The Kindness Code

Carmel Saulbrey

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The Kindness code is a heart-led podcast hosted by Carmel Saulbrey and Chelsea Bailey. The podcast is focused on supporting and connecting with children through everyday acts of Kindness. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

1d ago

The Kindness Code - Episode 10 - with Jane Keenan

This is so important. Please share this with anyone who works in children’s homes, foster care, education, or anywhere around children who have been let down by adults. Loved this convo with Jane Keenan - she has 37 years experience and this podcast is incredible for learning - because making difference in care is about is constantly learning: How we show up better for our kids. How we put our ego aside. How we stop needing to be seen as the good adult and make sure we are the safe adult. Self awareness, self care and most importantly being committed to continually learning and growing is the key to this incredibly important but often exhausting work. Our kids need adults who can reflect, apologise, repair, and keep learning. We also talked about the work Jane is doing around care-experienced adults - importantly her new podcast The Emerging Changemakers Podcast (release date TBC) There are so many powerful voices in this space - people who experience care and have actual lived experiences to share - and they are helping to shape the sector. I’ve spoken to a lot to care leavers and the same message comes through - believe in the kids, believe that they can and will, have aspirations for them. Because if we only talk about the worst outcomes, what subliminal expectations are we putting on our children? “We have no business capping the aspiration and opportunities for our children, simply by bringing a belief that they will never amount to anything." CARE LEAVERS CAN AND DO. This line should be in every home, every school, every team meeting. Please get your teams to listen to this episode 🎧 Listen now: Youtube: https://lnkd.in/ef-9RHKQ Apple podcasts: https://lnkd.in/eVdaqc2Z Spotify: https://lnkd.in/edHNHB2k Learn more here: https://lnkd.in/eh-CQYhN https://lnkd.in/e4Cb-Jgt Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

47 min
Jun 3

The Kindness Code - Episode 9 - The 2am shift

The 2am shift: therapeutic parenting when you're exhausted, understaffed and on your own It's 2am. A young person is in crisis. You've been on shift for nine hours. And someone in your training told you to stay regulated. This episode gets honest about what therapeutic parenting really looks like at the sharp end of a night shift - why night time is uniquely triggering for looked after children, what the window of tolerance means when you're running on empty, and what organisations consistently get wrong about supporting the people doing this work. Plus, three things any residential worker can do tonight. Identity, culture & belonging: who am I when my story keeps changing? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

38 min
May 27

The Kindness Code - Episode 8 - with Sam Gardner

"I didn't leave the care system. The care system left me." Sam Gardner spent 21 years in care. He now delivers transformative talks and training for those supporting care-experienced children -and is one of the most powerful voices in the sector. His message to anyone working with children in care comes down to one word: Stay. Stay when they push you away. Stay when they call you Mum and then never call anyone Mum again. Stay when the seeds you plant won't grow for ten years. This episode broke me a little. I hope it lands with you too. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

52 min
May 20

The Kindness Code - Episode 7 - How to make a house a home

What makes a house feel like home for a child in care? In this episode, we explore how emotional safety, consistent relationships, and everyday moments of connection create a true sense of belonging. Because a home isn’t just where a child lives - it’s where they feel safe, seen, and accepted, even on the hard days. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

23 min
May 13

The Kindness Code - Episode 6 - with Andy Baker

You know when you buy a new car, and suddenly you see the same car everywhere? The cars haven’t magically multiplied. Your brain has just started noticing what you’ve told it to look for. This came up in this week’s episode of The Kindness Code Podcast with Andy Baker, author of Targeting the Positive with Behaviours that Challenge - and honestly, it really stopped me. Because if a whole staff team keeps saying, “This young person is aggressive”… What are we training everyone to see? Aggression. Every time. And then even the smaller things, the things we might not have noticed before, start getting pulled into that same story. That is powerful. And it’s dangerous. The answer isn’t just “catch them being good.” That sounds lovely, but it’s far too vague. The real work is identifying the positive incompatible behaviour - the thing the young person can’t do at the same time as the behaviour we’re worried about. So if we’re worried about abusive language, the opposite might be respect. But “respect” on it’s own doesn’t mean much unless we define it properly. What does respect actually look like in this home, on this shift, with this child? It might be speaking kindly. Holding a door. Walking away rather than escalating. Helping someone who is struggling. That’s what we need to train our brains to notice. And as always in care, the work starts with the adults first. Able Training | Training made easy. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

