Ben and James Could Do Better: Two Teachers, No Idea

Ben and James: Secondary School Teachers

Ben and James Could Do Better is a comedy podcast for secondary school teachers—recorded somewhere between the staff room, a lukewarm coffee, and a rapidly disappearing biscuit. If you’re searching for a secondary education podcast that actually reflects life in a UK classroom, you’re in the right place. Less phonics and glitter, more behaviour management, GCSE pressure, and the reality of teaching teenagers. With fifty years of combined experience in secondary schools, Ben and James have seen it all—from Progress 8 panic to the chaos of Year 9 on a Friday afternoon. This is the honest, funny take on teaching in the UK, packed with the kind of staff room conversations teachers don’t usually get time to have. Whether you’re an experienced teacher, an ECT navigating your first placement, or just curious about the state of modern education, there’s something here for you. No laminated posters. No inspirational assemblies. No budget. Just real talk about teacher life, workload, behaviour, and surviving the school week. We all went to school.Ben and James just never left.

Episodes

  1. 14h ago

    We Accidentally Forgot to Talk About Education

    Kwik Save, Gateway, Safeway, HyperValue... say any of those names out loud and you can practically smell the fluorescent lighting. We start by correcting our own questionable supermarket history before disappearing down a rabbit hole of UK retail nostalgia, value ranges, and how Aldi and Lidl quietly changed the way Britain shops. Normally, this is the point where we'd introduce an education article, a list of dubious teaching advice, or some piece of corporate nonsense to pick apart. This week, we forget. Instead, a classroom register somehow leads us into Esperanto, the invented world language that never quite conquered the globe, before we drift into BBC soap operas, Eldorado, and the theme tunes that have survived far longer than the programmes themselves. Along the way, we discuss composer Simon May and why a melody can transport you back thirty years faster than almost anything else. We also talk about life behind the podcast: why we've revived the Ben and James Could Do Better blog, how we're trying to promote the show without becoming unbearable about it, and why the blog finally gives our postcard segment a proper home. This week's postcard features a surfing sun and a message that's probably more useful than most educational guidance documents: "Happiness comes in waves, it will find you again." Naturally, things end with snacks. We compare supermarket copycat brands, debate Galaxy ice cream, discuss why own-brand crisps never quite get it right, and marvel at energy drink names that seem increasingly determined to sound dangerous. There's also a late-90s cautionary tale involving a "quad vod"—the kind of drink that leaves you able to remember the night perfectly but unable to look at Red Bull in quite the same way ever again. In short, this is the episode where we accidentally forget to talk about education and somehow spend an hour discussing supermarkets, Esperanto, TV theme tunes, postcards, snacks, and nostalgia instead. If that sounds like your sort of professional development, subscribe, share the show with a fellow nostalgia-head, and leave us a review. Send us Fan Mail Support the show

    40 min

  2. Jun 8

    A Publishing Professional Discovers Teenagers

    A pair of polyester trousers, a slightly posher tie, and the social politics of the stockroom should not lead to a conversation about literacy, but somehow it does. We start by reliving our early retail jobs in Cardiff, from Boots uniforms and "Men's Technical" departments to the legendary stockroom guru who somehow holds the entire operation together. Along the way, we revisit late-night shopping, Sunday opening, and the strange workplace traditions that everyone follows without ever questioning. We also catch up on real life: a trip to a toy superstore, a pretend mobile phone that refuses to charge, and a customer service desk that turns a simple return into something resembling a legal hearing. Then we arrive at the main event: an article by a publishing professional who leaves the corporate world to teach GCSE English resits and discovers that many teenagers don't enjoy reading. Armed with this revelation, he offers a list of suggestions for getting boys to read. Some of the ideas are sensible. Some are obvious. Some feel suspiciously like advice that sounds profound until you remember teachers have been doing it for decades. We pick apart his arguments on reading for pleasure, set texts, literacy, GCSE English, and whether there's really a magic formula for creating readers. Along the way we discuss airport fiction, choice, role models, and the slightly baffling insistence that every reading list should include a short story by Tom Hanks. If you've ever rolled your eyes at education advice that rediscovers things teachers already know, this episode will feel very familiar. Subscribe, share it with a colleague, and leave us a review with the book that made you a reader. Found a worse museum postcard? Survived a ridiculous school policy? Or just want to tell us your favourite biscuit? Drop us an email at bandjcdb@gmail.com or leave a comment on our website! Read the blog and see the postcards:  https://benandjamescoulddobetter.com/ Send us Fan Mail Support the show

    39 min

  3. Jun 1

    Made-Up Challenges (Solved With More Paperwork)

