Holding space for the Year Long Spaceholder Training is keeping me at the edge of what Spaceholding is… what Transformation means… and what Possibility Management actually offers… In the last week, I have been brewing on this Quest-ions: How does Transformation come into the picture of building regenerative culture? What does it take for people to be initiated into their Authority instead of performing their Survival Strategies into Archiarchy? How does Possibility Management fit into all this? What I am interested to hold space for is an authentic transformational path that is impossible to consume because it does not give answers but instead gives responsibility. From the outside, Possibility Management sure looks like an encyclopaedia of answers, a library of solutions, a chartered path for ‘How To Live Your Life Responsibly’. They even have Trainers who seem to know what-the-hell-they’re-doin’. People who stick around long enough to find out what Possibility Management really is are often surprised that it is not meant to be the answer to everything. Behind the thoughtmaps, practices, processes, the 725 websites, the 10’000 experiments, the 10 Possibility Labs recommendation, the Rage Club, Fear Club, Emotional Healing Process, Heart Gym, the Gremlin Transformation and Adult Egostate Decontamination, the invitation to write articles and newsletters, the challenges, the Pirate agreements, the Boundaries, the Feedback and Coaching, the Proposal culture, the unyielding Clarity about the Purpose and revealing all the ways the Patriarchy tries to Manipulate you into obedience, the 8 Prisons, …. What lies behind all this is the Possibility of your own Authentic life which arises through you taking back your personal Authority. One thing that Possibility Management can do… Something that I am holding space for in the Year Long Spaceholder Training and others spaces I navigate… is to reveal the huge and heart-wrenching pain that you may not have your Authority. Without Authority, your life cannot be your own. Your feelings, your heart, your Being’s vision are locked away behind old thoughtwares, old decisions, past lives vows, old commitments to righteousness and war, and old strategies trying to manipulate people into controllable objects. First you may feel scared about discovering how much your life is dictated by survival imperatives, then sad, then angry, and hopefully… eventually… glad. Why glad? Glad when you discover that Authority is in you, not in some website, book or trainer. First the Fear. Many - maybe most - people join transformational spaces and communities in the hope that they will be saved. If you went to school, then you hope to finally be given the right answers, find your way, do the right thing, get validation (from the projected external authority figures), receive certification, fix yourself, be better, faster, clearer, more fit, more attractive, find a partner (who understands you…), have a family, be appreciated, be loved, be heard, be valued, have more intimacy, etc… Hitting Bottom about the extent of your irresponsible Adaptiveness can be shockingly scary. Not only because you look back and realize that your choices weren’t your own, even when you thought they were. But mostly, because the rug on which you stood has presently been pulled out. The morals, the reference points, the need to please, the longing to be accepted, the ‘looking for value outside yourself’, the ‘trying-to-get-somewhere’, your original crutches no longer hold you upright. You may even witness them vanish, unravel, and burn right before your eyes. What are you left with? Nothing. In a materialistic culture, nothing is scarier than having nothing. Hence, the fabulous possibility of joining Fear Club where you practice consciously feeling Fear before jumping into the deep end of Radical Responsibility. Then the devastating Grief. When that degree of grief hit me for the first time, she was inexplicable. I remember veils of life-long lies dissolving with each of my tears and sobs. I could see all the lies that I had been told, and the lies I told in return. The grief in realizing that my parent’s love did not include honesty. My teacher’s love was manipulation in exchange for my good behavior. My boyfriend’s love depended on his orgasms. Most people I knew lived in a web of emotional transactions. So few people took a true stand that extends beyond their own personal immediate comforts. I am not talking of the victimized sadness of not having received what I thought I wanted. But the devastating grief of realizing the wreckage of human potentials when people do not have Authority, including myself. Those were my experiences. I wish for you to find out what fallacies your own unexpressed grief holds together. Grief has a way to burn through lies and