Send us Fan Mail This episode was supposed to be about surveilling our kids. It became something else entirely, and nobody is sorry about it. Except maybe Jana, who walked away with the most homework. Jordan is joined by Jana Folmert, the Mentor, and Dara, our mom-fluencer and the Co-Pilot, for an honest conversation about dating and connection in the digital world. It starts with Snap. Jana explains how teens are using it now. They meet someone, exchange Snap handles, and the whole thing lives there. Disappearing messages make it safer in some ways, and they are also exactly why kids like it. Parents don’t find out. Dara shares how adults are using it too, with a group Snap where friends post their day, and nobody feels guilty about not replying. Which leads to the harder question: if connection becomes snippets, are kids learning how to have a long conversation at all? Then the dating half, where Dara brings the practical experience and the receipts. Her red flags, in order: a social handle in the profile means they want followers, not a date. Photos that are clearly ten years old. And children in the pictures, which she sees as both a consent issue and a prop. Her rule is to FaceTime before meeting, and if there’s no date planned within a month of talking, move on. Jana shares her own sticking point, which turns into a real digital safety question. She refuses to lie about her age, but so many men set their filters ten to twenty years younger that she rarely matches in her own age range. Which raises the obvious thing: who is doing age verification for adults on these platforms? Jordan offers a challenge she wants every single digital parent to consider. Stop living in the in-app chat. Pick one safe location that isn’t your regular spot, build a rapport with the staff there, and invite matches to meet you. You keep your phone number, you skip weeks of texting, and you find out fast who actually shows up. Plus the case for voice notes over phone calls, and Dara’s story about matching with someone she met eight years ago and completely forgot. Jana has homework. Dara owes an update. And the bathroom mirror photo remains unexplained. If you know the secret code, the comments are open. Follow Dara: TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@onmymommyestbehavior Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/onmymommyestbehavior Want to find out your parenting archetype? Take the quiz at fosi.org/parenting. This is Moms Off Mute. New episodes every Wednesday. Listen on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Support the show Moms Off Mute is produced by the Family Online Safety Institute. Learn more at fosi.org/parenting. Follow Moms Off Mute on Instagram, TikTok, and Facebook. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and does not constitute professional advice.
