Like, Zeg Maar

Malina + Alyssa

Hallootje, we're Malina and Alyssa aka your new expat besties! We are two California girlies embarking on life in the Netherlands and bringing you along for the ride. We share hot takes, get personal, and giggle a little way too much. Strap in and enjoy the view. Veel liefs aka much love xx

  1. 11h ago

    Love Is Blind NL #3: Karma's a B*tch

    Alyssa and Malina yap about everything that went down on Love Is Blind Netherlands (episodes 7–9).
 Eerlijk gezegd, things are much chiller than hoped: Roel’s pretty toned-down reaction to Yasguel’s engagement, the tame bachelor(ette) parties, the one-dress-only wedding dress shopping. But don’t worry, we’re still very much gawking when Jas’s family roast her to a crisp and Marcnou’s f-bomb-filled fight. And in true LIB fashion, we end up at the altar with Miguel being a lul (aka penis) and Jurrika saying “I do” while doing math. Oh boyyyyyy, do we have reactions to share.
 We also tackle the big questions: What truly makes a marriage work? When do we start seeing through the reality-TV gimmick? And how could we envision this franchise fitting into Dutch society and culture? We’re also excited to announce our sponsor, Solvve.nl, your one-stop shop to managing your homeowner’s association (VvE). Share, follow, rate, and review on your fave podcasting app. Suggestions, questions, interested in collabing? Send them over to likezegmaar@gmail.com! Liefs, your expat besties xx - (0:00) Intro (01:10) Our Character Analysis (06:58) Family Ties and Not-So-Friendly Fires (16:26) Karma’s a B*tch (19:56) Trapped in Horny Jail (26:52) [AD] Solvve.nl (27:52) Drum Roll for F*ckboy of the Year (39:06) Get Outta the Randstad (44:04) Reunion Predictions (47:05) Dutch of the Day: Gunnen

  2. 5d ago

    Love Is Blind NL #2: Crybabies & Gaslighters

    Alyssa and Malina are on a cross-cultural mission: breaking down Love Is Blind, the most popular reality show in the Netherlands right now. In episodes 4 through 6, the couples move from the pods to Zanzibar to the Netherlands. And we take you along for a ride full of too much tongue, gaslighting, the meaning of “gladjanus,” and what it sounds like to talk with a mouth full of warm potatoes. Malina shares who she’s picked up on her gaydar, and they both wonder whether the pods were actually an escape room all along. Here’s a roundup of the couples and our thoughts and predictions: Jurriaan and Mika (the strongest couple so far, despite the initial shitstorm) Gino and Mirella (besides the Crocs fitting, they are not a fit) Ludo and Jaslynn (flirty, but not on the same page about Big Life Things) Marc-Vincent and Meinou (Marc-Vinny can be socially awk, but somehow these love birds work?) Roel and Yasmin (yikes, it ends, but the internet has much love for Roel and his monitor lizard) Miguel and Yasmin (oh yes, she moves on quick) We’re also excited to announce our sponsor, ⁠Solvve.nl⁠, your one-stop shop to manage your homeowner’s association. Share, follow, rate, and review on your fave podcasting app. Suggestions, questions, interested in collabing? Send them over to likezegmaar@gmail.com! Liefs, your expat besties xx - (0:00) Intro (02:29) The PDA Spectrum (08:13) Fight Racism Through Reality Shows (13:00) [AD] ⁠Solvve.nl⁠ (14:00) Cocktail Party Dramz (22:28) Who’s Gaslighting Who? (33:35) Back to the Lowlands (42:28) Conversation Skills 201 (47:56) The Most Unnecessary Proposal Ever (52:04) Dutch of the Day: Lekker Ding

  3. Oct 7

    Love Is Blind NL #1: Fresh Hot Takes

    Love Is Blind Nederland has arrived, and we have thoughts. As longtime fans of the franchise, we’re diving into episodes 1–3 with hot takes, questionable judgments, and an urgent need to discuss what exactly is going on here. There are singles to profile, Dutch cultural codes to decode, and red flags to catalog. Malina makes it very clear that she is not Team Jurriaan (and, frankly, has receipts). Alyssa helps break down the kakker identity for our non-Dutchie listeners. And we investigate whether pets can really be dealbreakers, what wealth signaling looks like in the pods, and most importantly, who is serving gay villain. Plus: we take a step back to reflect on what actually makes a relationship work. Spoiler: it’s not eating oysters together or cloning yourself. We’re also excited to announce our sponsor, Solvve.nl, your one-stop shop to manage your homeowner’s association. Share, follow, rate, and review on your fave podcasting app. Suggestions, questions, interested in collabing? Send them over to likezegmaar@gmail.com! Liefs, your expat besties xx - (0:00) Intro (3:33) Love is Not Color Blind (13:30) Kakker Culture (21:35) The Love Rectangle (34:30) Ibiza, Ski Trips, Porsche, Zuidas (41:16) Shared Hobbies Don’t Make a Relationship (48:15) Dutch of the Day: Spannend

  4. Sep 29

    We Stand Corrected

    Checking themselves before they wreck themselves! These two fact checkers dive into the archives of past episodes to see what they’ve got wrong and close the loop on their own speculations. If you’re curious to know what Calvinism really is, how the Dutchies do corporate lingo, what's up with the British obsession over tanning, and how to rage bait on Reddit—it’s all here. What more could you expect from a podcast that is ⅓ firsthand experience, ⅓ hearsay, and ⅓ aspirationally educational?  We’re also excited to announce our sponsor, Solvve.nl, your one-stop shop to managing your homeowner’s association. Share, follow, rate, and review on your fave podcasting app. Suggestions, questions, interested in collabing? Send them over to likezegmaar@gmail.com! Liefs, your expat besties xx - (0:00) Money Talks… Or Does It? (03:48) The Schiphol Scandal (06:25) [AD] Solvve.nl (07:23) Excuse Me, I Need to Pee a Little on This (16:10) See You Later, Tater Tots (19:47) They’re Called the Shrimp (23:40) Alyssa Rage Baits Reddit (26:04) Waging the Duolingo War (31:37) Sneak Peek (32:34) Dutch of the Day: Nieuwsgierig

