Mom Parent ADHD

Lola Swaby
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Mom Parent ADHD is a podcast for moms raising children with ADHD who are carrying a lot and need support that feels real. Hosted by Lola Swaby, this show offers practical routines, emotional regulation tools, school advocacy guidance, and honest encouragement for the messy, beautiful journey of parenting a child with ADHD. From the perspective of a mom who is also parenting a child with ADHD. lolamswaby.substack.com

  1. Aug 26

    ADHD School Behavior: What Happened Before the Refusal?

    ADHD School Behavior: What Happened Before the Refusal? When the same school problem keeps happening, look at what your child was still able to do before the moment changed. A school behavior message can be completely true and still start the story too late. When you read, “He refused the worksheet,” it can sound like the whole event has already been explained. But when the same concern keeps coming back, there may be a more useful place to begin than the behavior that happened at the end. In this episode of the Mom Parent ADHD Podcast, I talk about something I wish I had understood earlier as a mom: why repeatedly asking our children “Why did you do that?” may not always get us the information we actually need. This is not about excusing difficult behavior or trying to explain every school problem through ADHD. It is about knowing where to look when a broad concern keeps showing up and you need a better starting point for the next conversation. In This Episode, we talk about: Why a behavior message may begin at the most visible part of the problem rather than the most useful part. What can get missed when a recurring school concern is described in very broad terms. Why asking your child “why” may sometimes require more explanation than your child can give you in that moment. How a more specific question can help you understand what deserves your attention without turning every school difficulty into an investigation. Why you do not need to choose between immediately defending your child and immediately correcting your child. How to approach a repeated school concern without assuming you already know what caused it. A Moment to Reflect Think about one school concern you have heard more than once. When you hear it, what happens in your mind first? Do you start trying to figure out why your child did it? Do you feel pressure to correct the problem before it happens again? Or, do you find yourself questioning whether the description really fits what you know about your child? You do not need to solve anything during this reflection. Just think about whether you have been focusing mostly on the part of the situation that happened at the end. As you listen to this episode, keep that one concern in mind and see whether the conversation gives you a different place to begin. Continue The Prepared Advocate Series This episode is part of The Prepared Advocate Series, helping moms to bring what they know into the advocacy conversation. Read Monday’s Companion Article: ADHD School Behavior Messages: Before You Respond. A school notification can quickly feel like another parenting assignment. In the article, I talk about what happens after that message reaches home and why being informed about a difficult school moment does not automatically mean another round of correction, questioning, or problem-solving needs to happen there. More Support From Mom Parent ADHD School concerns can stay with us long after the school day has ended. Sometimes the message itself is only one part of what you are carrying. There is also homework, dinner, appointments, family responsibilities, your own worries, and that feeling that one more problem has just been added to your list. From Chaos to Calm: A 30-Day Rescue Plan for ADHD Moms and the companion From Chaos to Calm in 30 Days Workbook were created for those fuller moments of motherhood. They can help you slow things down, work through what is weighing on you, and decide what needs your attention without expecting yourself to solve everything at once. Learn More About the From Chaos to Calm Guide and Workbook Stay Connected With Mom Parent ADHD You can continue the conversation inside our ADHD Mom Advocacy Community on Skool, where we talk about the practical and emotional side of advocating for our children while still making room for ourselves. You can find more from Mom Parent ADHD here: Website: MomParentADHD.com Substack: https://lolamswaby.substack.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@MomParentADHD Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/momparentadhd/ Threads: https://www.threads.com/@momparentadhd Skool: https://www.skool.com/exhale-reset-adhd-moms-3852/about You can also follow and subscribe to the Mom Parent ADHD Podcast on Substack, Spotify, or Apple Podcasts, so you do not miss the next episode in The Prepared Advocate Series. Episode Takeaway When the same school concern keeps coming back, the behavior that gets reported may not be the only part worth paying attention to. Sometimes a better question can take the conversation somewhere the label never could. Important Note The Mom Parent ADHD Podcast shares general educational information, personal experience, and practical support for parents. It is not medical, mental health, educational, clinical, or legal advice, and listening does not create an attorney-client relationship. Every child and every family situation is different. When you need guidance about your child’s individual circumstances, please speak with the appropriate qualified professional. Get full access to Mom Parent ADHD at lolamswaby.substack.com/subscribe

    ADHD School Behavior: What Happened Before the Refusal?

