Static Radio

Bob LeMent
  • 4.6 (8)
  • Comedy
  • Updated Weekly

The strange and humorous happenings in the lives of two US Midwesterners.

  1. 3d ago

    Traveling Guys

    Bob goes to see a mansion and then leads a rescue, while Miles ignores the signs and ends up deep in the mud. GAMES, like old school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/-1lcSSl_kgE Bob goes to see a mansion and then leads a rescue, while Miles ignores the signs and ends up deep in the mud. Traveling Guys Bad AI Transcript The sound of summer. Hey, everyone. Miles Pytle with Static Radio Podcast. And Super Phlegm. That’s your new nickname. Super Phlegm. He’s Super Phlegm. My esophagus. Now, my, my, why you got so much phlegm in your mouth? It’s not phlegm. He’s super phlegm, super phlegm, he’s super phlegmy. Yeah, wow. Temptations sing. Yeah, exactly. God, he’s so goddamn phlegmy. I feel like I’m smoking weed again. He’s drinking a gallon of milk or something or whatever. Yeah. I was smoking weed again, man. Oh, are you? Okay. No, I feel like it. I feel like it. I mean, everybody does gummies these days, so I don’t know why you’re smoking it. No, I haven’t in a long time. I’m just saying. Oh, okay. so we are a couple of, uh, traveling guys yes we’re traveling traveling guys this is the East. We’re coming to your house we’re gonna party down. We’re the traveling guys. I don’t have that uh song So, yeah, you went somewhere, and I went somewhere, and normally that never happens. Usually I just go somewhere. True. No, that’s true. I’m not offended. That is true, actually. You normally don’t go anywhere. I try not to. Or you just go down to the Casey’s or something and bother the people. Yeah, as I like to. Yeah, the peoples. So where did you go? I was up by the Wisconsin-Michigan border area. Oh, really? Did you go to the Dells? Well, that wouldn’t really be the border area if you knew cartography, which you don’t. I’m not a cartographer. I guess the Dells is lower. Stupid shit. lower than where you were at. You were higher. Well, they don’t have f*****g geography class where the f**k you want. Can you say geography? No, I can’t say if i’m drunk. Uh, I got all this phlegm going on yeah yeah no i have snap up there in the michiganders oh yeah i got yeah i got beamed in the head. Yeah. I was at a cemetery and something hit me in the head. I go, what the f**k? was this slimy f*****g pine cone hit me in the head. This freaking ghost drops us on my, it’s awful as sap or as some people like to call it uh ghost spooge. I’m walking around like cameron diaz from, uh, there’s something about Mary. Yeah, I’m walking around. I’m like, oh, there’s goo in my hair. Oh, my God. Is it bird shit on me again? No. Everyone was hoping it was bird shit. Like, oh, I hope it’s bird shit. I go, I don’t think so. I go, it smells like pine, and it’s really gooey, man. It’s sticky gooey. What’s a squirrel spunk? I don’t know. It just hit me right. Like, literally, I was walking into the cemetery, and it was like, what the hell? Did you look around? Maybe there was a clue on one of the tombstones. You know? I thought I heard ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. I mean, you know, look for some kind of sign. You know what I mean? No, that was the sign, so much. I knew it. Okay. I think it was a ghostly encounter. I think it was. Spunky pine cone. Yeah, I’ll pull a spunk. I’m like, geez. Really? Then I’m like the whole, I’m obsessing about it like the rest of the day. I’m like, God. Is it in my hair still? Is it in my? Well, it got hard. Did you? It got hard. You’re like, I could, if I rubbed this in certain places, I could be useful to me. The more I rubbed it, the harder it got. You weren’t wearing a hat? You weren’t wearing a bear’s hat? What’s going on? No. Well, I have a lot of hair. I haven’t cut my hair in a long time, so I didn’t think I needed it. Yeah. You’ve been blessed. I don’t think your dad is really your dad. I’m just saying. Yeah, well, I don’t know. We look an awful lot alike, so I don’t know. He didn’t have any hair. Yeah. That’s all inheritance, though. And he never coughed up as much phlegm, for Christ’s sake. Yeah. He didn’t. I’m sorry, man. Sorry. That’s the way it is. So… You got slimed by a pine cone in the cemetery. What are we doing in the cemetery? What are we looking for? We went to an old ghost town and I go on the map. Really? Yeah, there is. Yeah. It’s an abandoned west. You know what I mean? No, it’s an abandoned like foundry or whatever. Got you. Company town? Yeah, right. It was right on the water. And I go, oh, there’s a cemetery. And my daughter-in-law is like, that is way too far to walk. For a fat guy like you. I’m like, excuse me. Back in the day. I walked everywhere. Then I had to pull my Shelly Winters on her. I pulled out this medallion like, I used to be the swimming champion back in high school. She said, you can’t do it. You won’t make it. Have you ever heard of a man called Dave Waddle? He was a buddy of mine and he was a walking champion. Yeah. And you know what? That little shit was right. We had to get in the car and go to this place. Damn it. Damn it. No, we had some… Uh, we didn’t actually tell my relatives we were there, so we could actually go sightseeing, you know, so. Oh, gotcha. So you did a little, oh, you mean you didn’t even tell them at all? Uh, no. Well, towards the end of our trip, we did. Oh, okay. So you went, you snuck in and then you go, Hey, we’re here. We have been here for three days. We got it. We got in Friday night and Sunday. I went to church with my mom. I freaked her out. And she’s like, it’s an apparition. I know she was all freaked out crying. I thought that ghost miles would be much thinner than real. You’d be surprised. You’d be, but, um, we, uh, there’s a lot of waterfalls up there. A lot of them are pretty small, you know? Yeah. And, uh, we were going to go to one of the larger ones. and we, uh, it was a little bit of a car ride. You know, we get there there’s four of us and, uh, there’s like all these people just kind of mulling around the parking lot, just like zombies. I’m like, Hmm, that’s weird. Like, you know, like, I don’t know. What is this? Like a grateful dead concert? I didn’t know what it was. Somebody like, were they selling food or no? Yeah, no. There was like, They were just standing around. I’m like, what the hell is going on? So I go waddling up. There’s like a park ranger thing. Excuse me, sir. Excuse me. You guys are like, you got a pine cone stuck to your head. Let’s see where the other one landed. You can’t take that out of the park. Excuse me, sir. No, the trail is blocked off. It’s physically blocked off. You can’t go there. Can’t see that one. I’m like, what’s up? She goes, oh, yeah, the trail’s washed out. There’s no way in hell you’re going there. Well, let me show you. I’ll go get my car. My name’s Bob Lamont, and I’ll do whatever I want. Here’s $300. Go F off. You know what I’m saying? Whatever I jam well, please. I’m rich. I’ll buy this waterfall and this broken path. Everyone’s like, oh, that nice lady. I’m like, she’s a bitch. Oh, man. It was like a nice lady like your mom. A really nice, sweet lady. Everyone’s like, oh, she was so nice and sweet. No, she wasn’t. Right. My mom didn’t like you, so there you go. Well, I liked her. It was nice. It wasn’t mutual. I don’t care. She was nice. It was unrequited love. It was unrequited love. And So to salvage it, I go, let’s… Well, actually, I didn’t really pick this, but down the road a little ways was… There’s an ice cream shop, I’m sure, in this neighborhood. Yeah. No, we actually stopped to get drinks, and there’s some weird noise going on behind this store. I’m like, is this Jurassic Park? What the f**k? They’re like… No, yeah, no. There was an old lady working there, and me and a stranger, we made eye contact, and we both asked the same question, like, what the f**k is that noise? Yeah. And the lady’s like, oh, that’s just a parrot, but we don’t want people f*****g with them, so we keep them in the back. I’m like, oh. Oh, parrots are so annoying. It was loud, though. It was so loud. I go, this has got to be like an emu or some shit or ostrich or… He’s like, I’m being raped by Jeffrey. I’m So anyway, uh, so I turn here for, uh, you know, danger falls. I’m like, okay. Yeah. Great. And at first it’s paved. You’re like, oh, okay. All right. That’s good. And then it’s, it kind of becomes like a gravel road. You’re like, oh, okay. And then it says something like country road ends. I’m like, oh, okay. And now it’s more like mud. Oh, and, uh, Parked on the opposite side of the road, like, lots of cars. I’m like, that’s weird. Like, a bunch of abandoned cars. I feel like I’m in The Walking Dead. Like, you know, like, I’m like, what the f**k? Are these the same people that were in the parking lot milling around? No. I don’t know. I don’t know. And then, like, then people were parking on our side of the road, so there’s very little room. Uh-huh. to maneuver, and now there’s like duallys coming the other way. I’m like, oh, this is not good. You kept going, even though all these cars were parked. You kept going. Well, you kept hoping there’d be a conclusion to this. You’re like, oh, okay, all right. You’re here for something totally different that’s irrelevant to what we’re doing. I have no idea what the f**k all these people were doing. I get preferential parking because I inherited a placard. Right. Yeah, I know. Well, we’ll certainly. And finally, my wife was driving. She was, I’m just turning around. F**k it. Yeah, no kidding. Wow. And my wife is driving. It’s a wonder you guys didn’t barrel right on through. No, she got us. Thank God she got

