Domestic Abuse Breakthrough Show | Kate Beesley

Kate Beesley - Say No Das CIC
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The Domestic Abuse Breakthrough Show – Where risk is understood, not missed. This podcast explores hidden patterns of domestic abuse, including coercive control, trauma responses, and overlooked risk. Hosted by trauma-informed domestic abuse and risk awareness specialist Kate Beesley, each episode helps professionals & survivors recognise danger earlier and respond more effectively. Voted 2nd favourite UK Health Radio show in 2025, recognised for outstanding contribution to the health industry. Visit www.sayno-das.co.uk to request access to our support hub for Professionals & Survivors.

Episodes

  1. May 29

    “Silent Voices: When the System Fails the Most Vulnerable”

    In this deeply powerful and distressing episode of the Domestic Abuse Breakthrough Show, Kate is joined by Tamsyn Raven, a mother turned advocate fighting for justice for her seven-year-old daughter, Kaylee. Kaylee is nonverbal, severely autistic, and medically vulnerable — and was assaulted while in the care of someone trusted to protect her. The incident was captured on CCTV. Yet nearly a year later, the courts have still not reviewed the footage. This conversation exposes the devastating reality of what happens when: Evidence is ignoredSafeguarding systems failDisabled children are overlookedAnd risk is minimised in favour of “convictability”Together, Kate and Tamzin unpack: How nonverbal children are left without a voice in the justice systemWhy behavioural changes must be recognised as critical evidenceThe dangers of downgrading charges for vulnerable victimsOngoing stalking, intimidation, and failures in protectionThe impact of trauma on a child who cannot communicate what happenedThe emotional and psychological toll on families forced to fight aloneThis is not just one case. It highlights a much wider systemic issue affecting some of the most vulnerable children in society. Kaylee’s story is also one of resilience. With distance from harm, she is beginning to rediscover her voice, her personality, and her sense of safety — showing just how profound the impact of abuse truly is. Tamzin is now working to create Silent Voices Advocacy Ireland, a project dedicated to ensuring that children who cannot speak are still heard, protected, and properly represented. This episode is essential listening for: Safeguarding professionalsHealthcare and education staffLegal professionalsParents and carersAnyone committed to protecting vulnerable childrenBecause when a child cannot speak… it is the system’s responsibility to listen harder — not look away. If you are navigating abuse or safeguarding concerns, support links are available in the link tree If you are a professional seeking to deepen your trauma-informed understanding, you can also register your interest in training and resources. https://linktr.ee/breakthecyclemovement

    “Silent Voices: When the System Fails the Most Vulnerable”

  2. May 22

    “When Risk Is Missed: Why Domestic Abuse Isn’t just an Incident”

    In this episode of The Domestic Abuse Breakthrough Show, I’m joined by law enforcement specialist Captain Eric Threlkeld to explore one of the biggest failures in how domestic abuse is understood and investigated. Too often, cases are treated as isolated incidents — a single argument, a single injury, a single call-out. But domestic abuse is not an incident.It’s a pattern. And when professionals fail to recognise that, risk isn’t just misunderstood — it’s missed entirely. We discuss: Why incident-based policing puts victims at riskThe importance of pattern recognition in domestic abuse casesHow coercive control operates without visible violenceThe role of multidisciplinary teams in preventing escalationWhy risk assessment tools are failing in practice — and what’s really going wrongHow subtle threats, especially involving weapons, create fear and compliance without actionThis episode is essential listening for professionals working in policing, safeguarding, family law, and support services — and for anyone who wants to understand what risk really looks like behind closed doors. Because when we don’t understand risk…we don’t just miss it.We create the conditions for harm. If you are navigating abuse, support links are in the linktree.If you’re a professional or survivor ready to deepen your understanding, you can also register your interest in trauma-informed training and resources via the link provided. https://linktr.ee/breakthecyclemovement https://www.linkedin.com/in/ericthrelkeld/

    “When Risk Is Missed: Why Domestic Abuse Isn’t just an Incident”

  3. May 18

    “The Illusion of Freedom: How Victims End Up Isolated”

