Sip and Stim

Kate Martin and Toni Toole
  • 5.0 (4)
  • Parenting
  • Updated Weekly

Sip and Stim is a podcast for parents raising children with autism who want honest conversations, practical support, and a reminder that they are not alone. Hosted by Toni, an experienced autism leader, and Kate, a mom raising two children on different ends of the spectrum, each episode blends trusted guidance with real-life experience. From diagnosis and daily routines to relationships, overwhelm, and small wins, Sip and Stim is here to help you take it one day at a time.

  1. 1d ago

    Well I Didn't See That Coming

    Sometimes the biggest breakthroughs are the ones you never saw coming. In this episode of Sip & Stim, Toni and Kate are joined by Kayla for a conversation about the moments when children surprise us, exceed expectations, and remind us why their future should never be defined by where they are today. They talk about recognizing progress that may not show up on a treatment plan, why natural learning can be so meaningful, and how a child’s interests, motivation, relationships, and environment can reveal abilities that might not appear in more structured settings. They also get into a question many parents know well: why will my child do something for a therapist, teacher, or caregiver, but not for me? Toni explains why that difference does not mean you are failing and why every relationship with a child comes with its own history. And when it comes to the future, no one can know exactly what a child will eventually be capable of. Sometimes the most important thing we can do is leave room for growth, self-advocacy, interests, and possibilities. Because what looks small to someone else may be huge to your family. And that deserves to be celebrated. WATCH, LISTEN AND FOLLOW SIP & STIMhttps://links.sipandstim.com CHAPTERS00:00 Welcome to Sip & Stim00:36 Meet Kayla02:43 Leave Room for Your Child to Surprise You03:18 When Your Child Does Something You Never Expected11:04 The Different Ways Kids Surprise Us16:28 Motivation, Interests and Showing Their Potential17:39 Don’t Miss the Progress That Wasn’t on the Plan18:09 Why Natural Learning Moments Matter25:07 Every Season of Development Can Look Different27:10 We Can’t Predict Where a Child Will Be Next Year27:53 Making Room for Your Child’s Own Goals28:52 Don’t Let Today Define Their Tomorrow36:03 Why Will They Do It for Someone Else, but Not Me?36:25 If They Do It for Someone Else, You’re Not Failing39:00 What Professionals Need to Understand About Parents39:35 A Clinician Should Never Make You Feel Like a Bad Parent42:18 What Good Support Should Ultimately Lead To45:17 Finding the Right Fit for Your Family48:23 Advocating for the Right Person49:17 What Looks Small to Others Can Be Huge to You ABOUT SIP & STIMWelcome to where parenting on the spectrum pairs best with caffeine, coping skills, and stims. Subscribe for more honest conversations about autism, parenting, family life, support, progress, and the moments that don’t always get talked about. CREDITS Hosts:Toni Toole: LinkedInKate Martin: LinkedIn Guest:Kayla Producer:Mike Axe: LinkedIn Editor:Derek Kedell: LinkedIn Theme Song From:Derek Martin: LinkedIn

  2. Sep 16

    CEO of Keeping Everyone Alive

    There’s the parenting everyone sees. Then there’s everything you’re carrying in your head that no one else can see. In this episode of Sip & Stim, Toni and Kate talk about the invisible mental load that can come with raising a child with autism: appointments, therapies, schedules, safety planning, sensory needs, medications, school, travel, backup plans, and the constant responsibility of remembering what everyone else may never have to think about. They talk about what it feels like when a simple outing requires a checklist, when coming home doesn’t mean you get to stop, and when having support in your home can still mean never fully turning off. Toni also shares what it’s like to be the default planner and information keeper for her family, including preparing for emergencies, packing what Greyson may need, and thinking through the “what ifs” before they happen. They also get into the difference between someone helping with a task and actually taking ownership of it, why routines can make sharing the load easier, and why being exhausted does not mean you’re failing. WATCH, LISTEN AND FOLLOW SIP & STIMhttps://links.sipandstim.com CHAPTERS00:00 Welcome to Sip & Stim05:23 “Chaos Coordinator” Doesn’t Even Cover It08:32 When Appointments Take Over the Week11:05 Getting Home Doesn’t Mean You’re Done13:00 Sometimes You Never Really Get to Turn Off17:11 What Support at Home Can Actually Look Like20:02 Even a Simple Outing Can Require a Plan22:36 Planning for the What-Ifs24:07 Why Family Outings Take So Much Preparation27:34 Vacations, Backup Plans and Everything You Have to Remember29:19 A New Place Can Mean Starting From Scratch33:16 Becoming the Default Information Keeper35:45 Helping vs. Actually Owning the Task38:27 Why Routines Can Make Sharing the Load Easier39:33 Being Exhausted Doesn’t Mean You’re Failing40:26 Coming Next on Sip & Stim ABOUT SIP & STIMWelcome to where parenting on the spectrum pairs best with caffeine, coping skills, and stims. Subscribe for more honest conversations from Sip & Stim. CREDITS Hosts:Toni Toole: LinkedInKate Martin: LinkedIn Producer:Mike Axe: LinkedIn Editor:Derek Kedell: LinkedIn Theme Song From:Derek Martin: LinkedIn

