A Vow by Wendy CopeI cannot promise never to be angry; I cannot promise always to be kind.You know what you are taking on, my darling – It’s only at the start that love is blind.And yet I’m still the one you want to be withAnd you’re the one for me –of that I’m sure.You are my closest friend, my favorite person,The lover and the home I’ve waited for.I cannot promise that I will deserve youFrom this day on. I hope to pass that test.I love you and I want to make you happy.I promise I will do my very best.Epithalamium - Tom LeonardLet me not to the marriage of true minds admit impedimentShakespeare says - and maybe it is something to do with minds.Or there again, something to do with everything else you can think of; going to the shops, sitting in a bus together, who you want to waken up beside in the morning, And who you want to go to bed with - for the rest of your life.Who you're going to have your most important rows with who you want to share your silences, who you want to shareyour money with, if you have any. Who you want to share your poverty with, if you don't. Who you can share your poverty with, and still get on when there's no fancy stuff to occupy your minds. It's maybe being thirty with somebody, being forty with somebody, being fifty, being sixty, getting used to ways of doing things with the same person, getting used to not doing things with them when you have to go your separate ways to raise the dough for a house. "The trouble with marriage is you have to stop living with each other." All this up at the crack of dawn stuff, out to your separate jobs, who's first home at night, who makes the dinner, if anybody makes it. And all the account business, joint or separate. And the usual list as to who does what, ironing, hoovering, washing the clothes. Who does what. Who's got lousy habits. Who thinks their farts are funny. Who's the most incomprehensible, opaque, wrongheaded pain in the arse you could ever find, and you've found them living with you. But give it an hour. Or a day. And watch out for the wisecracks. There's Chekhov: "If you can't stand loneliness don't get married" and there's no shortage of busted-up couples. You stick your own way. To hell with them. It's not a sentimental thing, it's a serious thing - the most serious thing you'll ever do, if you're doing it properly as you are. Saying it to others, before others, this is who I want,this is where it ends and begins with me. And uniquely so. So here's to you, Stephen and Lucy, standing at that old portal:here's to a good road before you, and a long one, and the two of you walking together happily, down it.The Art Of Marriage by Wilferd PetersonHappiness in marriage is not something that just happens.A good marriage must be created. In marriage the little things are the big things.It is never being too old to hold hands.It is remembering to say “I love you”at least once a day.It is never going to sleep angry.It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through the years.It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.It is standing together facing the world. It is forming a circle of love that gathers the whole family.It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty orsacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.It is not looking for perfection in each other.It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humour.It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow old.It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.It is not only marrying the right partner; it is being the right partner.
