Cry Harder Podcast

Chris Black

Welcome to Cry Harder, where we turn life’s absolute disasters into premium content. I’m Chris Black: husband, girl-dad to a chaotic 4-year-old, and your host for this sarcastic deep dive into the unhinged saga of my life. Expect unsolicited advice, questionable choices, and the kind of oversharing my therapist warned me about. Grab your tissues and let’s make it worse. New episodes every Saturday!

  1. 1d ago

    42. Are People Who Camp Out for Products Deranged?

    Are people who camp out in lines for new products psychologically deranged? Chris Black is back for Episode 42 of the Cry Harder Podcast, and he is breaking down the psychological delusion of manufactured tech scarcity, why early-morning airport drinking is a necessary survival instinct, and grading the internet’s worst rants.We also dive into a massive Movie Review segment, grading "Planes, Trains and Automobiles" (the ultimate Thanksgiving movie), "Forever My Girl," and "Carrie Pilby." Plus, a rain-soaked Halloween wizard recap and some heavy family drama in the Cry Harder Chronicles.Timestamps:0:00 - Rant of the Week 1: Are People Who Camp Out for Products Deranged?6:34 - Rant of the Week 2: Leave My 7 AM Airport Jack & Diet Alone14:11 - Tear Factor: Grading Reddit's Worst Rants (Bad Parents, Dating Apps, & Co-Parenting Nightmare)30:57 - Movie Reviews: Planes, Trains and Automobiles (Pluto TV Ads Ruined It)40:28 - Movie Reviews: Forever My Girl (A New Comfort Movie?)46:43 - Movie Reviews: Carrie Pilby (Quirky But Worth It)53:10 - Cry Harder Chronicles: A Rainy Halloween Wizard & Brother’s Celebration of Life Drama56:12 - Outro: See You Next Saturday#CryHarder #Podcast #MovieReviews #RedditRants #PlanesTrainsAndAutomobiles #AppleDuo

  2. Oct 31

    41. Why Is My Eye Doctor Asking For My Body Count?

    The eye doctor intake form just crossed a major line. 👁️ On this massive, heavy-hitting Rant Special edition of the Cry Harder Podcast, host Chris Black welcomes back our official Returning Special Guest—the absolute best ranter east of the Mississippi—the one and only Mike from Philly! Mike is back in the studio, fully loaded, and completely out of patience as he joins Chris to unpack a laundry list of invasive corporate paperwork, chaotic public behavior, and modern nightmares with absolutely zero filters.We kick off the chaos by dissecting a truly bizarre eye doctor visit where the intake paperwork demanded to know Mike's entire relationship history and lifetime body count. The madness only escalates as Mike destroys the parents who double-park in active daycare zones and the deli counter workers suffocating sliced meat in a mountain of plastic wrappers. Chris steps up next to unload on the grueling, full-time second job of surviving five separate Halloweens, before a brutal Reddit Tear Factor breakdown takes aim at broken restaurant websites hiding their menus, the dystopian nightmare of needing a smartphone just to exist, and terrible drivers who refuse to use a turn signal.Timestamps:• 0:00 - Mike From Philly Special Guest Intro• 2:56 - Mike's Rant: The Eye Doctor Form Crossed the Line• 14:15 - Mike's Rant: Daycare Double-Parking Menace• 18:27 - Mike's Rant: The Deli Counter Plastic War• 23:25 - Chris's Rant: The 5 Halloweens Parenting Nightmare• 32:00 - Tear Factor: Why Restaurant Websites are Broken• 36:36 - Tear Factor: Dystopia and Needing a Phone to Exist• 42:05 - Tear Factor: The Late Turn Signal Debate• 47:54 - Outro#CryHarderPodcast #PodcastRants #MikeFromPhilly #RantSpecial #ParentingRants #TearFactor #ComedyPodcast

