Etiquette has a reputation problem, and Mariah Humbert spends a good part of her working life undoing it. People tilt their heads when she tells them what she does. They sit up straighter at dinner. They assume she is watching how they hold a fork, and she is not, unless they ask. Her position is that the whole category has been mislabeled: books full of rules are better understood as tools, and the point of any of them is to help people feel confident enough to bring forward what they actually have to offer. She and Heather get into where that lands in 2026, from wedding-table diplomacy to the thank-you note nobody sends because they do not own stationery. What you'll learn in this episode Why etiquette has a reputation problem, and Mariah's reframe: the books full of rules are better used as tools, applied situationally instead of memorized The introductions trick that actually works. Drop "introduce you to" entirely and ask one question instead: whose name do I say first Why the hard part of wedding planning is family dynamics rather than logistics, what a balance of power over decisions looks like when someone else is paying, and the conversation couples should have before they ever choose invitation wording Where handwritten thank-you notes are still non-negotiable, the dual strategy for professional situations that can't wait for the mail, and the one sentence that makes a note worth keeping How to choose the right channel for a hard message, and why erring formal is the safer bet for anyone still building professional credibility About the guest Mariah G. Humbert is a New York City–based etiquette expert and author leading a new era of modern etiquette. After leaving the corporate fashion world in 2021, Mariah built a business dedicated to helping individuals and organizations present themselves with clarity, polish, and presence. She offers bespoke consultations, trainings, and keynote speaking across industries including high jewelry, finance, real estate, hospitality, entertainment, technology, and education. Mariah is a member of The International Etiquette Trainer Society and The International Association of Professional Image Consultants. She is the author of the modern wedding etiquette books What Do I Do? and The Essential Wedding Planner, and her expertise has been trusted by The Today Show, NBC News, Fox News, Forbes, Southern Living, The New York Post, Travel + Leisure, Brides, Martha Stewart, and more Connect with Mariah Website: mariahhumbert.com Instagram @mariah.humbert About your host Heather Wiese is the founder of Bell'INVITO, the luxury stationery and design house she has led for more than twenty years, trusted with the invitations, menus, and correspondence behind some of the country's most considered occasions. A modern etiquette authority and longtime PaperCity columnist, she has built her career reading the quiet rules of how people gather, connect, and are received. On Social In Security, she brings that vantage point to a weekly conversation about etiquette, luxury, and social intelligence, alongside the experts, insiders, and coaches who know these rooms from the inside. Connect Bring a moment you want decoded to ask@social-in-security.com, or write in as "asking for a friend." Follow Social In Security wherever you listen. If an episode helps, send it to someone who would appreciate it. Instagram: @social.in.security This episode is presented by Bell'INVITO At Bell'INVITO, we believe the details are the point. For more than twenty years, we have created the invitations behind some of the world's most beautiful occasions: paper that is held, kept, and framed, and the quiet art of the first impression long before anyone walks in the room. bellinvito.com