How I Killed My Mother

Jon-David

5.0 (2)
Personal Journals

I didn't kill my mother. But for years... I believed I had. This is the personal true story of what really happened. And when my mother died, I thought I knew the story. I was wrong. Over twenty episodes, I revisit childhood, family secrets, caregiving, addiction, shame, humor, spirituality, psychics, and forgiveness. Somewhere along the way... I finally found peace.

Sep 18

The End

Every Ending Is the Beginning of Something Better | How I Killed My Mother Podcast Every ending leaves us with a choice. We can spend our lives mourning what we've lost… Or we can begin building what comes next. In the moving conclusion to How I Killed My Mother, Jon-David reflects on the extraordinary journey that began as a few stories about his mother and unexpectedly became a profound exploration of forgiveness, spirituality, family, resilience, and personal transformation. Looking back on the moments that reshaped his life—from childhood memories and heartbreaking loss to unexpected spiritual experiences, career upheaval, caregiving, and finding a new home in the North Carolina mountains—Jon-David discovers a truth that only became visible after years of reflection: Our greatest disappointments often become the very experiences that lead us to where we were always meant to be. Rather than offering easy answers about life, death, or the afterlife, Jon-David leaves listeners with something far more hopeful: the belief that growth is always possible, healing never truly ends, and the people we love continue shaping our lives in ways both seen and unseen. This episode also serves as a bridge to the next chapter of Jon-David's journey: Saving the Father, an upcoming memoir podcast about caregiving, Parkinson's disease, family, spirituality, and finding purpose through one of life's greatest challenges. This episode explores themes of: • Personal transformation and lifelong growth • Forgiveness and second chances • Family, caregiving, and resilience • Spirituality and continuing bonds • Purpose, hope, and new beginnings • Reinvention after hardship • The courage to keep becoming How I Killed My Mother is a memoir podcast about family, forgiveness, humor, spirituality, caregiving, and discovering that our greatest struggles can become our greatest teachers. If you enjoy memoir podcasts that blend heartfelt storytelling with humor, personal growth, and spiritual reflection, you're in the right place. This final chapter reminds us that healing is never a destination. It is a lifelong practice of choosing love over fear, curiosity over certainty, and hope over despair. Sometimes the stories we think are ending are simply preparing us for the ones we were always meant to tell. Visit HowIKilledMyMother.com to learn more about the podcast, receive updates about the upcoming memoir, join the mailing list, and explore bonus content. If this podcast has made you laugh, cry, reflect, forgive, or see your own family a little differently, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone whose life might be changed by a story of hope. ________________________________________ "I thought I was writing about my mother. In the end, she was helping me become the man I was always capable of being." — Jon-David
Sep 14

The Fix Up

The Blind Date My Mother Arranged from the Other Side | How I Killed My Mother Podcast What if the people who love us never stop looking out for us? In this heartfelt, humorous, and unexpectedly romantic episode of How I Killed My Mother, Jon-David shares a series of extraordinary reunions that challenge the way he thinks about timing, love, healing, and second chances. After reconnecting with his first great love, Kyle, Jon-David unexpectedly hears from another man who shaped his life—his childhood sweetheart, Chuck. Their long-awaited conversation brings unexpected honesty, decades-old confessions, and a new understanding of a relationship that had quietly influenced nearly every romance that followed. But that isn't the greatest surprise. Months earlier, psychic medium Gina Versace-Fiore had delivered an unexpected message from Jon-David's late mother: "I'm going to bring you someone." As the holidays unfold during the uncertainty of the COVID-19 pandemic, an unexpected phone call—and a spontaneous reunion in Florida—leaves Jon-David wondering whether coincidence alone can explain the remarkable timing of life's most meaningful encounters. Filled with humor, self-reflection, and heartfelt honesty, this chapter explores the possibility that healing sometimes arrives disguised as an old friend, an unfinished conversation, or a chance to begin believing in love again. This episode explores themes of: • Love, timing, and second chances • Revisiting past relationships with compassion • Forgiveness and emotional healing • Trust, intuition, and spiritual guidance • Letting go of old stories about ourselves • Hope after heartbreak • Remaining open to life's unexpected possibilities How I Killed My Mother is a memoir podcast about family, forgiveness, humor, spirituality, caregiving, and discovering that our greatest struggles can become our greatest teachers. If you enjoy memoir podcasts that blend heartfelt storytelling with humor, personal growth, and spiritual reflection, you're in the right place. This chapter beautifully illustrates one of the memoir's central ideas: healing doesn't always come by changing the past. Sometimes it comes from seeing the past differently—and realizing that life still has new chapters waiting to be written. Visit HowIKilledMyMother.com to learn more about the podcast, receive updates about the upcoming memoir, join the mailing list, and explore bonus content. If this episode reminds you that it's never too late for forgiveness, friendship, or even an unexpected new beginning, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who believes life still has a few wonderful surprises left. ________________________________________ "Maybe the greatest love story wasn't the one my mother was trying to give me. Maybe it was teaching me to believe that my story wasn't over." — Jon-David
Sep 13