  3. Oct 24

    40. If You Do This In Public Bathrooms, Please Stop

    Welcome back to the Cry Harder Podcast! In the big 4-0 episode, Chris Black tackles the absolute death of privacy in public restrooms. If you are one of those people who treats a tiled bathroom stall like a personal acoustic recording studio—we need to have a serious talk. When strangers are trapped in a small, vulnerable box with you, aggressively blowing air through your teeth isn't a polite notification. It’s an acoustic hostage situation. Chris dives into the sensory nightmare of the restroom whistler and looks into the real psychology of why people actually do it. But the chaos doesn't stop at the restroom door. In this week's Tear Factor segment, Chris reacts to the internet's most unhinged Reddit rants and decides who is based and who is completely full of it. We’re tackling everything from retail corporations forcing Christmas down our throats in mid-October, to whether a guy complaining about his "creep" status at a bar is actually just a creep, to why modern doctors are too restrictive with meds, and a verified takedown of awful Boomer career advice ("just network better!"). To wrap things up, Chris hate-watches his way through the depths of Amazon streaming to bring you completely unfiltered movie reviews. He tears into the digital-nomad grief drama Love of Your Life (2026), Great American Family's bizarre A Harvest Homecoming (where 40-year-olds act like awkward 12-year-olds), and the ultimate Amish country masterpiece, Runaway Romance. Plus, a look into the weekly Cry Harder Chronicles covering soccer dad life, fall festivals, and the painful reminder that the Eagles continue to ruin everyone's weekend. If you managed to survive today’s unhinged chaos, make sure to follow the show, leave a 5-star rating, and share your worst public restroom horror stories with us! 🔗 CONNECT WITH THE SHOW: Watch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@CryHarderPodcastCatch up on the Best Rants Playlist: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBZOVHDYlc8&list=PLJF586Tm48jg&index=1Follow on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@cryharderpodcast

  4. Oct 17

    39. The Absolute Audacity of Backseat Drivers

    The backseat driver co-pilot delusion is officially out of hand. Welcome back to the Cry Harder Podcast with Chris Black! In Episode 39, we are breaking down the absolute audacity of passenger seat drivers who take zero accountability but have 100% of the criticism. From ignoring the GPS to causing structural high-stress hazards, we need to talk about why they are the actual danger on the road. We also dive into a packed show featuring:🥩 A mom who completely ruined a prime rib dinner by messing with the oven.🍻 The internet debate on bringing kids to breweries vs. bars.📚 Are libraries trying to ban quiet time?🍿 A truly unhinged movie review of Emerald Fennell's new Wuthering Heights adaptation starring Margot Robbie and Jacob Elordi.💔 Some wild relationship advice for a couple dealing with a plastic surgery fallout. Plus, a recap of a brutal Eagles game in London, preparing for tropical storm Rachel, and surviving an upcoming visit from the mother-in-law. If you managed to survive today’s unhinged chaos, make sure to follow the show and leave a 5-star review! We’ll be right back here next Saturday to make things significantly worse.

  5. Oct 10

    38. The Real Reason Your Grocery Bags Keep Ripping

    Hi. I'm back. I'm Chris Black and you're listening to the Cry Harder Podcast. This is episode 38 and we have a huge show for you today. We'll get into Rants, Tear Factor, and much more. We are going to drop so much knowledge on you today that your brain is going to explode! Let’s get into it! Have you noticed your 10-cent grocery bags have less structural integrity than a wet paper towel? You load up your groceries, lift the bag out of the cart, and the handles snap instantly. Or worse—one cold item sweats, turns the bottom into a trap door, and sends your jars smashing onto the asphalt. It turns out, there is an actual scientific—and legal—reason your bags keep ripping, and it all ties back to California's SB 1053 law. In this episode, we break down the brutal physics of recycled paper, the handle roulette, and the hidden environmental trade-offs between plastic film and carbon footprints. Plus, we explore how advanced chemistry could actually fix this mess. We also dive into a massive Tear Factor segment covering the brutal reality of inflation outpacing paychecks, why nobody talks about how weird human consciousness actually is, and the corporate greed of planned obsolescence dating back to the 1925 Phoebus Cartel. Finally, we review David Grusch's absolutely unhinged second interview on the Joe Rogan Experience—including alien warfare, living entities in detainment, and secret black budget operations. Plus, we look back at the Del Mar Wine & Food Festival, look forward to an upcoming kids' birthday party, and complain about having Indigenous People’s Day off while the kids still have school! 🎁 PROMOTING THE BOOK: Looking for the absolute perfect Christmas gift for the professional hater in your life? Grab a copy of the Cry Harder Nation Book today! Follow the Cry Harder Podcast:🎙️ Subscribe on YouTube for full video episodes!⭐ Leave us a 5-star review on Spotify if you love the show. If you managed to survive today’s unhinged chaos, don’t worry—we’ll be right back here next Saturday to make things significantly worse. I’m Chris Black. This is Cry Harder.

