Standing Out

Christopher Allen

Standing Out is a home for the queer community's stories — the ones we don't always get to hear. It's for anyone who's ever felt lonely, left out, or like everyone else had a map to life that they never got handed. So many of us end up sticking to people just like ourselves because it feels safe — and without realising it, barely get to know anyone outside that circle. This show was born from wanting something different: a space that's open to more than just one kind of story. Each episode is one honest conversation, built around three questions: what does authenticity actually mean to this person, how have they built a life on their own terms in a world that wasn't designed with them in mind, and what would they want a younger queer person to know that they wish they'd known sooner. Guests come from all over — film, sport, activism, business, and beyond — because there's an infinite number of ways to be queer, and no single story covers it. No polish, no pretending everyone's fine. Just curiosity, respect, and people talking honestly about what it costs and what it gives back to live as yourself. New episodes weekly.

Episodes

  1. Sep 30

    Yan Javeri (part one): Camouflage

    This week, talent agent Yan Javeri joins me for part one of a two-part conversation. We go back to a childhood built on practicality rather than explanation, being sent to boarding school at eight while his brother stayed home, and the years he spent quietly studying other people to work out how to belong. It's a story about camouflage, and what it costs to build a version of yourself just to fit in. Follow Yan on Instagram at @yancameronj. Follow along on TikTok and Instagram at @christopherallenofficial, and subscribe on YouTube and wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Wednesday. References mentioned in this episode: - University of Westminster, Harrow campus (formerly Harrow School of Art, where Yan studied): https://arts.westminster.ac.uk/history CONTENT WARNINGS - FAMILY ESTRANGEMENT - BOARDING SCHOOL SEPARATION AT A YOUNG AGE - BULLYING - AN EMOTIONALLY UNHEALTHY EARLY RELATIONSHIP CHAPTERS 00:00 Intro 03:08 Four pages of prep, and a year of therapy 07:32 Always structured: mapping things out to feel in control 08:24 A childhood of sensory overload and no explanations 09:38 Sent to boarding school at eight, while his brother stayed home 14:40 Negotiating his way back to state school 15:38 The crocodile briefcase: culture shock in Essex 19:59 Studying the popular kids, and building a version of himself 23:34 Art school, his first boyfriend, and getting in by fibbing 25:13 Fearless at Harrow: cleaning toilets at 4am for his freedom 31:48 An invitation to Geneva

  2. Sep 9

    Eugene Lynch (Part 2): Full Circle

    In Part Two of this two-part conversation, Eugene Lynch continues his story — what happened after his HIV diagnosis, how shame and addiction quietly took hold, and the winding road back to honesty, healing, and a full circle career at the charity that once saved him.   Follow Standing Out on TikTok and Instagram @christopherallenofficial, and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. New episodes every Wednesday.   References mentioned in this episode: - Terrence Higgins Trust — https://tht.org.uk/ - Terrence Higgins Trust on Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/thtorguk/ - Donate to Terrence Higgins Trust — https://donate.tht.org.uk/ - Terrence Higgins Trust's Positive Voices speaker programme — https://tht.org.uk/about-us/community-projects/hiv-training-and-speakers   THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: - HIV DIAGNOSIS - DRUG AND ALCOHOL ADDICTION - MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLES, INCLUDING ANXIETY AND PANIC ATTACKS - SEXUAL ASSAULT (DISCLOSED IN DETAIL) - REHAB AND ADDICTION TREATMENT Listener discretion advised. Chapters: 00:02:15 Telling Tim: the day of his HIV diagnosis00:04:17 Guilt, shame, and hiding drug use from Tim00:05:03 The medication side effect that went unnoticed for two years00:07:48 The story Eugene told Tim about how he got HIV00:09:12 Hitting rock bottom in 201800:11:33 Reaching out to Terrence Higgins Trust for support00:15:21 A psychiatrist recommends rehab00:16:21 Wrestling with the "addict" label as a gay man00:19:16 Step One: writing down everything and reading it aloud00:20:48 The full story he'd never told anyone, and a therapist's reframe00:29:59 Telling Tim the truth years later, and a healing moment00:34:20 Full circle: from service user to THT director, plus his advice and how to support the charity

