My Mind Eats First

BED Patient

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Mental Health

A personal audio journal about living with binge eating disorder

4d ago

A Week in the Life Of

What actually happens when you stop hiding from your patterns and start documenting them? In this special episode of My Mind Eats First, we move away from theory and into reality. For seven days, I’ve been recording my experiences at the end of every single day, capturing the unfiltered truth of what it's like to navigate a week defined by the complex intersection of food, mindset, and daily routine. This isn’t a polished lecture; it is a raw, chronological deep dive into the highs, the lows, and the repetitive cycles that can define our lives. From the way we use food to avoid our most daunting tasks, to the subtle psychological tricks we play on ourselves to justify a lack of discipline, this episode pulls back the curtain on the "messy" middle of the struggle. If you’ve ever felt like your days are an endless loop of starting over, or if you've wondered how small decisions in the morning can dictate your sleep and energy by nightfall, join me for this week-long autopsy of a lifestyle in transition. In this episode, we explore: The Seven-Day Cycle: A raw, day-by-day look at the patterns that emerge when you live with radical honesty.Food as an Avoidance Tool: How "necessary" meals can become a psychological shield against procrastination and fear.The Search for Sensation: The internal drive to find "fullness" and how it shapes our daily habits.The Domino Effect: Understanding the connection between evening choices, sleep disruption, and the struggle of the following morning. Connect with the Podcast: I am documenting this journey in real-time. If these reflections resonate with you, or if you have your own experiences to share, please reach out. 📩 Email: mymindeatsfirst@gmail.com
Oct 6

The Reality of Intuitive Eating: Theory vs. The Struggle of Recovery

Is "Intuitive Eating" actually possible when you are living with Binge Eating Disorder? On paper, the principles of intuitive eating sound like the ultimate roadmap to freedom. They promise a life without restriction, without calorie counting, and without the exhausting cycle of willpower. But for those in the thick of binge eating disorder (BED) recovery, there is often a massive, daunting gap between understanding these principles and actually living them. In this episode of My Mind Eats First, we dive into a raw, unfiltered examination of the 10 Principles of Intuitive Eating. This isn't a clinical lecture or a "how-to" guide—it is a personal audio journal exploring the friction that occurs when textbook recovery meets the reality of a broken hunger sensor and deep-seated food triggers. In this episode, we explore: The Willpower Trap: Why traditional methods of discipline often lead to a cycle of failure in BED recovery.Theory vs. Practice: Why some intuitive eating principles feel like common sense, while others feel like "PhD-level" challenges.The Trigger Factor: Navigating the complex territory of "forbidden foods" and why certain environments change everything.Biological vs. Emotional Hunger: The difficult task of untangling true physical needs from emotional triggers.The Movement Paradox: Why even gentle exercise can sometimes complicate the recovery journey. If you have ever felt like you are "failing" at intuitive eating, or if you feel stuck between the desire to heal and the overwhelming nature of your own triggers, this episode is for you. You aren't alone in the struggle to make these changes feel natural rather than forced. Disclaimer: This podcast is a personal audio journal sharing raw, unfiltered experiences with binge eating disorder. The host is not a therapist, doctor, or health professional. The content shared is for personal processing and may be highly triggering for some listeners. This episode does not provide medical advice, recommendations, or professional guidance. Please prioritize your own mental health while listening. Join the Conversation: I want to hear from you. How do these principles land with you? Do they feel like a path forward, or do they feel out of reach? Have you found a way to implement them, or are you currently wrestling with the same obstacles? Please share your thoughts and experiences via email at: mymindeatsfirst@gmail.com
Sep 29

Signs of BED

Does Binge Eating Disorder (BED) look different than you think? We often assume that Binge Eating Disorder is only about what happens at the dinner table—the amount eaten, the types of food chosen, or the frequency of the episodes. But for those living with it, the reality is much more complex and far-reaching. In this episode of My Mind Eats First, we move beyond the plate to explore the subtle, often unacknowledged signs that BED is present in your life. This isn't just about nutrition or calories; it’s about how a disorder can fundamentally alter how you conduct yourself in the world. In this episode, we dive into: The Deceptive Cycle of Restriction: Why "cheat days" and strict dietary rules might actually be setting the stage for something much larger.The Hidden Social Cost: How shame and body image can lead to self-isolation, causing you to withdraw from the people and milestones that matter most.Daily Rituals & Coping Mechanisms: Identifying the unexpected ways BED infiltrates your routine, your movement, and your mental processing.Beyond the Physical: Understanding why BED is so difficult to treat in isolation and how it impacts your connection to family and community. If you have ever suspected there was something "off" about your relationship with food—but couldn't quite put your finger on it—this episode may provide a much-needed reference point for your own journey. Connect with the Podcast: This is a personal audio journal. While I hope these episodes provide comfort or clarity, they are not professional medical advice. If you found value in this episode and would like to share your own experiences or signs you've identified, please reach out via email. I would love to hear from you. 📩 Email: mymindeatsfirst@gmail.com ⚠️ IMPORTANT MEDICAL DISCLAIMER: The content of "My Mind Eats First" is a personal audio journal shared for processing and educational purposes only. The host is not a therapist, doctor, or health professional. The experiences shared are raw and unfiltered; they are not intended as medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment recommendations. This content may be highly triggering. Please prioritize your own mental health and well-being. If you are struggling, please seek help from a specialized medical professional or therapist.
Sep 22

