The Urban Erma

Leighann Lord

The Urban Erma is a storytelling podcast by stand-up comedian and author Leighann Lord.

  1. 07/14/2016

    It's Always the Year of the A*****e

    At a recent comedy show there was a table of disruptive people. They weren’t heckling the comedians directly, just talking animatedly amongst themselves. This seemed odd since this wasn’t a random bar show. It was a fundraiser with tickets sold in advance. These people had chosen to be there and yet their incessant chatter created a distracting undercurrent of noise that lasted the entire show...

    6 min

  2. 07/04/2016

    At the Cleaners: How the Everyday Can Just Flat Out Get Away From You

    I went to the cleaners the other day and as I pulled out my last item of clothing I saw a crumpled claim ticket in the bottom of the tote bag. I used to put my cleaners tickets on the refrigerator so I’d remember them, so of course I didn’t.  My refrigerator is a jumbled graveyard of baby pictures of grown people, save the date wedding invitations for divorced couples, calendars from the turn of the century, and business cards for defunct companies. I know. My refrigerator really needs to get its shit together. So I decided to put my cleaners ticket in the bottom of the bag of clothes to be taken out. Makes sense right? A good plan predicated on going to the cleaners on a fairly regular basis... Read the Post

    4 min

  3. 06/26/2016

    When You Want to Hug A Stranger in Dunkin Donuts

    In Dunkin Donuts there was a Young Woman sitting at the table next to me. She was talking on her cell phone and upset because another girl had deliberately shoved her out-of-the-way to get on the bus. And in an I-can’t-take-it-anymore moment she shoved the girl back and they got into a fight. Tearfully she said, “This happens all the time. I don’t want to fight. This is not who I am. I’m sorry. This doesn’t happen when I’m with you. I feel safer with you.” ----more---- It’s worth noting that this Young Woman did not look… hmm… how shall I say… homegrown. Her t-shirt and jeans were innocuous enough, but her close-cropped hair and beautiful, clear dark skin will always make her look foreign-born even if she, like me, was made in America. And in the xenophobic pendulum swing we’re in, not looking like you’re from around here seems to give people license to treat you as “other”; like shit; even by people who have themselves been historically mistreated and should know better. (Yes, Brothers and Sisters. I’m looking at you.)   I wasn’t trying to listen in on this woman’s conversation. Dunkin’ Donuts is my mobile office. When I’m sitting in there, laptop open, I’m on the grind. But when you don’t have phone booths these are the types of open-air conversations you’ll hear.   Trying hard not to cry, sniffing for all she was worth the Young Woman said to her friend, “I’m an adult and yet I still feel like a child. Why does this keep happening? I’m scared all the time.” Her raw distress broke my heart. The mama bear in me wanted to hug her but that would’ve been presumptuous, intrusive, and possibly a felony. I was grateful she at least had someone she could call and talk to.    And so, without a word, I pulled a pack of pocket tissues out of my bag and slipped them to her. Maybe in that very small gesture she’ll know that we’re not all like that; that shoving people who are not superficially like us out of the way is not who we are. Well, it is, but aren’t we supposed to be striving for better?  It’s our ability to embrace each other that makes us human.    So I’ll restock my handbag with pocket tissues. These days I seem to keep running out.

    3 min

  4. 04/13/2016

    Bitch, Am I Boring You?

    After our second session I fired my therapist. Two meetings are what it took for me to see we weren’t going to work out. And I’d really hoped we would.    READ THE BLOG ----more---- Leighann Lord is a veteran stand-up comedian seen on HBO, Comedy Central, and The View. She is the author of Dict Jokes and Real Women Do it Standing Up; and is a co-host of StarTalk Radio, with Neil de Grasse Tyson.  Follow her @LeighannLord | VeryFunnyLady.com. To join TeamLeighann: Text FunnyLady to 22828. Listen to the podcast of her blog on iTunes and Stitcher Radio.

    6 min

  5. 03/27/2016

    A Death in the Family

    I found out about the death of a cousin on Facebook because that’s how we learn of these things now. READ THE BLOG --- Leighann Lord is a veteran stand-up comedian seen on HBO, Comedy Central, and The View. She is the author of Dict Jokes and Real Women Do it Standing Up; and is a co-host of StarTalk Radio, with Neil de Grasse Tyson.  Follow her @LeighannLord | VeryFunnyLady.com. To join TeamLeighann: Text FunnyLady to 22828. Listen to the podcast of her blog on iTunes and Stitcher Radio.

    4 min

  6. 03/17/2016

    And How Are You Today? A Tale of Reverse Customer Service

    First of all I had no business being in Macy’s, especially the 34th Street Mothership. But I was in the neighborhood, I needed a bra, and so there I was strolling through the lingerie department like I had money and boobs. READ AND ENJOY THE BLOG   The Urban Erma, the longest running column on StageTimeMagazine.com, was created and written by stand-up comedian Leighann Lord. Listen to the podcast on iTunes and Stitcher Radio. Get her e-books on AMAZON!

    6 min

  7. 03/07/2016

    Today Is My Mom's Birthday and She's Not Happy About It

    Today is my Mom’s birthday and she’s not happy about it. How can she be? She (and she is not alone in this) has succumbed to the constant subliminal and overt cultural messages that discount the value of older people in general and older women specifically. ----more----   We’re finding ways for people to live longer, but not better; unless they can afford it. What’s the co-pay on an extra decade? Makeup, cosmetic surgery, teeth whitening strips... at what age do you get to just be happy with yourself and not be a project to be fixed? Does the scaffolding ever get taken down?   We praise people for aging gracefully, which is code for growing older without showing it. This makes every gray hair, wrinkle, and joint pain an indictment and somehow a personal failing.   Act your age, unless you’re over 40 and then the race is on to act younger then you ever were.   I wish I could talk my Mom out of her birthday blues, but I get it. If you’ve battled racism and sexism, then ageism can feel like the sucker punch you didn’t see coming.   And we’re both old enough to know that the Pollyanna platitudes don’t cut it: blah, blah, blah, god’s plan... blah, blah, blah you’re lucky... blah, blah, blah at least you have... These statements minimize someone’s feelings, adding insult to injury.   So, no presents this year. The one thing she asked for I can’t give her. She said, “I wish I could be me all over again.” Ice cream cake, balloons, and a nice dinner will have to suffice.   The Urban Erma, the longest running column on StageTimeMagazine.com, was created and written by stand-up comedian Leighann Lord. Listen to the podcast on iTunes and Stitcher Radio. Get her e-books on AMAZON!

    3 min

  8. 01/06/2016

    Don't Hate on the Skinny Girl at the Gym

    Okay, we’re a few days in and you’re still up for making a good-faith effort on your New Year’s resolutions. If one of them is going to the gym, do yourself a favor. When you get there, please don’t hate on the skinny girl. READ THE BLOG

    3 min
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5
out of 5
11 Ratings

About

The Urban Erma is a storytelling podcast by stand-up comedian and author Leighann Lord.

Information

  • Creator
    Leighann Lord
  • Years Active
    2011 - 2016
  • Episodes
    20
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    Copyright © 2023 Leighann Lord. All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    The Urban Erma