  2. Aug 20

    When You Don’t Know Yet: ADHD, School, and the Pressure to Have Answers

    Season 2, Episode 6 When You Don’t Know Yet: ADHD, School, and the Pressure to Have Answers Why uncertainty can feel so uncomfortable when it is your child, and how to stay curious without forcing yourself to know too soon. Your child makes one comment after school and suddenly your mind is several steps ahead. Was something wrong today? Is this the beginning of a bigger problem? Should you contact the teacher now, or are you making too much of one difficult moment? When it involves our children, not knowing can feel surprisingly uncomfortable. We want to respond well, but sometimes that desire creates another kind of pressure: the feeling that we should already understand what is happening. In this episode of the Mom Parent ADHD Podcast, I talk about that space before the answer becomes clear. Not every concern arrives with enough information to explain it. Sometimes we are still trying to understand what we heard, what we saw, and whether it means anything beyond today. This conversation is about what happens inside us during that uncertainty and why being a prepared advocate does not require having every answer before we ask a question. In This Episode We talk about why one small clue can send a mother’s mind searching for an explanation, how previous experiences can make uncertainty harder to sit with, and what can happen when being prepared begins to feel like needing to know immediately. Most of all, this is a conversation about giving yourself room to be curious while the situation is still unfolding. A Moment to Reflect Think about something involving your child that you are trying to understand right now. Before deciding what you believe it means, ask yourself: What do I actually know today? Then consider what remains unanswered. You do not need to solve the unanswered part during this reflection. Just notice whether your mind has already started trying to fill it in. Continue With The Prepared Advocate Series This episode is part of The Prepared Advocate Series, where we look at advocacy as it happens in real life, including the moments before the email, meeting, appointment, or conversation when you are still figuring out what needs your attention. This week’s Monday article is: Is My Child With ADHD Adjusting to School or Beginning to Struggle? Stay Connected If these conversations feel familiar, come join us inside the ADHD Mom Advocacy Community on Skool. It is a space for mothers raising children with ADHD to talk about advocacy, everyday parenting, and the parts of this work that can be difficult to carry alone. You can also find more Mom Parent ADHD articles, podcast episodes, videos, and resources at MomParentADHD.com and follow Mom Parent ADHD on Substack, Facebook, Instagram, Threads, LinkedIn, and YouTube. If a difficult day tends to follow you into the next school email, decision, or conversation, you can also explore From Chaos to Calm: A 30-Day Rescue Plan for ADHD Moms and the companion From Chaos to Calm in 30 Days Workbook. About the Host Lola M. Swaby, Esq. is an attorney with 30 years of legal experience, an author, and a mother raising a son with ADHD and autism. She is co-founder of Mom Parent ADHD and creator of The Prepared Advocate Series. Her work combines practical advocacy education with the lived experience of navigating school concerns, evaluations, accommodations, and the everyday decisions that come with raising a child who learns and experiences the world differently. Educational Disclaimer Mom Parent ADHD shares general educational information and personal experience. This podcast is not medical, mental health, educational, or legal advice. Your child’s needs and circumstances are individual, so please speak with the appropriate qualified professionals when you need guidance about your child. Get full access to Mom Parent ADHD at lolamswaby.substack.com/subscribe

