The 12/10 by Nadja Olivera

Nadja Olivera
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The psychology-backed, sensually intelligent podcast for high-achieving women whose lives look great on paper — but who know they’re settling. Hosted by psychologist and life reinvention coach Nadja Olivera from Mallorca, where she rebuilt her own life from sober, single-mom, and starting over — into one that feels 12 out of 10.

Episodes

  1. 3d ago

    When Did You First Decide You Were Not Enough? Healing vs. Wholeness

    It was a moment. A specific moment. Maybe you remember it. Maybe you just remember the feeling that came with it. For me it was 16 years old, an exchange student in America, and something my host mother said that landed like a conclusion: the way I am is not okay. I did not know it at the time but that moment became a filter. Everything that came after ran through it. This episode is not about healing. It is about remembering. Because healing implies you were broken. And you were never broken. In this episode I am going into something I think the personal development world gets fundamentally wrong. The self-improvement industry, the healing space, the wellness world — so much of it runs on the wound of not-enoughness. Always finding the next belief to work on. The next version to become before you finally deserve good things. And at some point that becomes its own trap. A wellness outfit worn over the same old wound. The 12/10 life is not built from fixing. It is built from remembering. In this episode: The two fundamental human fears everything else comes back to and how much of your life has been spent managing themThe moment the not-enough story gets born and why it was never actually trueWhy the healing obsession can become its own version of the same woundThe difference between self improvement from worthiness vs self improvement from wound — same actions, completely different energy, completely different resultsWhy the universe does not need your 2.0The decision that changes everything — and why worthiness is not a feeling you wait to haveWhat actually becomes possible when worth is no longer a questionToday's question: If my worthiness was never in question, what would I allow myself to have, to feel, to be today? Not one day. Today. Ready to see where the not-enoughness is loudest in your life? DM me AUDIT on Instagram @nadjaloveslife or download it here. An honest look at every area of your life so you can see exactly where you are still running the prove-it-first program. And if you are ready to do the remembering with real support, DM me TWELVE and let's talk. Find me here: Instagram: @nadjaloveslife

  2. Aug 4

    The Neuroscience of Reinvention: Why Your Brain Fights Change (And How to Win)

    You Are Not Stuck. Your Brain Just Thinks You Are. I have reinvented myself more times than I can count. From the girl who developed an eating disorder at 16 to the one who chose recovery. From psychology student to kiteboarding instructor following love across the world. From building a brand with my sister to building this one from scratch, alone, in Mallorca, as a single mom. Every single time, my brain told me it was impossible. Every single time, it was not. It was just unfamiliar. In this episode I am going deep on what is actually happening in your brain when you try to change something real about your life. Why it feels like resistance. Why it feels like you keep reverting. And why the problem is almost never willpower. It is identity. In this episode: Why your brain does not resist change but resists identity loss, and why that distinction changes everythingThe 12/10 Reinvention Formula: how your personality creates your personal reality, and why changing the outside never works before you change the insideThe neuroscience of identity: why synapses that fire together wire together, and how to use that for you instead of against youThe exact moment the new version of you stops being an effort and starts being just youWhy you do not have to feel like her first, you just have to act like her consistently enough that your brain updates its recordsThree things that actually accelerate the rewiring: deciding first, repetition with emotion, and small daily identity votesToday's question: If I fully decided I was already her, the woman I am becoming, what would I do differently today?  Ready to see where the gap is? Download the free 12/10 Life Audit here. An honest look at every area of your life so you can see exactly where you are still acting from the old version. And if you are ready to close the gap with real support, DM me TWELVE and let's talk. Find me here: Instagram: @nadjaloveslife

  3. Jun 30

    Why You Keep Waiting to Arrive (And What Living the 12/10 Life Actually Is)