    31 min

  2. Jun 30

    Damned Expenses

    Bob has to set the record straight about a college conversation, while Miles downplays his family’s curse. GAMES, like old school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtu.be/9mGagGxpMTA Bob has to set the record straight about a college conversation, while Miles downplays his family’s curse. Damned Expenses Bad AI Transcript That’s what she would want. You know, I don’t want that to happen, but you know sure and Finally This is like like say about a week ago, right? Yeah, so within two weeks of that or two now for two weeks about two weeks two days of that Two days of that. Okay. First of all, like the neighbors tree like half of its now in my backyard. I’m like f**k is it still there? I Uh, yeah, I haven’t gotten around to it yet. Oh, that’s so sorry, mile. That’s so terrible. I know. I’m glad I don’t live by you. Cause you’d probably be suing me by now. Or a French bit rent on this tree branch. Yeah. I know your tree landed in my mulch. You’re going to have to pay me for this space. So, I’m starting to think, like, you know, he might be right. Uh-oh. Now you’re thinking that you’ve just finally come to this realization. Yeah, it’s like one of those monster movies where the guy’s all in denial, like, oh, there’s no monster out there. And then he’s, like, the middle of the movie. He’s like, well, f**k, maybe there is. There can’t be giant rabbits. There ain’t no Bigfoot, son. Oh, shit. Holy moly. Yeah, I was like, oh, okay. Well, maybe the boy’s got a point. Bigfoot sent me over a stump. Yeah. Do it again. And, um, so anyway, that night, oh my gosh. So I make arrangements and, uh, the guy, you know, I was like, well, I can’t come out there for a week. I’m like, okay. What? A tree? The tree, yeah. There’s probably a lot of trees down. It’ll be fine. You don’t ever mow your grass anyway. No big deal. He’s like, well, let’s just wait until it dries up. Let’s give it about a few days. Next thing I know, three days later, we have three inches of rain come down in one day. I’m like, well, I’m f****d. Yeah. More tree limbs are coming down. Now your backyard’s full of tree limbs. Actually, yeah. Now my tree limb actually fell off my own tree limb. It was not nearly as big, but had it hit someone in the head, it probably would have killed them. I was like, shit. I’ll have to have Bob over more often, I guess. Anyway, so that night I could go to bed. I’m like, all right, well, I don’t like to go to bed worrying about shit. I just go to bed. How do you go to bed not worrying about things? I don’t know. I just shut, I normally could shut it off. I don’t know why. I’m like, Oh yeah. Cause I fall asleep really fast. Well, between that and the suffocation, everyone wins out. So that night I’m sleeping and I, all of a sudden, uh, like this dream starts. And like one of my sisters is like, Oh man, she goes, our mom is writing like checks to like her local church. Like, her yearly Christmas donation. Okay. But she wants to give it to the church early this year. Mm-hmm. He goes, isn’t that weird? I’m like, oh, f**k. That is weird. Like, maybe she knows, you know, like, you know, like, oh, shit. Oh, f**k. Like, I literally woke up, like, two o’clock in the morning and almost called my mom. I’m like, are you okay? Because now… This little shit has cursed me. He had to scrape off the curse and put it on you. Yeah, he did. He bounced it on me. First of all, he tells me something horrible is going to happen, which the tree happened. And then he’s like, oh, this horrible dream happened. Then I have somewhat of a similar dream somewhat. Like, okay, that little shit happened. Why? Why? Why did I deserve it? Why did it bounce my way for? I’m bouncing back. I shake it off. I don’t want it. Give this to Bob LeBent. I don’t want it. I don’t want any of your weirdness. I’m bouncing it to you. There’s no bouncing. Yes. It’s like the ring. Once I tell this story, it’s going to happen to you. Once you listen to it, it bounces to you. No. It’s like the ring video. I don’t know what you’re talking about. The Ring, isn’t that the movie where you watch the videotape and then… No, I have no… I don’t know what you’re talking about. Okay. Okay. All right. Well, I hope it doesn’t come to fruition. I know. I’m like, f**k. Because I haven’t really called my mom yet. I’m like, f**k. If it does… I know. You know who I’m blaming. I’m going to feel like an a*****e. I know. I’m like, f**k. That’s what you feel all the time. Well, yeah, that’s true. I am an a*****e. I am a freaking jerk. Well, I’m sorry your son feels that way. I know, you know, being in his familiar, you know, familial, familial? What’s the family? His family situation. Yeah. You know, the relations and all. Mm-hmm. He would feel cursed. Yeah, you know, you get down, you know, things happen. I mean, you know, look around. Yeah. Yeah. He’s like, this guy’s like one step from an iron lung. Yeah, no kidding. So, you know, but I think it’s okay. I think it’s going to be fine. I’ll be honest. It’s going to be fine. It’s going to be okay, right? Oh, yeah. That’d be fine. Yeah. Maybe it wasn’t grandma. Maybe it was just somebody who looks like grandma. And why was my sister in the dream? Well, you look like your mom, so. I look a lot like my dad. Yeah. I was trying to draw a connection to you. I look like my daddy. Yeah, you do look like your dad. Handsome. There’s no mistaking. There’s no mistaking. A little bit of Clark Gable. Yeah, remember, like, a long time ago, they had those apple people where they’d take and, like, make their face out of an apple, and it’d be all dried up and craggly. Yeah, you’d cook the apple or something, wouldn’t you? Yeah, that would you guys, the apple people. We do look alike. I mean, we do. Male or female. Yeah, male or female. Yeah, all this. Yeah. Although my brother does not look like my dad. That’s weird. mailman? It’s been theorized. Because actually, he has my grandpa’s name, who coincidentally was also a best friend of my mom and dad, that name. Coincidence. That guitar playing son of a bitch. I wonder if he’s my brother’s. Yeah. Hmm. Weird. You know, I mean, I want to talk out of turn here, but somebody I know had a, you know, extra child go on. Go on. I’m just saying. I’m not going to say any more than that. I’m going to get in trouble, so I won’t say any more than that. I don’t know. No one I know. Nobody you know had an extra kid or anything? No. Really? You mean like a bastard, you mean, or what? Yeah, yeah, that’s a grown-up child, yeah. I don’t know. Was that you? I don’t know. I have no idea what you’re alluding to. I don’t know. Okay. Well, I probably shouldn’t have said anything. Let’s change the subject. I don’t know. I really don’t know. I don’t know. Let’s change the subject. I guess. I would like to hear this off the air. I don’t know. Refer to me. I know it’s not me. No. Well, heck, come on. You would flaunt it. Let’s be honest. Yeah. That’s my kid. Yeah. Yeah. Well, if my dad was like super, super, super rich, I’d be like, that is my dad. Otherwise, I’ll just claim my dad as my dad. Gotcha. Okay. Nothing against my dad. I’m just saying. Actually, I know several people who have an extra child. Now that I think about it. Dr. J. No, Dr. J doesn’t. He’s probably got three or four. No, I don’t think so. I don’t know. I have no idea. I don’t know. Well, I’ll tell you about it later. Anyway. All right. Go ahead. I don’t know why I brought it up. I guess I was just thinking about it. You and Roberta? No, not Roberta. That girl you used to work with at the library, Roberta? No, not Roberta. You were wanting to bang her? You were like, hey, come here. No, there was no interest in Roberta ever. She seemed interested in you. Well, that may have been. I’ve had several opportunities with the wacky and weird side of Roberta. Wasn’t she the one that wanted to sit, like, really close to you all the time? You’re like, no, get away. Yes, I tell her, get away from me. Arms length. I think I used to say that. Arms length, Roberta. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. I don’t know what we do here. I can’t touch you. Uh-uh. It’s more of a guideline than a rule. Yeah. No. Well, everybody. Yeah. Remember? Yeah. In college, I had a job. I worked at the library in what was called at the time the Self-Instruction Center. Yeah. And Miles was rich and didn’t have a job. By choice. That’s correct. Yes. Yeah. And then he would come out and hang out at my job and talk to all the interesting people that I worked with. Looking back, I probably should have gotten a job. I don’t know how I thought about that. Yeah, well, you could have got a job. You were there enough. You could have just got a job. I know. I could have. Shit, I would have made like $20,000 at least. I don’t know about that. That was back like 40 years ago. Yeah. Back then, I don’t think I made no $20,000. But yeah, it was a good job, though. Honestly, it was one of the better jobs on campus, if you ask me. But this guy in the library. You’re in the library. Those guys handed out cassette tapes and headphones for three hours a night. Got paid for it and got to do my homework in between. Yeah. He’s getting a whopping $5. Remember I handed out bones. You don’t remember that? I’m not sure what that’s code for. No, I handed out boxes of bones. You don’t remember this. I was not in that class. No. We had, so at the Sulphur Church Center, we had all kinds of stuff. We had a lot of cassettes and headphones and film strips. And this is before, you know, had films and videotapes and all kinds of stuff. Yeah. This is be

