MBT EN – Understanding Mentalization-Based Treatment

Jasper Manders
  • 5.0 (1)
  • Social Sciences
  • Updated Weekly

MBT – An Introduction to Mentalization-Based Treatment Discover how understanding your own mind — and the minds of others — can transform relationships, emotions, and self-awareness. This podcast series guides you through the 11 sessions of Mentalization-Based Treatment for adults, offering insight, reflection, and practical ways to strengthen your ability to mentalize.

  1. 37m ago

    #42: MBT Group Therapy > Between Letting Go and Losing Control

    🎙️ Group Session – “Between Letting Go and Losing Control” Welcome to this episode of the MBT podcast. In this episode, we step inside an MBT group therapy session where the past, present, and future seem to continuously overlap. What happens when someone becomes important to you, but you do not know whether that connection will remain? And how can someone from your past still have so much influence over what you feel today, even years later? Today, we listen to a group where loss, powerlessness, anger, and uncertainty gradually become visible. Not everything can be solved. Not everything can be controlled. And perhaps more importantly: How do you stay connected to yourself when you have no control over what someone else does? ⸻ 🧠 What is central in this episode When your mind knows something your feelings do not Sometimes you understand exactly what is happening rationally. You know the facts. You know you cannot predict everything. And yet, your emotions tell a completely different story. This session reveals just how wide the gap between knowing and feeling can sometimes become. ⸻ The fear of losing something valuable When someone finally makes you feel seen and understood, the possibility of losing that connection can hit especially hard. Not only because you miss someone. But because you fear losing something that may have been missing for a very long time. What happens when that connection suddenly becomes uncertain? ⸻ Influence that remains Another conversation within the group focuses on something that began years ago but continues to trigger powerful emotions today. Anger. Powerlessness. Disappointment. And above all, the question: Why does this person still have so much influence over me? ⸻ When something positive is difficult to trust Sometimes a situation finally begins to move in the direction you have hoped for. And yet, relief does not come. Instead, caution takes over. What is behind this? What will this cost me? Can I trust that things will really be different this time? Even positive change can feel threatening when your past has taught you to expect something else. ⸻ Taking your own position Throughout the session, increasing attention is given to an important question: How much space do you give to the other person? And how much space do you allow yourself to take? Not by fighting harder. But by exploring where your responsibility begins — and where someone else’s ends. ⸻ When the way we tell our story reveals something too Toward the end, something interesting happens. The focus shifts from the story itself to the way it is being told. Why do we sometimes need so much context before we dare to say what something actually does to us? And what happens to the people listening when the emotion only becomes visible at the very end? At that moment, the group itself becomes part of the exploration. ⸻ 🌟 The common thread The common thread in this episode is control. Control over relationships. Control over what others do. Control over what will happen. And control over what we feel. Mentalizing sometimes means accepting that we cannot have complete control. But we can explore what that uncertainty does to us. Instead of only asking: What is going to happen? We can also ask: What is happening inside me right now? ⸻ 💬 Closing This episode shows how difficult letting go can be when something — or someone — truly matters to us. Sometimes we try to think ahead. Create scenarios. Understand why something is happening. Or maintain control over something we cannot actually control. But perhaps space begins to emerge when we stop trying to predict everything. When we allow ourselves to feel what is here now. And ask ourselves a different question: “If I cannot control what the other person does… how do I want to respond to what I am feeling?”

    #42: MBT Group Therapy > Between Letting Go and Losing Control

  2. Aug 12

    #41: MBT 1 on 1 Therapy > Between Understanding Others and Standing Up for Yourself