    Last summer I got shushed. On a date. In my own car. And five minutes after walking away, I was on a sailing yacht being called Reina all day. That story is not about luck. It is about knowing what you want before it arrives. About having a body that recognizes the no before the brain has finished calculating. About being so clear on your standard that walking away from the shush is not even a decision. It is just what you do. That is Stage 4. Living the 12/10. And in this episode I want to tell you what the 12/10 actually is. Not as a concept. As a practice. As a way of being that does not require you to arrive somewhere before you can feel it. In this episode: Why 12/10 and not 10/10, and what the two extra actually meanWhy the 12/10 is different for every woman and every season, and why that is the whole pointThe paradox at the heart of Stage 4: one foot in gratitude and one foot in desire, at the same timeThe science of why everything you want, you want for the feeling, and why that feeling is available right nowWhat embodiment actually means and why it lives in your body not your headHow I alchemized something that could have broken me into the beginning of something newThe daily practice: the audit questions, the standards, the why not motto, and how to know the difference between a yes and a noThis week's question: If I let myself get completely honest, completely specific, completely unfiltered, what does my 12/10 look like right now, in this season? Not forever. Just now. Ready to go deeper? DM me AUDIT on Instagram @nadjaloveslife and I will send you the free 12/10 Life Audit. An honest look at every area of your life, where you are already thriving, where you are quietly settling, and where the desire foot is trying to take you next. And if you are ready to close the gap between knowing and living, DM me TWELVE and let's have the most honest conversation you have had in a while. Find me here: Instagram: @nadjaloveslife

  4. Jun 23

    The Brave Choice: What Nobody Tells You About Leaving Your Comfort Zone

    Everyone tells you to leave your comfort zone. Make the brave choice. Back yourself. But nobody tells you what is actually happening inside your body when you try. Why it feels like an alarm going off. Why it feels like withdrawal. And why that feeling is not a stop sign. In this episode I share the moment I stopped being able to ignore my own knowing. A stranger asked me one question after a keynote in Germany and everything shifted. That night I said it out loud before I had a plan, before I was ready, to someone who mattered, so I could not take it back. This episode is for the woman who already knows. Who has been circling the same decision for months. Who is intelligent, loyal, responsible, and using all of those qualities to stay exactly where she is. In this episode: Why brave choices feel like alarms and what is actually happening in your nervous systemThe neuroscience of emotional addiction and why your body craves the familiar even when it is painfulWhat making a brave choice actually looks like from the inside (hint: not fearless)Why trust works backwards and you build it by jumping, not beforeNew reality requires new personality: the 48k investment, the daily votes, and the grandpa seminarsWhy not deciding is deciding, and why it is not just a big decision to leave, it is a bigger decision to stayThe two things you can do right now to prepave the way for your own brave choiceThis week's question: What decision am I calling not yet, when the truth is I already know? Ready to stop circling? DM me TWELVE on Instagram @nadjaloveslife and let's have the conversation you have been avoiding with yourself. And if you want to start with an honest look at every area of your life, DM me AUDIT for the free 12/10 Life Audit. Find me here: Instagram: @nadjaloveslife

  5. Jun 16

    What You're Actually Craving (And Why You're Too Ashamed to Admit It) - About Desire

    Reclaiming the desire. This episode started with a thirty thousand euro price tag, a closed door, and a festival we built ourselves. Because that is what desire does when you stop burying it. It finds another way in. I talk about why so many women say they don't know what they want, but actually do. I go into the psychology of buried desire, how shame gets installed early and quietly teaches us that wanting is dangerous. And I get personal about how my own desires have completely changed over the last three years, from wild exploration after my divorce to the warrior poet I am now calling in. This one is a permission slip. To want what you actually want. To say it out loud. And to trust that the life you are dreaming of cannot find you if you do not admit to wanting it. In this episode: Why women say they don't know what they want but actually do, and what happens when you ask the right questionsThe psychology of buried desire and the difference between guilt and shameHow wanting gets trained out of us from childhood, and why it goes underground instead of disappearingThe shame and desire connection, and why what you are most ashamed of is often closest to what you actually wantHow desire evolves over time and why you don't owe loyalty to a version of yourself you have outgrownWhy desire is not about filling a hole but about what rises when you stop numbingThe two practices to access your desire when it feels buriedThis week's practice: Write your unfiltered bucket list. The things you have never told anyone. The places, the experiences, the desires you have kept quiet. Do not edit it. Do not explain it to yourself. Just let it exist on paper. This week's question: What do I want that I have been too afraid, or too ashamed, or too loyal to an old version of myself, to admit? Ready to go deeper? DM me AUDIT on Instagram @nadjaloveslife and I will send you the free 12/10 Life Audit, an honest look at every area of your life including the desires you might not have given yourself permission to look at yet. And if you are ready to stop quietly wanting and start actually building, DM me CALL and I will send you the link to book your free 45 minute 12/10 Alignment Call. Find me here: Instagram: @nadjaloveslife