    31 min

  3. Jun 23

    Cursed Napkins

    Miles tries to eat more than his meal, while Bob has some issues with the restaurant’s cleaning equipment. GAMES, like old school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/BABrCYf5Kz0 Miles tries to eat more than his meal, while Bob has some issues with the restaurant’s cleaning equipment. Cursed Napkins Bad AI Transcript is on it’s on it’s on like you’ll never believe it’s ever been on before Thank you. Hey everyone. This is my title with static radio podcast here in the United States. Want to add anything to that? I mean, it seems like a lot of information there. Bob has FIFA overload and he’s wearing a kilt right now with nothing with nothing under it. That’s right. I’m flapping in the breeze. Hello. Stop flashing young children right now. The, I don’t, you know, the FIFA thing I don’t get. I mean, I just don’t, you know, do Americans really love soccer or football that much? Football? I imagine. Actually, I was just talking to you before we started recording that I went to lunch with some friends and one of them left to go watch a FIFA game at the end. Like we were done eating. Oh, I’m sure I know which one. Yeah. I was like, huh? Yeah. Which team does he like? He mentioned what game he was watching, but it’s beyond me now. I can’t remember. I’m going to go watch Paraguay. Yeah, Uruguay and Paraguay. I don’t know what it was, honestly, but I was just like, really? Yeah. It’s a big deal. I know it’s a big deal. Obviously, it’s a big deal right now because it’s all across North America. We’ve been a pain in the ass and all the airlines are f****d up and everything. But anyway, I had an old neighbor and he used to love to watch soccer. He talked about it all the time. Is that the guy that tried to burn down his house? He’s the other neighbor. Yeah, the other neighbor. Yeah. Yeah. guy who didn’t burn down his house on the other side of me. Oh, okay. Yeah. When you lived out in the county. Uh, no, I live in the city. In the city I didn’t want to talk about FIFA, but you brought it up, and so I thought, well, I have to say something about it, I guess. You deal with all these really cool people, and I figure there’s got to be a few of them, I’m sure, that are into it. All these really cool people. You know all these really cool. How in the world do you know all these really cool people? Yeah. I make sure that they’re never around when you’re around. You ever see that? You ever notice that? Mm-hmm. Separate worlds. he ever hurt you. So anyway. What are you doing? Go ahead, Steve Perry. Let’s hear it. No, I’m really phlegmy tonight, so I really don’t want to do that. What does that happen? Do you have some kind of condition or something? Do you have gills? You possibly have gills that get all gummy because you’re not supposed to be breathing air. You’re supposed to be breathing water. My doctor finally confessed. He goes, you know what? You’re all f****d up. I go, why? He goes, all this meds I’ve got you on. I’m like, oh, you son of a bitch. The truth comes out. You know, I have all these problems. You know, my legs swell. I get phlegmy at night. You know, whatever else, you know. Whatever else. You didn’t mention your ED. You always mention your ED. Yeah, that’s one of them. It comes like a thief in the night, let me tell you. I got you on all these meds. Well, that’s great. Yeah. Somehow, I always think of you as one of the people in the movie Seven. Yeah, out of the box? No, you’re the guy. Remember the guy with all the air fresheners in his room? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That’s the way Miles is at home. He’s got all the air fresheners because he’s basically decaying in place. You know what? This really is not related to anything, but my doctor, about half the time I see my doctor, he always starts laughing. He goes, God, you told me that funny story about that old guy that wanted to beat your family up. at that motel, I go, yeah, yes. I don’t know why he loves that story of me almost being beat up by an old man at a hotel at the motel. It’s a motel. Yeah. Yeah. That’s a very, very old story, which I won’t go into, but yeah, he loves it. I remember you hit or something. Didn’t you, you know, we can debate that as to what I was doing, but ultimately I would have survived. Oh, okay. Had I gotten physical, I would have survived. At that point in time, you were a little more mobile. See, I could have flanked him. I could have come at him behind. My family could have taken the brunt of his beatings. I’d wait until his arms were tired. I’d wait until he gets worn down. That’s right. I’d wait for him to wear out a little bit. Then I’d put a full Nelson on this little guy and be like, all right, son of a bitch. Hey, you f****r. I put my chin right in the middle of his back. I’m like, oh yeah, you like this? Do you have a chin? Jesus, I didn’t even know you had a chin. Well, chins, chins. Oh my goodness. Well, do you have any more on that you want to talk about? No, that was just an old thing here. Okay. How your doctor says, I’ve screwed up your life because I’ve given you so many meds. Yeah, I’m drowning in my own fluids, basically. And I’m like, oh, okay. That’s good. I always go into like a list of things wrong with me. He’s like, yep, I caused that. Yep, I did that. Yep. And I just got a new Corvette. Basically, yeah. He cut me off when I said I had blood in my stool. He’s like, all right, you know what? We’re going to stop right there, Miles. Time’s up. another appointment to talk about that. Yeah. Um, so i’m trying to think how to approach this. So as you know, Miles, I have a lot of, uh, you have a lot of like medical situations. I do. And I seem to have a lot of, uh, perhaps psychological situations. I would agree with that too. Yes. So there’s this place, uh, that my wife likes to go out to dinner too. It’s, it’s not a, uh, chain or anything. It’s a local place, you know, and it’s not super fancy, but it’s not unfancy. You know what i mean pizza the cup no no it’s walking tacos. Okay. Um, Now, so we went to – what’s that? I didn’t say anything. Oh, I thought you said something. No, I was very quiet. I was like, oh. Oh, geez, you got a little feedback there. It’s Michael. Move your chin. Move your chin over. Yeah. Hey, Jabba. Jesus. So we like to go there every once in a while, and we went there recently. And I do like it. It’s very tasty, and it’s a good place to go. It’s not overly expensive. But they are trying to be a little more upscale than they need to be, at least for me, because they have cloth napkins. Oh, fancy. I know, fancy. We’re getting cloth napkin service at a paper napkin price. Yeah. And so, you know, it’s like, that’s all fine and good, but I can’t… I’ve broken… I tried to use them. The first few times I went, I struggled through it. I used the cloth napkins. Did… They have the words Holiday Inn stitched into them. I’m just wondering. Cut up old towels is what you’re saying? Yeah. Well… They’re all stolen hand towels from the Holiday Inn. No, but the, so I use them and then I just, I got, I just like, I can’t, you know, I apologize to my wife this one time, not before, not this last time. Apologize to my wife before and I’m like, I just can’t use these. I can’t use these napkins on my face. It just, it drives me nuts. Now, you would think, and part of it is this, but it’s not the main part, that I think about all the other people who have used this napkin. Yep. But that’s not the main reason. People like me. That’s right. I’ll have the rib special. Holy moly. I’m going to clean off my chins. Yeah. Jesus Christ, there’s a bone under my chin. Oh, my God. A spare rib. It’s like seeing Paul Prudhomme eat ribs, for Christ’s sake, back in his heyday. If anybody remembers who the hell that guy was, he was a big, fat New Orleans guy. So it’s because they use so much fabric softener that I can’t stand the feel of the napkin on my skin. Is that weird? Well, not for you, probably. Other people. I mean, you have sensory problems. I do. You are undiagnosed something. I don’t know what, but you are undiagnosed something. That could be a show, Undiagnosed. Yeah, that’s you. That’s the name of the show, yeah. Undiagnosed, yeah. Yeah, so I forced myself to do it, you know, for a little while so I wouldn’t be weird. But here lately, I’ve been asking for paper napkins, which the waitress is not really happy with me asking. Yeah, hold on. Let me go across the street, McDonald’s. Hold on. Wait. I think they just go to the bathroom, to be honest with you. Oh, it’s just TP. They’re putting, like, toilet paper. Oh, no, it’s not. Napkins to wipe your hands on. These are sanitary napkins. Oh, these are different. Oh, these are textured. I got wings. I can get both corners of my mouth with one wipe. They’re extra absorbent. No, so yeah. So then every time they’re just disgruntled, I’m like, can I get some paper napkins? And they’re like, huh? Yeah. So this last time we go, right out of the gate, you know, I’m like, I’m always very polite and nice. Okay. I don’t believe that. I’m like, whenever you get a chance, you know, could you bring by some paper napkins? Oh, sure. I would do this after you got the food delivered, though. I would not do this prior. Well, I’m a preparer. I prepare. Yeah, okay. Why don’t you bring your own? I mean, if it’s a problem, why don’t you just bring your own? Well, that’s even weirder, isn’t it? Is that even weirder? You’re the king of all, so what do you care? Just whip them out of your pants. Well, you do know that for years, I always take big handfuls of napkins