  3. Sep 10

    Am I a Bad Parent? The Parenting Guilt Spiral

    Do you ever feel like you're failing as a parent, even when you're giving everything you have? Toni and Kate talk about parenting guilt, comparison, exhaustion, siblings, therapy, advocacy, and the constant feeling that you should somehow be doing more. They get into what happens when one child needs more of your time and attention, the guilt that can come with taking a break, comparing your family to other families, worrying that your child should be progressing faster, and feeling responsible for things that were never fully in your control. They also talk about the importance of rest, acknowledging what siblings may be experiencing, celebrating small wins, apologizing when you get it wrong, and learning to give yourself more grace. WATCH, LISTEN AND FOLLOW SIP & STIMhttps://links.sipandstim.com CHAPTERS00:00 On This Episode & Stim03:58 Am I Parenting Badly?05:00 The Parenting Guilt Spiral05:16 Doing Your Best Can Still Feel Like Not Enough07:07 When Exhaustion Affects Your Parenting10:33 Being the Parent, Not Always the Therapist12:02 You Can't Give Everyone Everything at Once13:54 Your Other Children Need to Feel Seen, Too17:07 Watching Other Families Become More Independent19:37 Am I Doing Enough for My Child's Services?21:51 Rest Is Not Giving Up24:37 Feeling Guilty About How You Spend Your Time30:12 Comparing Your Parenting to Other Families36:59 Not Every Struggle Is Your Fault44:02 How Much Should We Tell Our Kids?45:27 Your Child Doesn't Need a Perfect Parent47:14 Celebrating the Small Wins48:58 What's Next on Sip & Stim ABOUT SIP & STIMWelcome to where parenting on the spectrum pairs best with caffeine, coping skills, and stims. Subscribe for more honest conversations from Sip & Stim. CREDITS Hosts:Toni Toole: LinkedInKate Martin: LinkedIn Producer:Mike Axe: LinkedIn Editor:Derek Kedell: LinkedIn Theme Song From:Derek Martin: LinkedIn

  4. Sep 2

    Sorry, Not Sorry: Boundaries Without Guilt

    How do you set boundaries when you're raising a child with autism without feeling guilty every time you say no? Toni and Kate talk family boundaries, sensory needs, parenting decisions, transitions, physical affection, and protecting what your child needs even when other people don't understand. They get into the pressure to explain your choices, missing family events, parenting differently from the people around you, recognizing your child's limits, and why preparing for difficult transitions can make such a difference. They also talk about helping children understand their own boundaries, navigate friendships, and learn that it's okay to step away from people or situations that don't feel right. WATCH, LISTEN AND FOLLOW SIP & STIM https://links.sipandstim.com CHAPTERS 00:00 On This Episode... 02:41 Learning to Say No 05:05 Saying No Can Be Part of Caring for Your Family 05:57 Do You Owe People an Explanation? 07:53 The Guilt of Disappointing People 10:04 Setting Boundaries for Your Family 10:38 Affection Should Never Have to Be Forced 14:00 Parenting Differently Without Apologizing 15:42 Your Child's Limits Matter 19:34 When Your Child Needs You to Set the Limit 20:51 Set Expectations Before the Hard Moment 23:23 Setting Boundaries With Family 28:17 Teach Them It's Okay to Walk Away 31:44 Letting Go of Other People's Opinions 33:51 What Parents Should Remember About Boundaries ABOUT SIP & STIM Welcome to where parenting on the spectrum pairs best with caffeine, coping skills, and stims. Subscribe for more honest conversations from Sip & Stim. CREDITS Hosts: Toni Toole: LinkedIn Kate Martin: LinkedIn Producer: Mike Axe: LinkedIn Editor: Derek Kedell: LinkedIn Theme Song From: Derek Martin: LinkedIn

