Can We Still Have Good Sex When the World Feels Terrible? with Dr. Laurie Mintz What happens to sexual desire when you’re stressed, exhausted, worried about money, overwhelmed by politics—or simply don’t feel turned on anymore by anything? In this episode of Our Pandora’s Box, host Maria Eliades talks with sex psychologist, author, and University of Florida emerita professor Dr. Laurie Mintz about how women can cultivate pleasure and satisfying sex lives even when the world around them doesn’t exactly make it easy. Dr. Mintz is the author of Becoming Cliterate and A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex. She helped popularize the “orgasm gap” to describe the persistent disparity in orgasm rates between women and men during heterosexual sex. On this episode, Dr. Mintz explains why knowing more about women’s pleasure hasn’t necessarily changed what happens in the bedroom, and how deeply ingrained sexual scripts still shape what we think “real sex” is supposed to look like. Maria and Dr. Mintz also talk about responsive desire versus spontaneous desire and why not feeling turned on constantly doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve lost your sex drive. Sometimes desire comes after sexual activity begins rather than before it—and understanding that can completely change how we think about libido in long-term relationships. Maria and Dr. Mintz also discuss the Cornell 7 case. Together, they discuss: How stress, political anxiety, economic worries, depression, and exhaustion can affect sexual desireThe difference between responsive and spontaneous desireWhy losing spontaneous desire doesn’t necessarily mean something is wrong in your relationshipThe orgasm gap and why heterosexual sexual scripts still prioritize penetration and male pleasureWhy the clitoris—and understanding female sexual anatomy—matters for orgasm and sexual satisfactionWhat to do when a doctor dismisses sexual pain, pelvic pain, perimenopause symptoms, or other sexual health concernsWhen pelvic floor physical therapy, sexual medicine, or sex therapy may helpHow pregnancy, lactation, parenting, and exhaustion can affect postpartum sexualityWhy our sexual preferences can change over the course of our livesWhen some women report having their best sexWhat male partners can do to help create better sex for womenHow vibrators, communication, mindfulness, and expanding your definition of sex can increase pleasureWhy making room for pleasure can matter even—and perhaps especially—during frightening or politically difficult times Content note: This episode includes discussion of rape, sexual assault, rape culture, and sexual violence. About Dr. Laurie Mintz Dr. Laurie Mintz is a psychologist, sex therapist, author, speaker, and Professor Emerita of Psychology at the University of Florida. She is the author of Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters—and How to Get It and A Tired Woman’s Guide to Passionate Sex. Her forthcoming book, Pursue Your Pleasure (June 8, 2027), explores how to use self discovery and communication to live your most erotic life both in and out of the bedroom. Our Pandora’s Box is a Pentelic Productions podcast hosted, created, produced, and edited by Maria Eliades. Subscribe to the Our Pandora's Box Substack for episode resources and to continue the conversation.