  5. Sep 26

    Friends From Scratch

    Remember the days of xoxo friends forever? Well—gulp—we’re all adults now. Alyssa and Malina talk about the very relatable, sometimes nerve-wracking, and occasionally awkward experience of making friends in a new place. They explore how a variety of friends can exist in and enrich your world. Think: the errand buddy, the homie you have deep talks with, the fellow word nerd you do crosswords with, the lil sis who takes off her socks as she watches reality TV with you on the couch. All acceptable forms of friendship. They don’t shy away from the uncomfy side of friendships, whether it’s meeting rude @$$ people, parting ways with friends, or feeling guilty about not keeping up with loved ones back home. But it’s not all just touchy-feely emotions! They decide to take a data-driven approach to their own friendship. Listen to the very end because these two kooks come up with might be the most unhinged LZM hangout to date.   Share with a new friend or that next-door neighbor who just moved in. Follow, rate, and review on your fave podcasting app. Suggestions, questions, interested in collabing? Send them over to likezegmaar@gmail.com! Liefs, your expat besties xx - (0:00) Intro (05:06) Every Flavor of Friend (10:09) Long Distance Friendshipping (18:10) Meet and Greet Horror Stories (27:26) Not For Coffee Catchups (32:16) The Part That Nobody Talks About (39:33) Our Wild But Still Chill Hangout Idea (47:16) Dutch of the Day: Geborgenheid

  6. Sep 19

    Summer Diaries #3

    We bid farewell to summer in this final episode of our Summer Diaries series! So, how have these two girlies been soaking up the sun? Glowy goddess Alyssa shares what she’s been up to after her travels, plus all of her cultural observations along the way. Food that’s just mid? Check. Sunburnt Brits? Check. Loud but extremely friendly Americans? Check. Meanwhile, birthday kween Malina has been living her best reckless life: binge-watching a reality show while biking and being a noncommittal book club member. When these two are not embroiled in drama, both real-life and on the set, they share their excitement for the upcoming fall season. A time for pumpkin spice everything, feeling intellectual and literary, and the most LA way to trick-or-treat. Share with a friend. Follow, rate, and review on your fave podcasting app. Suggestions, questions, interested in collabing? Send them over to likezegmaar@gmail.com! Liefs, your expat besties xx - (0:00) Intro (0:50) OG New Zealand (8:38) Being a Menace to Society (13:31) A Field Guide to Tourist Types (20:21) Food for Thought (22:37) POV: Your Bday Involves Wild Boars (28:48) Keep Your Enemies Close (Like, Next Door) (36:46) Bring on the Drama (38:40) Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice (46:13) Dutch of the Day: Hèhè

  7. Sep 12

    It's Giving Throat

    Lucky you! Class is being taught by not just one, but two, uncredentialed substitute teachers. Alyssa and Malina dive headfirst into Dutch, which we can all agree is how the Founding Fathers talked. They fumble over the "Greek y,” wonder when things should be standing or sitting, and teach you how to not bid people farewell. Thought you could snooze in the back of the class? Think again, because your subs are giving you a surprise pop quiz. Share with a friend. Follow, rate, and review on your fave podcasting app. Suggestions, questions, interested in collab? Send them over to likezegmaar@gmail.com! Liefs, your expat besties xx - (0:00) Intro (3:11) Funny English (4:39) False Friends (aka Not Us) (8:23) You Gotta Be Precise (10:58) See You Whenever  (13:36) Pop Quiz Time (20:26) We’re Made Out of Sugar (27:12) Schattige Schapen Schamen Zich (34:54) Mental Gymnastics with Numbers (38:05) The K-Word (39:59) Sleep Tasty (41:36) Dutch of the Day: Oefenen Baart Kunst

  8. Sep 5

    Summer Diaries #2

    Alyssa and Malina yap about what they’ve been up to since their last catch-up. Alyssa goes on side quests in nude spas and at roller discos, while Malina tries to keep it cool on set while running into Dutch celebs. They’re out and about at museums, film fests, outdoor concerts — culture maxxing for sure. But amid all the fun, nostalgia hits differently and unexpectedly when you’re building a life far from home. Share with a friend or maybe five. Follow, rate, and review on your fave podcasting app. Suggestions, questions, interested in collabing? Send them over to likezegmaar@gmail.com! Liefs, your expat besties xx - (0:00) Intro (1:19) Naked People Galore (7:02) Chasing Fame and Famous People (12:53) What We’re Watching (20:01) Too Integrated?! (23:35) Chaos Among the Masses (30:37) Feels Like Home (36:46) Dutch of the Day: Nagenieten

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Trailer

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
3 Ratings

About

Hallootje, we're Malina and Alyssa aka your new expat besties! We are two California girlies embarking on life in the Netherlands and bringing you along for the ride. We share hot takes, get personal, and giggle a little way too much. Strap in and enjoy the view. Veel liefs aka much love xx

Information

  • Creator
    Malina + Alyssa
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    13
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Malina + Alyssa
  • Show Website
    Like, Zeg Maar

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