    In this episode, I break down one of the most misunderstood aspects of coercive control: Isolation that doesn’t look like isolation. Because the reality is—Perpetrators don’t always say:“You can’t go out.”“You can’t see your friends.” Sometimes, they do the opposite. They encourage it. And then punish you for it. Through personal experience, I walk you through how this plays out in real life: Being encouraged to go out… then met with abuse, chaos, or crisisFalse emergencies designed to create panic and pull you backEmotional punishment for doing exactly what you were told to doHow repeated patterns condition you to stop going anywhere at allOver time, it becomes easier to withdraw.Not because you were told to—But because the consequences became too much to manage. And that’s the part that’s often missed. To the outside world, it can look like: A supportive partnerA “fairy tale” relationshipA victim choosing to stay homeBut behind closed doors, the environment has been shaped so that:Isolation feels like the safest option. This episode also challenges how professionals assess risk. Because asking: “Did they ever stop you from going out?” …is not enough. We need to be asking: What happened when you did go out?Did it ever feel easier not to go?Because victims are not the experts in naming abuse.Professionals are supposed to be. If we don’t understand this dynamic, we don’t just misunderstand victims—we miss risk entirely. If you are navigating abuse, support links are in the link tree.If you’re a professional or survivor ready to deepen your understanding, you can also register your interest in trauma-informed training and resources via the link provided. https://linktr.ee/breakthecyclemovement

  4. May 15

    “When Risk Starts Young: Trauma, Belonging & Behaviour in Adolescence”

    In this powerful episode of the Domestic Abuse Breakthrough Show, Kate is joined once again by youth worker and lived-experience advocate Wesley Owen Cunliffe. Together, they explore the growing and deeply concerning reality facing young people today — from knife crime and exploitation to coercive control, peer pressure, and the blurred lines between “bullying” and abuse. Drawing on frontline experience and trauma-informed insight, this conversation goes beyond headlines to unpack: Why young people are increasingly carrying knives — and where that path leadsHow abuse is learned, repeated, and normalised in childhoodThe impact of social media, belonging, and identity on behaviourWhy “bullying” is often minimised language for something far more seriousThe confusion young people face around consent, relationships, and boundariesThe devastating consequences of five minutes of decision-makingHow early intervention, role models, and community support can break the cycleWes shares raw, honest insight from his own journey — and delivers a message every young person needs to hear: “The minute you pick up that blade… the clock starts ticking.” This episode is a must-listen for: ParentsSafeguarding professionalsEducatorsAnyone working with young peopleAnd young people themselvesBecause risk doesn’t suddenly appear in adulthood.It starts earlier.And if we don’t understand it, we miss it. If you are navigating abuse, support links are in the link tree.If you’re a professional or survivor ready to deepen your understanding, you can also register your interest in trauma-informed training and resources via the links provided. https://linktr.ee/breakthecyclemovement

    “When Risk Starts Young: Trauma, Belonging & Behaviour in Adolescence”

  5. May 11

    “We’re Looking at Risk All Wrong”

    ⚠️When we think about risk, most people focus on one thing: The risk of homicide. But that’s only one part of the picture. In this episode, I break down what I call the three pillars of risk—a framework that challenges the way safeguarding, policing, healthcare, and social care currently assess danger. Because if we only focus on whether someone might take a life…we miss everything happening before that point. In this episode, I explore: Pillar 1: Risk of homicidePillar 2: Risk of suicide and self-harm (for both victims and perpetrators)Pillar 3: The long-term impact on physical healthBecause prolonged exposure to trauma doesn’t just affect mental wellbeing—it impacts the body, increases disease risk, and can become life-threatening in its own right. A system focused on criminal thresholds instead of risk managementVictims being criminalised for trauma-driven responsesChildren being removed without addressing the wider risk environmentServices working in silos instead of as a safeguarding systemEarly warning signs being missed across schools, healthcare, and workplacesThis episode looks at the bigger picture: Why early intervention is criticalHow risk doesn’t disappear—it changes formThe role of schools, healthcare, workplaces, and the justice system in identifying risk soonerWhy conviction should never be the primary goal—safety shouldAnd why victims should never be expected to be the experts in their own abuseThis isn’t just about understanding risk. It’s about rethinking how we respond to it—across every system that comes into contact with victims and perpetrators. Because right now, we’re reacting to crisis. When we should be preventing it. 🔺 The Three Pillars of Risk⚠️ What’s going wrong right now🔍 What needs to change If you are personally navigating a situation like this, or need support post-separation, you can access the Heal & Self Advocacy Hub and the Safety Exit Plan via the link below.If you are a professional—or someone who has come through the storm and now wants to support others—you can also register your interest in accredited trauma-informed training, available for individuals and teams.🔗 ⁠https://linktr.ee/breakthecyclemovement

  6. May 7

    “When Risk Hides in Plain Sight: Lessons from the Southport Inquiry”

