Aging Parent Podcast

Valerie Upham
  • 5.0 (3)
  • Education

If you're raising kids, building a career, and suddenly managing doctor appointments, finances, or hard conversations with your parents, this podcast is for you. I'm Valerie Upham, and this is The Aging Parent Podcast. This show is for the sandwich generation, the sons and daughters who didn't plan on becoming caregivers, but stepped into the role anyway. You're carrying responsibility, love, pressure, and decisions that matter more than anyone prepared you for. I know this season personally. I've supported a parent through dementia. I've walked alongside my father through lung cancer, and both through hospice. I've lived in the tension between relationships and responsibilities. Caring for your parents doesn't come with a roadmap. Even with the best intentions, the choices can feel heavy because they affect the people that you love most. You may not know which decisions need to happen first. You may be feeling pulled between your parents' wishes and living your own life. You may be navigating siblings and doctors without a clear plan, quietly wondering if you're honoring your parents the right way while trying to protect the relationship. What you want is steadiness, clarity instead of second-guessing, confidence instead of guilt, a way forward that supports your parents without losing yourself. Each week, you'll hear solo episodes and thoughtful interviews with estate planning and elder law attorneys, financial planners, memory care leaders, healthcare professionals, and people who have walked this road themselves. You'll gain clarity on what needs attention and when. You'll learn language for conversations that preserve dignity and trust. You'll understand care and housing options before urgency forces decisions, and you'll be reminded that uncertainty does not mean that you're doing it wrong. New episodes will drop weekly, so whenever new questions surface, you have a place to return. Share this with a sibling or a friend who needs it, and join me on The Aging Parent Podcast!

  1. 5d ago

    Be a Voice for Your Family

    Title: What to Do When You're Worried About Your Parent's Care in a Senior Living Facility | Ep. 19 Description: When something feels off with your parent's care in an assisted living, memory care, or skilled nursing facility — and you don't know who to call — there's a free resource you may not know exists: an ombudsman. In this episode, Tracy Sherman, a volunteer ombudsman with 10 years of experience in San Diego County, explains what ombudsmen do, how they advocate for residents' rights, and when families should reach out. We cover the most common complaints in senior living, how to research facilities before moving in, how ombudsmen mediate family conflicts, real stories of residents she's helped, and why this program desperately needs more volunteers. If your parent is in a licensed senior living community — or soon will be — this episode will help you understand your rights, the facility's obligations, and the advocate who's already on your side. In this episode: What an ombudsman is and how the program started The training and commitment required to become one How ombudsmen handle complaints — from minor to serious What to look for when researching and visiting facilities Why you should know your ombudsman before you need them A real story of fighting to get a resident back home How to volunteer and give back   Connect With Aging Parent Network Not sure who you need to call or where to begin? Aging Parent Network can help connect you with the right professional for your family's circumstances. 📞 858-727-9333 📧 info@agingparentnetwork.com If you have aging parents or are a caregiver, this episode gives you the tools to have an important conversation before a scam happens — not after. 🔔 Subscribe for more conversations on navigating aging, caregiving, and family decisions.

