The Upgrade

Julie Smith
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The Upgrade

  1. 4d ago

    Stuck in a Life You Don't Like? The Subconscious Reason (and a 5-Step Fix)

    📌 If your mind won't switch off at night, or you're running on empty by the time you get home, try The Evening Upgrade. It's a free 10-minute audio with Julie that helps you actually put the day down and rest properly: https://marketing.millieside.com/evening-upgrade ——— In this episode of The Upgrade, Julie unpacks why you can end up stuck in a life, or parts of a life, that you don't even like, even when you consciously want something different. You'll learn why your subconscious keeps pulling you back to old patterns the moment things get quiet or uncomfortable, and why "just think positive" never works on its own. You'll walk away with a simple five step tool you can use this week to catch the pattern in the moment and start choosing a different response. ➡️ Why wanting to change consciously doesn't stop you repeating the same old behaviour ➡️ The "familiar filter" and how it quietly runs your reactions before you've even had a thought ➡️ How childhood moments (like being told to stop crying) wire beliefs that still show up at work and at home today ➡️ A real client story showing how this shift looks in practice, from reacting to deliberate action ➡️ The five step process to interrupt the automatic response and build new evidence for who you're becoming ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Why we stay stuck in a life we don't like 01:06 Introducing the familiar filter 01:29 Signs you're running on autopilot 02:15 Conscious mind vs subconscious programming 03:13 How the familiar pattern actually plays out 04:22 Where these beliefs come from in childhood 06:06 Why we get addicted to a life we don't like 07:48 A client story: from reacting to deliberate action 10:11 The five step tool to interrupt the pattern 12:34 Julie's own story of proving old beliefs wrong 17:02 Final thoughts and how to start this week The Upgrade is a weekly show for capable people who know they're built for more but keep finding themselves held back by an older version of themselves. Each week Julie Smith breaks down the real, often subconscious reasons you hesitate, overthink or play small, and gives you practical tools to actually shift it, not just more confidence advice that doesn't stick. If this episode landed, the next one will too. 🔔 Subscribe so you don't miss the next one: https://www.youtube.com/@juliemillieside?sub_confirmation=1 💬 CONNECT WITH Julie Smith Instagram: @juliemillieside Website: https://millieside.com/

  2. Oct 5

    Why Your 'I AM' Statements Control Your Life

    If your mind won't switch off at night, or you're running on empty by the time you get home, try The Evening Upgrade. It's a free 10 minute audio with Julie that helps you actually put the day down and rest properly: https://marketing.millieside.com/evening-upgrade ——— In this episode of The Upgrade, Julie breaks down why you keep repeating the same patterns in your life, even the ones you don't actually like, and introduces something called the Familiar Filter to help you spot what's really driving your automatic reactions. You'll learn why your body reacts before you've even had a conscious thought about it, and why wanting to change on the surface isn't enough to actually change your behaviour. By the end, you'll have a simple five step process you can start using this week to build new evidence for who you actually want to be. ➡️ Why your subconscious mind quietly overrides your conscious decision to change ➡️ How childhood experiences shape the automatic reactions you have today ➡️ The five step Familiar Filter process to interrupt old patterns in the moment ➡️ Why your body reacts before your mind has even caught up ➡️ How to start gathering evidence for a new identity, one small moment at a time ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Introduction 01:06 Introducing the Familiar Filter 02:22 Conscious mind vs subconscious mind 03:13 How the familiar loop actually works 04:30 Where these patterns start in childhood 06:06 Why we get addicted to a life we don't like 08:02 Client story: reacting vs deliberate action 10:11 The five step tool to break the pattern 14:37 Shifting your identity, not just your behaviour 17:03 Try this: The Evening Upgrade audio The Upgrade is Julie Smith's weekly show for capable people who know they're meant for more but keep getting pulled back by an old version of themselves. Every week Julie unpacks the real psychology behind why you hesitate, overthink or play small, and gives you practical tools to rewire the beliefs keeping you stuck, so you can feel safer being seen, asking for more and building the life you actually want. If this episode landed, next week's will too. 🔔 Subscribe so you don't miss the next one: https://www.youtube.com/@juliemillieside?sub_confirmation=1 💬 CONNECT WITH Julie Smith Instagram: @juliemillieside Website: https://millieside.com/