    🎙️ Special Episode – “Between Understanding Others and Standing Up for Yourself” Welcome to this special episode of the MBT podcast. In this episode, we once again step inside a one-on-one therapy session — a place where personal growth is revealed not only through self-discovery, but also through the way our relationships begin to change. What happens when you start to change, but the people around you still respond to the person you used to be? How do you remain understanding toward others without losing yourself in the process? Today, we listen to a conversation that explores how confidence slowly begins to grow, while old relationship patterns continue to challenge that progress. And perhaps more importantly: How do you stay true to yourself without losing your connection with the people you care about? 🧠 What is central in this episode Growing in self-confidence A central theme in this session is confidence. Not only confidence in what you can do. But confidence in who you are. The client begins to trust his own judgment, make decisions based on his own values, and rely less on the expectations of others. When change creates resistance Personal growth does not only change you. It also changes the people around you. This session explores how old relationship patterns can clash with new ways of responding. Not because anyone is doing something wrong. But because change takes time—for everyone involved. Understanding others without losing yourself The client increasingly shows empathy for the struggles and emotions of those around him. At the same time, he discovers that understanding someone else does not mean abandoning his own needs. It is here that a healthier balance between empathy and self-care begins to emerge. Recognition as the foundation of connection A recurring theme is the need to feel heard and understood. Not because the other person has to agree. But because genuine connection begins with acknowledging each other’s experience. When that acknowledgment is missing, distance grows. When it is present, real dialogue becomes possible. The search for equality in relationships One question runs throughout the session: How do you remain side by side, even when you think and feel differently? The client begins to realize that equality does not require agreement. It simply requires that both perspectives are allowed to exist. 🌟 The common thread The common thread in this episode is learning to stay connected without losing yourself. More and more, the client chooses to remain true to who he is. Not out of distance. Not out of selfishness. But from the understanding that genuine connection can only exist when his own feelings, needs, and boundaries also have a place. Mentalizing supports that process. By staying curious about the other person— without forgetting yourself. 💬 Closing This episode reminds us that personal growth is not only reflected in the choices we make. It is also reflected in the way our relationships begin to change. Sometimes that brings greater peace. Sometimes it creates new tension. But every step toward being true to yourself also brings you closer to relationships where both people have the space to be seen. And perhaps genuine connection begins with one simple thought: “I can understand you… without losing sight of myself.”

    #41: MBT 1 on 1 Therapy > Between Understanding Others and Standing Up for Yourself

  3. Aug 11

    #40: MBT Group Therapy > Between Feeling and Avoiding

    🎙️ Group Session – “Between Feeling and Avoiding” Welcome to this episode of the MBT podcast. In this episode, we step inside an MBT group therapy session where a familiar dilemma takes center stage: what happens when you know there are feelings beneath the surface, yet everything inside you wants to avoid them? For many people, avoidance feels like protection. As if keeping emotions at a distance will prevent them from becoming overwhelming. But what happens when avoiding those feelings becomes the very reason they never begin to fade? Today, we listen to a group exploring how fear, anger, sadness, and injustice each shape the choices people make. And perhaps more importantly: When does avoidance protect you… and when does it begin to keep you trapped? 🧠 What is central in this episode Being afraid of your own emotions Sometimes we are not afraid of what is happening around us. We are afraid of what might happen inside us. In this session, group members explore how difficult it can be to allow themselves to fully experience sadness, anger, grief, or disappointment. And what happens when those feelings are pushed away time and time again. When injustice continues to hurt A central theme in this episode is injustice. What happens when someone says something about you that simply isn’t true? When you feel unseen. Or when you repeatedly find yourself defending who you are. The group explores why some experiences of injustice cut far deeper than others. Protecting yourself or avoiding yourself? Everyone develops ways of protecting themselves. But when does protection become avoidance? And how can you tell the difference? Throughout the session, group members begin to recognize how old survival strategies continue to influence their lives today. Who decides who you are? What happens when other people hold an image of you that doesn’t match who you truly are? Do you have to defend yourself? Do you need to prove who you are? Or can you slowly begin to trust your own view of yourself? These questions lead to some of the session’s most meaningful conversations. Making room for your emotions The session shows that emotions rarely disappear simply because we push them away. Sometimes they remain present precisely because they have never been given space. And perhaps healing begins not by solving a feeling— but by allowing yourself to experience it. 🌟 The common thread The common thread in this episode is that avoidance may create a sense of safety in the short term, but often prevents healing in the long term. Mentalizing helps us stay curious. Not only about what is happening around us. But also about what is happening within us. And perhaps it is there that we begin to discover the courage to try something different. 💬 Closing This episode reminds us that personal growth does not begin when difficult emotions disappear. It begins when we slowly discover that we may no longer need to push them away. Not because feeling them is easy. But because we are beginning to trust that we can carry them. And sometimes change begins with one simple question: “Am I protecting myself… or am I avoiding myself?”