deceptions like no other feeling. So let grief do its work. Let your deep sadness wash away the defenses of your mind. Let it cleanse away any leftover need to betray yourself. It is like being at your own funeral. Let your previous strategies die and cry your way into a fresh start. Until the Rage comes (Beware of your Gremlin!) I wish to say that the death and resurrection show of Hitting Bottom about the fake life you have been living is not as clean as I can put it down on paper (or digital pixels, as it is). You will jump between fear, grief and rage, back and forth, forward and backward, inexplicably, maybe for a while. This is the way. During the chaos, take heed of your Anger! The parts of you who want to stop this Start Over process have a tendency to grab hold of your Rage and go on the offensive. That would be the start of your Gremlin coming in to defend against your metaphorical death. (Why are Gremlins so easily offended?) Mr. or Ms. Gremlin will take down everything and everyone in its way to win the battle for your status quo. He or She will attack your friends, the spaceholders, the context, the distinctions, the processes, your mother, and even your own Being. The uninitiated Gremlin will do anything to ensure that you do not enter a relationship of ecstatic authorship for your own life. That is the first purpose of Authentic Adulthood Initiations, to free your Gremlin from your Box so it can enter the world at your side and activate its natural ability to provide nonlinear impulses to aid you along your Path towards the Eye of the Needle and beyond (which is where Life becomes Truly Fun!). Having Authority means living a life no longer bound by the uninitiated-Gremlin-empowered child-centered imperatives that scream at you to blame, withdraw, manipulate, play coy, be scared, know, follow, avoid, find an enemy, look for faults, or simply not care. Instead of believing your own B******t served on a silver platter, do this: Celebrate. Pat yourself on the back. Recognize the hard work that you have done to get to this exact point where being a complacent naive consumerist can no longer go on. This is escaping the Patriarchy! Then Rage. Rage for what you want to create. Rage for that which does not exist yet. Rage as an aid for how you are bringing it to life. Rage for the unexplored Path. And Rage to hack the way further so that others can come with you. Rage powers your proposals. Rage your Stand. Rage for your new life. See the Joy. You may need time to notice the Joy creeping back into your cells. Because if there is one kind of joy that we are a stranger to, it is the Joy of Responsibility. Freedom from Victimhood has a unique taste of relief and electricity at the same time. Joy tastes of Love for the ones who have hacked Reality enough for you to get this far, and for anyone who may have helped you, knowingly or not, to Grow Up. It is not Joy of success, but Joy of being liberated from the need to succeed. There is an amazing kind of Joy from discovering that life finally begins. I don’t think many people would put it like this (yet), but the Joy that comes with shedding the clinging claws of approval is the Joy of Adulthood. You then feel glad about finally entering Adulthood. Extra Notes. It is a strange challenge to claim victory when you are so utterly disgusted, bored, and done with who you pretend to be. The victory is because, only then, can you truly be yourself. That is when ‘the work’, the Work I am interested in, at least, begins. ‘The Work’ of being a co-creator with E.C.C.O. (Earth Coincidence Control Office), a Mapmaker, an engineer of Distinctions, a builder of games, the founder of a new nation, a person at source and in the service of Infinite Archetypal Resources. With your own Authority, you do ‘The Work’ for yourself. That’s when Responsibility becomes Fun, and Radical Relating Collaborations possible. Such are the potential results of an authentic transformational space. Post-Scriptum I live in a house – an Archanversity – with three other Edgeworkers who have reclaimed their Authority (to one degree or another). Today only, someone is writing lyrics for Thoughtware Upgrade songs, someone else is designing logos and graphics for the new StartOver.Earth game (coming soon!), someone else is organizing the Festival of Possibility, I am writing the text to go with this S.T.A.R.R., all the while, a guest team of Possibilitators is downstairs delivering an Emotional Healing Process… Creation is so abundant. It overflows into our kitchen (declared to be the ‘best restaurant in town’), into our Adventure Days on the quiet beaches of southern Brazil, and even into our silent times together. That same force of Creation could be coming your way. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit annechloe.substack.com