  6. Oct 3

    37. Stop Texting Your Family!

    Is there anything more exhausting than a family group text thread? Welcome back to the Cry Harder Podcast with Chris Black. This is episode 37 and we have a huge show for you today. First up, Chris goes on a tear about the true reality of the 24/7 family group chat—a chaotic digital prison built on "emotional hostage-taking" disguised as keeping in touch. Individually, your relatives are great. Inside a group text? It’s a full-time job. We break down the 3 main chat offenders: The Over-Documenter: The one who treats the chat like an unedited Truman Show or an involuntary Instagram feed, giving you a daily play-by-play of blurry coffee cups, half-eaten sandwiches, and traffic videos.The Novelist: The one who refuses to be concise, hitting you with walls of text that require a "Read More" button, usually packed with TMI medical details nobody asked for.The Ghost: The lurker who hasn’t typed a single word since 2022 but reads absolutely everything, sitting silently in the digital shadows judging the family lineage. Chris also exposes the toxic subtext of these threads, from passive-aggressive micro-aggressions to the "Response-Time Police" who track how long it takes you to reply to an air fryer picture vs. a baby photo. It’s not real connection—it’s performative digital emotional labor. Humans weren't designed to be in a lifelong committee meeting with everyone who shares their DNA. Delete the thread and cry harder about it. Plus, we have a fully packed lineup for the rest of the show. Stick around for Learn You Good, Tear Factor, a fresh Book Plug, our latest Movie Reviews, a complete Week in Review, and a look at what we're Looking Forward to next week. Let’s get into it!

  7. Sep 26

    36. Parents Are Drowning in School App Notifications!

    If I get one more notification from a school app today, I am throwing my phone directly into the sun. Welcome back to Cry Harder with Chris Black. This week, we are diving deep into the absolute psychological operation that is modern school communication. Why do parents need forty-seven different portals, passwords, and two-factor authentications just to find out if their kid needs sneakers on a Thursday?! We’re also breaking down the latest internet rants (including why gambling ads are destroying society), introducing our brand-new 5-Core Criteria movie review system, and taking a closer look at the Amazon original film "Under the Stars." All that, plus a quick science lesson on El Niño, an update on Chris’s anniversary disaster at Denny's, and more! Share your worst school app horror story with us! If you enjoyed the episode, make sure to follow the podcast, leave a 5-star review, and share this with another drowning parent. Follow the show on social media and check out our video version on YouTube! #ParentingRants #SchoolApps #Podcast #CryHarder #MovieReview #ElNino

  8. Sep 19

    35. At My Breaking Point with Insane Prices

    $250 car registration. $45 event parking. $28 for a single glass of airport prosecco. And $99 for a Yacht Rock concert featuring bands you’ve never even heard of?! What do all of these things have in common? Prices have officially gotten entirely out of hand, and I am at my absolute breaking point. Welcome back to the Cry Harder Podcast. Today, Chris Black is breaking down the sickening reality of what it costs just to step outside your front door in 2026. From California DMV registration scams to getting completely ripped off at a family circus, we are diving deep into why every single aspect of modern life feels like a calculated cash grab. Later in the show, we dive into some actual economic research to uncover the real reason central banks trap us with a mandatory 2% inflation target (and why they freak out over zero inflation). Plus, we head over to the Tear Factor segment to react to some absolutely unhinged Reddit rants about mint toothpaste monopolies and a major creep at the beach. Finally, we wrap things up in the Cry Harder Film School with a review of the bizarre new animated whodunit movie, The Sheep Detectives.

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About

Welcome to Cry Harder, where we turn life’s absolute disasters into premium content. I’m Chris Black: husband, girl-dad to a chaotic 4-year-old, and your host for this sarcastic deep dive into the unhinged saga of my life. Expect unsolicited advice, questionable choices, and the kind of oversharing my therapist warned me about. Grab your tissues and let’s make it worse. New episodes every Saturday!

Information

  • Creator
    Chris Black
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    43
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Chris Black
  • Show Website
    Cry Harder Podcast