    29 min

  4. Jun 21

    Mondo Freako - The St. Clair Incident

    The St. Clair Incident Bob welcomes his “new best friend” and fellow podcaster, Jeff Ponder, host of The Pondcast: Conversations That Go Nowhere. After a quick chat about Jeff’s background in St. Louis sports broadcasting and his show’s unique premise—which uses a random topic generator to force guests to think quickly on their feet—the duo dives into Bob’s preferred domain: the unexplained. Jeff opts to take a blind trivia challenge regarding the episode’s central topic, performing respectably by leaning on his St. Louis roots and intuition. The core of the discussion focuses on the infamous January 5, 2000, St. Clair Triangle UFO incident, where a massive, silent, triangular craft was sighted by multiple on-duty police officers across several Illinois suburbs just east of St. Louis. Bob and Jeff debate whether the football-field-sized object was a highly classified military prototype from the nearby Scott Air Force Base or genuine extraterrestrial technology. Given that 26 years have passed without any similar technology being publicly declassified by the military, both men ultimately land on “Team Alien,” concluding that the event remains one of the most compelling and unresolved multi-jurisdictional sightings in American history. The Pondcast https://youtube.com/live/gIw0O4qRhGY UFO Witness Game (Click Graphic to Start) Transcript (AI transcription) Hey, Pounder, how much does it cost to be Bob’s new best friend? Well, I charge by the hour, so it’s costing Bob a lot. Oh, no. Mondo Rico. Hey, everybody. Welcome to this edition of Mondo Rico. I’ve got Jeff Ponder with me. And Jeff’s my new best friend. If you haven’t noticed on the screen. Yep. We are definitely best friends. We’ve done one show together already, so that makes us best friends. Exactly. Yeah. What do they call that? Fast friends? Best friends? What do they call that? Fast friends, I think, is correct. Let’s go with that. So tell them about the Ponder cast. We’ll just get the plug in right away. How about that? Yeah, that works for me. So, yeah, I’m running something called, first of all, I’ve got a large background in podcasting. I don’t know if your audience is global or if they’re kind of central to St. Louis, but I’ve been podcasting about the St. Louis Blues for years. Oh, my goodness. Since 2011. Bob, I think you were let’s see, you were 65 in 2011. That’s right. I was somewhere in that range. Exactly. Yeah. So but yeah, I started I decided after a while because we kind of ran the show like a radio show. I’m like, man, the best conversations are just when it’s kind of spur of the moment. So I decided to come up with my own kind of interview slash show. conversational podcast, and it’s called The Pondcast, Conversations That Go Nowhere. Did I say Pondcast? I’m sorry. You did. That’s okay. I’m docking your pay for that. Well, I just looked at your last name. I know it’s part of his last name. I know it’s something like that. I toyed around with Pondercast just because it does fit the last name perfect, but I’m like podcast, Pondcast, and my logo, my idea, it actually was most people, I’ve had a couple people guess it, but the logo for the show is literally a car in the middle of a lake, and I got the idea from the office. For anyone who watches that, Michael Scott drives his car. He laked it, as they say. Right. He was listening to the GPS voice. Right. And so my thought was, you know, the, the second part of the show is called conversations that go nowhere. So it’s a car that went nowhere. So that’s kind of the whole idea. So I thought stick with podcast that works. That’s better than who was that lady that drove her kids into the water. Anyway, it’s better than that. Don’t go on. I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m sorry. But yeah, we use a topic, a random topic generator is the whole idea on the show. And we literally in the middle of the moment, just hit enter. Boom, it gives us a topic. Bob, you came on, and ours was, was it impulse buying? I think it was, where do your socks go in the dryer? Right next to the Braunschweiger. Yeah, no, it was impulse buying. You’re correct. Okay, yeah, yeah. So we had a fun time with that, and we’re only about 13 episodes in now, and it’s been a blast. So I’m enjoying it. It’s going to be around for a while. I don’t care if I get five downloads an episode. It’s been fun. There you go. That’s the way to be. Are you looking for guests in case anybody’s listening to say, hey, I could be a guest on the podcast. So my one stipulation with having a guest and yes, anyone is welcome to contact me is that you just have to be quick on your feet. And so obviously, Bob, you know, like that, that impulse buying came across and it’s like, okay, this is what we’re talking about. You can’t have the, all right, can you give me about 10 minutes to prep with that? No, we’re going right into it. You have to have your own AI mind to get these answers very quickly. You can’t type it in. There’s no time for typing. When I did a couple kind of promo shows, what was it called? Pilots. I did a couple of pilot episodes, and I had a friend come on, someone I knew since high school. And so I picked her because I was like, you’re a witty person. You’re going to be good at this. And so she’d never done a podcast before. And so when it came up with her topic, she literally goes, okay, let me type this into AI on what to say. And then she kind of like started acting like she was typing. She’s going, and I go, Jen, that’s not the point of the show. She’s like, I’m just messing with you. And I was like, oh, you got me. Well, we have a somewhat random topic today. You did influence the topic because normally here on Mundo Frico, we do things that are cryptids, paranormal, supernatural, or UFOs. And then I asked you, I was like, well, what area would you like? And I think hopefully you said UFO because that’s what I’ve got for you today. I told you that I would be glad with any of those. If it’s just random, that’s fine. But I said the area that I’m most interested in is probably UFO. All right. So we got to go. And now I give the guest a choice. So we always do a quiz on the show. And I give the guests the choice to do the quiz before they find out more about what it is or after they know what it is. So I’ll let you know what’s going to happen if you do the quiz early. You may already know something about this. And we’ll find out. It’s kind of like find out what you know. If you do it after what I’ll tell you about the topic, then, you know, it’s a little bit easier of a quiz then. But I’ll let you make the choice. Okay, I am all for the randomness of whatever this conversation is. Let’s do the quiz first. All right. Quiz. Quiz. I’m not sure if you can read that. Quiz. Yeah, I see it. So this is our quiz, and that reveals the topic. The St. Clair Triangle UFO incident in the St. Louis area in 2000. We have seven questions. I do have a hint if you really want it. And let’s find out how well ponder of the pond cast, not the ponder cast, does with these questions. So first question, in what year? Oh, no, the answer is right there. In what year did the St. Clair Triangle UFO incident occur in the St. Louis, Illinois area? 1997, 2000, 2003, 2005. Do you want the hint? I don’t. No, I’m going to take a wild stab in the dark and say 2000. Yeah, I forgot to take that off. You’re right. The St. Clair Triangle incident occurred in January of 2000, making it one of the most well-documented UFO cases of that era. Only 20-some years ago, 26 years ago. All right, that was a give me, right? Okay, that was. Oh, this is a little too big here. Let’s see if I can make that smaller. There we go. So which Illinois town gave the St. Clair Triangle incident its name and served as a central location for the sightings? It’s not St. Clair, by the way, Jeff. I knew that. Was it Belleville, O’Fallon, Shiloh, or Lebanon? I believe it’s one of the… I’ve got a hint if you want it. I’m going to just… No, let’s stay away from the hint. I believe, if I remember correctly, it’s one of the most haunted areas in the Midwest. I believe it’s Belleville. So I’m going to go with that. Let’s see. That’s correct. All right. Belleville is right. The incident is often called the Belleville Triangle or the St. Clair County Triangle because many of the key sightings occurred in and around Belleville, Illinois, which is in St. Clair County. If people didn’t know that. So you got two. Two out of seven. You’re doing fantastic. All right. Number three. What was a defining physical characteristic of the craft reported by multiple witnesses during the St. Clair Triangle incident? Was it A, a cigar-shaped silver fuselage, B, a large triangular or boomerang shape with lights, C, a spinning disc with colored rings, or D, a glowing orb that changed colors? This feels like a trick question because obviously it’s the St. Clair triangle UFO, and you have one in there about a triangular shape with lights. God, that’s such a – give me the hint. Let’s see the hint. You want the hint. Okay. The incident’s nickname gives away the shape. There it is. Okay, I’m going to go with B. All right. Triangular ring shape. I think it’s too easy. There we go. Multiple witnesses, including police officers, described a massive silent aircraft with a distinct triangular or boomerang shape adorned with bright lights on the underside. So you’re three out of seven. You’re almost 50% at this point. That is 50% by my math. Oh, okay. Well, obviously a product of the St. Louis Public School District. Uh-huh. That’s correct. What made the St. Clair Triangle incident particularly credible compared to many other UFO reports? Was it A, captured on live television broadcast? B, multiple on-du

