Spill the Real Podcast

Amanda Owen & Kristi Hayden
  • 4.8 (4)
  • Self-Improvement
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome to Spill the Real—a podcast for women in their 40s navigating midlife, motherhood, marriage, and identity shifts. Hosted by two real-life friends, we have honest, unfiltered conversations about what it really feels like to balance it all while wondering, “Is there more?” From relationships and parenting teens to hormones, purpose, and letting go of guilt—nothing’s off limits. Think margarita-fueled book club vibes without the reading. If you’ve ever felt restless or ready for more, you’re not alone. Let’s figure it out together.

Episodes

  1. 4d ago

    Anxiety, Overthinking & the Mental Spiral

    Ever find yourself lying awake at 2 a.m. replaying a conversation, creating worst-case scenarios, or wondering why your brain just won't turn off? You're not alone. In this episode, we're having an honest conversation about anxiety, overthinking, and the mental spirals so many women experience but rarely talk about. From the invisible mental load of managing everyone else's needs to the pressure of keeping it all together, we're unpacking what happens when stress, hormones, burnout, and life's responsibilities collide. We'll discuss why anxiety doesn't always look like panic, how high-functioning women often carry emotional exhaustion in silence, and why so many of us spend our days anticipating problems that haven't even happened yet. We'll also explore how midlife and hormonal changes can intensify anxiety, intrusive thoughts, sleep struggles, and emotional overwhelm. Most importantly, we're talking about the things we quietly hold in—the fears, worries, guilt, loneliness, and pressure that can leave us feeling isolated even when we're surrounded by people. If you've ever thought:"Did I say the wrong thing?""Why hasn't she texted back?""Am I the only one who feels this way?" This conversation is for you. Because maybe healing begins the moment we stop carrying everything alone and finally say out loud the thing we've been holding silently.

    44 min

  2. May 29

    There’s a Pregame to Menopause?!

    Episode Description If you've ever found yourself wondering why you're suddenly exhausted, anxious, forgetting simple things, waking up at 3 a.m., or feeling like your body is playing a game you never agreed to—this episode is for you. This week, we're spilling the real on perimenopause, the phase before menopause that somehow affects nearly every woman but isn't talked about nearly enough. Many of us thought menopause was something that happened in our 50s and started with hot flashes. What we didn't know is that the "pregame" can begin years earlier and bring a long list of symptoms that leave women questioning their sanity, their health, and sometimes their entire identity. We're diving into the symptoms no one warned us about, sharing personal experiences, and discussing how to navigate this season with more knowledge, support, and a little less panic. Because maybe you're not losing your mind... maybe your hormones are just trying to get your attention. Real Talk Question: What is the craziest symptom that you have experienced or heard of that you had no idea was related to perimenopause? Episode HighlightsSymptoms Nobody Prepared Us For We discuss some of the most surprising and frustrating symptoms women experience, including: Heavy or irregular periods Brain fog and forgetfulness Anxiety and mood changes Heart palpitations Hot flashes and cold flashes Insomnia and disrupted sleep Thinning hair and brittle nails Weight gain Rage and irritability Dizziness and nausea Changes in body odor Allergies that suddenly appear Itchy ears Metallic taste in your mouth Feeling unlike yourself Why so many women think they're "just stressed" The frustration of being told everything is "normal" Learning to trust your body and advocate for yourself Practical ways to support yourself through this transition: Tracking symptoms and recognizing patterns Prioritizing sleep and recovery Increasing protein and strength training Managing stress and protecting your energy Knowing when to seek medical support Finding providers who understand women's hormonal health Giving yourself grace during a season of change Our Biggest Takeaway Perimenopause isn't something that's happening to you—it's something your body is moving through. The more we understand what's happening, the more empowered we become to support ourselves, ask better questions, and stop assuming we're just supposed to suffer through it. Spill The Real Reflection Question After listening, we'd love to hear from you: What symptom made you realize your hormones might be playing a bigger role in your life than you thought? Come join the conversation and share your experience. Because if there's one thing we've learned, it's that women need more honest conversations about this season of life and a lot more reassurance that we're not alone. #SpillTheRealPodcast #Perimenopause #WomenOver40 #MidlifeUnfiltered #Hormones #MenopauseAwareness #RealLifeConversations #WomensHealth #MidlifeWomen #SpillTheReal The Emotional Side of PerimenopauseWhat Do We Do From Here?