  5. Aug 27

    When Friendships Change

    How do friendships change when you're raising a child with autism? Toni and Kate talk autism parenting, changing friendships, support systems, and finding people who truly understand your family. Sometimes the invitations slow down, plans become harder, and people who once felt close begin to feel more like acquaintances. They talk about what real support looks like, accepting help, family judgment, grief, and finding friends who understand without needing every part of your life explained. WATCH, LISTEN AND FOLLOW SIP & STIMhttps://links.sipandstim.com CHAPTERS00:00 On This Episode...01:19 An Unexpected Trip to the ER02:49 Kate Talks About Greyson's 10th Birthday04:56 When Friendships Change07:15 When Friends Become Acquaintances11:36 When Plans Stop Being Simple13:44 The Friends Who Come to You16:34 Letting People See the Mess18:40 What Support Actually Looks Like21:40 When the Invites Stop25:19 When Family Doesn't Understand28:09 Grief, Acceptance and Letting Go30:17 Kate Shares a Personal Update33:28 Finding People Who Get It35:58 Making New Connections39:32 When Friendship Changes, Not Ends ABOUT SIP & STIMWelcome to where parenting on the spectrum pairs best with caffeine, coping skills, and stims. Subscribe for more honest conversations from Sip & Stim. CREDITS Hosts:Toni Toole: LinkedInKate Martin: LinkedIn Producer:Mike Axe: LinkedIn Editor:Derek Kedell: LinkedIn Theme Song From:Derek Martin: LinkedIn

  6. Aug 18

    You Can’t Pour From an Empty Stanley

    Why do I feel guilty for needing a break? This week on Sip & Stim, Toni and Kate talk caregiver burnout, mom guilt, parenting a child with autism, recognizing when you're running on empty, and why asking for help can feel so hard. Burnout does not always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like irritability, exhaustion, needing a few quiet minutes, or realizing you have been carrying more than you thought. Toni and Kate get honest about recognizing their own triggers, why taking time for yourself can come with guilt, and the difference between burnout at work and burnout at home. At work, you may be able to shift responsibilities or change the demands. As a parent, you cannot exactly tag out. They also talk about leaning on your partner and support system, checking in with each other honestly, navigating respite services, and continuing to advocate when the support your family needs is not easy to access. If you have ever needed a break and immediately felt guilty for taking one, this conversation is for you.   Chapters: 00:00 Welcome to Sip & Stim 01:50 The Firsts and Lasts of Parenting 03:06 What Made Us Cry This Week? 03:56 Going With the Flow as a Parent 06:39 Recognizing Caregiver Burnout 10:05 Mom Guilt and Taking a Break 11:47 Recognizing Your Own Burnout Triggers 16:27 Burnout in ABA vs. Parenting Burnout 18:32 Why Parents Can't Just Tag Out 21:04 Leaning on Your Support System 23:35 Respite Services and Advocating for Support 24:59 Final Thoughts   Watch, Listen and Follow: Find Sip & Stim and all of our links at links.sipandstim.com. Credits: Hosts: Toni Toole and Kate Martin Producer: Mike Axe Editor: Derek Kedell Theme Song From: Derek Martin

