Tartly Unhinged

Tartly Unhinged
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Hello hi and welcome to Tartly Unhinged. A podcast where two toxically optimistic friends get together to yap through life, share any and all thoughts, grievances big and small all packaged into unnecessary lemon-themed segments. It’s reflective, ridiculous, and never that serious. Strap in and buckle up, because we’re here for a good time.

  1. Jun 7

    In the wild

    This week, Loz and Kym take Tartly Unhinged out of the studio and into the backyard, proving that once again that low budget means no budget and the world is in fact their oyster. A couple of Jack and Jill chairs and a healthy amount of optimism will do just fine. There are updates from the wild in every sense of the word. Loz recounts a week that started strong before being derailed by power outages, rogue dogs escaping the yard, mystery chickens, potential Easter-egger eggs, and a surprisingly passionate debate about what makes a truly elite sausage roll. Curds & Crumbs takes a more reflective turn as they unpack career expectations, burnout, ambition, and the very millennial experience of wondering whether the thing you've worked so hard for is actually making you happy. Is it a mid-career crisis or simply part of figuring out what success looks like now? Elsewhere, the pair debate which shop they'd willingly be trapped in for 24 hours, discover just how passionately they feel about IKEA, and somehow find themselves in a heated discussion about QR codes, tipping culture, and why technology isn't always making life better. It's thoughtful, chaotic, mildly unhinged, and recorded entirely in the great outdoors, just the way nature intended 🍋 🎙️

    59 min

  2. May 31

    One pirate short of a mutiny

    This week, Loz and Kym are back with cautious optimism, questionable audio quality, and a growing suspicion that their microphones are actively working against them. Despite university deadlines, workplace chaos, and an evervgrowing pile of unread emails, both somehow land on surprisingly high tart ratings. Tart Time delivers a collection of absurd workplace phrases that somehow make perfect sense, including being “one pirate short of a mutiny” and “handing out umbrellas when everyone’s already wet.” In Curds & Crumbs, the pair unpack outgrowing friendships, social media's role in keeping old connections alive, and whether some friendships are meant for a season or a lifetime. Plus, a deep dive into the Mandela Effect leaves them questioning everything they thought they knew about the Monopoly Man, Mickey Mouse, Froot Loops, and their own childhoods. Same chaos, a little tired, a little reflective and thankfully not recorded from inside a cave 🍋🎙️

    41 min

  3. May 24

    Snacks, Sand & Survival mode

    Kym and Loz are back and we’re officially international. Loz returns fresh off a South American whirlwind, rating the trip a full Zesty Perfection, from the driest desert in the world to questionable hydration strategies. Also she returns with surprising things making it through customs? Snacks, sand, and salt. Triple S. No further questions. Tart Time takes a turn into animal behaviour analysis. If animals could leave Google reviews for humans, are we getting five stars or absolutely dragged? Expect strong opinions on insects and why some household pets are quietly giving us a very passive aggressive three star rating at best. Curds & Crumbs gets deep, and is diving into the idea of “resilience.” Are we actually building it, or just slapping it on as a shiny label instead of fixing the real problem? From workplaces to life in general, it’s a very honest chat about whether “just push through” is actually helping or quietly burning everyone out. Same chaos, international seasoning, and a growing suspicion that maybe resilience isn’t the flex we think it is. 🍋🎙️