    32 min

  3. May 22

    Rewriting the Rules of Partnership at Midlife

    Marriage and partnership in midlife can look a lot different than the version we imagined in our 20s. Between raising kids, building careers, navigating stress, changing priorities, and simply growing as individuals, relationships evolve—and sometimes that evolution can feel both comforting and complicated at the same time. In this episode, we’re spilling the real on what partnership looks like in this season of life. The ways marriage has become deeper… the ways it’s become harder… and how midlife forces many couples to either grow together or quietly drift apart. This is the honest conversation about communication, connection, resentment, teamwork, intimacy, independence, and learning how to choose each other again in a completely different stage of life. Spill the Real Question: What’s one way marriage feels easier now — or harder? Episode Highlights: Marriage Then vs. Marriage NowHow relationships shift after years of parenting, responsibilities, routines, and real life replacing the “fairytale” expectations. Growing Together… or Growing ApartWhat happens when both people evolve in midlife—and how intentional communication matters more than ever. Reflection Question for Listeners: What is one relationship “rule” you’ve had to rewrite in this season of life? Partnership in midlife isn’t always about grand gestures or having it all figured out. Sometimes it’s simply about learning how to keep choosing each other while both people are still evolving.

    57 min

  4. May 15

    Episode 7: When the Scale Lies But the Jeans Don’t

    In our 40’s we are starting to face changes that seem like uncharted territory. Our physical expectations may not be meeting reality. The number on the scale might be rising or be stuck despite our efforts. Perimenopause who?  In this episode we discuss ways we are trying, and mostly failing, to combat these health issues and body changes related to midlife.  Real Talk Question: What is one way you’ve had to adjust your expectations of yourself physically? Episode Highlights: What supplements we take/How do we know which ones we need to take What these body changes are doing to us mentally and emotionally What cards are stacked against us from the get-go How busy schedules and life play a role Reflection Question for Listeners: What do you do to get past the idea of what you want to look like? We hope this is a safe place for all of us to share and learn and maybe even finally let go of those expectations we once had of ourselves in our 20’s and 30’s. Here’s to setting the bar high for ourselves, but also giving ourselves the grace to embrace the changes that are inevitable. #PodcastForWomen #WomenInTheir40s #MidlifeConversations #RealTalkPodcast #FindingYourself #MidlifeIdentity #WhoAmIBecoming #IdentityShift #PersonalEvolution #SelfDiscoveryJourney #womenshealth

    34 min

  5. May 8

    We Survived The 90s...Now We Are The Parents!

    We survived drinking from the hose, riding around without cell phones, and parents having absolutely no clue where we were until the streetlights came on… and somehow, we lived to tell the story. In this episode, we’re taking a nostalgic trip back to the 90s and comparing what parenting looked like then versus now. From MapQuest and dial-up internet to Life360 and constant connection, we’re talking about how much parenting—and being a kid—has completely changed. And honestly? Some things were simpler… but not everything from the 90s would survive today. Real Talk Question: What’s the craziest thing you did as a kid that we wouldn’t let our own kids do? Episode Highlights: What Did “Old” Look Like in the 90s? Pressure on Women: Then vs. Now What We Miss Most About the 90s Life360 Changed Everything What We Learned from Our Parents 90s Struggles Today’s Kids Will Never Understand Reflection Question for Listeners: What’s one thing from growing up in the 90s you wish your kids could experience today? We may laugh about how different life was in the 90s, but underneath the nostalgia is something bigger—connection, resilience, freedom, and learning how to parent in a world that looks nothing like the one we grew up in. And somehow… we’re figuring it out one generation at a time. #PodcastForWomen #WomenInTheir40s #MidlifeConversations #RealTalkPodcast #FindingYourself #MidlifeIdentity #WhoAmIBecoming #IdentityShift #PersonalEvolution #SelfDiscoveryJourney