33 min
May 6

The Kindness Code - Episode 5 - with Bethaney Dixon

More than a label This week on The Kindness Code, we’re joined by Bethaney Dixon. From lived experience to building a movement… Bethaney shares how her own journey through the care system led her to create Adelphi – turning lived experience into a growing movement that supports care-experienced people through guidance, community, and partnerships across the UK. Together, we explore what it really means to move beyond stigma and labels - and how awareness, education, and empowerment are key to creating lasting change. Because support shouldn’t stop at independence. Adelphi – Adulting, Together™ | Digital Support for Care Leavers & Organisations Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

49 min
Apr 29

The Kindness Code - Episode 4 - Managing disclosures: when a child tells you something big

Managing disclosures: when a child tells you something big It rarely happens when you expect it. It happens in the car. At the sink. Mid-cartoon. In the silence after a hard day — when a child finally decides you're the one they're going to tell. What you say in the next ten seconds matters more than almost anything else you'll do in your shift. In this episode, Carmel and Chelsea talk through how to respond when a child discloses something difficult — in a way that protects them, holds the trust they've just handed you, and keeps you steady when your own stomach drops. We cover: Why disclosures almost never look like disclosuresThe two phrases that should be muscle memory for every adult working with children: "I'm really glad you told me.""I may need to share this to help keep you safe, but I'll support you through it."Why "promising to keep a secret" is the single most damaging response — and what to say insteadHow to manage your own reaction in the moment (because children read your face before they hear your words)What happens after the disclosure — and why your job isn't done when the conversation endsBecause how a child is met in that moment shapes whether they'll ever tell anyone again. Press play. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

24 min
Apr 22

The Kindness Code - Episode 3 - Why transitions are so hard for looked after children

A new placement. A new school. A new key worker. A new bedtime. For most children, transitions are uncomfortable. For looked after children, they can feel catastrophic — and the behaviour that follows is almost always misread. In this episode, Carmel and Chelsea go beneath the surface of what's really happening when a young person "kicks off" during change — and why the nervous system doesn't care that the move is "for their own good." We talk about: What transitions actually trigger in a child with a history of lossWhy the smallest changes (a new shift pattern, a different mug, a swapped routine) can land harder than the big onesHow adults unintentionally make transitions worse — even with the best intentionsWhat regulation, safety, and trust look like in practice when everything feels unstableThe difference between managing a transition and holding a child through oneBecause transitions aren't events. They're experiences — and how we show up during them shapes what a child believes about adults for years to come. Press play. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

21 min
Apr 14

The Kindness Code - Episode 2 - Behaviour is communication

Children don't behave in challenging ways "just because." Behaviour is communication — their voice when words fail. In this episode, Carmel and Chelsea unpack what it means to treat behaviour as a message rather than a problem to stop. Chelsea shares the story of AJ, a young person whose withdrawal, shouting and breaking of items felt personal to staff — until they noticed the pattern. His behaviour always escalated before family visits. Once the team understood the message, they could prepare him emotionally, offer choices, and create space to decompress afterwards. Incidents decreased. Connection grew. They also talk about validating emotions without giving in, holding boundaries thoughtfully, and the role of rupture and repair in real-life practice. Takeaway: pause and ask — what is this behaviour trying to tell me? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

23 min
Apr 8

The Kindness Code - Episode 1 - Connection not correction

In this episode, Carmel and Chelsea explore one of the most important ideas in residential childcare: connection not correction. When a child is dysregulated, correction doesn't reach them - because they don't feel safe. And when a child doesn't feel safe, they can't learn or reflect, only protect themselves. Chelsea shares what she's learned over a decade in children's residential care, including a story about a young person who wouldn't come down for dinner — and what changed when staff stopped calling and simply sat alongside her. They also talk honestly about getting it wrong, the importance of rupture and repair, and why children need real adults, not perfect ones. The takeaway: when a child is struggling, pause and ask — what do they need from me right now? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

23 min
Apr 1

The Kindness Code - Pilot

Welcome to the pilot episode of The Kindness Code. Carmel Saulbrey and Chelsea Bailey introduce a new podcast for people working with children and young people in residential care. In this opening conversation, they share why kindness - shown thoughtfully, intentionally and consistently -sits at the heart of meaningful work with care-experienced children. They talk about behaviour as communication, the importance of rupture and repair, and why children need real adults, not perfect ones. Future episodes will explore staff wellbeing, supporting autonomy, creating positive culture in children's homes, and practical strategies you can use the same day. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

2 min

11 Episodes

The Kindness code is a heart-led podcast hosted by Carmel Saulbrey and Chelsea Bailey. The podcast is focused on supporting and connecting with children through everyday acts of Kindness. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Creator

Carmel Saulbrey
Years Active

2K
Episodes

11
Rating

Clean
Copyright

© Carmel Saulbrey
Show Website

The Kindness Code