  3. Aug 12

    When You’re Afraid a New Teacher Will Misunderstand Your Child’s ADHD

    There is a particular kind of pressure that can show up when your child is about to work with a new teacher. You want to share the things that will help. You remember the misunderstandings that happened before. Then somewhere in the middle of preparing, you may find yourself trying to explain enough to make sure nobody reaches the wrong conclusion about your child this time. In this episode of the Mom Parent ADHD Podcast, Lola talks about the fear underneath that urge to get there first. Sometimes we are not only trying to give a teacher useful information. We are hoping that if we explain enough now, we will never have to hear our child described in a way that feels completely wrong later. That is an understandable hope, especially when you have already had to work your way back from a misunderstanding. It is also a lot of responsibility for one mother to carry. In this episode, we talk about where useful preparation ends, why correcting an impression later can feel so emotionally difficult, and what happens when we quietly begin asking an introductory email or conversation to guarantee how another adult will see our child months from now. Lola also shares a simple practice you can use when preparing to introduce your child to someone new. In This Episode We talk about why a mother may feel pressure to explain her child before someone else forms an opinion, why a previous misunderstanding can follow you into a new school year, and how trying to prevent another difficult advocacy conversation can make an introduction carry more than you realize. We also explore the limits of preparation, why a new relationship will always contain things you cannot know yet, and why a misunderstanding later does not automatically mean you failed to prepare well enough today. Most of all, this episode is a reminder that you can give someone a useful place to begin without taking responsibility for every conclusion they may form in the future. One Thought to Keep With You A misunderstanding later does not automatically mean you failed to prepare well enough today. You are allowed to respond to the school year you actually have instead of trying to solve the entire year before it begins. You can prepare someone to meet your child without trying to write the whole relationship in advance. You do not have to live a difficult moment twice by carrying it into the school year before it has happened. Related Support If school concerns tend to follow you long after the conversation ends, From Chaos To Calm: A 30-Day Rescue Plan For ADHD Moms and its companion From Chaos To Calm In 30 Days Workbook can help you slow down, separate what is happening from what you are afraid may happen, and decide what deserves your attention today. Inside Mom Parent ADHD: The Exhale & Reset Room on Skool, mothers can also find advocacy support, reflection tools, and community with other moms who understand why something as ordinary as a school email can carry years of history behind it. Part of The Prepared Advocate Series This episode is part of The Prepared Advocate Series from Mom Parent ADHD. Each article and podcast in the series stands on its own and focuses on a different part of preparing for important conversations involving your child. Together, the series helps mothers develop practical advocacy skills while also making room for the emotional weight mothers often carry behind those conversations. Stay Connected With Mom Parent ADHD Join Mom Parent ADHD: The Exhale & Reset Room on Skool for community, advocacy support, and practical reflection tools for mothers raising children with ADHD. Explore the From Chaos To Calm Guide and Workbook at MomParentADHD.com. You can also follow Mom Parent ADHD on YouTube, Instagram, Threads, and Substack for new articles, podcast episodes, advocacy conversations, and practical support. About Lola Lola M. Swaby, Esq. is an attorney with 30 years of legal experience, an author, and a mother raising a son with ADHD and autism. Her work is shaped by both her professional experience and her lived experience navigating school concerns, evaluations, accommodations, and advocacy for her child. She is the author of From Chaos To Calm: A 30-Day Rescue Plan For ADHD Moms and From Chaos To Calm In 30 Days Workbook and a co-founder of Mom Parent ADHD. Through The Prepared Advocate Series, the Mom Parent ADHD Podcast, YouTube, and the Mom Parent ADHD Skool community, Lola shares practical advocacy education, reflection tools, and honest mom-to-mom support for mothers raising children with ADHD. A Note About This Podcast Mom Parent ADHD shares general educational information and personal experience. This podcast is not medical, mental health, educational, or legal advice. Every child’s needs and circumstances are individual. Speak with the appropriate qualified professionals when you need guidance about your child. Get full access to Mom Parent ADHD at lolamswaby.substack.com/subscribe