    46 min

  6. May 1

    Ep. 5: Motherhood When the Kids Don’t Need You Like They Used To

    Motherhood doesn’t end when your kids grow up… it just changes—and no one really prepares you for that shift. In this episode, we’re spilling the real on what it feels like to parent teenagers—the space between being needed for everything and wondering where you fit now. From emotional distance to new challenges, we’re talking about the parts of motherhood that hit differently in this season. If you’ve ever thought, “Wait… no one told me it would feel like this,” this conversation is for you. Real Talk Question: What’s something about parenting teens no one prepared you for? Episode Highlights: Motherhood Then vs. NowThe Challenges of Raising TeenagersThe Hopes & Fears We Don’t Always Say Out LoudMotherhood in this season isn’t about being needed the same way—it’s about learning how to stay connected, let go, and redefine what showing up looks like. You’re not alone in this shift… we’re right there with you.

    50 min

  7. Apr 24

    Ep. 4: Things We're No Longer Doing in Our 40s

    Real Talk Question: Give me one word to describe the season of life you are in. This episode kicks off with a simple but powerful question—and like most things in this season, the answers aren’t surface-level. The words we chose reflect growth, exhaustion, clarity, and a whole lot of truth about where we are right now. Because let’s be honest… Being a woman in your 40s isn’t just “getting older.” It’s navigating motherhood, identity shifts, relationships, responsibilities—and then throw perimenopause into the mix and suddenly everything feels heavier, more emotional, and a little harder to manage. The Heart of This Episode: This conversation is all about what we’re no longer doing—and why that matters. Somewhere along the way, we realized: We don’t have the same energy, time, or tolerance for things that drain us… and we’re finally okay admitting that. We go back and forth on: Protecting our energy like it actually matters (because it does) Letting go of people-pleasing and over-explaining Not saying yes out of guilt or obligation anymore Releasing the pressure to show up for everything and everyone Choosing peace over proving a point Recognizing that rest is not laziness—it’s survival in this season There’s a shift happening… Less performing. Less pretending. More honesty about what we can handle—and what we simply don’t want to anymore. Highlights from the Episode: The moment you realize your capacity has changed—and you stop apologizing for it Why protecting your energy feels uncomfortable at first (but necessary) The invisible weight of “adulting” in your 40s—and how it hits differently now Navigating hormones, emotions, and mental load all at once The freedom that comes from saying, “I’m not doing that anymore” How this season is less about doing more—and more about doing what actually matters Real Talk Reflection: What is something you are no longer willing to carry in this season of your life? And maybe even more importantly… What would it look like to let it go without guilt? Join the Conversation: We don’t have this figured out—and that’s exactly why we’re having these conversations. Come spill the real with us. Share your one word for this season. Tell us what you’re no longer doing in your 40s. Because if you’ve been feeling this shift too… You’re not alone. #PodcastForWomen #WomenInTheir40s #MidlifeConversations #RealTalkPodcast #FindingYourself #MidlifeIdentity #WhoAmIBecoming #IdentityShift #PersonalEvolution #SelfDiscoveryJourney

    40 min

  8. Apr 17

    Ep.3: Who Am I, If I’m Not Who I Used to Be?