    Party rings that somehow taste stale straight from the packet, a Huntley & Palmers tin, and the brutal truth that the quality of a school meeting can be measured entirely by the biscuit selection. That’s where we begin — because school life is often defined by the tiny details nobody ever writes into policy. For once, we’re recording on location in an actual school during half-term, complete with strategically placed blankets to recreate the “bedroom acoustics” we normally rely on. From there, we catch up on the week: a long drive in an ageing car that can’t decide how it wants to overheat, and a golden wedding anniversary trip to Centre Parcs — described here as a strangely beautiful open prison. If you’ve been, you’ll know exactly what we mean. Then we get to the main event: a list from a DBS-check provider claiming to explain the “Ten Challenges of Teaching and How to Overcome Them.” The topics will sound familiar to anyone in education — behaviour, workload, SEND, communication, burnout, leadership pressure, safeguarding, motivation, and paperwork. The problem? Most of the advice boils down to “work harder, but positively.” We pick apart the corporate language, the Americanised assumptions, and the way genuinely difficult issues like behaviour management, safeguarding, and family challenges get flattened into meaningless bullet points and LinkedIn optimism. If you’ve ever rolled your eyes at unrealistic teacher advice, this episode will feel both cathartic and painfully familiar. Subscribe, share it with a colleague who needs the laugh, and leave us a review. What would you put on a genuinely useful list of teaching challenges? Found a worse museum postcard? Survived a ridiculous school policy? Or just want to tell us your favourite biscuit? Drop us an email at bandjcdb@gmail.com or leave a comment on our website! Read the blog and see the postcards:  https://benandjamescoulddobetter.com/ Send us Fan Mail Support the show

    44 min

  4. May 25

    Teacher Hacks (And Other Ways to Increase Your Workload)

    You can get a GCSE in Welsh, grow up in Wales, and still completely freeze when someone actually speaks Welsh back to you. That confession sends us into a proper wander through language, identity, and the massive chasm between passing an exam and confidently speaking a language. Meanwhile, our kids are somehow becoming bilingual in French despite barely visiting France — yet still maintain world-class selective hearing whenever they’re asked to tidy their rooms. Then reality bites. We dive into exam season and the world of secondary school SEND management, where access arrangements have to be evidence-based, strictly compliant, and permanently inspection-ready. We talk through a recent Joint Council for Qualifications (JCQ) inspection that created months of stress and paperwork before being over in minutes — and ask why UK schools seem trapped in a constant cycle of compliance anxiety. Finally, we put a viral list of “back to school teacher hacks” on trial. From lollipop sticks and visual timetables to classroom décor and “important folders” that sound dangerously close to a GDPR incident waiting to happen, we ask the only question that matters: does any of this actually reduce teacher workload and improve classroom management, or is it just more jobs for teachers already running on fumes? If you enjoy honest staff-room chat, secondary school comedy, SEND and exams insight, and two teachers questioning modern education, subscribe, share the show with a colleague, and leave a review. Found a worse museum postcard? Survived a ridiculous school policy? Or just want to tell us your favourite biscuit? Drop us an email at bandjcdb@gmail.com or leave a comment on our website! Read the blog and see the postcards:  https://benandjamescoulddobetter.com/ Send us Fan Mail Support the show

    34 min

  5. May 18

    Students Found Our Podcast… and It’s Getting Weird

    This week, a crumbling Flake somehow turns into a full conversation about childhood, school life, and the packed lunches that still haunt us. We revisit frozen sandwiches made on Sunday nights, budget crisps in blank packaging, and the strange mix of shame and comedy that existed in every school canteen. We’ve also reached Episode 7 — the point where many podcasts quietly disappear into “podfade.” Instead, we talk about what it’s actually like launching a teacher podcast: obsessively refreshing Spotify stats for tiny dopamine hits, experimenting with Instagram clips, abandoning an X account, neglecting a lonely Facebook page, and trying to grow a very small YouTube following. Then things take an unexpected turn. Students were never the target audience, yet they’ve become the fastest people to find the podcast — quoting clips back to us, asking for high fives in the corridor, and even attempting to negotiate detentions. If you enjoy funny, honest conversations about teaching, secondary education, classroom culture, and the internet colliding with school life, this episode’s for you. Subscribe, share it with a friend, and leave us a review — we’d genuinely love your feedback. Found a worse museum postcard? Survived a ridiculous school policy? Or just want to tell us your favourite biscuit? Drop us an email at bandjcdb@gmail.com or leave a comment on our website! Read the blog and see the postcards:  https://benandjamescoulddobetter.com/ Send us Fan Mail Support the show