  3. Sep 29

    Why You Keep Getting the Same Results (Even When You Want Change)

    If your evenings are spent replaying the meeting where you went quiet again, The Evening Upgrade is a free 10-minute audio with Julie that helps you actually put the day down and rest: https://marketing.millieside.com/evening-upgrade ——— In this episode of The Upgrade, Julie unpacks why your life can keep producing the same results even when you're consciously trying to change, and shows you the one automatic pattern that's probably running the show without you realising it. You'll learn why willpower and "just be more confident" advice never sticks, and you'll walk away with a simple tool called the One Second Shift that you can start using today. It's about spotting the exact moment an old response takes over, and choosing something small and different instead. ➡️ Why your brain keeps choosing the familiar response, even when you want something new ➡️ How to spot your own "choice point", the split second before the old pattern kicks in ➡️ Why confidence advice alone rarely works, and what's actually happening underneath it ➡️ The five steps of the One Second Shift, a tool you can use this week to practise a different response ➡️ Why small, repeated changes rewrite your identity faster than one big leap ever could ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Introduction 00:34 Why your day runs on autopilot 01:01 Meet Julie Smith 02:19 Signs a pattern has taken over 03:00 Your identity box explained 06:09 The science behind safety and habit 08:34 How the pattern plays out step by step 13:10 The One Second Shift in five steps 16:37 Julie's own pattern with asking for help 20:34 Why old patterns follow you to bed The Upgrade is a weekly live show for capable people who know they're built for more, but keep getting pulled back by an older version of themselves. Every week, Julie Smith breaks down the psychology behind why you hesitate, overthink or shrink back just when it matters most, and gives you practical tools to change it. If this episode landed, you'll want to catch the next one. 💬 CONNECT WITH Julie Smith Instagram: @juliemillieside Website: https://millieside.com/

  4. Sep 21

    Can't Sit Down? The Real Reason You Stay Busy (And How to Stop)

    📌 If your evenings feel like your mind just won't switch off, try The Evening Upgrade, a free 10-minute audio that helps you actually put the day down and rest properly: https://marketing.millieside.com/evening-upgrade ——— If you can't sit still for more than 90 seconds without finding another job to do, this episode is for you. Julie unpacks why staying busy often isn't about being productive at all, it's actually a way of protecting yourself from feelings you haven't dealt with. You'll walk away with a simple three step tool called the wave check to help you catch yourself, name what's really going on, and let the feeling move through instead of burying it under another task. ➡️ How to spot the difference between genuinely being productive and just keeping yourself distracted ➡️ Why your brain treats stopping and feeling as unsafe, and where that pattern actually comes from ➡️ The three step wave check tool: catch it, name it, ride it ➡️ Why busyness during the day can turn into a racing mind the second your head hits the pillow ➡️ How to give yourself just 60 seconds to process a feeling instead of running from it ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Introduction 01:03 Why we're so good at staying busy 02:13 Signs you might be avoiding, not achieving 02:50 Julie's client: always busy, never present 05:01 What's actually going on underneath 06:10 How this gets programmed in childhood 07:57 When busyness stops you relaxing at all 09:08 Introducing the wave check tool 10:21 The three steps: catch it, name it, ride it 11:05 Try it yourself, live 13:11 Julie's own story: losing her dad 17:07 Why you can unlearn this pattern 19:08 Why it catches up with you at night 20:07 Your challenge for this week The Upgrade is a weekly show for capable people who keep hitting the edge of something bigger and pulling back. Julie Smith, coach, therapist and hypnotherapist, gets into what's really happening underneath your patterns, the beliefs, the protection mechanisms, the old programming, so you can start making changes that actually stick. If this one landed, there's more where it came from every week. 💬 CONNECT WITH Julie Smith Instagram: @juliemillieside Website: https://millieside.com/