  4. Jul 29

    Why ADHD Moms Agree Too Quickly in School Conversations

    You may enter a school meeting, phone call, or appointment determined to be calm and cooperative. Then, without realizing it, you begin paying more attention to how you are being perceived than to the concern that brought you there. In this episode of The Prepared Advocate Series, we are talking about how the desire to be seen as reasonable and easy to work with can quietly move a mother away from her real question. You will learn how one carefully chosen sentence can help you return to the reason you asked for the conversation without arguing or becoming confrontational. Why ADHD Moms Agree Too Quickly in School Conversations How often have you left a conversation about your child relieved that no one became uncomfortable, only to realize that your concern was never fully addressed? You may have listened carefully, answered every question, and tried to show that you respected the teacher, doctor, therapist, or school professional. At the same time, you may have been making quiet calculations about how you were being received. Should I ask again? Am I taking too much time? Do they think I am blaming them? What if they stop being open with me? In this episode, Lola shares why she sometimes needed to sit in her car before son’s school meetings, even after decades of representing clients in depositions, mediations, and courtrooms. The difficulty was not a lack of communication skills. The conversation involved her child, and she wanted to be heard without damaging a relationship he still needed. This episode explores how being seen as “easy to work with” can become an invisible goal that replaces the purpose of the conversation. You will also learn how to prepare one return sentence that helps you calmly bring the discussion back to the concern you do not want to leave unspoken. In this episode, we talk about: Why a calm conversation can still be incomplete The emotional work mothers perform while monitoring how they are being perceived How school, therapy, and medical conversations can drift from the original concern The difference between returning to a question and arguing How to identify the meaning beneath your first concern A simple sentence to keep visible during an important conversation. The central advocacy lesson You do not preserve collaboration by disappearing from it. A calm relationship can survive a clear question. Related support This episode is part of The Prepared Advocate Series, created to help mothers parenting children with ADHD feel more prepared for conversations with teachers, school teams, doctors, therapists, and other professionals involved in their child’s life. The reflection practices in From Chaos to Calm: A 30-Day Rescue Plan for ADHD Moms and From Chaos to Calm in 30 Days Workbook can help you slow difficult moments down, notice what you are carrying, and choose one grounded next step. Inside the Mom Parent ADHD Skool community, the Prepared Advocate resources and live Advocacy & Exhale Table provide additional space to think through these conversations, practice clearer language, and advocate without losing yourself in the process. Read the Monday companion article Visit MomParentADHD.com, and follow Mom Parent ADHD on YouTube, Substack, Instagram, and Threads. Get full access to Mom Parent ADHD at lolamswaby.substack.com/subscribe

  5. Jul 22

    When ADHD Does Not Look Innocent on a Black Child

    When ADHD Does Not Look Innocent on a Black Child Before a Black child is called defiant, disruptive, lazy, or disrespectful, we need to ask what the adults around that child may be missing. I once made an unannounced visit to my son’s first-grade classroom and found him sitting alone in a corner. The rest of the class was receiving instruction. He had no work in front of him, and no one appeared to be helping him return to the lesson. I could not know everything that happened before I arrived. But I could not stop wondering what the adults in that room had already decided about him. Did they see a six-year-old child who needed help? Or had they decided he was choosing not to participate? In this episode of the Mom Parent ADHD Podcast, I talk about what can happen when a Black child’s ADHD struggle is interpreted as a character problem. Confusion may be called defiance. Impulsivity may be called disrespect. Overwhelm may be called an attitude. Difficulty beginning a task may be called laziness. The behavior is visible. The need underneath it may not be. In This Episode, we talk about: Why Black children with ADHD may not receive the same benefit of the doubt. How a description of what happened can quietly become a judgment about who a child is. The different ways Black boys and Black girls may be misunderstood or overlooked. The two fears Black mothers may carry while trying to protect and prepare their children. How to bring a school conversation back to facts without excusing difficult behavior. This episode is especially for the mother who has heard her child described in a way that left out everything the child was struggling to manage. It is also for the mother who has wondered whether she was being too sensitive, too protective, or too quick to notice that something about the way her child was being treated did not feel right. You are not wrong for paying attention. A Thought to Carry With You When you hear a label, ask for the facts underneath it. You do not have to prove that your child is perfect. You are asking the adults around your child to respond to what actually happened instead of relying on assumptions about why it happened. Stay Connected Continue the conversation and find more support from Mom Parent ADHD: Read and listen to more from The Prepared Advocate Series here on Substack. This Series was created to help mothers feel more grounded when communicating with schools, doctors, therapists, evaluators, and other professionals. Join Mom Parent ADHD: The Exhale & Reset Room on Skool for practical advocacy support, helpful tools, and community with other moms raising children with ADHD. Follow Mom Parent ADHD on YouTube, Instagram, and Threads. Visit MomParentADHD.com for resources, updates, and additional support. You do not have to carry this work by yourself. Important Note This podcast shares general advocacy support and Lola’s personal experience as a mother raising a child with ADHD. It does not provide medical, mental health, educational, or legal advice, and it does not create an attorney-client relationship. Please speak with an appropriately qualified professional who can consider your child’s individual circumstances. Research Referenced in This Episode [1] Fadus, Matthew C., et al. “Unconscious Bias and the Diagnosis of Disruptive Behavior Disorders and ADHD in African American and Hispanic Youth.” Academic Psychiatry, vol. 44, no. 1, 2020, pp. 95–102. Springer, https://doi.org/10.1007/s40596-019-01127-6. [2] Glasofer, Amy, and Catherine Dingley. “Diagnostic and Medication Treatment Disparities in African American Children with ADHD: A Literature Review.” Journal of Racial and Ethnic Health Disparities, vol. 9, no. 5, 2022, pp. 2027–2048. Springer, https://doi.org/10.1007/s40615-021-01142-0. [3] Morgan, Paul L., et al. “Sociodemographic Disparities in ADHD Diagnosis and Treatment among U.S. Elementary Schoolchildren.” Psychiatry Research, vol. 327, 2023, article 115385. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychres.2023.115393. [4] Goff, Phillip Atiba, et al. “The Essence of Innocence: Consequences of Dehumanizing Black Children.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, vol. 106, no. 4, 2014, pp. 526–545. American Psychological Association, https://doi.org/10.1037/a0035663. [5] Epstein, Rebecca, Jamilia J. Blake, and Thalia González. Girlhood Interrupted: The Erasure of Black Girls’ Childhood. Center on Poverty and Inequality, Georgetown Law, 2017, https://www.law.georgetown.edu/poverty-inequality-center/wp-content/uploads/sites/14/2017/08/girlhood-interrupted.pdf. [6] Tam, Lok Yee Chloe, Yanisa Taechameekietichai, and Jennifer L. Allen. “Individual Child Factors Affecting the Diagnosis of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) in Children and Adolescents: A Systematic Review.” European Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, vol. 34, no. 5, 2025, pp. 1469–1496. Springer, https://doi.org/10.1007/s00787-024-02590-9. Get full access to Mom Parent ADHD at lolamswaby.substack.com/subscribe