    45 min

  5. Jun 19

    LeMent Tonight 061726

    This Week Comedian Grace Yao appeared as a guest on LeMent Tonight, sharing her experiences growing up as a first-generation Canadian-American and attending a strict all-girls Catholic high school. She hilariously compared her time at St. Agnes Academy to a prison sentence, joking about the intense guilt instilled by the nuns and the “speakeasy” vibe of the confession booths. Yao also opened up about her relationship with her traditional Chinese mother, who initially tried to raise her as a boy because she wanted a son. She joked that she eventually managed to “buy off” her mother’s persistent guilt and stalking by moving far away and purchasing her a white Lexus. Yao explained that entering stand-up comedy served as a form of therapy, allowing her to process her childhood trauma and get paid for it. During the interview, she participated in an improvisational game called “Ask Not,” intentionally giving terrible advice on topics like buying rusted-out junkyard cars and sending parents to the Titanic with nothing but a flashlight and a rope. Looking to the future, Yao discussed her upcoming aspirations, which include auditioning for acting and commercial gigs, utilizing her skills in Mandarin and martial arts, and producing a new stand-up show centered around female and mother-focused comedy. https://www.instagram.com/graceyao_00/ https://youtube.com/live/7LeogHUCymw Bad AI Transcript Hey, everybody. Welcome. It’s LeMent Tonight. special guest is Grace Yao. And of course we’ve got Gary Lymes, the Flea Tones. Thank you, Gary. No, Gary, no. So Grace Yao, let me say a little bit about Grace before we bring her out here. So Grace Yao talks about family relationships, observation of rules in life we all follow and are fed up with. She has bottled up beautifully her polite rage into comedy. Everybody, Grace Yao. Thank you, thank you. Oh, I can hit the applause button. Oh, I raised my hand here. Let’s get some applause for you, of course, right? Sure, that’d be great. You stayed up late tonight uh she’s supposed to be watching uh love island or something and she decided she’d talk to me yeah yeah tv broke tv broke um yeah so how are you doing tonight grace i’m i’m hot it’s hot here um hot flashes don’t help. Yeah. Just feel like I’m incredible. I got stuck in an oven. Oh, gosh. Yeah. Yeah. But uh, yeah. So um, yeah, Bob and I were talking about shame for some reason right before. My that’s always my second subject when I talk to people. Yeah. Very, very nice opener there. Um, But it was great. It’s great because I’m also a Catholic school girl. Yeah. Yeah. I still have the outfit. Shut up anyways. Yeah, it was a school for, it was a high school for girls only. It wasn’t bad. It really wasn’t that bad, really. I mean, it’s like where girls go. You know, they hang out, they gossip, they braid each other’s hair. You know, it’s kind of like that place called prison. Yeah. Yep. I served four years at St. Agnes Academy of You Will Graduate If You Feel Guilty. Yeah, I graduated the class of I’m sorry, I’m a sinner. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. Oh my god, I think a really good. Sorry, sorry. You know, have you ever seen nuns? Like close up? Yeah, I have actually. Are you a Catholic schoolboy? No, I’m not. Okay. I just wonder what how would you get to see a nun? But you know, they have you noticed that nuns they don’t walk? You know, they glide in their habit and everything. And I just I used to think it was the Holy Spirit. Yeah, but looking back, it was just pure concentrated, like, I haven’t had sex since prom, you know, they’re going on yeah and and somehow i don’t know what, what did nuns do? I mean, they’re probably on like catholic dating apps, just like swiping right on Jesus. Like, Oh, you know, yes, for Jesus. And somehow they all got, yeah, they all got matched with the same guy actually. So they’re all married to Jesus. Seriously. Uh, they’re literally called the bride of Christ. Yeah. Yeah. So isn’t it weird? Like we, we call them sisters. We calling them Mrs. Jesus. Cause they’re all married to Christ. Yeah. So anyway, you know, when nuns die, they should be like, they’re probably waiting for their honeymoon finally, you know, to go on a honeymoon. But, uh, I don’t know how many people know this, but there’s no marriage in heaven, according to the Bible. But it just means that when they die, they’ll probably end up at the pearly gates with St. Peter going, I’m sorry, but there’s no sex in heaven. Please put your vaginas in the basket. Have you got one? Come on, don’t be shy. Now you know the secret. Now pretty much in heaven we’re all just Ken and Barbie dolls. Just nuns out there going, I stayed celibate to end up in eternity smooth. But anyway. Yeah, so that’s me. Catholic school girl. Lots of therapy. Anyway. Now, you really think that there’s no sex in heaven? Well, true. Just because there’s no marriage doesn’t mean… I mean, maybe it’s just all, you know, like some kind of crazy orgy up in heaven. Yes, actually. Yeah. Or maybe it’s just people… It’s like, you know… plastic sandpaper. Everybody’s just rubbing up against each other with their smoothness. What do you think? Yeah, rug burn. That’s right. I got some cloud burn going on because I’m up in heaven. Right. That’s interesting. So you spent four years at Catholic school. Now, I mean, the interesting thing as you talk about it is if it’s kind of bad and good. It’s not like you’re angry about it. It’s kind of like you’re, you survived and you’re kind of, you know, it’s kind of quizzical to you, it seems like. Yeah, I’m not angry about it. I’m just like, I can’t believe, I can’t believe what they, they, what I went through. I can’t believe so So you’re saying basically you didn’t buy into all the rhetoric is what you’re telling me. Yes, pretty much. Yes. So what rhetoric would you, were the pieces that you, all the Catholics that I know, they always just take the pieces they like and then they leave the pieces they don’t like. So which pieces did you like? I liked the confessional booth. You know, you go in, there’s like a little peephole, you know, you can fly the door open. I mean, it just reminded me of like a 1920s speakeasy. Okay. Yeah. So I always… Just the physical nature of it? Or was it, do you like pouring your soul out to another person that you may or may not know? Oh, no, no, I didn’t. I would go in there when no one’s in the other little room. Yeah. Isn’t that kind of like, you know, it’s kind of weird because you could draw a comparison between the glory hole and confession. Yeah. And they’re also called a Judas hole. Oh, really? I’ve never heard that one. Explain. I must have had something to do with Judas. Okay. So basically you shouldn’t necessarily always trust who’s behind the door there, behind the other side? Yeah. They could turn on you and say, Grace, give me 10 Hail Marys and… Bloody Mary. Community service. Oh, yeah. Well, it’s up so high, I don’t know how people would actually use it for anything else. Oh, okay. I’ve never given confession, so I’ve seen the box, but I’ve never been in it. I’m always afraid to, when I’ve been in a Catholic church, I’m always afraid to go in there because I certainly don’t want to give my confession. Oh, I think it’s going to be on your bucket list now. Uh-oh. You got to try it just once. I’ve only seen the ones in movies and on Seinfeld and whatnot where it’s like right there where they’re leaning against each other, basically. You said it’s high up, so it’s above where your head would be while you’re sitting down, I’m assuming. Oh, you’re sitting down and it’s like where your head is. Yeah. Oh, okay. Interesting. So open the door before they open the door. Who’s behind there? So did you have to give confession while you were in high school? It was an option. Oh, they didn’t make you do it like, well, Grace, we haven’t seen you by the confessional recently. You might want to go in there. I’m sure you’re not been really that great. I mean, it’s obvious. Thank goodness. It wasn’t a grade. So it was just. Your clothing alone tells me you need to be in there. The what alone? Your clothing. My clothing alone. You’re you’re obviously breaking some of the dress codes here at the academy. Oh, the little plaid uniforms that look like. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Probably for those girls who would, you know, roll up their their little skirt belts. Mm hmm. One too many times, and it made it like really, really a miniskirt. Uh-huh. Probably they were in confession. Probably in trouble, huh? Yeah. Hmm. So I don’t want to necessarily talk about Catholic stuff all night. No offense. If you want to talk more about it, if you have like a proclivity to only talk about Catholic things, we can. But if not, I have some other questions. Let’s go to the other question. I’ll take other questions for 400. OK, so. So we were talking earlier, I said, if you had anything to plug, you can go ahead and say it. So is there anything you want to mention here at the now or. I like to get it out of the way and then we’re going to come back to it at the end, but like to get it out of the way. Yeah, let’s get it out of the way. Thank you, mom. for giving me lots of material to talk about. Oh yeah. And you can find me on Instagram. My handle is grace. Yeah. Underscore. Double O. Really? There’s zero, zero. I just wanted the James Bond thing, but it’s four, zero, zero. Is that because of your mother? Does she have some kind of crush on James Bond or something? Absolutely not. I don’t think she even knows who he is. Really? So what, So why – so what is your mom – what’s the worst thing your mom’s done? Has she embarrassed you or what is she – has she punished you?