Tricks (that mostly don't work)

In the world of social media, recovery from Binge Eating Disorder (BED) is often presented as a series of simple "hacks"—quick tricks designed to silence urges and regain control. But what happens when those very tools actually make the struggle harder? In this raw and unfiltered episode of My Mind Eats First, we dive into the disconnect between popular recovery advice and the lived reality of binge eating. We explore why common strategies—ranging from dietary "nibbling" to digital tracking apps—can sometimes miss the mark, or worse, create a dangerous cycle of restriction and relapse. If you’ve ever felt like you’re failing because a "proven" method didn't work for you, this episode is a reminder that your journey is unique, your psychology matters, and recovery is about much more than just willpower. In This Episode, We Discuss:The Social Media Paradox: Why the most common advice found online may not align with your personal binge triggers.The Danger of "Healthy" Restrictions: How attempting to "limit" a binge can inadvertently fuel the next one.Willpower vs. Mindset: The exhausting reality of relying on mental strength and why a different approach is needed.Evolutionary Biology & Modern Eating: A deep dive into why our current nutritional guidelines feel so disconnected from how humans were designed to eat.The Psychology of the Individual: How your unique personality traits—from competitiveness to visual processing—change which "recovery tools" actually work.Information as a Double-Edged Sword: Navigating the thin line between helpful nutritional knowledge and obsessive mental loops. DisclaimerThis podcast shares personal, lifelong experiences with binge eating disorder for the purpose of processing and reflection. The host is not a therapist or a doctor. This content does not provide medical advice, recommendations, or treatment options. It may be highly triggering; please prioritize your own mental health and well-being while listening. Connect With UsHave a story to share, a trick that actually works for you, or just want to reach out? We would love to hear from you. Email: mymindeatsfirst@gmail.com
Sep 15

My Body after Decades of BE

In this raw and unfiltered entry into my personal audio journal, I turn my attention inward, on what has been happening to my physical body over years of struggle. This isn't a medical diagnosis or a "how-to" guide; it is an honest documentation of survival, resilience, and the unexpected ways our bodies react to decades of abuse. In this Episode: The Myth of Immunity: Why we think our bodies can handle whatever we put through them, versus the hard truth of long-term neglect.The Sleep Disruption Cycle: How digestion and stress transform night time into a struggle for rest rather than recovery.The Failure of Traditional Advice: Exploring why warnings from medical professionals often fail to spark immediate change in those fighting eating disorders.The Path Forward: A candid look at the difficulty of resetting daily routines when your body has adapted to chaos. Important Listener Warning This podcast is a personal audio journal designed for processing and sharing raw experiences regarding Binge Eating Disorder (BED). It contains triggering content regarding food, health struggles, and negative self-talk. Please listen at your own discretion and prioritize your well-being. There is no medical advice given here—only lived experience. Connect If this episode resonates with you, or if you have feedback and thoughts on recovery journeys, I am reachable via email. Email: mymindeatsfirst@gmail.com
Sep 8

My Experience with GLP-1s

In this episode, we dive into the complex intersection of medication and mental health. You’ve heard about the weight loss revolution. But what happens when you are living with a Binge Eating Disorder? In this personal audio journal entry, I share my unfiltered experience trying two of the most common GLP-1 medications: Semaglutide and Tirzepatide. The promise on the label is simple: suppress appetite, reduce calorie intake, lose weight. But when you pair a hunger-suppressing drug with an emotional coping disorder, does it actually work? Or does it create a new set of challenges that traditional therapy alone couldn't solve? I explore what the medication feels like on a daily basis, how it impacts your relationship with food beyond just numbers on a scale, and why "feeling full" doesn't always mean "healed." In This Episode: The Reality of GLP-1s: What these hormones actually do to your body versus what you might expect.The Tolerance Trap: Why the feeling of fullness can become unpredictable over time.Therapy vs. Medicine: The conflict between meal scheduling protocols and medication side effects.True Recovery: Distinguishing between weight loss and improving your relationship with food.Emotional Eating: Why eating to cope doesn't change just because you aren't physically hungry anymore. ⚠️ Important Listener Warning & Disclaimer This podcast is a personal audio journal, not medical advice. I am not a doctor or a therapist. The content discussed in this episode contains themes related to binge eating and weight management that may be triggering if you have a history of an eating disorder. Please proceed with caution. If the content compromises your well-being, please turn off immediately. Any changes regarding medication or treatment should always be made under the supervision of your own health professional. 💌 Connect With Me: If you have thoughts to share or want to support the mission, reach out via email at mymindeatsfirst@gmail.com.
Sep 1

