Recovery: Unfiltered with Nick and Will

Will Cashman
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Recovery: Unfiltered with Nick and Will is a raw, honest podcast about addiction, recovery, mental health, and the conversations people are often afraid to have out loud. Hosted by Nick Fantozzi and Will Cashman, each episode brings real experience, clinical perspective, and direct conversation into topics like substance use, shame, relapse, chemsex, grief, relationships, recovery culture, LGBTQIA+ identity, and what it actually takes to rebuild a life. It's a bit unfiltered, but our experience has shown that recovery itself is unfiltered.  Whether you are in recovery, love someone who is, work in the field, or are still trying to figure out where you fit, this podcast is a space for real conversation and connection. If you would like to be a guest, have a topic you think should be discussed, or any questions, email: therecoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com

  1. 7h ago

    Episode 20: HIV, Stigma, Sobriety and Hope | Andrew Liam Oakes

    HIV advocate Andrew Liam Oakes joins Will for an open and deeply personal conversation about receiving an HIV diagnosis, confronting stigma, rebuilding his life, and celebrating three years of sobriety. Andrew shares what happened when he learned he was HIV-positive on Christmas Day and how the loss of family support affected his mental health. He speaks honestly about using alcohol and drugs to numb his pain, surviving a suicide attempt on his 30th birthday, and making the decision to pursue a different life. Together, Andrew and Will discuss the meaning of U=U, undetectable equals untransmittable, the importance of regular HIV testing, and the shame people still experience surrounding sexual health. Andrew also describes his advocacy work with George House Trust, his training in integrative psychotherapy, and his plans to support people living with HIV and members of the queer community through his private practice. Andrew also introduces his forthcoming book, Unbreakable: Rising with HIV, A Journey of Resilience, Determination and Triumph, and offers a message of courage, community, and hope to anyone facing a new diagnosis or feeling alone. Connect with Andrew Liam Oakes: Instagram: instagram.com/andrewliamoakes Facebook: facebook.com/andrew.liam.944 Learn more about George House Trust: ght.org.uk Content advisory: This episode includes discussions of HIV, sexual health, family rejection, alcohol and drug use, suicidal thoughts, and a suicide attempt. Listener discretion is advised. Recovery Unfiltered with Nick and Will is provided for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute clinical advice, counseling, diagnosis, or treatment. Want to be a guest? Email therecoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com. Follow Recovery: Unfiltered with Nick and Will on Facebook: facebook.com/therecoveryunfilteredpodcast Podcast merchandise: colorsacrossthesky.printful.me

    Episode 20: HIV, Stigma, Sobriety and Hope | Andrew Liam Oakes

  2. 2d ago

    Episode 19: Chemsex Recovery Round Two | Dallas Bragg

    In Episode 19, Nick Fantozzi and Will Cashman welcome Dallas Bragg, a recovery coach and advocate specializing in sexualized methamphetamine use among gay, bisexual, and other men who have sex with men. Dallas shares his experience of coming out later in life, searching for belonging, rapidly losing stability after meth entered his life, and encountering treatment systems that struggled to address the connection between substance use, sex, shame, and identity. Together, Dallas, Nick, and Will examine the needs that can exist beneath the behavior, including belonging, validation, intimacy, escape, and relief from rejection or internalized stigma. They discuss how meth and sex can become connected in the brain, how smartphones and dating apps can provide immediate access to old patterns, and how secrecy can allow those patterns to continue. Dallas offers practical guidance on telling someone, limiting digital access, building a specific accountability team, preparing for high-risk periods, and developing a clear vision for life in recovery. The conversation also explores learning how to experience sexuality without substances. Dallas discusses reconnecting with the body, challenging beliefs about sober sex, communicating boundaries, rebuilding intimacy, and grieving the subculture, rituals, hiding places, and identity someone may leave behind. Nick and Will share candid reflections from their own experiences with triggers, relationships, fear, shame, and finding connection through honesty. Follow Dallas Bragg on Facebook! https://www.facebook.com/drdallasbragg For more information on Dallas Bragg, visit https://www.recoveryalchemy.org/ This is an explicit and deeply personal conversation about recovery, sexuality, identity, and the importance of creating support that understands the full experience. Content advisory: This episode includes explicit discussions of methamphetamine use, sexual behavior, pornography, stigma, and recovery. Listener discretion is advised. Recovery: Unfiltered with Nick and Will is provided for entertainment purposes only and does not constitute clinical advice, counseling, diagnosis, or treatment. Want to be a guest? Send an email to therecoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com Follow Recovery Unfiltered with Nick and Will on Facebook! facebook.com/therecoveryunfilteredpodcast For Podcast Merch: https://colorsacrossthesky.printful.me/