  6. Jun 18

    Real Travel

    Bob has a terrible time travelling during the World Cup, while Miles takes us back to a simpler time where a 10-year-old could see celebrities in Dallas on their own. GAMES, like old school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/g7455VoOB28 Bob has a terrible time travelling during the World Cup, while Miles takes us back to a simpler time where a 10-year-old could see celebrities in Dallas on their own. Real Travel Bad AI Transcript How are you, young man? Which item do you identify with? The scotch tape? Ha ha! Bye. Hey, everyone. Miles with this podcast thing called Static Radio here. I love how you’re so enthusiastic. You really get people into the mood of the show. I’m just an average guy. I’m just an average man living an average life. I work from 9 to 5. Hey, hell, I’ve paid the price. I’ve never done good things. I’ve never done bad things. You know, sometimes in your life, it’s like feast or famine for stories. The night, it’s feast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Rather than just run right into it, how are you doing tonight? I’m, I’m doing well. I’m all right are you Do you want to tell the story first? No, I just have a really short thing I want to talk about because I know you’re going to have a pretty long thing going on here. I’m a rambling man. Just because I had a request from one of our biggest fans. Oh, really? I wanted to honor that young man’s request. Who was requesting this? Are we privy? It is a loyal listener by the name of CB. Oh, CB. A good old CB. CB. He’s battling psoriasis right now, so he’s like, Miles. Is he really? I’m just making that up. I don’t know. Psoriasis kind of has negative connotations. You might want to say he’s just got like pink eye or infantile. Yeah. Gingivitis. Gingivitis, yeah. I can see him having like fist disease or something weird, you know. I don’t know. I don’t know. I’m not sure what he does, but anyway. We are brothers in arms. The disease of. but um no uh and unfortunately i’ve really through captions on tiktok and Facebook, I’ve actually told most of the story, but he wanted to hear a little bit more about, I’d posted some pictures, like they weren’t really postcards, but kind of headshots of a couple of people from an old, old, old show that was on nbc called real people, people, uh, which was kind of a feel good stories, I guess, a lifting feel good stories that, uh, there was like, what about six people on the cast? Uh, various times. Yeah. There was Skip Stevenson. I’m going on a memory here. Yeah. Barbara. Yep. Uh, uh, who’s the Byron Allen. He was on later though. Oh, okay. Peter Billingsley was on Bill Rafferty as well. Bill Rafferty. That’s what I was trying to remember. Bill Rafferty. And, um, Everybody’s favorite porn house viewer. captain Willard, Fred Willard. Yeah. Yeah. And I think there was, I don’t think there was anybody else that i can recall. Oh, Mark Russell appeared early on in the earlier seasons. And I think they got rid of that guy. Remember he played the piano and like did political songs. Oh, that guy. Was he on there? Yeah. He was on real people for a while. He played i’m gonna tell you, I’ll tell you skip i’m gonna play a song You know, Jimmy Carter, he likes peanuts. Wait, did you say peanuts? Yeah, it’s peanuts. Peanuts. And then I think they got rid of him, and that’s when Byron Allen came on. Oh. You know, I didn’t. Wow, man, this guy knows his real people. Let’s get rid of that stupid-ass white guy playing the piano, singing songs about, you know, Millard Fillmore. Yeah. Somebody hip in here, like Byron Allen. If you knew Susie like I knew Susie. What was the question? What was his question about it? You seem to be intrigued by it. Have you pleasured yourself to Sarah Pichelle? Not at that point. I was too young. Or was I? I was going to say, I didn’t think you were too young. I don’t know. I’ve probably been about 10 when that show came out. I know. Uh, but anyway, they had done, I kind of looked this up a little bit, but they had kind of done like this promotional thing where they rode like a train around United States. They had different promotional stops in different cities and they had, this was, I think early on. Cause, uh, as fate would have it, I was actually at one of these stops, um, down in Dallas, Texas. Yeah. I was like, hey, hey, where’s the free stuff? My kid needs it. Interesting enough, I think I was there by myself. That’s the weird part. Yeah, I was like a young kid. This is before you knew kids could be kidnapped and murdered. Hey, kid, go run around Daly Plaza or whatever it was. Kennedy got shot in the head. See what it’s all about. There’s this weird phallic-like building, uh, in dallas called like the reunion center or something called the book depository. No, it’s come on. It’s a, come on. You know, I’m talking about, it’s kind of a funky looking i’ve been to dallas actually. So, and i’m sure you have, I’m sure i’ve seen the area. Yeah. And, um, nap on the grassy knoll. No, I had, no, this has nothing to do with the grass. Get it Yeah. Get past that. Yeah. It has nothing to do with the book depository. The grass, you know, it has nothing, nothing. and uh so oddly and i don’t know, I don’t, I somehow happened upon this or i don’t know how i heard about it. I went out. I remember being by myself though, like in this crowd of people, which i can’t see sarah purcell i’ll show her, you know, that’s not the first time I, because my dad would win like this yearly trips for his company he worked for. And, I remember like walking around like downtown Toronto by myself when I was a kid. I’m like, wow. I mean, I’m like, I’m even here to tell you the truth. I’m lucky. I’m just that, you know, it’s not like you’re like prime. pickens as a child you know what i’m saying i don’t know people are looking for you you’re like one of those kids in the uh far side comics that you know sticks his head in the trap and whatnot i look like uh when i was kind of look like peter billingsley like if he went on a bender as a kid five o’clock shadow peter billingsley at eight and Yeah, my hair’s all f****d up walking around. Kind of like Peter Billingsley mixed with W.C. Fields. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, that’s me. Yeah. Okay. And so the train was there. And as I recall, this is a long time ago, I’m sure it was Skip Stevenson and Sarah Purcell. Wow. And they were waving to people. They weren’t really. Fred Willard would have been the third A-lister. Bill Rafferty and John Barber, B-list at best. I don’t like to say this is like a million years ago, so I really don’t. This is like early, early 80s. You could just be making all this up is what you’re saying. Yeah, so this is called the false memory. I don’t know. It was implanted. But the odd part, if that wasn’t odd enough, is like some dude had like a stack of like these headshots and literally just put it in my hands and walked away. I’m like, Here you go, here. You look like Peter Billingsley’s drunk cousin. I’ll give this to you. Are you on a bender, Peter, or what’s going on? I don’t know. I must have cherry-picked the ones I want. I just threw the rest in the dumpster. You didn’t keep them all? No. You have no sense of history? No. At the time, you don’t really think about stuff. You’re like, oh, okay. I understand. this just happens all the time. You know, I could just randomly walk around downtown Dallas by myself as a child and 10 years old. I don’t know how old I was. Yeah. Be honest. You’re like 25. Come on. Yeah, I wish. No, that is true though. Yes. I went to the red light district. Uh, you know, one night, we didn’t get to stay at the nice hotel. And I think we actually stayed very close to the red light district. That’s what your dad was. I, I only got two nights at the good hotel. Yeah. And I don’t know why, but cause I, the only thing I remember like out in front, there was like this huge rat and had been run over. Oh, great. And it had like dried out, like all of its juices were gone. So all it was like, just kind of a gross, you know, whatever it was, you know, like, Oh, a rapper, you know, like, Oh, The things you remember on trips. So, yeah. So, but I know that I, I didn’t get to shake anyone’s hand or, you know, I was quite a, you know, a lot of people got to steal a stack of headshots. I didn’t steal. No, some dude, just some random dude. I have random people come into my life. You know, when I was younger, green gave the Jersey to the kid, this guy, big kid. Yeah. I mean, I wish it would have been like $100 bills or something. No, it’s like headshots of real people. Well, little did you know, those are worth $100 a piece now. I know. I know. I sent this to you privately. You’re like, where’s Sheriff Rousseau? I want to knock it off, man. Like, I don’t have it. I threw it away. I threw it away. No, they were… How, in the end of the story, I guess, to conclude it is that, uh, my niece, my niece’s nephew, their dad passed earlier this year and they’re kind of cleaning out his house. And there was like this big thing of like postcards that, uh, my sister had. Right. And, uh, like it’s postcards upon postcards upon postcards of zoo animals and hotels, like. I said to my mom, I go, back in the day, didn’t hotels have like free postcards like they kept in the room of just like the picture of the hotel? Yeah, you could send the Holiday Inn to your friends. Oh, no. Have a great time with the Holiday Inn. No, no, no, no. Oh, no. Yes. No, I’m like, are you sure? Like they’d put like two or three. No, no, no, no. You get a pen, usually a little pad of paper and a couple of postcards. Yeah, right. I mean