    32 min

  6. May 11

    “10 Things Every Teacher Needs”… Apparently

    A stationery supplier promises “ten things every teacher needs in their classroom”—but how well do these lists match the reality of UK schools? We’re Ben and James, two secondary teachers, and in this episode we use this ambitious countdown to explore what classroom essentials really mean. From budget pressures to the little day-to-day systems that keep teachers afloat, we talk about what actually makes a difference in classrooms. We also dig into assumptions about classroom environment and learning, challenging the idea that more colour or more displays automatically improve focus—especially for learners with SEND. Join us for honest, sharp-edged teacher talk, practical insights, and a few laughs along the way. Subscribe, share with a fellow educator, and leave a review to help other teachers discover the show. Found a worse museum postcard? Survived a ridiculous school policy? Or just want to tell us your favourite biscuit? Drop us an email at bandjcdb@gmail.com or leave a comment on our website! Read the blog and see the postcards:  https://benandjamescoulddobetter.com/ Send us Fan Mail Support the show

    35 min

  7. May 4

    Teacher Burnout & Wellbeing: Why “Just Breathe” Doesn’t Work in Schools

    Some wellbeing advice sounds great—until you try to follow it in a real school day. In this episode, we put a popular “7 ways to improve teacher wellbeing” guide to the test—through the lens of teachers juggling five lessons, duty, and a flood of “quick question” emails. When the first tips are “move more” and “breathe,” we ask: is this genuine support, or are teachers being quietly blamed for systemic problems? In this episode: Why most teacher wellbeing advice falls apart by Period 3The gap between school reality and wellbeing guidanceThe problem with the “just be more resilient” narrativeWhat teachers actually need to feel better at workIf you’re a teacher feeling burnt out, overwhelmed, or tired of surface-level wellbeing advice—this episode is for you. Join the conversation: What’s the most genuinely helpful wellbeing support you’ve experienced in a school? Follow the show, share it with a colleague, and leave a review—your support helps more teachers find us. Found a worse museum postcard? Survived a ridiculous school policy? Or just want to tell us your favourite biscuit? Drop us an email at bandjcdb@gmail.com or leave a comment on our website! Read the blog and see the postcards:  https://benandjamescoulddobetter.com/ Send us Fan Mail Support the show

    28 min

  8. Apr 27

    PGCE, Teach First & Other Character Building Exercises

    The “official” path into teaching sounds simple on paper: check your qualifications, understand funding, get some experience, choose a course, apply, train, get a job, start your career. But when you actually read Department for Education-style guidance out loud, it quickly becomes clear how little it prepares you for the reality of teacher training in the UK—or for what life in schools really demands. In this episode, we unpack the parts that the checklist skips. Why do GCSE requirements sometimes feel oddly disconnected from the subject you want to teach? How do funding and bursaries quietly shape people’s decisions? And why does classroom experience matter far more than most applicants realise? We also talk honestly about the different routes into teaching—PGCE, School Direct, Teach First and more—and the tension between seeing teaching as a “vocation” versus something you fall into through circumstance, bad luck, or simple pragmatism. Along the way, we share stories from training and placements, including the very real issue of being placed somewhere you can’t physically get to on time without a car. We finish with our takeaways: the formal route might be “graduate, train, qualify,” but the emotional journey looks more like hope, panic, and a lot of caffeine. If you’re thinking about becoming a teacher—or you’re already in and quietly questioning your life choices—this episode offers honesty, humour, and a few uncomfortable truths. Subscribe, share this with someone considering teacher training, and leave us a review. And tell us: what’s the missing step in the “how to become a teacher” guide? Found a worse museum postcard? Survived a ridiculous school policy? Or just want to tell us your favourite biscuit? Drop us an email at bandjcdb@gmail.com or leave a comment on our website! Read the blog and see the postcards:  https://benandjamescoulddobetter.com/ Send us Fan Mail Support the show