  3. Sep 2

    Eugene Lynch (Part 2): Growing Up Other

    This week Christopher sits down with Eugene (@eugenelynch83) - a Dublin-born corporate professional turned TikTok HIV-awareness advocate followed by thousands. In Part 1 of this two-part conversation, Eugene traces the through-line from a two-bedroom house with no central heating in 1980s Dublin, through school years spent quietly hiding who he was, to meeting the love of his life at 4am in a Vauxhall nightclub - and the diagnosis that changed everything. This episode is only part 1, part 2 will follow next Wednesday. Follow Christopher on TikTok and Instagram @christopherallenofficial, and follow Eugene on TikTok @eugenelynch83 and Instagram @eugenelynch. Subscribe wherever you listen so you don't miss Part 2 - new episodes every Wednesday. References mentioned in this episode: Terrence Higgins Trust (HIV support and information) — https://tht.org.uk/NHS: Shingles, causes and who's at risk — https://www.nhsinform.scot/illnesses-and-conditions/infections-and-poisoning/shinglesFire, Vauxhall (nightclub) — https://thatsup.co.uk/london/nightclub/fire-london/The Netherlands becomes the first country to legalise same-sex marriage, 2001 — https://spectrumlocalnews.com/ap-top-news/2021/04/01/the-dutch-went-first-in-2001-who-has-same-sex-marriage-now CONTENT WARNINGS FOR THIS EPISODE: HIV DIAGNOSISDRUG USEALCOHOL USEMENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLESHOMOPHOBIA / BULLYING Chapters: 00:00:00 Welcome & meeting Eugene00:01:55 Born in Dublin, 1983: growing up working-class00:04:00 A quiet inferiority complex, and feeling "other" at school00:07:48 His aunt, and the wedding in Amsterdam she couldn't attend00:11:06 Secondary school: freedom, friendship, and the class "moment of realisation"00:16:46 University: becoming an atheist and deciding to "just be"00:19:31 2007: meeting the love of his life at 4am in Fire, Vauxhall00:20:12 A wild period, toxic relationships, and trying drugs for the first time00:24:30 Why he talks about HIV on TikTok00:26:04 Getting ill: shingles, diagnosis, and telling Tim