    #40: MBT Group Therapy > Between Feeling and Avoiding

  4. Jul 18

    #39: MBT Group Therapy > Between Making Space and Taking Space

    🎙️ Group Session – “Between Making Space and Taking Space” Welcome to this episode of the MBT podcast. In this episode, we step inside an MBT group therapy session where we explore how difficult it can be to make space for yourself while continuing to care for the people around you. What begins as a series of personal reflections gradually develops into a deeper conversation about loss, responsibility, recognition, and the beliefs that quietly shape the way we live our lives. How do you know when it is okay to choose yourself? And how do you stop placing your own needs behind everyone else’s? Today, we listen to a group where curiosity, vulnerability, and different perspectives continually come together. And perhaps more importantly: What happens when you realize that the space you so willingly give to others is the very space you have never allowed yourself? ⸻ 🧠 What is central in this episode Making space for yourself A central theme throughout this session is making space. Space to grieve. Space to ask questions. Space to acknowledge your own needs. For many group members, that turns out to be far more difficult than it first appears. ⸻ When loss continues to travel with you Loss does not always fade with time. Sometimes it changes shape. Sometimes it quietly stays in the background for years. And sometimes it unexpectedly finds its way back into the present. The group explores how grief is deeply personal and unfolds differently for everyone. ⸻ Staying curious about yourself Throughout the session, one invitation keeps returning. Not only to stay curious about others. But also about yourself. Why do I feel this way? Where does this reaction come from? And what might it be trying to tell me? ⸻ Letting go of old beliefs Many of our beliefs once helped us survive. Don’t be a burden. Don’t take up too much space. Take care of everyone else first. But do those beliefs still serve us today? Or are they keeping us from living more freely? ⸻ Connection through different perspectives One of the strengths of this group session is the way members help one another without trying to solve each other’s problems. By asking questions. By remaining curious. And by allowing different perspectives to exist side by side. It is within that space that new understanding begins to emerge. ⸻ 🌟 The common thread The common thread in this episode is that personal growth often begins when you give yourself the same space that you so naturally give to others. Mentalizing is not only about understanding another person’s inner world. It is also about becoming curious about your own. And discovering that both deserve equal attention. ⸻ 💬 Closing This episode reminds us that change does not always begin with finding the right answers. Sometimes it begins by asking a different question. A question that is not only about someone else. But also about yourself. And perhaps meaningful change begins with one simple thought: “Can I give myself the same space that I so naturally give to others?”

    #39: MBT Group Therapy > Between Making Space and Taking Space

  5. Jul 7

    #38: MBT 1 on 1 Therapy > Between Caring for Others and Caring for Yoursel

    🎙️ Special Episode – “Between Caring for Others and Caring for Yourself” Welcome to this special episode of the MBT podcast. In this episode, we once again step inside a one-on-one therapy session — a place where old patterns quietly reappear, especially in the moments when someone you deeply care about is struggling. What unfolds in this session will feel familiar to many people. Someone you love is hurting. They feel disappointed. Angry. Overwhelmed. And without even realizing it, all of your attention shifts toward them. But what happens to you in that moment? Today, we listen to a conversation that reveals how easily we can lose ourselves in taking care of someone else, while our own emotions slowly fade into the background. And perhaps more importantly: How do you care for someone you love without losing yourself in the process? ⸻ 🧠 What is central in this episode When someone else’s emotions become your world Sometimes another person’s pain naturally takes center stage. You want to help. You want to understand. You want to make things better. But while all your attention is focused outward, something important is happening within you. And that can be much harder to notice. ⸻ When the younger part of you comes alive again A central theme in this episode is how old emotions can unexpectedly return. Not through major conflicts. But through quiet moments of feeling unseen, misunderstood, or emotionally disconnected. It is often in these moments that old protective patterns quietly begin to take over. ⸻ Caring as a survival strategy This session explores how caring for others once became a way of creating safety. Helping. Fixing. Adapting. Doing everything possible to make someone else feel better. But the question slowly emerges: Is this still the healthiest way to respond today? ⸻ What do I need? As the conversation unfolds, the focus gradually shifts. Not only: What does the other person need? But also: What is happening inside me? What do I need right now? And am I allowed to make space for that, even when someone else is struggling? ⸻ Making room for yourself Real change is not always found in dramatic moments. Sometimes it begins with something much smaller. A boundary. A choice. A moment of rest. Or simply recognizing that your own feelings deserve care as well. ⸻ 🌟 The common thread The common thread in this episode is finding the balance between caring for others and caring for yourself. How do you stay emotionally available for the people you love without losing yourself along the way? Mentalizing helps create that balance. By staying curious not only about the other person— but also about yourself. And by discovering that both can exist at the same time. ⸻ 💬 Closing This episode reminds us that caring for others is something deeply valuable. But it becomes truly healthy only when you do not lose yourself in the process. The more you learn to listen to what is happening inside you, the more genuinely present you can be for someone else. And sometimes change begins with one simple question: “Can I be there for you… without leaving myself behind?”

