We sat down to talk about grief. Two-thirds of the way in, Kelley Marie said something Kate has known her for years and never heard: "I don't believe you die and go to heaven. I believe you're just dead." Nothing in this episode was planned. That is exactly how grief works. In this episode of Carpool Confessions, Kate Shaw and Kelley Marie get honest about the grief nobody gives you permission to feel. Kelley talks about losing her mother, the visitation where almost nobody came, the suicidal ideation that followed, and grieving a father who is still alive. Kate talks about what happens when you refuse to feel it: the anger, the exhaustion, the brain fog, the body keeping score while you stay busy enough to outrun it. Then the conversation turns. Kelley shares what being raised a Jehovah's Witness did to her ability to grieve, why she has kept her beliefs quiet, and what it is like to watch other people find comfort in a hope she has never been able to access. Kate responds in real time, with no script and no rehearsal, and the two of them have the kind of conversation most Christians only have in their heads. WHO THIS EPISODE IS FOR This one is for anyone carrying grief they were never allowed to put down. Women grieving a parent, a sibling relationship, a marriage, a childhood they never got, or a version of life that did not happen. It is also for Christians who want to know how to sit with someone who does not believe what they believe, and for anyone deconstructing religious trauma while still trying to hold on to God. WHAT WE COVER - Why grief is not only about death - Grieving a childhood, a parent who is still living, or an estranged sibling - What happens when you suppress grief instead of feeling it - Why grief shows up as anger, irritability, exhaustion and physical pain - The five stages of grief and why you can slide backward - The connection between unprocessed pain and addiction - Grief triggers, anniversaries, and shared birthdays - Why "at least they're in a better place" lands so badly - The shame people feel about crying over someone they loved - Jesus wept even though He knew how the story ended - Religious trauma, the 144,000, and grieving without the hope of heaven - How to stay in relationship with someone whose beliefs are different from yours - Why you have to keep showing up long after the funeral week is over CHAPTERS 00:00 "People get really weird" when you say you don't believe in heaven 00:57 Grief is not just about death 02:34 Grieving the childhood you never had 03:58 The death that started the spiral 06:54 Grieving a father who is still alive 08:29 When grief comes out as anger 12:10 The five stages and the pain underneath addiction 22:15 The night his mom sat on the edge of the bed 24:20 "I don't believe you die and go to heaven" 31:12 Sin, the cross, and what God actually wanted SCRIPTURE Psalm 34:18. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." John 11:35. "Jesus wept." Romans 12:15. "Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn." A GENTLE HEADS UP This episode includes honest discussion of the death of a parent, estrangement, suicidal ideation, addiction and religious trauma. Please take care of yourself while you listen. If any of this is where you are right now, please reach out to someone you trust. Support the show Love the show? You can help keep us on the road here. 🤍 🚗 New episodes every Monday at 7AM! Watch on YouTube and listen on all major streaming platforms. Subscribe to @CarpoolConfessionsPodcast and come ride with us. 🎙️ Follow us on TikTok: @CarpoolConfessionsPod 💌 Want to submit a confession, burden, struggle, or story for a future monthly episode? Share it anonymously here: https://forms.gle/XQ24bChBwdATbNzz5 Thanks for riding with us. 🤍 #CarpoolConfessionsPodcast #ChristianPodcast #FaithAndMentalHealth