    37 min

  7. Jun 9

    Racer X

    Miles gets jealous as Bob describes a freebie that he did not share. GAMES, like old school games, play a few with the Static Radio twist here – https://www.staticradio.com/category/games/ Subscribe Random Show Click Below https://youtube.com/live/jdhH8apWoZE Miles gets jealous as Bob describes a freebie that he did not share. Racer X Bad AI Transcript Who knows what they’re getting down on? They’re getting down on life. What do you think about that? Get down on it. Get down on it. Bye. get down on it this is miles you know what this platform needs? What? Captioning. I want to see my words around the bottom of the screen yeah you say, If it’s on the bottom of the screen, you say. Get down on it. Down on it. There you go. Yeah. Everybody’s tired tonight, Miles. I don’t know what’s going on. It’s the beginning of summertime. In the summertime when the weather is hot. Can we trot up and touch the sky when the weather is hot? Who sang that? Mongo Jerry. Mongo Jerry. Ah, my goodness. Yeah, so doing summertime activities. How about yourself? Yeah, yeah, pretty much. Oh, really? What did you do? Summertime activity. Mowed the grass? I stayed inside pretty much, and then I mowed the grass, yeah. You’re supposed to be the sweaty, fat neighbor. Oh, I am. I am. Okay, well, that’s good. Wish granted. Wish granted, yeah. Yeah, where the camera pans over and you’re, you know, the lawnmower’s smoking and then you’re waving at the camera. Yeah, that’s me. Yeah, you’re sweating profusely. You got like an old kitchen dish towel around your neck. Around my waist. Then that would be like what? A couple of different dozen towels? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think so. What’s weird is the neighbor’s constantly gardening. I’ll wake up at 6 to let the dogs out. I’ll look over. He’s out there. I’m like, Jesus. Really? Maybe he lives out there now. Maybe that’s where he is. I think his wife has banished him out to the garden. I know. He’s just constantly out there. Make some food for us. Does he ever give you any tomatoes or anything? He used to give me egg rolls. You don’t garden egg rolls, I don’t think. Thank you. do you pull them when they’re ready just kind of dig them up okay are you sure you’re not thinking of eggplant no he’s no this guy used to make egg rolls man do you think now that eggplant, since it’s a symbol for penis and texting that whenever people give other people an eggplant, they think it’s rude. I hope so, because my wife just bought her best friend an eggplant ceramic thing. Like when you’re cooking, you put your spoon somewhere to rest it. So it’s like a big penis spoon holder? Yeah. Oh, how interesting. Her friend loves penis. Well, I think that’s true. I was just wondering, yeah, if you’re just like, oh, I had some extra eggplants. You pervert. You know how you like eating free grapes in the supermarket? Well, that’s how she is with – Eggplants? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah. Get down on it. I was given an opportunity this weekend, and it was – all I can say is this opportunity was a total Miles title opportunity that I took full advantage of. You know, you sent me some vague pictures. I go, that son of a bitch. That son of a bitch got some nice freebie somewhere, and he’s going to rub it in my face. I think it was… Personally, it’s one of the nicer freebies that I’ve ever gotten. So I get… Because of the field that I am in, sometimes I am offered free tickets to things and free this and free that. And I just… I usually say no. I say no thanks. That’s okay. But this time I was offered something and it intrigued me. And so I’m like, well, wait a minute. The musical Stomp. That’s right. I got free tickets to Stomp. Yeah, right? It was Sesame Street Live, and I dressed up as Elmo. I cosplayed Elmo. Tickle me. That’s right. Tickle me, children. No, no, no. So they offered up tickets to go to the racetrack here in St. Louis, right? There’s a big racetrack here in St. Louis. There is? Yeah. I think it does NASCAR and IndyCar racing, right? So this is not like the low-end mini sprint midget things or whatever they used to do. This is like real racing. Is it right in the city, though, or is it like out in the suburbs somewhere? Well, I was almost going to be flippant and say it’s just like the bears out in the middle of nowhere. Oh, you son of a bear. Yes, it’s on the east side in the middle of nowhere. But I’ve always been curious. Not that I’m a racing person. I’m definitely not. This is definitely not one of the things that I would – pay money for, but I’m certainly going to take full advantage because number one, they not only offered me tickets, they offered me the box suite tickets where you go in the air conditioning and have free drinks and food. You’re a freaking jerk. And free VIP parking. Oh, you don’t deserve this. You don’t even deserve it. I asked my friend, Hefe, I said, Hefe, do you want to go to the races with me? Not Dr. J, right? No, no, Dr. J. No, Dr. J. This is my friend, Hefe. I’ve known him most of my life. And I said, I go, I got these box seats to the – these box tickets to the races. And I go, I’m probably going to have to talk to somebody, but – I mean, if this is the time you want to go see the races, this would be the time, right? And Jefe goes, I’ve never been. I’ll take you up on your freebie, my friend, right? Yeah, you know who also hasn’t been? Me. Yeah, me. Well, live a little closer, maybe. Jefe just lived real close. Yeah, I know. I’d get screwed again. Thanks. Yeah. Wait a minute. Should I go into the fact that Saturday I was going to meet you somewhere and you ditched me? For all those years, you bitched about me screwing you out of those Star Trek movie tickets. That’s true. The first remake of Star Trek, yes. Go ahead. I’m sorry. Go ahead. So you and Faye get up this beautiful freebie. Well, you wouldn’t meet me in the middle of nowhere… play pinball or something. So I figured there’s no way he’s going to come down here all the way down here to go to the race thing. Yeah, that’s true. So I’m like, all right, Jefe, come over and then we’ll run down to the racetrack. And so we did. So he’s like, yeah, I’ll be your date. And I’m like, what? After all these years, the truth comes out? Yeah. By the way, we used to be roommates for a while. You are very woman-like. Girl. So me and Jefe buzz down to the racetrack. Of course, I have no idea what I’m doing, which is the norm. And I just keep holding up my VIP parking pass to all of the orange-vested idiots that are along the route. And they’re waving me forward, right? Yeah. Yeah. and i’m like, are we going the right way? because I mean, there’s just, it’s just, the races are total f*****g chaos. It is total chaos with very minute, uh, times where everything seems to just snap together and work. You know what i mean? There’s people just going in every direction. There’s children running around in their underwear and dogs barking and jumping and And there’s like 100 people in safety vests that just seem to be standing in random places. They’re all my cousins. Yeah, they all look like they all asked me if I was related. Yeah. So we go and I’m like holding up my I printed everything out because I’m totally anal and don’t want to try to use the phone to have them scan it and everything. So I’ve got my, my, not only my VIP, I got my gold VIP parking pass is what it said. Yeah. So I’m holding it up and they’re like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Whatever idiot. Just keep going. Right. And then we, we get into the, we’re right next to the racetrack, you know, and we pull into where they tell me to pull into and, I’m like, wow, we’re really… I mean, right there’s the racetrack, right? Right. And then they have me drive and drive and drive and drive and drive. And the VIP parking is about a 15-minute f*****g walk. Oh, not here. Not here. Keep going. No, no. Keep going. Keep waving me. I’m like, this is not f*****g VIP. You’re out in the county. Keep going. And Jefe is like, there better be some f*****g drinks. That’s all I’m telling you. I didn’t bring any money. He said it was all inclusive. So we park way the f**k down this lane. I don’t even know. It’s like there’s corn. I don’t know what’s going on. So we have to walk all the way back to get to the line. And you get searched. at the racetrack nowadays, which, you know, I haven’t been to the races ever, but I was thinking it would be a lot more lax because, you know, where we live, where I live here and where you live mostly in the Midwest, people just have guns. They just carry them around. You know what I mean? This is not unusual. Yeah. To have people with a gun on their hip or, you know, in their car or in the back of their truck or, I mean, my father-in-law for one was always had like four or five guns within arm’s reach. And he shot himself accidentally. Yeah, he shot himself once, but that’s beside the point. Accidentally. It was accidentally, yes. And so they were a little bit more security-minded than I figured, but they didn’t have you walk through the gate. They just had guys with wands. It was like a porno or something. They just wanded you, suggestively. Yeah. Where were they sticking the wands at? Come up between your legs, you know, stand, spread your legs and put your arms out. And they just like rub it all around you. It was, I’m like, these are, I think these are all volunteers from the defender area. But anyway, I had to have all my, take everything out of your pockets, folks, and stick your arms out. And then they, whoo. you know, and of course they had the bag checkers, which thankfully we did not bring bags because we traveled light. You know, we were like yeah it’s all inclusive, right? We got everything. So we didn’t br

