Define with Denise

Denise
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Define with Denise is a podcast about understanding behavior, creating meaningful change, and asking different questions. Hosted by Denise—a behavior analyst, behavior change coach, and educator—this podcast explores why we do what we do and how we can intentionally create lives, relationships, and families that align with our values. Drawing from behavior science, psychology, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and real-life experience, each episode takes one everyday question and explores what's happening beneath the surface. From parenting and relationships to habits, health, resilience, and the patterns we inherit from our families and culture, these conversations are designed to help behavior make sense—and make change feel possible. Growing up in a hardworking Vietnamese immigrant family taught Denise the value of respect, resilience, sacrifice, and showing up for the people you love. Those lessons continue to shape her work today while also inspiring the questions many of us are asking: What do we carry forward? What are we ready to redefine? Whether you're raising children, hoping to become a parent one day, working with kids, supporting families, or simply trying to understand yourself a little better, you'll find thoughtful conversations, practical tools, and a fresh perspective grounded in both science and compassion. My hope isn't that you leave with all the answers. It's that you leave asking different questions. Because different questions lead to different conversations. And different conversations create the opportunity for change. Behavior always makes sense—we just have to understand the story it's telling.

Episodes

  1. 2d ago

    How to Do It Scared...

    Fear has a way of convincing us that we need to feel ready before we take the next step. Ready to have the conversation. Ready to apply for the job. Ready to start therapy. Ready to ask for help. Ready to make the change. But what if that's never how change actually works? In today's episode, I'm sharing one of the biggest mindset shifts I've had after navigating panic attacks, OCD, anxiety, and one of the hardest seasons of my life. I realized I wasn't actually trying to learn how to be brave. I was trying to stop feeling afraid. And those are two very different things. Together, we'll explore:  Why fear isn't always the problem  What your fear might actually be trying to protect  The difference between danger and discomfort  Three questions to ask yourself when fear shows up  How to stop waiting for confidence before taking action Whether you're navigating anxiety, a career change, relationships, health, or simply trying to become a version of yourself you've never met before, I hope this episode reminds you that courage isn't the absence of fear. Sometimes it's simply choosing your values over your comfort. This week's DEFINE Challenge The next time fear shows up, pause and finish this sentence: "I'm afraid because I care about..."Notice what comes up. You might realize your fear isn't trying to stop you. It might just be pointing toward something that matters. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love if you shared it with someone who could use the reminder that they don't have to wait until they're fearless to start living. Thank you for being here. Stay curious. Stay kind. And keep defining a life that's meaningf Thank you for listening to DEFINE with Denise. My hope isn't that you leave with all the answers. It's that you leave asking different questions. Because different questions lead to different conversations. And different conversations create the opportunity for change. Behavior always makes sense—we just have to understand the story it's telling. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who could use this conversation. Follow along for more:  Instagram: @definewithdenise Website: definetogether.comNew episodes every Tuesday.

  2. Jul 21

    Who Gets to Define Your Life?

    Over the last few episodes, we've explored why behavior change is hard, why our patterns make sense, and why knowing what to do isn't always enough. But this week, I wanted to press pause and share something a little more personal. In this episode, I'm sharing the story behind DEFINE—how growing up in a Vietnamese immigrant family, discovering behavior analysis, navigating my own mental health journey, and learning to redefine my life shaped the work I do today. As a behavior analyst, I spend my days helping people understand behavior. But somewhere along the way, define became about much more than observable behavior or clinical definitions. It became about identity. Because before we can change our behavior, we often have to ask a deeper question: Who has been defining my life... and do I still want that definition? Whether those definitions came from our family, culture, past experiences, fears, or even our own minds, we all have the opportunity to pause, get curious, and decide what we want to carry forward. Whether you're a parent, clinician, helper, athlete, or simply someone navigating a new season of life, I hope this episode helps you get to know me a little better—but even more importantly, I hope it reminds you that you don't have to live by every definition you've been given. You have permission to redefine yourself. Thank you for listening to DEFINE with Denise. My hope isn't that you leave with all the answers. It's that you leave asking different questions. Because different questions lead to different conversations. And different conversations create the opportunity for change. Behavior always makes sense—we just have to understand the story it's telling. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who could use this conversation. Follow along for more:  Instagram: @definewithdenise Website: definetogether.comNew episodes every Tuesday.

  3. Jul 14

    Your Patterns Aren't Your Fault. But Your Response Is Your Responsibility.

    Have you ever caught yourself repeating a pattern you fully understand... and thought, I literally know better than this? You can identify your child's triggers. See when your client is starting to avoid. Tell your friend exactly why they keep going back to the same situation. But then you stay up scrolling when you're exhausted. Say yes when you mean no. Avoid the email that's been on three different to-do lists. Or hear your childhood come flying out of your mouth during one stressful Tuesday. In this episode of Define with Denise, we're going underneath the patterns we keep trying to stop. Because understanding where a behavior came from isn't about excusing it. And responsibility doesn't have to mean blame or shame. I define responsibility as our ability to respond to the situation. We'll explore why behaviors that once protected us can become costly, how relief and avoidance quietly reinforce our patterns, why helpers can be incredibly skilled at understanding everyone else's behavior while missing their own, and how behavior science and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help us create space to respond differently. This week's questions: What makes this pattern make sense? What is this behavior doing for me right now? What response is available to me in this moment? And of the responses available to me... which one moves me closer to who I want to be? Your patterns may not be your fault. But once you notice them, you have an opportunity to respond. Notice. Understand. Respond. Practice. New episodes of Define with Denise every Tuesday.  Thank you for listening to DEFINE with Denise. My hope isn't that you leave with all the answers. It's that you leave asking different questions. Because different questions lead to different conversations. And different conversations create the opportunity for change. Behavior always makes sense—we just have to understand the story it's telling. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who could use this conversation. Follow along for more:  Instagram: @definewithdenise Website: definetogether.comNew episodes every Tuesday.