What BE is for me

In today’s episode, I step back from the clinical definitions and ask myself the one question that matters most: What does binge eating actually mean for me? This episode is a deep dive into my personal definition of binge eating, how it functions as a coping mechanism, and why trying to force ourselves into other people's boxes (or therapeutic tools) sometimes makes the cycle stronger, not weaker. In This Episode: Redefining the Noise: Why I don't experience "food noise," but something much louder and more painful that dictates my choices. The Coping Mechanism: Exploring how our bodies become a barometer for our emotional well-being when we aren't taught to sit with feelings. Perfectionism & Analysis Paralysis: The unexpected link between needing things to be "perfect" and the urge to escape into pain. Challenging Standard Tools: Why certain therapeutic techniques that work for others might trigger a different reaction in your nervous system. 🌐 Show Links: Contact Me & Share Feedback: Send an email to mymindeatsfirst@gmail.com with any comments, reactions, or topics you'd like to hear in future episodes. ⚠️ Important Disclaimer This is a personal audio journal. I am not a therapist, a doctor, or a health professional. The content shared here is intended for my own processing and may resonate with others, but it should never be considered medical advice or treatment. Trigger Warning: Please listen at your own discretion. This episode discusses behaviors and feelings related to Binge Eating Disorder (BED) that can be triggering. If you feel overwhelmed by the content, please stop listening immediately.
Aug 25

Types of Binges

Episode Summary: It is rarely just about food. In this deeply personal and raw episode, we move beyond the calories and the shame to explore the architecture of binge eating behavior. Many people assume that Binge Eating Disorder (BED) follows a generic script. But for those of us living with it, the experience is incredibly unique. In Episode 06: The Hidden Patterns Behind the Binge, I’m breaking down the specific rituals, triggers, and psychological states that drive different types of binging behaviors. What to Expect: A Focus on Behavior Over Nutrition: We are not talking about weight loss or dieting here. This is purely an exploration of the emotional and behavioral mechanics surrounding eating when it’s no longer hunger-based. The "Ideal" Ritual: Discover how some binges become planned events, turning into a complex ritual involving entertainment, isolation, and specific psychological triggers like watching others succeed. Emotional Triggers: Why can work stress or even professional praise sometimes lead to the same outcome? We discuss masking feelings and using food as a coping mechanism for sudden emotional rushes. The Thinking Connection: How cognitive load and movement (pacing, chewing) can subconsciously lead back to the kitchen. Unique Coping vs. Generic Advice: An honest look at why standard treatments sometimes fail to address the specific ways individuals use binge eating to navigate their daily lives. Important Warning & Disclaimer: This podcast is a personal audio journal. I am not a therapist, doctor, or health professional. The content in this episode is highly triggering and deals with raw experiences of living with a binge eating disorder. Please protect your mental health and turn this off immediately if it compromises your mind or triggers distress. This content is for processing purposes only and does not constitute medical advice. Why Listen: If you have ever felt that the "textbook" definition of BED doesn’t fit your experience, this episode is designed to give you a voice. You are not alone in how unique your relationship with food has become. By identifying specific patterns—whether it’s planning a binge as an escape or using food to settle your mind during deep thinking—you begin to understand the function behind the behavior. Connect & Share: This podcast does not rely on ads or algorithms; it relies on community support. If you made it this far, I want to hear from you. Do you experience similar patterns? Do you have a different way that your mind and body interact during these moments? 📧 Contact Me: mymindeatsfirst@gmail.com Tags: Binge Eating Disorder, BED Support, Mental Health Journal, Emotional Coping Mechanisms, Personal Recovery Story, Food Psychology, Living with Disordered Eating.

A personal audio journal about living with binge eating disorder

Creator

BED Patient
Years Active

2026
Episodes

13
Rating

Explicit
Copyright

© All rights reserved
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My Mind Eats First