THE INTERVIEW Why do so many parents end the day feeling like they're getting it wrong, even when they're trying their very best? In this conversation, Kathryn Lovewell and Liz Walker sit down with Andy Baker — bestselling author, behaviour specialist, and host of the Able to Care podcast — to unpack the invisible "scripts" that shape how we judge ourselves and our children. Andy shares how being the victim of violent crime at 16 sent him on a lifelong path into human psychology, and how that journey led him to a simple but powerful belief: understanding people starts with understanding ourselves. Listeners will learn why swapping judgement for curiosity changes everything, how the phrase "be good" often means nothing at all to a child, and why practising empathy for your future self can transform exhausted, reactive moments into calmer ones. This is a warm, honest, and genuinely practical conversation for any parent, carer, or educator ready to question the rules they didn't know they were following. Tune in for a conversation that might just change how you talk to yourself. KEY TAKEAWAYS Catch "should" and "shouldn't" language in your own head and swap it for "it would have been nice if" — this simple shift turns a rigid rule into a preference and instantly reduces frustration toward others. Practice "empathy to your future self" by pausing before reacting and asking how you'll feel about this moment tomorrow, not just how you feel about it right now. Replace vague instructions like "be good" with specific, explicit expectations — a child (like an employee) can't meet a standard that was never actually defined. Treat difficult emotions as data rather than a problem to solve immediately — sadness, guilt, and anger are information about unmet expectations, not proof that something is wrong with you. Build deliberate play, fun, and rest into daily life rather than leaving it to chance, since role-modelling balance teaches children more than any lecture about balance ever could. QUOTES "The opposite to anxiety isn't calm, it's trust." "None of us would want to be judged by our worst moment of who we are as a person, and yet we do it to others all the time." "If you're not okay, they're not okay." "I was really on the surface showing the world I've got my shit together. Underneath, I was that person in the toilet crying." "You are wonderful just the way you are, but that doesn't mean there's not room for improvement." TAKE THE SELF-TALK QUIZ https://bit.ly/RKMSelfTalk HOW TO CONNECT WITH THE GUEST https://www.linkedin.com/in/andy-baker-673a7744/ HOW TO CONNECT WITH YOUR HOSTS https://RaisingKindMindsPodcast.com https://KindMindAcademy.com https://TheBoosterWay.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/KathrynLovewell https://www.linkedin.com/in/LizWalker8 CONNECT WITH RKM ON SOCIALS https://www.facebook.com/RaisingKindMindsPodcast https://www.instagram.com/RaisingKindMindsPodcast https://www.youtube.com/@RaisingKindMindsPodcast https://www.tiktok.com/@RaisingKindMindsPodcast HOST BIOS Kathryn Lovewell is the founder of Kind Mind Academy, an award-winning international speaker and best-selling author specialising in Self-Compassion. A Senior Certified Mindful Self-Compassion Teacher and creator of The Booster Way®, she has spent over a decade helping adults, families, and educators transform self-criticism into confidence and self-trust. Kathryn blends science, storytelling, and humour to make personal growth relatable, and accessible. She’s real, she’s been there, and she’s passionate about helping people stop beating themselves up and start living happier, kinder lives. Grounded, heartfelt, and a little mischievous, Kathryn believes laughter and compassion are equally powerful medicine. Liz Walker is the co-founder of Kind Mind Academy and co-host of The Inner Voice Lab. Known for her warmth, humour, and emotional intelligence, Liz brings genuine humanity to every conversation. With decades of experience in business, personal development and client care, she pairs practical wisdom with deep compassion. Liz doesn’t do hype; she believes real change begins with honesty, kindness, and a good laugh at ourselves now and then. She is passionate about helping people feel seen, safe, and supported as they learn to lead their lives with more self-belief and joy. This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/