    27 min

  9. Apr 20

    Competitive Salary and Other Bedtime Stories About Teaching

    The Get Into Teaching website makes teaching sound like a clean, confident career choice: inspire from day one, teach with freedom, progress at your own pace, earn a competitive salary, and enjoy more holiday than your mates in office jobs. So we do what any two qualified secondary teachers would do — we print it out and start reading it properly. What follows is a line-by-line reality check. We unpack the idea of “impact” and what it actually looks like when most corridor conversations are about shirts, toilets, and getting to period two on time. We talk about autonomy in the classroom — yes, you bring your personality, but curriculum pressure, accountability, and timetables can quietly reshape what teaching looks like in practice. We also share stories from our own experience, where recruitment language starts to feel a bit like advertising that has never met a staffroom. Then we get into progression, pay, pensions, and the great teaching myth: the holidays. We’re not here to exaggerate, but we are honest about what the job does to your evenings, your headspace, and your energy. James brings the SENCO perspective, Ben brings leadership experience, and we land in the same place: teaching can be brilliant, meaningful, and genuinely funny — but it’s also far messier than the brochure suggests. If you’re thinking about becoming a teacher, or you’re already in it and want to feel a bit less alone, press play. And if you’ve ever read a job advert for teaching and thought “that doesn’t sound like my school at all,” you’re in the right place. Found a worse museum postcard? Survived a ridiculous school policy? Or just want to tell us your favourite biscuit? Drop us an email at bandjcdb@gmail.com or leave a comment on our website! Read the blog and see the postcards:  https://benandjamescoulddobetter.com/ Send us Fan Mail Support the show

    25 min

  10. Apr 20

    Primary vs Secondary: Stickers, Postcards, and Other Teaching Myths We’ve Been Sold

    A supply agency calls itself “the home of happy teachers” and publishes a six-point guide to the differences between primary and secondary schools. That alone is enough to get us started. We pick apart the claims one by one — from generalist vs specialist teaching, to workload, planning, marking, and the idea that pastoral care somehow disappears after Year 6. What sounds neat on paper starts to fall apart quickly when you’ve actually worked in schools. We also compare notes on the uncomfortable reality of crossing phases, including a parents’ evening that makes a secondary teacher realise how little we understand about primary routines, language, and expectations. From there, we dig into transition, curriculum continuity, and the ongoing problem: everyone says primary and secondary should talk more, but nobody builds the time or structure to make it happen. Along the way we end up asking why science is always in labs, why behaviour systems change so sharply, and why “rewards” in education go from stickers to postcards that may or may not mean anything. If you work in education — or just enjoy hearing myths about schools get dismantled — this one’s for you. Found a worse museum postcard? Survived a ridiculous school policy? Or just want to tell us your favourite biscuit? Drop us an email at bandjcdb@gmail.com or leave a comment on our website! Read the blog and see the postcards:  https://benandjamescoulddobetter.com/ Send us Fan Mail Support the show

    28 min

  11. Apr 20

    Two Teachers Try to Start a Podcast (Badly)

    Most podcasts lose you in the first five minutes. We’re trying not to. We’re Ben and James — two secondary school staff attempting to make a podcast that’s actually worth your commute. To keep it on track, we structure each episode like a lesson: register, objective, “I do, we do, you do”… and then watch it fall apart. In this episode, we follow a “how to start a podcast” guide and see what actually holds up when you’re recording for real. Expect questionable equipment decisions, DIY recording setups, and the reality of using things like the Zoom PodTrak P4 and Audacity without fully knowing what we’re doing. Along the way, we get distracted by behaviour systems, phone calls home, staffroom culture, and the strange language of school “vision”. If you work in education, think of it as informal CPD. If you don’t, it’s a behind-the-scenes look at what school actually feels like. Found a worse museum postcard? Survived a ridiculous school policy? Or just want to tell us your favourite biscuit? Drop us an email at bandjcdb@gmail.com or leave a comment on our website! Read the blog and see the postcards:  https://benandjamescoulddobetter.com/ Send us Fan Mail Support the show

    30 min

  12. Season 1, Episode 1 Trailer

    Trailer

    Welcome to the trailer for Ben and James Could Do Better, an irreverent journey through the world of secondary education from the perspective of a man called Ben and a different man called James. We turn up, we say some things about secondary schools, and we try to do better.  Episodes 1-3 drop on Monday, April 20th at 6:00 AM. Subscribe now to join the register. Send us Fan Mail Support the show

    1 min

Trailer

About

Ben and James Could Do Better is a comedy podcast for secondary school teachers—recorded somewhere between the staff room, a lukewarm coffee, and a rapidly disappearing biscuit. If you’re searching for a secondary education podcast that actually reflects life in a UK classroom, you’re in the right place. Less phonics and glitter, more behaviour management, GCSE pressure, and the reality of teaching teenagers. With fifty years of combined experience in secondary schools, Ben and James have seen it all—from Progress 8 panic to the chaos of Year 9 on a Friday afternoon. This is the honest, funny take on teaching in the UK, packed with the kind of staff room conversations teachers don’t usually get time to have. Whether you’re an experienced teacher, an ECT navigating your first placement, or just curious about the state of modern education, there’s something here for you. No laminated posters. No inspirational assemblies. No budget. Just real talk about teacher life, workload, behaviour, and surviving the school week. We all went to school.Ben and James just never left.

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