  6. Jul 15

    How To Explain Your Child’s ADHD Concerns When You Cannot Find The Right Words

    You walk into a school meeting, doctor’s appointment, or conversation with a specialist knowing there is something important you need to say. Then the questions begin. Someone is taking notes. The clock is moving. You start explaining what happened last week, remember something from the month before, and suddenly the heart of your concern is buried beneath all the details. In this episode of the Mom Parent ADHD Podcast, Lola talks about the pressure of trying to explain a complicated ADHD concern during a short conversation. You are not struggling because you have nothing useful to say. You are trying to carry weeks of observations, emotions, and unanswered questions through a very small opening. This episode introduces one sentence you can return to when the conversation begins moving too quickly: “The part I most need you to understand is…” Through the story of a child who begins avoiding robotics club after becoming confused and embarrassed in front of the group, Lola shows how one difficult moment can grow into something deeper. A child who once felt excited to participate may begin believing they are always the one who gets things wrong. You will hear how to bring that concern into a conversation without trying to diagnose the cause or explain your child’s entire history. In This Episode Lola talks about: How time pressure can make your thoughts feel scattered during a meeting or appointment. Why trying to include every detail can bury the concern you most need someone to understand. How to use the sentence, “The part I most need you to understand is…” when you lose your place. Why your child’s words after a difficult moment may reveal something that behavior alone does not show. How confusion and embarrassment can begin turning into avoidance for a child with ADHD. What to say when someone focuses on grades, responsibility, or the visible reaction but misses the change that worries you. How to ask for help when you do not yet know which support or next step would be appropriate. Why it is acceptable to send a short follow-up message when the clearest words arrive after the meeting. A Sentence to Carry With You Before your next meeting or appointment, write: “The part I most need you to understand is…” Finish the sentence with the concern that would feel incomplete if it were left out. You can then add one recent moment, something important your child said, and what has started to change because the concern keeps happening. You are not preparing a speech. You are protecting the part you do not want the room to miss. Continue The Prepared Advocate Series This episode is part of The Prepared Advocate Series, created to help mothers feel more grounded when communicating with schools, doctors, therapists, and other specialists. Read the related Monday article: How to Explain Your Child’s ADHD Struggles Clearly More Support From Mom Parent ADHD When daily family life has felt rushed or emotionally crowded, it can be difficult to separate one concern from everything else that happened during the week. The From Chaos to Calm Guide and companion workbook offer space to slow down, notice what keeps repeating, and put words around experiences that can otherwise blur together. The reflection you do there may help you recognize what matters most before an important conversation. Continue reading and listening through Mom Parent ADHD on Substack, the Mom Parent ADHD website, YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Instagram, and Threads. Important Note This podcast shares general advocacy support and Lola’s personal experience as a mother raising a child with ADHD. It does not replace guidance from a qualified medical, mental health, educational, or legal professional who can consider your child’s individual circumstances. Please contact an appropriate professional when a concern is severe, worsening, affecting safety, or significantly interfering with daily life. Episode Takeaway You are not expected to fit your child’s entire story into one appointment. When the conversation begins moving too quickly, return to the part you do not want anyone to miss. Get full access to Mom Parent ADHD at lolamswaby.substack.com/subscribe