    49 min

  4. May 17

    The Bucket

    Full disclosure: this one has been a long time coming. The bucket episode is officially rescued, re-recorded and released into the world — and we are very pleased to report that no buckets were found in the making of this episode. Quick context: Kym and Loz originally recorded this episode, it was lost to audio gremlins, they canned it, they re-recorded it with varying levels of memory about what they had originally said, and this is what you are getting. Timelines are made up. We march to the beat of our own drum. In Tart Time, Loz opens with the question that briefly broke everyone's brain — if your brain had tabs open, what would they be? Kym's are running at full capacity: uni coursework, groceries, gym, places to stay, and what is for dinner, all simultaneously like a Rolodex that never fully stops. Loz's tabs are fewer but they include travel, gadgets, food, shoes, and a wireless battery-powered juicer that she purchased specifically so she can juice untethered from the wall. The financial audit was not requested. It happened anyway. The juicer is for cocktails. Moving on. The second Tart Time question: the theme song to your life. Kym's answer is exactly the same as the last time she was asked, and she has since learned that it works as a practical tool — specifically, in a room full of forty-odd blokes during deeply emotional industry training, her brain went to Sunshine Lollipops on a loop and she did not cry. It worked. She stands by it. Loz has ballpark music. Both are valid. In Curds and Crumbs, Kym asks whether hustle culture has actually gone anywhere — or whether it has simply had a rebrand. Cleaning your house is now a reset. Buying a new diary is now a new era. Getting up early for one jog is also somehow a new era. Listening to a podcast is self-improvement. Are we actually resting or are we just feeling guilty for it and slapping a shinier label on the same old grind? Do we ever actually stop? Are we seeking praise for the thing rather than doing the thing because we want to do the thing? Kym and Loz get into what a genuinely productive day actually looks like, the algorithm problem of curating your feed to aspirational creators who have full teams while holding yourself to the same standard, and the conclusion that the hustle culture rebrand is not going anywhere — we have just all agreed to call it something prettier. And in Sour Hour — which is back, and which has as much energy as the very first time — iced coffee pricing. An iced latte should not cost more than a hot coffee, size for size. The ice comes from a freezer. It is not a premium ingredient. Furthermore, why is the only available size enormous. The right to choose a small was removed without consultation and Kym wants it back. Cold foam is also still grossly overpriced, this spirals into a broader post-COVID pricing grievance about the businesses that have hitched their wagon to boutique price points without the boutique effort to match. Small businesses: different scenario, full exemption, no notes. Big business: you have had five years.. Same chaos, fewer answers. No buckets were found in the making of this film. 🍋🎙️

    54 min

  5. May 11

    Choose the good s**t

    Bonus episode. No rules. Everything is made up. Jarv is somewhere over South America with four days' notice and a suitcase that is not packed — and Kym is here, holding down the fort, talking to herself, and refusing to drop the ball. In Tart Time, Kym opens with what can only be described as a completely reasonable question — how many medieval chefs do you think got executed because the king turned out to be allergic to something? The food tester is fine. The king is not. The cook is gone. They were wronged by the system. This spirals, as most things do, into leeches — specifically, the childhood leech incident that has haunted Kym ever since, the solution being salt, and the very real possibility that she will be stopped by border security in South America carrying a one-kilogram bag of Saxa. Also: Pisco Sours are definitely a white spirit. Probably. Report to follow. In Curds and Crumbs, things get unexpectedly deep for a bonus episode. Is happiness a choice, or is it just a byproduct? Kym lands somewhere genuinely honest — yes, it is a choice, but it is not an easy one. We are wired to find the negative. You have to actively stop, redirect, and remind yourself of why you wanted to be exactly where you are. She has been doing this since her apprenticeship. It is a practice. And then there is her mum's rule, delivered at the family dinner table on repeat throughout her childhood — shit happens, and if you're lucky enough, a lot of sh*t will happen to you — which sounds like the most pessimistic thing anyone has ever said, and is actually the most optimistic thing Kym has ever heard. A big, full life means a big, full range of everything. The good and the bad. That is the whole point. Choose the good sh*t. And in For the People, Kym reads your comments back. Someone else has seen a deceptively fast wombat and Kym's theory is vindicated. Womberham Lincoln — Wombat President — has been requested for merch and the tech lady is taking it as an action. Brisbane cold foam: terrible. Melbourne cold foam: better. The moon landing is, according to one listener, definitely fake, and more needs to be done to prove it. AI is coming for resume writing. The Sunshine Lollipops song divided the room. Kym didn't filter the bad ones. She would like you to know that. Same chaos. Zero Jarv. Choose the good sh*t. 🍋🎙️