  5. Sep 14

    Why Praise Feels Uncomfortable (Even When You've Earned It): 4 Steps to Fix It

    If you notice you're carrying the day's doubts into the evening while brushing off everything that went right, try The Evening Upgrade, a free 10 minute audio with Julie that helps you actually put the day down and take in the good: https://marketing.millieside.com/evening-upgrade ——— Ever get a genuine compliment and immediately explain it away, or feel a weird pang of discomfort when someone's kind to you for no reason? In this episode of The Upgrade, Julie unpacks why accepting praise, love or a genuine compliment can feel so uncomfortable, even when you've fully earned it. You'll learn what your automatic reactions are really showing you about your identity, and walk away with a simple four step practice to help you actually let the good in. ➡️ Why brushing off a compliment isn't modesty, it's your identity box protecting old beliefs ➡️ How your body reacts to praise before you've even had a conscious thought about it ➡️ The four step receive and rewire practice: catch it, notice it, get curious, say thank you ➡️ Why capable, experienced people still feel like a fraud when someone new comes along ➡️ How to stop carrying criticism into the evening while letting the wins disappear unnoticed ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Introduction 01:38 Why compliments can feel so strange 02:22 The identity box and what you believe you deserve 03:37 Why capable people still feel like a fraud 04:02 How your identity box gets built 05:07 Your body reacts before you even think 06:23 Real examples: promotions, love, kindness 08:03 The four step receive and rewire practice 10:12 A walkthrough you can try right now 14:12 Julie's own experience with receiving praise 17:24 Why how you finish your day matters The Upgrade is a weekly show for capable people who know they're built for more but keep getting pulled back by an older version of themselves. Every week Julie Smith digs into the real psychology behind why growth feels unsafe, why old beliefs keep running the show, and how to actually rewire them so you can be seen, ask for more and live the life you're capable of. If this one landed, the next episode will too. 💬 CONNECT WITH Julie Smith Instagram: @juliemillieside Website: https://millieside.com/

  6. Sep 14

    The Evidence Hunt: How to Retrain Your Brain to Notice You're Good Enough

    📌 If your mind won't switch off at night, or you're running on empty by the time you get home, try The Evening Upgrade, a free 10-minute audio that helps you put the day down and rest properly: https://marketing.millieside.com/evening-upgrade ——— This week on The Upgrade, Julie unpacks why your brain remembers the one bit of criticism and completely forgets the ten compliments you got that same day. You'll learn what's actually going on when your mind seems to hunt for evidence that you're not good enough, and why simply "thinking positive" never sticks. By the end, you'll walk away with a simple daily exercise to start training your brain to notice the proof that you're capable, worthy and doing better than you think. ➡️ Why your brain is wired to notice criticism and skip past compliments ➡️ What your Reticular Activating System (your brain's filter) is actually doing all day ➡️ A quick exercise using the colour blue that shows this filter in action ➡️ How to run "the evidence hunt" to start collecting proof you're good enough ➡️ Why positive affirmations alone don't work, and what actually needs to change underneath ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Introduction 00:42 Why one criticism outweighs ten compliments 02:03 Playing down your own achievements 06:20 Your identity box and old beliefs 06:42 What your brain's filter is really doing 07:12 The blue and red room experiment 09:53 Where this shows up in real life 10:38 How to actually start changing it 11:17 The evidence hunt exercise 14:02 Julie's own story from 35 years in corporate 17:09 How new evidence rewrites your identity 20:23 Why it gets loud at bedtime Every week on The Upgrade, Julie Smith helps capable people work out why they hesitate, overthink or hold themselves back just as things start to get good, and shows you what to actually do about it. If today's episode landed, you'll want to be here for the next one. 💬 CONNECT WITH Julie Smith Instagram: @juliemillieside Website: https://millieside.com/