  3. 4d ago

    Episode 18: Recovery in the Courts | Judge Joy Malek-Oldfield

    What happens when accountability, treatment, and community support come together inside the courtroom? In this episode of Recovery: Unfiltered with Nick and Will, Nick Fantozzi and Will Cashman sit down with the Honorable Judge Joy Malek Oldfield of the Summit County Court of Common Pleas. Judge Joy presides over the Turning Point Program, Summit County’s felony drug court, and has devoted much of her judicial career to advancing recovery-focused approaches within the criminal justice system. Judge Joy explains why participating in drug court is far from an “easy way out.” The program combines intensive supervision and meaningful accountability with substance use treatment, random drug testing, peer support, mental health care, regular court appearances, and assistance with education, employment, housing, and other areas of life. The conversation explores individualized care, trauma, stages of change, relapse risk, recovery housing, employment barriers, and the need to meet each person where they are. Nick and Will also share their experiences with court involvement, treatment, and rebuilding their lives after addiction. Together, they discuss how recovery-focused courts can improve public safety, reduce recidivism, strengthen communities, and give people an opportunity to build lives they are proud of. Judge Joy also shares the successes and losses that have shaped her work, the importance of strong community partnerships, and why every person who enters her courtroom deserves to feel seen and heard. She closes the conversation with a powerful message for anyone facing a difficult moment: give yourself 24 hours. Feelings can change, and allowing time before making a life-altering decision may create the space needed to choose differently. This episode includes conversations about substance use, overdose, incarceration, trauma, grief, and recovery. Listener discretion is advised. Learn more about the Turning Point Program: https://www.summitcpcourt.net/adult-probation/specialty-supervision-units/the-turning-point-program/ Follow Judge Joy Malek Oldfield on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/judgejoyoldfield Read Judge Joy Malek Oldfield’s official judicial profile: https://www.summitcpcourt.net/judges/honorable-judge-joy-malek-oldfield/ Recovery: Unfiltered with Nick and Will is intended for entertainment purposes only. The conversations shared on this podcast should not be considered clinical, medical, mental health, substance use treatment, or legal advice. This podcast does not provide counseling or establish a professional relationship. Guest Inquiries: therecoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com Follow us on Facebook! facebook.com/therecoveryunfilteredpodcast

    Episode 18: Recovery in the Courts | Judge Joy Malek-Oldfield

  4. Sep 11

    Episode 17: SoberFest Ohio 2026 Recap | Nick and Will Check In

    In Episode 17 of Recovery Unfiltered with Nick and Will, we’re coming to you live from Nick’s mom’s basement and catching you up on an absolutely wild weekend. We’re talking about our questionable motel, the Carrabba’s bread we never received, recording with Judge Joy Malek Oldfield and Dallas Bragg, and taking the podcast and Colors Across The Sky to Soberfest Ohio 2026. Soberfest gave us the chance to meet listeners, hear incredible stories, and connect with people at every stage of recovery. Some had years behind them. Others had three days or even twelve hours. Those conversations reminded us why we keep showing up, sharing our stories, and creating space for people to feel seen. Then things get a little heavier during our recovery check-in. Will talks openly about accountability, depression, obsessive thinking, beating himself up, and learning how to face difficult consequences while continuing to move forward. Nick shares how his demanding work schedule has affected his meeting attendance and why that change has made him nervous. That leads us into a very unfiltered conversation about the many pathways to recovery. Meetings, sponsorship, the Steps, peer support, faith, sober living, community, or simply picking up the phone when life gets heavy can all play a role. Recovery looks different for everyone, and whatever helps you keep moving forward deserves room in the conversation. We also preview our upcoming episodes, talk about the incredible guests joining us, and look ahead to Blue Water Recovery Outreach Center’s Recovery Fest in Port Huron, Michigan. And since some of you have already chosen a favorite host, our official Team Will and Team Nick T-shirts are available now! Pick your team, wear it proudly, and prepare to defend your decision. Grab yours at https://colorsacrossthesky.printful.me/. This episode is funny, emotional, scattered, honest, and completely unfiltered. Come hang out with us, laugh at the chaos, and join a conversation about what recovery looks like in real life. What does recovery look like for you today? Content note: This episode includes mature language and discussions of addiction, depression, and suicide loss. Follow Recovery Unfiltered with Nick and Will on Facebook! www.facebook.com/therecoveryunfilteredpodcast Want to be a guest on the show? therecoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com Recovery Unfiltered with Nick and Will is presented by Colors Across The Sky LLC : www.colorsacrossthesky.com/podcast