  4. Jul 7

    Why Do We Know What to Do... But Still Struggle to Do It?

    If Knowing Was Enough, Change Would Be Easy Why We Know What to Do... But Still Struggle to Do It Have you ever found yourself saying... "I'll start Monday." "This time will be different." "I know what I need to do... so why can't I seem to do it?" If you've ever felt the gap between knowing and doing, you're not alone. In the first official episode of DEFINE, we're exploring one of the biggest misconceptions about behavior change: the belief that if we just had more information, we'd finally change. Drawing from behavior science, psychology, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and real-life experiences, we'll unpack why change is so much more than willpower—and why understanding behavior with curiosity, rather than judgment, can completely change the way we see ourselves and others. In this episode, we'll explore:  Why knowing isn't the hardest part of change.  The biggest myth about behavior change.  How our childhood, culture, and experiences shape the patterns we carry into adulthood.  Why behavior always makes sense—and what to ask instead of, "What's wrong with me?"  One simple question you can start asking today to create meaningful change. Whether you're raising children, hoping to become a parent one day, working with kids, supporting families, or simply trying to understand yourself a little better, this conversation is for you. This week's reflection Before trying to change a behavior, pause and ask yourself: "What makes this behavior make sense?" Sometimes meaningful change doesn't begin with finding the right answer. It begins with asking a different question. Thank you for listening to DEFINE with Denise. My hope isn't that you leave with all the answers. It's that you leave asking different questions. Because different questions lead to different conversations. And different conversations create the opportunity for change. Behavior always makes sense—we just have to understand the story it's telling. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who could use this conversation. Follow along for more:  Instagram: @definewithdenise Website: definetogether.comNew episodes every Tuesday.

    Why Do We Know What to Do... But Still Struggle to Do It?

  5. Season 1, Episode 1 Trailer

    Start Here: Welcome to DEFINE

    Welcome to DEFINE. If you've ever wondered why change feels so hard, why we repeat patterns we promised we'd never repeat, or how to create meaningful change without losing the values that matter most, you're in the right place. In this short introduction, I share why I created DEFINE, what you can expect from the podcast, and the questions we'll be exploring together each week. Drawing from behavior science, psychology, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and years of working with children, families, and adults, DEFINE is about more than understanding behavior—it's about learning how to intentionally change it. Some episodes will focus on parenting. Others will explore relationships, habits, emotional regulation, health, resilience, and the patterns we inherit from our families and culture. Whether you're raising children, hoping to become a parent one day, working with kids, supporting families, or simply trying to understand yourself a little better, this podcast is for you. My hope isn't that you leave with all the answers. It's that you leave asking different questions. Because different questions lead to different conversations. And different conversations create the opportunity for change. New episodes every Tuesday. Helping behavior make sense—and change feel possible. Follow DEFINE wherever you listen to podcasts so you never miss a conversation. Topics we'll explore:  Behavior Change  Psychology  Behavior Science  ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)  Parenting  Emotional Regulation  Habits  Relationships  Resilience  Health & Wellness  Child Development  Personal Growth Thank you for listening to DEFINE with Denise. My hope isn't that you leave with all the answers. It's that you leave asking different questions. Because different questions lead to different conversations. And different conversations create the opportunity for change. Behavior always makes sense—we just have to understand the story it's telling. If this episode resonated with you, I'd love for you to follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who could use this conversation. Follow along for more:  Instagram: @definewithdenise Website: definetogether.comNew episodes every Tuesday.

    Start Here: Welcome to DEFINE

Trailer

About

Define with Denise is a podcast about understanding behavior, creating meaningful change, and asking different questions. Hosted by Denise—a behavior analyst, behavior change coach, and educator—this podcast explores why we do what we do and how we can intentionally create lives, relationships, and families that align with our values. Drawing from behavior science, psychology, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and real-life experience, each episode takes one everyday question and explores what's happening beneath the surface. From parenting and relationships to habits, health, resilience, and the patterns we inherit from our families and culture, these conversations are designed to help behavior make sense—and make change feel possible. Growing up in a hardworking Vietnamese immigrant family taught Denise the value of respect, resilience, sacrifice, and showing up for the people you love. Those lessons continue to shape her work today while also inspiring the questions many of us are asking: What do we carry forward? What are we ready to redefine? Whether you're raising children, hoping to become a parent one day, working with kids, supporting families, or simply trying to understand yourself a little better, you'll find thoughtful conversations, practical tools, and a fresh perspective grounded in both science and compassion. My hope isn't that you leave with all the answers. It's that you leave asking different questions. Because different questions lead to different conversations. And different conversations create the opportunity for change. Behavior always makes sense—we just have to understand the story it's telling.

Information

  • Creator
    Denise
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    5
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 © 2026 DEFINE Together
  • Show Website
    Define with Denise