    36 min

  8. Jun 5

    Mondo Freako - The Minotaur

    The Minotaur In this episode of the Mondo Freako podcast, host Bob LeMent interviews movie reviewer and podcaster Houston Pierce, whose own show, A Thousand Crazy Questions, is currently on hiatus until the fall. The episode kicks off with a seven-question trivia quiz on the Minotaur from Greek mythology. To both of their surprises, Houston achieves a perfect score, correctly identifying details such as the Minotaur’s parents, its given name Asterion, Daedalus as the designer of the labyrinth, and the tragic mistake Theseus made with his ship’s sails upon returning to Athens. Following the quiz, the conversation shifts into a deeper discussion about the nature of Greek mythology, exploring whether ancient citizens viewed these tales as literal history and religion rather than fiction. Bob and Houston analyze the deeply flawed, human-like pettiness of the Greek gods, comparing their dramatic behavior to modern reality television. They also touch upon pop culture adaptations, contrasting the 1997 television movie The Odyssey and Ray Harryhausen’s classic 1981 Clash of the Titans with modern cinematic remakes. The episode wraps up with a humorous theory about the gods potentially being ancient aliens, alongside a playful critique of the structural plot holes in the classic Minotaur myth. 1000 Crazy Questions ItsHoustonPierce https://youtube.com/live/q17ysmrp7bo Labyrinth of the Minotaur Game (Click Graphic to Start) Transcript (AI transcription) Hey Houston, how clean is your desk? as a 13-year-old boy’s internet history. Uh-oh. Watch out. Everybody welcome to Mondo Free. Hondo Rico. That’s right. Thank you. Tonight I’ve got with me Mr. Houston Pierce with a thousand crazy questions. Hello? How are you doing tonight? I’m sorry. I didn’t hear me over the music, probably. Oh, I can hear you a little bit. I’m doing good. It’s just a little faint, but I’m doing good. Oh, okay. I can bump it up a little bit there. What do you think? It’s a little faint. I can hear you just a little bit. Oh, that’s weird. I wonder what the deal is there. I’m like my regular levels here. I’ll turn up my stuff. All right. It’s probably my stuff. I don’t know. Oh, okay. I’ll figure it out. We’ll figure it out. So welcome to Mondo Frico. I got Houston with me here. I can throw the name up there just for the heck of it. There you go. And Houston’s got a show called A Thousand Crazy Questions. What number are you up to now, Houston? I think… How many do I have? I think I was about to pass up 100 episodes, but I don’t. I forgot. Right now, my podcast is hibernating and sleeping. I’m probably going to wake it up this fall. So probably when Halloween season. You have to get up to that thousand. Turn it back on and have new guests. More questions. Oh, a thousand. I don’t know. The questions. I don’t know. I don’t know. I haven’t even tried to calculate that. I was thinking of episodes. That’s fine. Either way, you got to get to a thousand on something. Don’t you think? Yeah. Yeah. It’s just, you know, a thousand is just there to be like, you know, like a lot. I think I’ve said this before on, I think I was a guest on someone’s podcast, but I mentioned how the number of thousand actually came from. Remember that show, A Thousand Ways to Die? Uh-huh. Is it? Matt? No, not Matt TV. What was that one? Spike? I think it was Spike. Oh, on Spike. Yeah, I think you’re right. On the old Spike TV. And I saw that as like a kid. I was like, a thousand seems like such a big word. And I decided the word big number. And I just kind of like the way it sounded. A thousand ways to die. So I took it by the way. Oh, a thousand questions. There you go. And part of those could be ways to die as well. a lot of them actually are ways to die so yeah exactly well uh we’ll be watching for when you come back uh from hiatus yeah you’re working on some other stuff in the meantime, but definitely. Okay. You don’t want to talk about that, the other stuff no i i should thank you for watching that uh i have a different channel uh it’s houston pierce that’s literally the name. It’s like i t s Houston Pierce on IG, on Instagram. I post my humble two cents on movies and movie reviews, some movie essays. I also, if you look up Houston Pierce on YouTube, it’s the same handle. Houston, I think, underscore Pierce is the only difference for YouTube and Instagram. But Houston Pierce, that’s the name I’m going, that’s my name, so that’s where it is. On TikTok, on YouTube, and on IG. It’s Houston Pierce. What’s the last movie you saw? What did you talk about? The last movie I talked about was Passengers, but the last movie I saw just last night was He-Man, and I haven’t got a chance to review it yet. He-Man and Skeletor. Ah, Houston, we’re here. He-Man is in the way. That’s a pretty good Skeletor. Thank you very much, Houston. If you want me to do that for you, I’m just joking. If you want me to put that into your review somewhere, I’ll be happy to do that. I’m just joking with you. You did. This is a better skeletal voice than what I have. It sounds a little different. Everybody should check it out. Check it out. Well, do you want to – I’ll give you the choice here, Houston. Now, we talked briefly via some notes earlier. And I’ll give you the choice. Do you want to do the quiz first, or do you want to hear what tonight’s thing is? I think every time I’ve been on, I’ve asked for the quiz first. So I’m not going to stop doing that. Okay, here we go. Quiz. Quiz. Quiz. Quiz. Tell me if you can see that. You might not be able to read it, but can you see it? I can see it. I can see it. I don’t know how to make that bigger, honestly. But yeah, it’s kind of small there, isn’t it? But that’s okay. Let’s see. Can we do that? No, it doesn’t help at all, does it? Actually, the second part was a bit better. A little bit better. I’m going to read them out to you, so don’t worry about it too much. Okay. All right, here we go. The quiz is on the Minotaur. Okay. Have you ever heard of the Minotaur? Yeah, I’ve heard it. Minotaur, Minotaur. I don’t know which one’s right. Well, here in the Midwest, we say Minotaur. Minotaur. It could be Minotaur. But yeah, and the Minotaur is… Greek mythology. The Minotaur is the horse man, I think. No, is that a centaur? No, the Minotaur is that bull. The Minotaur is the bull man. There you go. Who were the parents of the Minotaur? Was it A, King Minos and Queen Pasipha? B, Poseidon and Amphitrite? C, Zeus and Hera, or D, King Aegis and Medea? And I have a hint if you want it. This is the hardest quiz I’ve had yet so far, Bob. But I like it. I’m here for it. There’s a hint. If you want a hint, I’ll click on the hint. I don’t know. Keep your… No. Keep your hints to yourself. Your pitiful hints. Um… I think, I know, okay, I’m pretty sure the mentor is cursed. So he probably has regular, probably had regular parents. So it’s either King Marcos and Queen something or King Ergos and Medea. I would go with A, King Marcos and Queen Palpatine. I’ll go with that one. King Minos and Queen Pasipha. He’s royalty, right? Here we go. You’re right! That’s right. The Minotaur was born to Queen Pasipha of Crete in a magnificent white bowl. Minos was Pasipha’s husband, making him the Minotaur’s stepfather, kind of. She was kind of cheating on him with a bowl, apparently. I don’t think that was how that conversation went. What do you mean you’re pregnant? Well, I mean, did you see the competition? I mean, I don’t know. No, that’s gross. Forget I said that. Let’s move on to number two. You got one right. That’s fantastic here. Cool. What was the Minotaur’s real name? He’s not just the Minotaur, folks. He’s got his own name, his given name. Was it A, Asterion, B, Theron, C, Labyrinthus, or D, Kronos? I have a hint if you’d like it. I think this is either A or B because elaborate this means that that couldn’t be it. That’s just not right. Kronos, I know. It’s not Kronos. A or B. Is he a cool guy? Is it Theon? Theron? Or is it Asteron? I’ll go with B because… No. I won’t subject to the hit. So you want to go with B? Uh… I’m going to pick A. A. All right. Here we go. Yes. Yes. Asterion. The Minotaur’s given name was Asterion or Asterius, meaning starry one. The term Minotaur itself is a combination of Minos and Tauros, the bull, essentially meaning bull of Minos. There you go. Learn something new every day, right? Or also, you know, my wife slept with a white bull. That’s also what it means. Yeah. Yeah. That’s Minos Toros Blanco anyway. Next question. Question three. You got two. You’re doing fantastic here. Who designed the labyrinth to contain the Minotaur? Was it a… Hesiphotus, which I’ve said that I like sneezed. Hesiphotus? Daedalus? Icarus? Or Prometheus? All the theses in here. All these theses. The thing is, too, these are all good actual things. They are. I don’t know who A is. I know who Daedalus and Icarus are. And I know who Prometheus is. I think this may be… Again, this is either A or B. Oh, no. Okay. I have a hint. No hints. I refuse. This has to be. This has to be. Oh, man. Did Daedalus make the thing? He was an inventor. Did he make the labyrinth? Or is it A? You could have picked A every single time, right? That goes against the rules. Yeah, it goes against multiple choice. Yeah. There’s rules for that, isn’t there? There’s like a worldwide Congress for multiple choice questions. Yeah. You can’t pick A every time. That’d be insane. I want to pick A, but just because of the rules of multiple choice, I want to say it’s B. Let me go with B. I’ll go with Daedalus. I know he’s an actual inventor. Daedalus. Yes. Let’s see. It’s right. Oh. There’s my sound. Daedalus, the legendary Athenian craftsman living in Crete, crea

    1h 2m
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4.6
out of 5
8 Ratings

About

The strange and humorous happenings in the lives of two US Midwesterners.

Information

  • Creator
    Bob LeMent
  • Years Active
    2012 - 2026
  • Episodes
    196
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    Copyright © Static Radio 2025
  • Show Website
    Static Radio