  7. Jul 8

    You Don’t Have To Be An ADHD Expert To Advocate For Your Child

    You Don’t Have To Be An ADHD Expert To Advocate For Your Child Why Your Everyday Knowledge Matters In Conversations With Schools, Doctors, Therapists, And Specialists When a school meeting, doctor’s appointment, or specialist conversation is placed on the calendar, it is easy to feel as though you have homework to do before you are allowed to speak. You may start searching unfamiliar terms late at night. One article leads to another, and before long, you have several tabs open, a pile of information you are not sure how to use, and even less confidence than when you started. Underneath all that searching is often one quiet fear: What if everyone in the room knows more than I do? In this opening episode of The Prepared Advocate Series, Lola talks about why you do not need to become an ADHD expert before bringing a concern into the conversation. Teachers, doctors, therapists, and specialists bring important professional knowledge. You bring something they cannot gather during one classroom observation or short appointment. You know what mornings look like, what happens after school, how long recovery takes, what certain silences mean, and which patterns have followed your child across time. Your observations do not replace professional expertise. They add the part of your child’s life that may otherwise be missing. This episode also looks at the “expert trap,” which can happen when you become so focused on learning general information about ADHD that you lose sight of the child the meeting is actually about. You do not need to arrive with clinical language or a perfect explanation. A clear account of what you have seen can be more useful than a collection of terms you are still trying to understand. In This Episode Lola discusses: * Why scheduled meetings can trigger pressure to research everything * The difference between professional knowledge and parental knowledge * Why what you see at home may differ from what others see at school * How the “expert trap” can pull attention away from your child’s actual experience * What useful everyday observations can sound like * Three simple things to bring into your next conversation Three Things to Bring Into the Room Before your next meeting or appointment, bring one recent moment you remember clearly. Write down what was happening, what your child did, and what you noticed. Bring one question you genuinely want answered. It does not have to sound impressive. It should be the question that keeps returning to you. And give yourself permission to ask for plain language. When a term or explanation feels unclear, ask what it looks like during an ordinary day in your child’s life. You do not need hours of research to do these things. You need enough space to remember what matters. A Moment to Reflect Think about an upcoming or recent conversation concerning your child. What did you feel pressure to know before entering the room? Now set that pressure aside for a moment and ask yourself: What is one thing I know because I have watched my child live through it? It might be what happens before a shutdown, how long your child needs to recover after school, what helps them begin a task, or what they mean when they say, “I don’t know.” Write that observation in your own words. Do not add professional language unless it is language you already use naturally. Then consider one question that grows out of what you noticed. Related Support From Mom Parent ADHD Preparing for an important conversation can feel harder when home life already feels stretched. If you are also trying to create calmer routines, recover after difficult moments, or better understand the patterns shaping your days, the From Chaos to Calm Guide and Workbook offer practical support you can move through at your own pace. They are not advocacy manuals, but they may help you create more room to notice, reflect, and respond with greater clarity. Explore the From Chaos to Calm Guide and Workbook Stay Connected With Mom Parent ADHD Continue with The Prepared Advocate Series and find more support for raising a child with ADHD: Mom Parent ADHD Website Substack YouTube Instagram Threads You can also join Mom Parent ADHD: The Exhale & Reset Room Skool community, a judgment-free community for moms raising children with ADHD who are tired of feeling overwhelmed, guilty, and alone. Important Note This podcast provides general educational and parenting information based on Lola’s personal experience as a mother raising a child with ADHD. It is not legal, medical, mental health, educational, or professional advice or representation. Please consult the appropriate qualified professional about your child’s individual needs. Closing Reflection Your child does not need you to know everything the people in the room know. Your child needs you to bring what only you can bring. Get full access to Mom Parent ADHD at lolamswaby.substack.com/subscribe