  6. Jun 9

    The 9PM Pattern: What You're Actually Running From

    Have you ever asked yourself what you actually do at 9pm? Not what you wish you did. What you actually do when the day is done, the kid is in bed, and you are alone with yourself for the first time all day? In this episode I am getting honest about something most high achieving women never talk about publicly. The numbing. Not rock bottom stories. Not addiction cautionary tales. The subtle, sophisticated, invisible ways smart, deeply feeling women stay exactly where they are. I share the moment at a retreat in Portugal that cracked everything open for me. I walk you through the four forms of numbing I have seen again and again in my own life and in my work with clients. And I tell you something I have never said this clearly before: I want to be high on life. That is why I am sober. This episode is not about stopping anything. It is about noticing. And the noticing is where everything starts. In this episode: Why numbing is not weakness but intelligence and what is actually happening in your nervous systemThe four forms smart women use most: substance, action, people and overthinkingWhy overthinking is underfeeling and what that costs youThe Rumi guest house and why your feelings are not your enemy but your guidance systemWhy when you numb the bad feelings you also numb the good onesWhat numbing is really trying to tell you about the life that is calling you forwardThis week's practice: At 9pm, before you reach for the thing, pause. Just thirty seconds. Ask your body: what am I actually feeling right now? Feel it first. Then decide. This week's question: What feeling am I most consistently running from? And what do I think would happen if I stopped? Ready to go deeper? DM me AUDIT on Instagram @nadjaloveslife and I will send you the free 12/10 Life Audit, an honest look at every area of your life so you can see exactly where you are settling and where you are already living it. Find me here: Instagram: @nadjaloveslife

  7. Jun 2

    The Day I realized my Life looked perfect and I was dying inside

    I'm Nadja Olivera, psychologist, life reinvention coach and single mom living in Mallorca. The 12/10 is the podcast for women who have done the work, have the life, and still know deep down that something isn't fully theirs. Every episode we go into the conversations most people are too afraid to have out loud. About settling. About desire. About numbing. About shame. About the brave choices that change everything. Have you ever looked at your life, really looked at it, and thought: this is good. This is actually really good. And still felt like something was off? This is the episode I wish had existed when I was sitting on my sofa in Mallorca next to my partner, our son asleep upstairs, feeling like the loneliest person in the world. Not alone in the house. Alone right next to him. In this first episode I'm taking you through the 4 stages every woman goes through when she starts building her 12/10 life, using my own story as the map. The settling I called snacking. The desire I called jealousy. The brave choice I made anyway. And what the actual living looks like from the inside. This one is for you if you've done the work, you have the life, and something still feels quietly, persistently off. In this episode: Why settling never looks dramatic and what it actually feels like from the insideThe desire moment that cracked everything open and why jealousy might be the most honest emotion you haveWhy bravery has nothing to do with not being afraidThe truth about the 12/10 life nobody tells you: it's not a destination, it's a becomingWhy leaving is never the whole story and what the real work actually isSit with this question this week: Where in your life are you performing a version of okay, when you know, in your bones, that okay is not enough? Want to go deeper? DM me AUDIT on Instagram @nadjaloveslife and I'll send you the free 12/10 Life Audit, an honest look at every area of your life so you can see exactly where you're settling and where you're already living it. Find me here: Instagram: @nadjaloveslife

  • 7 Episodes

About

The psychology-backed, sensually intelligent podcast for high-achieving women whose lives look great on paper — but who know they’re settling. Hosted by psychologist and life reinvention coach Nadja Olivera from Mallorca, where she rebuilt her own life from sober, single-mom, and starting over — into one that feels 12 out of 10.

Information

  • Creator
    Nadja Olivera
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    7
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 The 12/10 by Nadja Olivera
  • Show Website
    The 12/10 by Nadja Olivera