    #38: MBT 1 on 1 Therapy > Between Caring for Others and Caring for Yoursel

  6. Jul 5

    #37: MBT Group Therapy > Between Being Hurt and Truly Being Heard

    🎙️ Group Session – “Between Being Hurt and Truly Being Heard” Welcome to this episode of the MBT podcast. In this episode, we step inside an MBT group therapy session where vulnerability and connection turn out to be much closer than they first appear. What begins as a conversation about absence, responsibility, and relationships within the group gradually develops into something much more personal. What happens when you finally put into words what something truly does to you? And what happens when the other person resists the urge to explain or defend themselves, and instead first tries to understand? Today, we listen to a group exploring how difficult it can be to make yourself vulnerable without immediately moving into defensiveness or emotional distance. And perhaps more importantly: What changes when people truly feel heard? ⸻ 🧠 What is central in this episode Having the courage to be vulnerable Sometimes it is easier to create distance than to express what is really happening inside. In this session, group members begin to give words to feelings they have carried in silence for a long time. Not as blame. But as a deeply personal experience. And that becomes the beginning of a very different conversation. ⸻ Defending or connecting? When we feel hurt, our first instinct is often to explain ourselves. To justify. To defend. But does explanation always help? Or is something else needed first? The group explores how defensiveness can unintentionally create more distance, while acknowledgment creates connection. ⸻ Feeling seen A central theme in this episode is recognition. Not who is right. Not who is wrong. But the need to feel understood in what something has stirred inside. Only when feelings are given space does genuine understanding begin to grow. ⸻ Old patterns in new relationships As the conversation unfolds, it becomes clear that experiences from the past continue to shape the present. Feeling rejected. Feeling unimportant. Defending yourself. Or creating distance before someone else can. Patterns that once protected us, but which now invite a different response. ⸻ The courage to respond differently This session shows how difficult change can be. Not because people are unwilling to change. But because old reactions are often faster than new insights. Yet throughout the conversation, group members help one another slow down, reflect, and discover new ways of responding. ⸻ 🌟 The common thread The common thread in this episode is that genuine connection does not begin by convincing one another. It begins by trying to understand. Mentalizing sometimes means setting your own story aside for a moment. Not because your feelings do not matter. But because curiosity creates space for both people. And it is in that space that change becomes possible. ⸻ 💬 Closing This episode reminds us that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness. When emotions are allowed to exist without immediately being defended, explained, or solved, something new begins to emerge. Not perfection. Not certainty. But greater understanding. Deeper connection. And more room for one another. And sometimes meaningful change begins with one simple question: “Can you first understand what I’m feeling… before explaining why?”

