information that contradicts the future she wants to believe in. Merit does not want to become less optimistic. She wants her optimism to have better judgment. That distinction has become particularly important as she examines her most recent relationship. Rather than deciding she should never trust anyone again, Merit is asking a harder question: how can she remain someone capable of deep trust while becoming more discerning about who deserves it? The episode also explores when humor helps—and when it becomes another form of avoidance. Merit believes comedy can lighten what we carry, but it cannot replace healing. If a story is still so emotionally charged that telling it publicly becomes a therapy session, it may not be ready for the stage. The goal is not to laugh so quickly that you miss the lesson. It is to reach the point where you can remember the experience, retain what it taught you, and release some of the weight attached to it. Merit also shares one of the central practices from her live show: rather than only examining the chapters already written, name the chapter you are entering. What would you call the next year of your life? The next decade? The answer creates a subtle shift from experiencing yourself as the character in someone else's story to becoming the author again. This conversation is for the woman who has survived something painful but does not want survival to become her entire personality. It is for the woman who has stayed too long, trusted the wrong person, ignored a few red flags, or looked backward and wondered how she missed what now seems obvious. So if you've ever felt embarrassed by a choice you made, struggled to trust again after betrayal, or wondered whether you could rewrite the meaning of your past without pretending it never hurt, this episode's for you. You'll want more from Merit: Website

  8. Aug 18

    Financial Confidence, Reinvention, and Taking Control Before Crisis Hits

    If you've ever felt behind, questioned your timeline, avoided your financial life, or wondered whether it is too late to start over, Jessica Scola's story will hit differently. In this episode of That's What She Said, Dr. Robin Buckley sits down with Jessica Scola, CFP®, a former CPA, Deloitte alum, Mary Kay leader, mother, and financial planner who helps women take control of their financial lives before life takes control for them. Jessica's path was anything but linear. She earned her Finance and Accounting degree from Providence College, began her career in public accounting, built a successful Mary Kay business for more than 15 years, earned three pink Cadillacs, led and mentored women, and later returned to financial planning after a life-altering season involving a NICU baby, COVID, and open-heart surgery. This conversation is about money, yes, but it is also about identity, urgency, motherhood, reinvention, leadership, health, fear, and the cost of postponing yourself. Jessica shares how the night before surgery forced her to ask, "Did I do everything?" and how that question pushed her to enroll at Boston University one month later and pursue her CFP® designation. She and Dr. Robin talk about why women often wait until crisis to admit what they really want, how financial avoidance can create shame and dependence, and why understanding your money is really about confidence, options, and power. Jessica's story is a reminder that your timeline is yours. The detours may not be wasted. They may be the exact path that teaches you who you are, what you value, and what you are finally ready to claim. You'll want to connect with Jessica: Website

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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

That's What She Said is a women's podcast for women of every generation, featuring interviews spotlighting honest conversations, real-life stories, and earned wisdom from everyday women. Many of the guests are Gen X, midlife, and older women whose experiences, insights, and voices deserve more space, not less.

Information

  • Creator
    Dr. Robin Buckley
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    29
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026
  • Show Website
    That's What She Said