  5. Sep 4

    The Other Side: The Parent's Perspective | Ray and Nancy Fantozzi

    In Episode 15 of Recovery: Unfiltered with Nick and Will, Nick’s parents, Ray and Nancy Fantozzi, join the conversation for an honest look at addiction through the eyes of the family members who lived beside it. Ray and Nancy remember Nick as a happy, strong child before describing the secrecy, unusual behavior, disappearances, damaged trust, and frightening phone calls that slowly revealed something deeper was happening. They speak openly about denial, the constant fear that Nick might be dead or in jail, and the painful realization that they could support him without controlling when he chose recovery. The conversation explores enabling, boundaries, treatment attempts, rebuilding trust, and the years addiction took from their family. When Nick asks what his addiction personally cost them, the answer is simple and devastating: time. That truth opens a larger discussion about missed holidays, family photographs, broken relationships, personal responsibility, and learning to appreciate the time recovery has returned. Through painful memories, unexpected humor, and genuine love, Ray and Nancy offer a message for parents who may feel frightened, isolated, or unsure where to turn. Family members need support, education, and recovery too. Content note: This episode contains frank discussions of substance use, overdose risk, family trauma, and addiction. Follow Recovery: Unfiltered with Nick and Will: https://facebook.com/therecoveryunfilteredpodcast Guest inquiries: therecoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com Recovery: Unfiltered with Nick and Will is intended to inform, educate, uplift, and share lived experiences. It does not provide clinical advice or counseling. If you or someone you know needs immediate emotional support, call or text 988. For treatment information and referrals, contact the SAMHSA National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357) or visit https://findtreatment.gov.

    The Other Side: The Parent's Perspective | Ray and Nancy Fantozzi

  6. Aug 31

    Waking Up Free - Music, Truth, and Recovery | Benjamin Lerner

    In Episode 14 of Recovery: Unfiltered with Nick and Will, we sit down with Benjamin Lerner, a father, writer, classical pianist, recovery musician, and person in long-term recovery since June 13, 2016. As the great-grandson of legendary songwriter Irving Berlin, Benjamin grew up surrounded by music, words, privilege, and expectation. Addiction eventually carried him from private schools and promising opportunities into opioid dependence, crack cocaine use, needles, withdrawal, and the daily desperation of trying to avoid getting sick. He shares how his identity became intertwined with substances and how his music once helped him maintain a fictional version of his life. Recovery forced Benjamin’s music to become honest. He opens up about his early connection with Mac Miller, the impact of Mac’s death, and the decision to combine classical piano with raw lyrics about addiction and recovery. That creative risk eventually led him to a Vermont recording studio, professional opportunities, and a platform capable of reaching people who may still be searching for a way out. The conversation also explores privilege, rebuilding trust with family, fatherhood, faith, harm reduction, medication-assisted treatment, multiple pathways of recovery, and the proposed restrictions surrounding 7-OH. Benjamin offers his perspective on the risks of abruptly removing a substance from people who have developed dependence without creating accessible treatment and support. Above everything, this episode is about freedom. As Benjamin puts it, recovery is “waking up free.” He closes with a powerful message for anyone who feels trapped by heroin, fentanyl, crack cocaine, 7-OH, alcohol, or another substance: the fear, discomfort, guilt, and shame you’re carrying can become fuel for the life ahead of you. You are already enough, and you have what it takes. Learn more about Benjamin Lerner: https://benjaminlerner.com/ Follow Recovery: Unfiltered with Nick and Will on Facebook: https://facebook.com/therecoveryunfilteredpodcast Interested in joining us as a guest? Email: therecoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com If you or someone you know is struggling with substance use, SAMHSA’s National Helpline provides free, confidential treatment information and referrals 24 hours a day at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). You can also visit https://findtreatment.gov. If you are experiencing a mental health, suicide, or substance-use crisis, call or text 988 to connect with the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Support is available 24/7. Content note: This episode contains candid discussions of substance use, overdose, withdrawal, death, and recovery.