  2. Sep 29

    Every Scam Has a Tell — Here's How to Spot It Before It's Too Late

    Scams don't just happen to gullible people. They happen to smart people — by design. Toby is 82. She's a former journalist, a leader in her friend group, and one of the sharpest people her host knows. And she still got scammed out of $4,500 in a single afternoon. It started with a fake Apple security alert on her computer. An hour later, she was on the phone with someone claiming to be the FBI, being told her account had been linked to child pornography. By 3 PM, she was standing in Home Depot buying gift cards — while the scammer stayed on the line the entire time. What saved her from losing far more was her son Walt, who was on vacation in Montana when his phone started blowing up with credit card alerts. He had quietly set up transaction notifications on every one of his parents' cards — and that $4,500 loss could have been $40,000 without those alerts. In this episode: * Toby walks through the scam in real time — how the emotional manipulation worked, the moments she could have been saved, and why she's sharing her story publicly * Walt breaks down the financial safety measures he put in place — credit card alerts, debit card warnings, and the conversation he had with his parents to get access * The "tell" of every scam: Pretend → Problem → Pressure → Payment * The 24-hour rule: the single most powerful protection against scams * Why you should never use a debit card for online transactions * How AI is making IRS phishing scams look authentic * What to do the moment you realize you've been scammed — and why reporting it matters even when it feels embarrassing If you have aging parents, this episode is your playbook for the conversation you need to have before the phone rings. Connect With Aging Parent Network Not sure who you need to call or where to begin? Aging Parent Network can help connect you with the right professional for your family's circumstances. 📞 858-727-9333 📧 info@agingparentnetwork.com If you have aging parents or are a caregiver, this episode gives you the tools to have an important conversation before a scam happens — not after. 🔔 Subscribe for more conversations on navigating aging, caregiving, and family decisions. 0:00 - Scams Happen to Smart People 2:12 - It Started With a Fake Apple Alert 4:00 - "The FBI" Gets Involved 7:03 - How the Scammer Became Her "Savior" 8:53 - Buying Gift Cards at Home Depot 11:18 - "Something Is Way Wrong Here" 14:10 - Toby Hangs Up and Calls Her Family 16:06 - How Much Was Actually Lost 16:29 - Walt Gets the First Alert 19:48 - "I Thought the Worst Had Happened to My Mom" 20:19 - Walt Starts Shutting Down Every Card 22:06 - How Walt Set Up Credit Card Alerts 24:53 - How the Credit Card Companies Responded 29:55 - Every Scam Has a Tell: Pretend → Problem → Pressure → Payment 31:24 - How AI Is Making Scams Harder to Spot 33:23 - How to Start the Financial Conversation With Your Parents 38:14 - New Precautions: IRS Phishing & a Family Game Plan 46:10 - What to Do the Moment You Realize You've Been Scammed 47:39 - Why Toby Decided to Share Her Story 49:14 - The 24-Hour Rule: The Single Best Protection 52:03 - Why You Should Never Use a Debit Card

  3. Sep 22

    The Most Important 40 Minutes To Protect Yourself From Scams

    Protecting Seniors from Scams: Steps and Stories Every 4 seconds, someone is being scammed in the US. In this episode of The Aging Parent Podcast, host Valerie Upham sits down again with IT consultant and scam education expert Matt Carl to break down exactly how scammers target older adults — and what families can do to stop them. We open with a real story: a man had his investment account open on his computer when scammers called pretending to be his fraud department. They convinced him to grant remote access, triggered a fake "Windows update" to freeze his screen, and wired $250,000 out of his account — untraceable and gone. From there, Matt walks through what you should do in the first 10 minutes after being scammed, how to protect passwords with two-factor authentication, why embarrassment keeps victims silent, and how AI is supercharging scams with cloned voices and fake videos. You'll also learn the 3-second email rule, the four-part anatomy of every scam (Pretend, Problem, Pressure, Payment), the difference between phishing, fishing, and smishing, the hidden risks of smart home devices, the latest  cloud storage scams making the rounds, and what NOT to do after you've been scammed. If you're caring for an aging parent, this conversation is essential. Awareness is the only defense that works — share this with someone you love. Connect With Today's Guest Matt Karl sdpcmedics@gmail.com   Connect With Aging Parent Network Not sure who you need to call or where to begin? Aging Parent Network can help connect you with the right professional for your family's circumstances. 📞 858-727-9333 📧 info@agingparentnetwork.com If you have aging parents or are a caregiver, this episode gives you the tools to have an important conversation before a scam happens — not after. 🔔 Subscribe for more conversations on navigating aging, caregiving, and family decisions.   0:00 The $250,000 Scam (Cold Open) 0:42 Introduction & Welcome Back 1:36 The First 10 Minutes After Being Scammed 3:59 The $250,000 Investment Account Scam Story 6:53 Protecting Passwords & Two-Factor Authentication 8:46 Overcoming Embarrassment & Talking About It 15:01 How AI Is Supercharging Scams 18:13 The 3-Second Email Rule 21:15 The Anatomy of a Scam: Pretend, Problem, Pressure, Payment 27:25 Phishing, Vishing & Smishing Explained 30:30 Smart Devices & Family Safety Risks 32:58 Evite Scams & the Latest Trends 34:55 Password Managers & Passkeys 38:05 What NOT to Do After Being Scammed