    In this episode, I’m joined by specialist psychiatric nurse Nicola Noel to unpack one of the most difficult but necessary conversations in safeguarding today—how risk is repeatedly missed, and why the consequences can be fatal. Using the findings from the Southport inquiry as a starting point, we explore the uncomfortable truth:the warning signs were there… and the outcome was preventable. This isn’t about blame.It’s about understanding where systems are failing—and what needs to change. We cover: Why focusing on isolated incidents instead of patterns allows risk to escalateHow early warning signs in childhood are often misunderstood or dismissedThe impact of poor information sharing and lack of accountability across servicesThe dangerous gap between mental health and criminal justice systems, and how risk gets passed between themWhy exclusion, labelling, and minimisation can make situations worse—not betterHow the same behavioural patterns seen here mirror those in domestic abuse and coercive control casesWe also explore a critical question:Are we too focused on avoiding criminalisation… at the cost of protecting lives? This conversation goes beyond one case.It highlights a much bigger issue: 👉 Risk is not always obvious👉 It is not always easy to evidence👉 And when we don’t understand it—we don’t just miss itWe create the conditions for harm Whether you’re a professional working in safeguarding, mental health, education or policing—or someone trying to make sense of your own experience—this episode will challenge the way you think about risk, responsibility, and intervention. Because the reality is this: Patterns save lives.But only if we’re trained to see them. You can check out Nicola's work here: And as always if you are impacted by abuse and need support or your a professional wanting to expand your own professional lens, head to the link tree: https://linktr.ee/breakthecyclemovement

    “When Risk Hides in Plain Sight: Lessons from the Southport Inquiry”

  7. May 4

    He Never Touched Me… But I Was Still Afraid

    In this episode, I break down a form of risk that is often missed — not because it isn’t there, but because it doesn’t look the way people expect it to. We’re taught to look for clear threats, visible harm, or obvious warning signs. But what happens when the fear is real… and yet nothing “concrete” seems to explain it? Drawing on my own experience, I walk you through how perpetrators can create fear without ever making a direct threat. How seeds of uncertainty are planted, reinforced, and used to gain control — often leaving victims questioning their own reality. This isn’t about misunderstanding. This is about psychological destabilisation. I also explain why risk often increases at the point of disclosure, why leaving can be the most dangerous time, and why listening to your instinct matters — even when you can’t fully make sense of it. This episode is for both survivors and professionals who want to better understand how risk operates beneath the surface — and why we must learn to make the invisible visible. Important: Safety always comes first. If you are in immediate danger or something is escalating, contact emergency services. If you are personally navigating a situation like this, or need support post-separation, you can access the Heal & Self Advocacy Hub and the Safety Exit Plan via the link below. If you are a professional—or someone who has come through the storm and now wants to support others—you can also register your interest in accredited trauma-informed training, available for individuals and teams. 🔗 https://linktr.ee/breakthecyclemovement

  8. May 2

    Timing & Patterns Matter When Reporting To Police

    Most people are told to report abuse immediately. But what if reporting at the wrong time actually increased your risk? In this episode, I break down one of the most misunderstood aspects of domestic abuse—when to report, and when waiting could be the safer and more effective option. We explore the key legal differences between coercive control and stalking, why some cases struggle to meet criminal thresholds, and how patterns of behaviour—not isolated incidents—are often what determine outcomes. I also share practical, trauma-informed guidance on: How to safely exit a relationshipWhy boundaries and written communication are critical post-separationHow to build a stronger evidential pictureThe mistakes that can unintentionally increase riskThis episode is for both survivors navigating abuse and professionals supporting them, offering insight into how risk is often misunderstood—and what needs to change. Because understanding behaviour isn’t enough. Recognising patterns is what saves lives. If you need support or want to access the safety exit plan mentioned in this episode, you’ll find the link tree And if you’re a professional or even a survivor looking to deepen your understanding of trauma-informed risk and pattern-based assessment, you can also register your interest using the link provided in the link tree ⁠https://linktr.ee/breakthecyclemovement

  9. Apr 29

    The Relaunch: Why Understanding Abuse, Trauma & Risk Matters More Than Ever

    Welcome to the relaunch of the Domestic Abuse Breakthrough Show. In this episode, I share why this platform has moved, what you can expect going forward, and why understanding coercive control, trauma, and risk has never been more important. This show is for both survivors and professionals—because the gaps in understanding are still costing people their safety. If you are navigating abuse, you are not alone. If you are a professional, this is your opportunity to deepen your understanding and recognise risk more effectively. You’ll find links in the Linktree to support, resources, and ways to access further guidance. https://linktr.ee/breakthecyclemovement If you feel in immediate risk, please call your country's emergency services.

  • 9 Episodes

About

The Domestic Abuse Breakthrough Show – Where risk is understood, not missed. This podcast explores hidden patterns of domestic abuse, including coercive control, trauma responses, and overlooked risk. Hosted by trauma-informed domestic abuse and risk awareness specialist Kate Beesley, each episode helps professionals & survivors recognise danger earlier and respond more effectively. Voted 2nd favourite UK Health Radio show in 2025, recognised for outstanding contribution to the health industry. Visit www.sayno-das.co.uk to request access to our support hub for Professionals & Survivors.

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