    Finding Ourselves in Midlife What happens when you wake up one day and realize… you’ve changed? In this episode of Spill the Real, we’re diving into identity in midlife—the quiet, sometimes uncomfortable realization that you’re not who you used to be… and maybe you’re not quite sure who you are yet either. But maybe that’s not a bad thing. We’re talking about: The life experiences that shape us without us even realizing it How career shifts, motherhood, relationships, and loss redefine who we are Learning to take up space without guilt The tension between who you’ve been and who you’re becoming Real Talk Check-In: What is a part of yourself that you are rediscovering? In this episode, we explore: Why identity in your 40s can feel both unsettling and freeing How the roles we’ve carried can quietly disconnect us from ourselves The importance of creating space for who you are now—not just who you’ve always been Key takeaway: You haven’t lost yourself—you’re evolving. Reflection question: What part of you is trying to come back? This isn’t advice—just real conversations from two women figuring it out in real time. Because if we don’t make room for ourselves… we risk losing ourselves. And the truth is—we’re not meant to walk this season alone. #SpillTheReal #PodcastForWomen #WomenInTheir40s #MidlifeConversations #RealTalkPodcast #FindingYourself #MidlifeIdentity #WhoAmIBecoming #IdentityShift #PersonalEvolution #SelfDiscoveryJourney

    43 min

  9. Apr 10

    Ep. 2: Why No One Warned Us About Our 40's

    The Changes We Didn’t See Coming! What if nothing is wrong… but everything is just different than you expected? In this episode of Spill the Real, we’re diving into the reality of life in your 40s—the version no one prepared us for. Because it’s not that this season is bad… it’s just not what we thought it would look like. We’re talking about: The unexpected physical and mental shifts that catch you off guard How your tolerance, priorities, and mindset suddenly change The reality of navigating motherhood while still figuring yourself out The confusing space where your mind feels strong—but your body feels different Real Talk Check-In: What’s something that surprises you about yourself lately? In this episode, we explore: Three things we wish someone would have told us before our 40s Why your life may not match your “younger self” vision—and why that’s okay The emotional and physical changes no one talks about (but everyone feels) Key takeaway: Your 40s don’t mean something went wrong—they just reveal what’s real. Reflection question: What feels most different about this season of your life… and why? This isn’t advice—just real conversations from two women figuring it out in real time. Because the highlight reel may look different… but it’s still your life—and it’s still unfolding. #SpillTheReal #PodcastForWomen #WomenInTheir40s #MidlifeConversations #RealTalkPodcast #WhyNoOneWarnedUs #LifeInYour40s #MidlifeReality #AgingHonestly #WomensHealthJourney #HormoneHealth #MentalHealthMatters

    32 min

  10. Apr 3

    Is This a Midlife Crisis or Just Finally Waking Up?

    Change vs. Adjustment — What This Season Is Really Asking of Us What if this isn’t a midlife crisis… but a wake-up call? In this episode of Spill the Real, we’re diving into what it actually feels like to be in your 40s—when life looks fine on the outside, but something inside starts shifting. We’re talking about: The difference between needing a change vs. an adjustment Why this season of life can feel heavier (even when nothing is “wrong”) The guilt of wanting more from a life you worked hard to build How to recognize when you’re overwhelmed vs. misaligned Real Talk Check-In: When was the last time you thought, “I’m too old for this”—and what were you talking about? In this episode, we explore: What actually changes us in our 40s Why not every uncomfortable feeling means you need to blow up your life How to navigate growth when others don’t understand it Key takeaway: Not every discomfort requires a drastic change—sometimes your life just needs an honest adjustment. Reflection question: Am I overwhelmed… or am I misaligned? This isn’t advice—just real conversations from two women figuring it out in real time. Because this might not be a crisis… it might be the moment you finally wake up.

    32 min
  • 10 Episodes

Ratings & Reviews

4.8
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

Welcome to Spill the Real—a podcast for women in their 40s navigating midlife, motherhood, marriage, and identity shifts. Hosted by two real-life friends, we have honest, unfiltered conversations about what it really feels like to balance it all while wondering, “Is there more?” From relationships and parenting teens to hormones, purpose, and letting go of guilt—nothing’s off limits. Think margarita-fueled book club vibes without the reading. If you’ve ever felt restless or ready for more, you’re not alone. Let’s figure it out together.

Information

  • Creator
    Amanda Owen & Kristi Hayden
  • Years Active
    2K
  • Episodes
    10
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Amanda Owen & Kristi Hayden
  • Show Website
    Spill the Real Podcast

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