  4. Sep 15

    The AI Scam Epidemic Targeting Elderly Parents — What Every Family Needs to Know

    AI Scams Are Stealing $120 BILLION a Year — How to Protect Your Aging Parents Description: AI is fueling a massive rise in scams targeting seniors — and families are losing more money than ever before, an estimated $120 billion a year. In this episode of The Aging Parent Podcast, host sits down with fraud prevention expert Matt Carl to break down exactly how scammers operate and how you can protect your loved ones. We cover: * Why scammers are targeting seniors specifically, and why 80% of victims are over 60 * How AI voice cloning is used to impersonate grandchildren and family members * The psychology behind scam calls, texts, and computer pop-ups — and why "doing nothing" is often the safest response * Red flags in phone calls, QR codes, gift card requests, and text messages * How banks are stepping in to flag suspicious transactions  * Practical steps families can take today: call blocking, bank alerts, the Do Not Call Registry, and having the "it's okay to hang up" conversation with your parents If you have aging parents or are a caregiver, this episode gives you the tools to have an important conversation before a scam happens — not after. Connect With Today's Guest Matt Karl sdpcmedics@gmail.com Connect With Aging Parent Network Not sure who you need to call or where to begin? Aging Parent Network can help connect you with the right professional for your family's circumstances. 📞 858-727-9333 📧 info@agingparentnetwork.com If you're helping an aging parent sort through decades of belongings or plan a move, don't wait until it becomes overwhelming. Contact Aging Parent Network at 858-727-9333 to talk through your circumstances and get connected with the right professional. And if this episode could help another family, share it with them, subscribe to the Aging Parent Podcast, and follow for more conversations about helping aging parents and their families make informed decisions. 🔔 Subscribe for more conversations on navigating aging, caregiving, and family decisions.

  5. Sep 10

    Finding Hidden Treasures in Clutter | Episode 15

    Episode 15 | Finding Hidden Treasures in Clutter: What Professional Organizers Discover When Downsizing a Home Downsizing an aging parent's home isn't just about sorting boxes—it's about navigating decades of memories, family dynamics, and the emotional weight tied to everyday belongings. In Episode 15 of the Aging Parent Podcast, Valerie Upham sits down with Sherri Gengel of Be Organizing to talk about what really happens when families face the "what do we do with all of this stuff?" question. Sherri shares how her team works elbow-to-elbow with seniors to sort through decades of belongings—from rock collections and china sets to old paperwork—while helping them decide what to keep based on what truly brings them joy, not just what they think they should keep. One of the most fascinating parts of the conversation is how professional organizers use tools like color-coded stickers to help multiple siblings claim items without conflict, and how they navigate family dynamics when relationships are strained. Because when someone downsizes, they're not just getting rid of things. They're deciding what memories are worth carrying forward. In This Conversation, We Cover What a professional home organizer actually does (and doesn't do) How to approach a parent about downsizing without triggering resistance Why space planning should come before deciding what to keep How to help someone decide between an item and the memory behind it What to do with inherited furniture, photographs, and sentimental collections How family dynamics and sibling relationships affect the organizing process Why storage units are rarely the right long-term solution The "80/20 rule" for closets and how to apply it What paperwork you actually need to keep (and for how long) How estate sales, donations, and online marketplaces fit into the process The difference between an organizer and a traditional senior move manager Why starting early—even before a parent is ready—makes the process easier Sherri's advice throughout the episode is simple but powerful: meet people where they are, focus on the story behind the item rather than the item itself, and remember that the goal isn't to get rid of everything—it's to help someone move forward with intention. About the Aging Parent Podcast The Aging Parent Podcast features conversations with professionals who work with older adults and their families. Each episode focuses on practical information families can use when facing decisions involving aging parents, senior living, caregiving, estate planning, downsizing, healthcare, housing, and other major life transitions. Our goal is to give families information they can understand and use—ideally before a crisis forces the decision. Connect With Today's Guest Sherri Gengel Be Organizing Co-Founder 📧 sherry@beeorganized.com https://beeorganized.com/pages/san-diego   Connect With Aging Parent Network Not sure who you need to call or where to begin? Aging Parent Network can help connect you with the right professional for your family's circumstances.  📞 858-727-9333 📱@beeorganized.co 📧 info@agingparentnetwork.com If you're helping an aging parent sort through decades of belongings or plan a move, don't wait until it becomes overwhelming. Contact Aging Parent Network at 858-727-9333 to talk through your circumstances and get connected with the right professional. And if this episode could help another family, share it with them, subscribe to the Aging Parent Podcast, and follow for more conversations about helping aging parents and their families make informed decisions.