  7. Aug 31

    A 3-Step Money Belief Rewind to Stop Underpricing Yourself

    📌 Struggling to switch off after a session like this? Try The Evening Upgrade, Julie's free 10-minute audio that helps you actually put the day down and rest properly: https://marketing.millieside.com/evening-upgrade ——— In this episode of The Upgrade, Julie Smith unpacks where your money beliefs actually come from and why they might still be quietly running your decisions today, from undercharging in your business to turning down a promotion you know you deserve. You'll learn why "logical" money decisions are often being made by an old, familiar version of you rather than the person you are right now. By the end, you'll walk away with a simple three-step tool, The Money Belief Rewind, that you can use on any money decision going forward. ➡️ Why underpricing, avoiding promotions and money "disappearing" often trace back to old beliefs, not logic ➡️ How the beliefs you picked up about money before age 7 still shape choices today ➡️ The "money thermostat" idea and why your brain pulls you back to what feels familiar ➡️ The three-step Money Belief Rewind: recall, spot, rewrite ➡️ Why noticing the pattern matters more than getting it perfect straight away ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Introduction 01:17 Why this isn't about budgets or spreadsheets 02:03 Signs an old money belief is running the show 03:07 Where your money beliefs actually came from 06:58 The money thermostat explained 08:02 How this affects what you charge and earn 11:08 Why awareness comes before change 13:39 The Money Belief Rewind, step by step 21:20 Julie's own money story 23:51 What real change actually looks like 26:16 Tonight's tool for a clearer head tomorrow The Upgrade is a weekly show for capable people who know they're built for more but keep getting pulled back by an old version of themselves. Julie Smith mixes practical psychology with live coaching to help you spot the identity-level beliefs keeping you stuck, whether that shows up in money, confidence, relationships or the opportunities you keep talking yourself out of. New episodes every week. 💬 CONNECT WITH Julie Smith Instagram: @juliemillieside Website: https://millieside.com/

  8. Aug 31

    How to Say No Without Feeling Guilty

    📌 If tonight's guilt and overthinking are already replaying before you've even set the boundary, The Evening Upgrade helps you put the day down properly so tomorrow doesn't start on the back foot: https://marketing.millieside.com/evening-upgrade ——— In this episode of The Upgrade, Julie breaks down why setting boundaries feels so much harder than it should, even when you know exactly what you want to say. You'll learn why saying no triggers such a strong reaction in your body, and walk away with a simple four step method you can use in the moment to stop automatic yes's before they leave your mouth. If you're the reliable one who ends up exhausted, resentful and overexplaining decisions nobody questioned, this one's for you. ➡️ Why disappointing someone doesn't mean you've done anything wrong ➡️ The real reason capable, successful people struggle most with boundaries ➡️ How childhood survival strategies still run your yes's and no's today ➡️ The four step love or guilt check you can use before you answer anyone ➡️ How to let discomfort pass through you instead of it making the decision for you ⏱️ TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Introduction 01:07 Meet Julie and the identity box method 01:57 What's coming: the love or guilt check 02:20 Signs your boundaries have gone wobbly 03:39 Why capable people struggle most 04:49 Where people-pleasing patterns come from 07:24 The subconscious yes in real life 08:50 How the four step framework works 10:34 Live walkthrough: try it yourself 15:21 Changing who you learned to be 19:17 Carrying guilt into your evening 20:22 Recap and final thoughts The Upgrade is a weekly show for capable people who know they've got more in them, but keep hesitating right at the edge of it. Julie Smith, coach, therapist and hypnotherapist, gets under the surface of why growth feels unsafe to your body and mind, and how to actually rewire the old identity keeping you stuck, not just manage it with more willpower. Every week brings a new piece of the puzzle, so if boundaries, confidence or people-pleasing are your thing, you'll want to catch what's next. 💬 CONNECT WITH Julie Smith Instagram: @juliemillieside Website: https://millieside.com/

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About

The Upgrade

Information

  • Creator
    Julie Smith
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    23
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © Julie Smith
  • Show Website
    The Upgrade