    #37: MBT Group Therapy > Between Being Hurt and Truly Being Heard

  7. Jul 3

    #36: MBT 1 on 1 Therapy > Between Knowing and Truly Choosing

    🎙️ Special Episode – “Between Knowing and Truly Choosing” Welcome to this special episode of the MBT podcast. In this episode, we once again step inside a one-on-one therapy session — a place where old patterns become visible, but also where change proves to be more difficult than we often expect. Sometimes you know exactly what is good for you. You know you need rest. You know you want to set a boundary. You know you want to stay curious. And yet, making that choice is not always as easy as knowing it. Today, we listen to a conversation that reveals how tension is often created not by one major event, but by the accumulation of many small moments. Moments in which the client gradually realizes that he keeps putting himself second. And perhaps more importantly: Why is it sometimes so much easier to take care of everyone else than it is to take care of yourself? ⸻ 🧠 What is central in this episode When small moments begin to accumulate Sometimes there is no single major event. Instead, it is a series of small moments that slowly build emotional tension. A remark. An expectation. A misunderstanding. A promise. Individually, they seem insignificant. Together, they become overwhelming. ⸻ Taking yourself seriously A central theme in this episode is learning to take yourself seriously. Not only recognizing what you need. But also giving yourself permission to act on it. Why can that be so much harder than it seems? ⸻ The tension between speaking up and staying silent Throughout the session, the client repeatedly faces the same question: Do I say something? Or do I keep it to myself? When does silence protect you? And when does it quietly allow tension to grow? ⸻ When the bar keeps moving higher As tension increases, something else begins to happen. The expectations placed on yourself become greater. There is always one more task. One more problem to solve. One more thing to finish. Often at the very moment when rest is needed the most. ⸻ Finding rest in a restless mind The client begins to notice how difficult it can be to truly slow down. Even when the outside world becomes quiet, the mind keeps moving. Thoughts. Responsibilities. Things that still need to be done. As if every attempt to relax is interrupted by another obligation. ⸻ 🌟 The common thread The common thread in this episode is the tension between knowing and choosing. Knowing what is healthy. Knowing what you need. Yet discovering how easily old patterns can pull you in a different direction. Mentalizing helps create a different response. Not only by staying curious about other people. But also by becoming curious about yourself. And perhaps asking the most important question of all: “What do I truly need right now?” ⸻ 💬 Closing This episode reminds us that personal growth is not always found in life-changing breakthroughs. Sometimes the greatest challenge lies in the smallest decisions. The decision to rest. The decision to take yourself seriously. Or the decision not to automatically put everyone else first. And perhaps real change begins the moment you offer yourself the same care and attention that you so naturally give to others.

    #36: MBT 1 on 1 Therapy > Between Knowing and Truly Choosing

  8. Jun 28

    #35: MBT Group Therapy > Between Frustration and Connection

    🎙️ Group Session – “Between Frustration and Connection” Welcome to this episode of the MBT podcast. In this episode, we step inside an MBT group therapy session where what appears to be an ordinary everyday event unexpectedly develops into a deeper conversation about boundaries, recognition, and the ways old patterns continue to shape our reactions. Sometimes the situation itself is small. A remark. A rule. An encounter. Yet what happens inside us can be far greater than the event itself. Today, we listen to a group exploring how quickly old feelings of injustice, rejection, and not being taken seriously can be reawakened. And perhaps more importantly: What happens when you try to stay curious about yourself, while every instinct tells you to react? ⸻ 🧠 What is central in this episode When something small touches something much bigger Sometimes the event itself is not the real issue. Instead, it touches something much older. A feeling of not being seen. Not being heard. Or the experience that someone else has the power to decide what is right for you. In this session, the group explores why seemingly small situations can create such powerful emotional reactions. ⸻ Boundaries and responsibility A central theme in this episode is responsibility. Whose problem is it? What belongs to me? And what belongs to someone else? The group explores how difficult it can be to find a healthy balance between caring for yourself and carrying responsibility that was never yours. ⸻ Reacting or first understanding? When emotions rise, the natural impulse is often to react immediately. But what happens when you first become curious about what is happening inside yourself? And what changes when you become curious about the other person without losing yourself in the process? It is in that pause that something new begins to emerge. ⸻ Patterns that keep repeating As the conversation unfolds, several group members begin to recognize old protective strategies that still shape their relationships today. Withdrawing. Attacking. Keeping distance before someone else can. Patterns that once helped them survive, but now sometimes stand in the way of genuine connection. ⸻ Therapy that challenges growth Alongside the personal themes, the group also reflects openly on the therapy itself. What do you actually need in order to grow? When does guidance feel supportive? And when should therapy challenge, confront, and encourage you to move beyond your comfort zone? The discussion shows that these questions are also an important part of the therapeutic process. ⸻ 🌟 The common thread The common thread in this episode is that the greatest emotional reactions are often not caused by the event itself, but by the meaning our past gives to it. Mentalizing helps us recognize that difference. Not by pushing feelings away. But by becoming curious about what has truly been touched. And it is there that new ways of responding begin to emerge. ⸻ 💬 Closing This episode shows that personal growth is not created only through difficult conversations. It also begins with the willingness to pause and explore what lies beneath them. Sometimes change starts not with an answer… but with one honest question: “What is really being touched inside me… and why?”

    #35: MBT Group Therapy > Between Frustration and Connection
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MBT – An Introduction to Mentalization-Based Treatment Discover how understanding your own mind — and the minds of others — can transform relationships, emotions, and self-awareness. This podcast series guides you through the 11 sessions of Mentalization-Based Treatment for adults, offering insight, reflection, and practical ways to strengthen your ability to mentalize.

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