  7. Aug 11

    Social Media vs. Autism Reality: The Highlight Reel Nobody Posts

    A smiling family photo can hide what happened ten seconds later. Social media can help families find resources, support, and people who truly understand. It can also make everyone else’s home, vacation, parenting, and life look impossibly perfect. So how do we hold onto the connection without comparing our real lives to someone else’s highlight reel? Kate and Toni have an honest conversation about the complicated role social media plays in the lives of families raising children with autism. They talk about the pressure created by spotless homes, perfect vacations, and carefully selected family photos. They also explore caregiver burnout, judgment from strangers, protecting a child’s privacy, and the difficult question of how much of family life should be shared online. At the same time, social media can make families feel less alone. It can connect people with helpful resources, supportive communities, practical advice, and professionals who understand their child’s needs. The feed is only a snapshot. Real life includes hard days, beautiful moments, progress, grief, laughter, mess, and everything in between. What has social media made easier or harder for your family? Share only what feels comfortable. Then like, follow, subscribe, and send this episode to someone who might need the reminder that nobody’s life looks like their highlight reel. WATCH, LISTEN, & FOLLOW https://links.sipandstim.com Season 2 Episode 2 CREDITS Hosts: Kate Martin and Toni Toole Producer: Mike Axe Editor: Derek Kedell Theme Song From: Derek Martin CHAPTERS 00:00 On This Episode 00:34 Welcome to Sip & Stim 01:05 Kate is back 01:14 Social media versus real life 01:36 What is the “fakest” thing you have posted? 03:09 The reality of taking family photos 06:10 Comparing homes, vacations, and families 09:35 Connection versus endless scrolling 10:29 Sharing honestly while protecting children 13:36 How online resources reduce isolation 18:36 Caregiver stories that help people feel seen 20:32 Burnout, criticism, and “shame on you” responses 23:04 Judgment and safety in public spaces 26:38 Using social media as a helpful tool 29:22 Finding people who understand sensory needs 33:40 Helping one family can still matter 34:59 The feed is only a snapshot 36:40 Next week on Sip & Stim #SipAndStim #AutismAcceptance #CaregiverSupport

  8. Aug 5

    Appreciating Holland: The Journey I Never Planned

    You picture motherhood one way. Then life takes you somewhere you never expected to go. In the Season 2 premiere, Toni is joined by her friend Michelle for an honest conversation about raising her son, Sal, and becoming the advocate she never knew she would need to be. Michelle shares how Sal developed typically as a baby before communication challenges, anxiety, meltdowns, and social difficulties began changing the picture. For years, her family explored speech support, therapy, homeschooling, and other possibilities before Sal received an autism diagnosis at nine years old. Michelle reads and reflects on “Welcome to Holland,” a poem by writer Emily Perl Kingsley that uses an unexpected change in travel plans as a metaphor for raising a child with a disability. The poem deeply resonates with Michelle’s experience of grieving the parenting journey she imagined while learning to recognize the beauty in the life her family actually has. She also shares what happened when public school stopped meeting Sal’s needs, how she began learning about IEPs and educational rights, and why she ultimately had to choose advocating for her son over keeping everyone else comfortable. This episode is for the parent who feels overwhelmed, intimidated, or unsure where to begin. It is a reminder that you do not have to know everything on day one. You can ask for help, build your village, learn as you go, and become the voice your child needs. Sometimes accepting that the journey has changed is exactly where a new sense of purpose begins. Sip & Stim - S2 Ep 01 00:00 Intro 00:30 Appreciating Holland: The Journey I Never Planned 02:56 Welcome to Holland: A Poem About an Unexpected Parenting Journey 07:46 Early Journey: Things Changed Around 18 Months 09:57 Understanding the Signs: It Was Not Obvious at First 14:01 School & Support: When School Stopped Working 20:16 Becoming His Biggest Advocate: Parents Are Their Child's Expert 31:18 Appreciating Holland: Different Does Not Mean Less #Autism #AutismParenting #SpecialNeedsParenting #AutismAwareness #ParentingJourney #WelcomeToHolland #SpecialNeedsMom #AutismAcceptance #IEP #ParentAdvocate #DisabilityAwareness #RaisingAnAutisticChild #ParentSupport #Neurodiversity #AppreciatingHolland

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Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
4 Ratings

About

Sip and Stim is a podcast for parents raising children with autism who want honest conversations, practical support, and a reminder that they are not alone. Hosted by Toni, an experienced autism leader, and Kate, a mom raising two children on different ends of the spectrum, each episode blends trusted guidance with real-life experience. From diagnosis and daily routines to relationships, overwhelm, and small wins, Sip and Stim is here to help you take it one day at a time.

Information

  • Creator
    Kate Martin and Toni Toole
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    22
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Kate Martin and Toni Toole
  • Show Website
    Sip and Stim