    34 min

  6. May 6

    Full Circle

    Full Circle 🍋 Kym and Loz are back with another lemon-tart rated week — and this one's got range. Kym went to a chicken fair. Yes, a chicken fair. She nearly bought a velociraptor, successfully acquired five baby chicks (meet Butter, Eggs, Earl, Ethyl and Iggy — named after the original crowd surfer), and is now accepting godparent applications from Loz. Loz got the sandwich. The pre-ordered, much-anticipated, three-weeks-in-the-making sandwich. The arc is complete. The people have been fed. In Tart Time, Kym and Loz tackle the questions nobody asked but everyone needs to answer — if life was a video game, what level are you on and how many lives do you have left? (Spoiler: a skateboarding incident may have cost someone a life. A faster board was involved. It did not go well.) Plus, if your life was an ice cream flavour, what would it be? Hokey Pokey vs Foundational with Pizzaz. Discuss. In Curds & Crumbs, Kym sets the scene with a 500-comment Facebook food poisoning thread, Google AI being used as courtroom evidence, and the question at the centre of it all — has the internet made it too easy to say anything without actually standing behind it? Kym's granddad had two rules for life. One of them matters more than ever right now. And in In the Mix, Kym and Loz go full circle. Dinner at the table. Shower timers. Turning off the lights when you leave the room. The uncomfortable moment you realise your parents might have been right — and you're doing the exact things you swore you never would. Also: Jarv is heading to South America. A pre-recorded episode is incoming. The bucket is being lifted. We will not drop the ball. Same chaos, fewer answers. 🍋🎙️

    45 min

  7. Apr 28

    Back by popular demand

    Kym and Loz are back with a week that should have been a clean four… if not for one devastating, character-building, emotionally scarring event: the sandwich that never happened. Optimism was high, but outcomes were not. Tart Time gets nostalgic in the best way as birthday planning takes a turn into early 2000s core. We’re talking pass the parcel, chocolate games, fairy bread debates (correct sprinkles only, please), and a passionate plea to bring back proper papermache. It’s less “event planning” and more “healing our inner child through snacks and mild competition.” Curds & Crumbs goes deceptively deep with a “nothing is real, everything is made up” spiral into life timelines. Why do we feel behind when the rules don’t actually exist? From career pivots to societal expectations, it’s a very real chat about invisible pressure, changing paths, and defending your life choices when they don’t fit the so called plan. And in a chaotic new segment (name pending, structure optional), we unpack just how much life has changed. Like in one lifetime we’ve gone from boiling water for showers to ordering thai from the couch. Progress? Yes. Slightly alarming? Also yes. Same optimism, fewer sandwiches, and absolutely no clearer answers. 🍋🎙️

    42 min

  8. Apr 13

    Maximum chaos, minimum sense

    Kym and Loz are back with a week that somehow lands between night shift chaos, Easter egg hunts for adults (which absolutely slap), and the rare, elusive “no fires at work” energy. Tart Time serves up the ultimate hypothetical: your last meal on earth. Naturally, it spirals into a completely unhinged menu featuring the lemon tart that started it all. No cohesion, no regrets. Curds & Crumbs gets a little deeper with a chat about why we’ve become so bad at sitting still. Why do we wait for people to do things we could just go and do? Are we actually living, or just planning to live later? No solutions offered, just mutual exposure. And to wrap things up, we question whether we are original thinkers or just highly curated products of our For You Pages. From accidental TikTok phrases entering daily vocab to sudden confidence in hobbies we absolutely will not follow through on, it’s giving influence, but make it selective. Maximum chaos, minimum sense and questionable independence with a growing suspicion we should all just do the thing anyway. 🍋🎙️

    41 min
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About

Hello hi and welcome to Tartly Unhinged. A podcast where two toxically optimistic friends get together to yap through life, share any and all thoughts, grievances big and small all packaged into unnecessary lemon-themed segments. It’s reflective, ridiculous, and never that serious. Strap in and buckle up, because we’re here for a good time.

Information

  • Creator
    Tartly Unhinged
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    19
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Tartly Unhinged
  • Show Website
    Tartly Unhinged