🎧 Author’s Note: The text below takes about 7 minutes to read. However, I have recorded a special, immersive audio version of this piece with built-in pauses to guide you through the visualization. If you are able, I highly invite you to grab your headphones, close your eyes, and press play. This meditative essay is designed to bring your awareness to the generational mindsets we are ready to outgrow. It’s most powerful when visualizing a young version of someone in your lineage; a grandparent, a mother, a son. But I encourage you to use this as a means of foundational reclamation—tending to your own inner child first. Close your eyes. Take a mindful breath. Let’s tune in... Imagine this loved one appearing before you at a significant, formative age. They’re holding onto a carefree effervescence, a heightened intuition, and a soft, sensitive soul. As this child moves into your field of view, watch their face light up at the first sight of you. A brief thrill finds them... before a deep calm washes over. Notice how their fear of judgment subsides immediately in your presence. For in your eyes, they are truly seen. Now, cast your mind to a moment of emotional intensity and observe how you comfort them. You offer space to explore feelings as they arise. Together, you honor those internal signals... assuring them they are safe to just be. In this place, all pressures to conform are released. There are no perceptions to manage, and nothing left to prove. Pull that feeling of sanctity close. Its light can guide you for a lifetime, if you so allow. Imagine this little one being encouraged to live boldly in their truth and ally with their authenticity. What does that look like? How do they express themselves? Imagine you’re the one providing the space they need to explore who they are, without telling them who they ought to be. You don’t interject or force their process, because you so deeply trust their inherent knowing. You understand what it feels like to have your path decided for you. So, in true reverence for this child, you grant them the autonomy to forge their own way. Now imagine this mirror-of-a-human wanting and choosing to spend time with you at each and every stage of their life. They want to call. They want to visit. They’re energized by your presence and value your opinions. They don’t feel reluctant to share the space, it’s something they joyfully desire. Under no obligation to uphold a façade, but instead, to maintain the quality of the most authentic version of a life they built for themselves. Neither of you take the other for granted. Imagine that. They feel safe to share their highs and lows because you offer energetic validation and support. Anything that matters to this child, matters to you, deeply. This... this is when truly powerful transformation can take place. You’re always there as a gentle guide, opening their eyes to new pathways and possibilities, but never taking ownership of their roadmap. You learn together and you witness their unique, eternal becoming. Sit with this child. Ask them what they’d like you to know, and really listen to their answer. I’ll wait. Now, gently let that imagery settle as we step back into the present space. I was born into circumstances that wanted me to believe there’s only one kind of safety that matters: physical safety. Planting the deep ache of survival-mode early. Physical safety meant I watched my single mother—and village of a family—fight tirelessly against all odds and oppressive systems. Pushing boulders uphill to keep all their children fed, housed, clothed, and physically unharmed. A necessary, noble cause indeed. My childhood was defined by economic vulnerability. Food was insecure, housing unstable, with frequent loss of utilities, and an endless seeking of the relief we desperately needed. I reflect often on the community aid and collective care that kept my family just resourced enough to stay afloat. I could write pages of gratitude, and I intend to. But two things can exist at once. I am thankful that I was kept alive, but I also acknowledge the extraordinary lack of emotional safety at every stage in my development. A truth that plagued me with pain so deep, I was drained of nearly all my childhood light. I’m speaking as someone who spent an entire adolescence being externally cared for and internally isolated. Constantly told I was loved, but never once asked how I felt. There was no one around me who had the capacity to console or validate me as I struggled—and we all struggle. Not one teacher, not one caregiver. From every voice at every angle, I was told what to do and when. Told what to believe and how to conduct myself. Everyone was talking at me, telling me to listen. At school, I was acutely aware of how often I was graded solely on my willingness to conform. They were critiquing every move, judging my missteps, and undermining my voice whenever they had the chance. And always in the name of keeping me safe. They wanted me to inherit the fears they never worked to dismantle within themselves... and it showed. Depending on how deep your own authoritarian wound is buried, this may or may not sound familiar. But even now, I see it everywhere. All the time. I was left at the end of each day feeling entirely unseen and unheard. At some very early age, I stopped speaking altogether and began writing instead. I opted to disappear into my own world, because it was the only place I felt understood. I longed for nothing the way I longed for my adulthood to arrive... eager to leave everything behind and start the life I had been writing into existence. And I did. So why was there no emotional safety? Maybe because my mother was never offered that. And her mother was never offered that. To be honest, most of our parents were never shown that kind of grace. The cycle continuesuntil it is broken. I’m writing about this because I know how it affected me, and I see this particular flavor of neglect present itself in the daily behaviors of nearly every person I’ve ever known. Regardless of whether they had basic survival needs met or not, household fears were in high supply and almost assuredly force-fed. From where I’m sitting, emotional neglect is damn near universal. It is compulsively hardwired into our societal consciousness. Even if you find its impact relatively benign, could it be we’ve simply been too afraid to grab the magnifying glass and zoom in? Possibly. And honestly, I get why! But I want to help as many people as possible retire the mindset that physical safety is all that matters. We have spent generations learning how to survive. But survival is a tight, crowded space. What happens when we look into our own eyes and realize we are safe enough to expand? That hypervigilance is something that may have served us in scarcity but no longer caters to who we are becoming. Children need food, water, and housing, of course. And I know all too well how impossible it can feel to find capacity beyond that. If you are in that survival space right now, your exhaustion is completely valid. But there are millions of children who have every physical need met and are still growing up numb. Plagued with the undissolved ego of their parents... believing that love is conditional... carrying deep fears of abandonment, judgment, and vulnerability. These ailments often manifesting as depression, or rage, or substance abuse. We see entire generations opting for escape, or living in a loop of perpetual self-sabotage. At what point do we shift our energy from supplying band-aids to actualizing the cures? How can we begin to tend to ourselves and our children beyond the bare minimum? And then there are Systemic Ripples… It is worth mentioning that when adults are economically resourced, but still operating from these unhealed wounds, they are far more likely to create self-serving systems aligned with moral corruption. We’ve watched time and time again as they project their internal fear and lack onto the world from positions of power. But imagine the alternative. Imagine the adult who was raised in spaces of openness and authenticity, where fear was merely an ally in self-reflection, and identity was something to be explored without judgement. Imagine the kind of creative, uninhibited thinking that could power inspiring alternate systems. Ones that serve the world we actually want to be living in. I don’t think we should disrupt efforts to meet the basic physical needs of children, obviously. But I do think it’s important to look at ourselves deeply enough to recognize how we are engaging in cycles of emotional care, and how those cycles manifest in every corner where children are present. Are we offering the type of support that we as children actually needed? Or are we avoidant, and limited to only one way of being, simply because we were never taught that something else exists? This reflection alone is a beautiful and revolutionary act of humanization. I will spend my life trying to woo you into this state of mind. Now... return to your imagination. Picture that same child becoming an adult after you have internally met them—and met yourself—so well. They lead companies and continue family legacies. They’re deeply creative, I just know it. Imagine their capacity to love and be loved. How do they show up for people? How do they engage with life? How do they tend to their own wellbeing? Just imagine their preparedness, guided by moral codes that were cultivated in environments of truth and openness, instead of fear and lack. These children won’t grow up to spend years healing and unpacking trauma. They won’t have layers of shame to deconstruct. Imagine them never having to engage with the painful work of disassembling a miles-high façade. They’ll know how to express, communicate, and regulate their emotions. Imagine we then become a world with less escapism. Less avoidance.