  6. Sep 8

    Protect Your Assets Before It's Too Late | Episode 14

    Ep 14 | Protect Your Assets Before It's Too Late Digital estate planning for aging parents is becoming an essential part of preparing for the future. Most families know to talk about wills, trusts, powers of attorney, healthcare directives, and financial planning. But what happens to a parent's passwords, phone, email, cloud storage, subscriptions, photos, financial records, and other digital accounts if they become unable to manage them—or after they die? In this episode, Valerie Upham talks with Alex Brzozowski about the part of estate and aging-parent planning families often overlook: organizing a parent's digital life. Drawing from her experience working in estate administration and professional organization, Alex shares what she saw happen when grieving families were left trying to determine what accounts existed, where important documents were stored, and how to access information their loved one had never organized for them. We discuss: • Why knowing a parent's password may not be enough • Password managers and legacy access • What financial and personal information families should organize • Why a trust doesn't automatically solve the information problem • How to organize assets, liabilities, and important documents • Email, cloud storage, photos, and digital subscriptions • Why you may not want to cancel a parent's phone immediately after they die • How two-step verification can complicate account access • What can happen when bills and subscriptions are completely paperless • The two things families can start organizing today You don't have to organize everything at once. Start with the information someone else would need if your parent—or you—couldn't be there to explain where everything is. ABOUT THE AGING PARENT NETWORK The Aging Parent Network helps adult children and families understand their options as a parent's needs begin to change. Whether you're thinking about senior living, in-home care, estate planning, downsizing, selling a parent's home, or simply trying to determine what needs attention first, a conversation can help you get clear on the next step. Start with a free Discovery Call: AgingParentNetwork.com CONNECT WITH OUR GUEST Alex Brzozowski Founder | CEO alexb@beorganizing.com beorganizing.com CONNECT WITH THE AGING PARENT NETWORK Visit AgingParentNetwork.com for resources, podcast episodes, and information designed for families helping aging parents. If this episode made you realize there are passwords, accounts, documents, or digital information your family wouldn't know how to find, don't wait for an emergency to start the conversation. Choose one thing today. Set up the password manager. Make the account list. Organize the important documents. Your future family will be glad you did. SUBSCRIBE for more conversations about aging parents, caregiving, senior living, estate planning, downsizing, and the decisions families rarely know they'll need to make until they're facing them.

  7. Sep 1

    Ep 13 | Dementia Caregiving and Family Guilt: Our Mother's 10-Year Journey

    Dementia caregiving can affect an entire family long before anyone feels prepared for what lies ahead. In this personal episode of the Aging Parent Podcast, Valerie Upham sits down with her sister Kim to talk candidly about their mother's journey with vascular dementia—from the early signs they didn't initially understand to diagnosis, memory care, hospice, family stress, caregiver guilt, and eventually saying goodbye. Their mother's early dementia symptoms weren't limited to forgetting things. She began withdrawing, stopped doing activities she once enjoyed, struggled to find words, repeated stories, drove less, and eventually lost her ability to speak. Valerie and Kim also discuss: Early signs of dementia in an aging parent Caring for a parent with vascular dementia How dementia affects communication When memory care becomes necessary The guilt families can experience after choosing memory care What to look for in senior care Why hospice isn't necessarily only for the final days Advance healthcare directives and powers of attorney Family dynamics between siblings during caregiving What they wish they had understood earlier Perhaps the most unexpected lesson Valerie learned was that dementia could eventually take away her mother's ability to speak. Today, she encourages families to preserve more than photographs—record your parents' voices and everyday stories while you still can. About the Aging Parent Network The Aging Parent Network helps families better understand the options available when an aging parent begins needing additional support. Whether you're just beginning to notice changes or facing decisions involving senior living, caregiving, legal planning, downsizing, or the family home, the goal is to help you become informed before you're forced to make decisions during a crisis. Connect with Aging Parent Network 📞 Phone: 858-727-9333  📧 Email: info@agingparentnetwork.com If someone you know is caring for an aging parent or beginning to notice changes they don't quite understand, share this episode with them. Sometimes hearing another family's experience can help you recognize that you don't have to have every answer before starting the conversation.