    Waking Up Free - Music, Truth, and Recovery | Benjamin Lerner

  7. Aug 28 ·  Bonus

    Bonus Episode: Depression | Will Cashman

    In this solo bonus episode of Recovery: Unfiltered with Nick and Will, Will Cashman speaks openly about the depressive episode that has kept him away from the morning videos he once loved making. For more than three weeks, depression has affected Will’s motivation, creativity, sleep, and ability to complete work that matters deeply to him. It tells him his videos have no value, his writing isn’t good enough, and the podcast episodes waiting to be edited aren’t worth finishing. Those thoughts then follow him into his work on the podcast and his writing collaboration with Dr. Nicole Labor. Will also examines the amount he has taken on since getting clean, including releasing Colors Across the Sky, launching Recovery: Unfiltered, working in recovery advocacy, planning events, and beginning another book project. These were dreams he intentionally created for himself, but bringing several of them to life at once has carried a physical and emotional cost. The conversation explores burnout, perfectionism, the tendency to measure recovery through productivity, and Will’s fear that sitting still means becoming complacent. He also discusses severe sleep disruption, nightmares, becoming afraid to fall asleep, and the cycle of exhaustion that made his depression even harder to manage. This is an honest check-in from the middle of depression. Will shares what he is learning about rest, asking for help, adjusting his pace, protecting the dreams he has built, and continuing to move forward without allowing a difficult season to become a permanent home. This episode includes discussions of depression, nightmares, negative self-talk, and suicide. Please listen with care. The experiences and opinions shared on this podcast are intended to inform, encourage conversation, and help others feel less alone. They aren’t a substitute for professional medical or mental health care. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis in the United States, call or text 988. If there is immediate danger, contact emergency services or go to the nearest emergency department.

  8. Aug 28

    Am I Allowed to Move On? | Christina Sophia Ramirez

    Welcome to Episode 13 of Recovery: Unfiltered with Nick and Will. This episode asks a question many of us carry long after the relationship has ended, the substance is gone, or the hardest part appears to be over: Am I allowed to move on? Joining us is Christina Sophia Ramirez, a photographer, former speech-language pathologist, creator of the Rage Project, and the photographer behind the cover of Colors Across the Sky: A Journey of Hope. Together, we talk about guilt, grief, identity, codependency, neurodivergence, relationships, recovery, and what it takes to finally release the weight we’ve been pushing uphill. We explore how anger can be expressed safely, how love can exist from a distance, and how moving forward can make room for something meaningful to grow from what we leave behind. This episode includes open discussions of substance use, trauma, suicide, disability, and loss. Please listen with care. The experiences and opinions shared on this podcast are intended to inform, educate, and encourage conversation. They aren’t a substitute for professional medical or mental health advice. If you or someone you know is experiencing a mental health crisis, call or text 988 in the United States. Find Christina on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ramichristina Follow Recovery Unfiltered with Nick and Will! www.facebook.com/therecoveryunfilteredpodcast Would you like to be a guest on the show? therecoveryunfilteredpodcast For Sponsorship Opportunities, visit https://www.colorsacrossthesky.com/sponsor-recovery-unfiltered

    Am I Allowed to Move On? | Christina Sophia Ramirez
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About

Recovery: Unfiltered with Nick and Will is a raw, honest podcast about addiction, recovery, mental health, and the conversations people are often afraid to have out loud. Hosted by Nick Fantozzi and Will Cashman, each episode brings real experience, clinical perspective, and direct conversation into topics like substance use, shame, relapse, chemsex, grief, relationships, recovery culture, LGBTQIA+ identity, and what it actually takes to rebuild a life. It's a bit unfiltered, but our experience has shown that recovery itself is unfiltered.  Whether you are in recovery, love someone who is, work in the field, or are still trying to figure out where you fit, this podcast is a space for real conversation and connection. If you would like to be a guest, have a topic you think should be discussed, or any questions, email: therecoveryunfilteredpodcast@gmail.com

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