  4. Aug 26

    Jonathan Blake: Surviving the Impossible

    Jonathan Blake was one of the first people in the UK diagnosed with HIV, back in 1982 — and one of the real-life figures the film Pride is based on. In this episode, he joins Christopher to talk about coming out, surviving an HIV diagnosis he was never expected to outlive, decades of activism, and what it means to build an authentic life against the odds. Follow along on TikTok and Instagram @christopherallenofficial, and subscribe on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts — new episodes every Wednesday. References mentioned in this episode: Terrence Higgins Trust — https://tht.org.uk/Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners (LGSM) — https://lgsm.org/It's a Sin (Channel 4) — https://www.channel4.com/programmes/its-a-sin/The Fitzrovia Chapel — https://www.fitzroviachapel.org/AIDS Advert - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iroty5zwOVw CONTENT WARNING — THIS EPISODE DISCUSSES: - SUICIDE ATTEMPT - HIV/AIDS DIAGNOSIS AND TERMINAL PROGNOSIS - DEATH AND GRIEF - FAMILY REJECTION - RECREATIONAL DRUG USE Chapters: - 00:01:38 Meet Jonathan Blake: Actor, Activist & Real-Life Pride Character - 00:05:30 Young Jonathan: Growing Up Queer in 1950s Birmingham - 00:08:18 Discovering Theatre & Deciding to Become an Actor - 00:12:06 Coming Out to His Family at 21 - 00:16:29 Close Calls Before Coming Out - 00:20:09 Choosing to Rejoin the World After an HIV Diagnosis - 00:22:16 The Symptoms: "I Was Walking Like a Gorilla" - 00:26:30 Getting Tested at the Clinic - 00:27:06 The Diagnosis: "You Have Three to Six Months to Live" - 00:29:25 Terrence Higgins & the Roots of the Terrence Higgins Trust - 00:33:02 Thatcher's Government, Norman Fowler & the Fight for HIV Funding - 00:35:08 How HIV Changed Nursing Care Forever - 00:36:24 "We Are Still Here," It's a Sin & the HIV/COVID Parallel - 00:40:11 A Suicide Attempt & the Turning Point - 00:41:17 Finding CND & the Ad in Capital Gay - 00:42:47 Meeting Nigel at the Demonstration - 00:43:46 The Greenham Common Human Chain - 00:45:13 Moving Into a Brixton Squat With Nigel - 00:47:15 "Displacement Activity" & Living With a Terminal Diagnosis - 00:48:14 Princess Diana, the Middlesex Hospital & the Fitzrovia Chapel - 00:49:55 "How Did You Survive It?" - 00:51:28 Lesbians and Gays Support the Miners: The Real Story Behind Pride - 00:54:41 39 Years With Nigel: Love, Friendship & Being "Good Mates" - 00:55:21 What Does Authentic Queer Life Look Like at 76? - 00:56:05 Growing Older as a Queer Person & the Need for Safe Spaces - 00:58:15 Jonathan's Advice to Queer People in Their 20s and 30s - 00:59:16 Closing Thoughts

  5. Aug 19

    Standing Out, Explained: My Theory & My Why

    Welcome to the very first episode of Standing Out. Before diving into guest conversations, host Christopher takes a moment to explain the theory and personal story behind the show — why it exists, why "queer" is the word he's chosen to reclaim, and the psychology that's shaped his own experience of otherness. Drawing on minority stress theory (developed by psychologist Ilan Meyer) and a concept Christopher calls "queer silo safety," this episode unpacks why queer people are statistically more likely to feel lonely, where that loneliness actually comes from, and what it took to move from feeling broken to building something for the community instead. Christopher also shares the story of meeting Richard and Graham — an older gay couple whose relationship reshaped how he thinks about queer visibility across generations — and lays out the four questions that will guide every future guest conversation on this show. Follow along on TikTok and Instagram @christopherallenofficial, and subscribe on YouTube or wherever you get your podcasts — it's free, and it genuinely helps this reach more people who need it. Chapters: 00:00 Welcome to Standing Out 01:47 Who This Podcast Is For 02:42 My Favourite Podcasts & Reclaiming the Word "Queer" 03:55 Where the Idea for Standing Out Came From 07:52 The Loneliness Statistics: Why Queer People Struggle More 09:10 Meeting Richard & Graham: Queer Elders 11:39 Queer Silo Safety, Explained 13:00 Minority Stress, Explained (Ilan Meyer) 14:04 How Standing Out Was Born 14:40 What I Ask Every Guest (4 Questions) 15:24 Meet Your Host & First Guest: Jonathan Blake

About

Standing Out is a home for the queer community's stories — the ones we don't always get to hear. It's for anyone who's ever felt lonely, left out, or like everyone else had a map to life that they never got handed. So many of us end up sticking to people just like ourselves because it feels safe — and without realising it, barely get to know anyone outside that circle. This show was born from wanting something different: a space that's open to more than just one kind of story. Each episode is one honest conversation, built around three questions: what does authenticity actually mean to this person, how have they built a life on their own terms in a world that wasn't designed with them in mind, and what would they want a younger queer person to know that they wish they'd known sooner. Guests come from all over — film, sport, activism, business, and beyond — because there's an infinite number of ways to be queer, and no single story covers it. No polish, no pretending everyone's fine. Just curiosity, respect, and people talking honestly about what it costs and what it gives back to live as yourself. New episodes weekly.

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