  8. Sep 1

    Ep 12 | Selling Your Parents' Home Without Losing the Memories

    Selling Your Parents' Home can seem like a real estate decision—until decades of belongings, legal issues, repairs, sibling responsibilities, money, and family memories all become part of the process. In this episode, Valerie Upham talks with John Demato about what happened when he and his brother became responsible for the New York home their parents had owned for roughly 60–70 years. After their father passed away, a problem with the will created an unexpected six-to-eight-month delay before the brothers could move forward with the property. They initially considered renting the house, ultimately decided to sell, and found themselves dealing with far more than they expected—including a new kitchen and bathroom, flooring, stairs, a roof, electrical upgrades, and other repairs. Their total investment eventually climbed north of $70,000–$80,000. John also shares the part that numbers can't measure: what it felt like to dismantle rooms he had grown up in, sort through generations of family photographs, and eventually realize that selling his childhood home didn't mean selling the memories created there. As John puts it: "It's just a building. It's the memories that happen within the building that matter most." In this episode: The unexpected legal delay Deciding whether to rent or sell How two brothers divided the responsibilities Facing decades of deferred maintenance Renovating the family home Investing more than $70K–$80K The hardest part of inheriting the responsibility Why John says you have to stay agile and resilient Photographing the transformation "It's just a building…" About John DeMato John DeMato is a photographer and Visual Authority Architect who helps experts, authors, speakers, consultants, founders, and CEOs use imagery to communicate who they are and the level at which they operate. Before building his photography business, John spent more than a decade producing for NBCUniversal and Yahoo. He credits that television background with shaping the way he approaches photography—not simply capturing what something looks like, but digging deeper to find the story underneath it. That same instinct is evident in this episode. When his childhood home was about to be transformed, John used photography to document something far more personal: his own family history. Learn more about John DeMato: johndemato.com (718) 431-3542 john@johndemato.com   About the Aging Parent Network The Aging Parent Network helps aging parents and adult children understand their options when decisions involving the family home, care, legal planning, downsizing, and other life transitions begin to overlap. Start with a free discovery call: Phone: 858-727-9333 Email: info@agingparentnetwork.com AgingParentNetwork.com

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If you're raising kids, building a career, and suddenly managing doctor appointments, finances, or hard conversations with your parents, this podcast is for you. I'm Valerie Upham, and this is The Aging Parent Podcast. This show is for the sandwich generation, the sons and daughters who didn't plan on becoming caregivers, but stepped into the role anyway. You're carrying responsibility, love, pressure, and decisions that matter more than anyone prepared you for. I know this season personally. I've supported a parent through dementia. I've walked alongside my father through lung cancer, and both through hospice. I've lived in the tension between relationships and responsibilities. Caring for your parents doesn't come with a roadmap. Even with the best intentions, the choices can feel heavy because they affect the people that you love most. You may not know which decisions need to happen first. You may be feeling pulled between your parents' wishes and living your own life. You may be navigating siblings and doctors without a clear plan, quietly wondering if you're honoring your parents the right way while trying to protect the relationship. What you want is steadiness, clarity instead of second-guessing, confidence instead of guilt, a way forward that supports your parents without losing yourself. Each week, you'll hear solo episodes and thoughtful interviews with estate planning and elder law attorneys, financial planners, memory care leaders, healthcare professionals, and people who have walked this road themselves. You'll gain clarity on what needs attention and when. You'll learn language for conversations that preserve dignity and trust. You'll understand care and housing options before urgency forces decisions, and you'll be reminded that uncertainty does not mean that you're doing it wrong. New episodes will drop weekly, so whenever new questions surface, you have a place to return. Share this with a sibling or a friend who needs it, and join me on The Aging Parent Podcast!

Information

  • Creator
    Valerie Upham
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    20
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2026
  • Show Website
    Aging Parent Podcast