  8. Jul 2

    How Constant Correction Can Affect Your ADHD Child’s Heart

    How Constant Correction Can Affect Your ADHD Child’s Heart What Repeated Reminders May Teach Your Child About Mistakes, Disappointment, And Your Relationship Your child may ask, “Are you mad at me?” before you have corrected them at all. They may already be reading your face, your tone, or the pause that usually comes before another reminder. For a child with ADHD, repeated correction can begin to feel like more than guidance. They may rush to explain a mistake, say, “I know,” before you finish the question, or hide something small because they are more afraid of your reaction than the mistake itself. In this episode, I talk honestly about what can happen when correction starts taking up more room than connection. This is not about blaming mothers or pretending our children never need limits. It is about noticing what your child may be reading in the moments between the words. I also share what I am learning about repair, the small pause I try to take before correcting my son, and why coming back matters more than getting every response right. In This Episode I talk about: How your child may begin reading your face, tone, and silence before another correction comes. Why defensiveness may be a way of protecting themselves from disappointment. Why becoming quieter or easier to manage does not always mean your child feels safer. The difference between knowing they are loved and feeling that you still enjoy being with them. How correction can crowd out connection, and what repair can sound like after a hard moment. A Reflection for You Think about the last time your child reacted as though you were upset before you had said much. What might they have noticed? It could have been your tone, your expression, the way you sighed, or the fact that they have heard the same kind of reminder many times before. This is not about blaming yourself. It is simply a chance to notice what may be happening underneath the moment. You might ask yourself: Has correction been taking up more space than connection lately? Does my child feel safe bringing me mistakes, or do they try to hide them? What is one sentence I could use to repair a hard moment? You do not need a perfect answer. Start with the question that stays with you. A Small Practice for This Week Before your next correction, look at your child’s face. Pause long enough to remember who you are speaking to. The rule may still matter, and the task or behavior may still need your attention. Your child also needs to know that the moment has not changed the relationship. You might say: “I said that too harshly. Let me try again.” “I know I have been giving you a lot of reminders today.” “You can tell me what happened. We will figure it out.” Use words that sound natural in your home. From Chaos to Calm Resources If you have been thinking, “I need help slowing these moments down in my own home,” I created the From Chaos to Calm Guide and Workbook for mothers who are trying to do exactly that. I created these resources for the moments when you know something needs to change, but you are too tired or overwhelmed to figure out what to do next. They help you look at what is happening with your child, what is happening inside you, and how to find your way back after a hard moment. From Chaos to Calm Guide From Chaos to Calm Workbook Chaos to Calm Complete Bundle Join the Conversation Has your child ever reacted as though you were upset before you had said much? What do you think they noticed? You can leave a comment below. Your answer may help another mother feel less alone. Stay in Touch You can find more of my articles, podcast episodes, and practical support for moms raising children with ADHD here: Substack YouTube Instagram Threads You can also join us inside Mom Parent ADHD: The Exhale & Reset Room, a Skool community where moms raising children with ADHD can talk honestly, ask questions, and be supported by people who understand the day-to-day reality. Join the Exhale & Reset Room Important Note I am not a doctor, therapist, or medical professional. Nothing shared in this podcast is medical, mental health, educational, or legal advice. Everything I share comes from my personal experience as a mom raising a child with ADHD. If your child’s behavior is unsafe, severe, or becoming difficult for your family to manage, please connect with a qualified professional who can consider your family’s full situation. Get full access to Mom Parent ADHD at lolamswaby.substack.com/subscribe

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About

Mom Parent ADHD is a podcast for moms raising children with ADHD who are carrying a lot and need support that feels real. Hosted by Lola Swaby, this show offers practical routines, emotional regulation tools, school advocacy guidance, and honest encouragement for the messy, beautiful journey of parenting a child with ADHD. From the perspective of a mom who is also parenting a child with ADHD. lolamswaby.substack.com

Information

  • Creator
    Lola Swaby
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    19
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Lola M. Swaby
  • Show Website
    Mom Parent ADHD