The Inked Medium

The Psychic Medium Who Gave My Mother One More Conversation | How I Killed My Mother Podcast Can love continue a conversation after death? In one of the memoir's most extraordinary and uplifting chapters, Jon-David shares the remarkable story of meeting psychic medium Gina Versace-Fiore—known to many as The Inked Medium—during an online spiritual gathering in the months following the COVID-19 lockdown. Expecting little more than an interesting evening, Jon-David instead experiences a conversation that challenges everything he thought he knew about grief, signs, intuition, and the possibility that the people we love may continue walking beside us long after they leave this world. As Gina describes details she could not have known—including Marie's unmistakable personality, her family's playful sense of humor, and intimate moments surrounding her passing—Jon-David begins seeing his mother's story through an entirely new lens. More surprising still, he discovers that what he once dismissed as coincidence may have been small acts of love waiting patiently to be recognized. Whether you believe in psychic mediums, spiritual communication, synchronicity, or simply the healing power of hope, this chapter isn't about convincing you of any one belief. It's about exploring the possibility that love has more ways of reaching us than we sometimes imagine. This episode explores themes of: • Grief and continuing relationships after loss • Psychic mediums and personal spiritual experiences • Signs, synchronicity, and intuition • Family, memory, and enduring love • Hope, healing, and personal transformation • Faith, curiosity, and open-mindedness • Finding comfort after goodbye How I Killed My Mother is a memoir podcast about family, forgiveness, humor, spirituality, caregiving, and discovering that our greatest struggles can become our greatest teachers. If you enjoy memoir podcasts that blend heartfelt storytelling with humor, personal growth, and spiritual reflection, you're in the right place. This chapter marks another turning point in Jon-David's healing journey. Rather than asking whether his mother is gone, he begins asking a different question: What if love simply changes the way it communicates? Visit HowIKilledMyMother.com to learn more about the podcast, receive updates about the upcoming memoir, join the mailing list, and explore bonus content. If this episode encourages you to think differently about grief—or reminds you of someone whose presence you still feel—please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who believes love is sometimes too big to be limited by goodbye. ________________________________________ "Maybe heaven isn't farther away than we think. Maybe we just haven't learned how to listen yet." — Jon-David
Sep 12

Something Was Wrong

Looking for a Diagnosis… and Finding Myself Instead | How I Killed My Mother Podcast What if the biggest mystery of your life isn't what happened to you—but who you became because of it? In one of the most revealing and self-reflective episodes of How I Killed My Mother, Jon-David turns the spotlight away from his mother and onto himself. After spending a lifetime examining family relationships, heartbreak, success, failure, and forgiveness, he begins asking a more uncomfortable question: "Was something wrong with me?" Inspired by the acclaimed true-crime podcast Something Was Wrong, Jon-David explores the psychology of manipulation, control, narcissism, trauma, codependency, and the stories we tell ourselves about who we are. Along the way, he bravely revisits his own relationships, friendships, and past behavior with remarkable honesty, accepting responsibility for the moments when his own insecurities caused pain to people he loved. But this isn't a story about diagnosis. It's a story about self-awareness. With humor, humility, and compassion, Jon-David discovers that growth doesn't come from labeling ourselves. It comes from understanding the choices we've made—and recognizing that every day offers an opportunity to make different ones. This episode explores themes of: • Personal accountability and emotional growth • Family dynamics and learned behavior • Trauma, control, and codependency • Friendship, regret, and reconciliation • Self-forgiveness and healing • Psychology, identity, and resilience • Becoming the person you choose to be How I Killed My Mother is a memoir podcast about family, forgiveness, humor, spirituality, caregiving, and discovering that our greatest struggles can become our greatest teachers. If you enjoy memoir podcasts that blend heartfelt storytelling with humor, personal growth, and spiritual reflection, you're in the right place. This chapter marks one of the memoir's most important turning points. After spending much of his life searching for explanations outside himself, Jon-David discovers that lasting change begins not with blame or diagnosis, but with honesty, responsibility, and the courage to grow. Visit HowIKilledMyMother.com to learn more about the podcast, receive updates about the upcoming memoir, join the mailing list, and explore bonus content. If this episode encourages you to look at your own life with a little more compassion and a little less judgment, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who's learning that growth begins the moment we stop pretending we're finished growing. ________________________________________ "The greatest discovery I made wasn't what was wrong with me. It was realizing I was finally becoming the person I'd been trying to find all along." — Jon-David
Sep 12

20: I See Butterflies

Butterflies, Signs, and the Unexpected Ways Love Continues | How I Killed My Mother Podcast What if the people we love never really leave us? One year after his mother's passing, Jon-David returns to Northern California to spend time with his father and brother as they begin navigating life without Marie. What starts as a simple family outing floating down the Sacramento River soon becomes one of the most meaningful experiences of Jon-David's life. Surrounded by nature, memories, and the quiet beauty his father taught him to appreciate as a child, Jon-David begins noticing something he has come to recognize as deeply personal: yellow butterflies. For Jon-David, they become more than beautiful moments in nature. They become reminders of connection, comfort, and the enduring feeling that love doesn't simply disappear when someone dies. As the episode unfolds, Jon-David reflects on synchronicity, intuition, grief, family, and the extraordinary experiences that gradually transformed his understanding of life, death, and the possibility that relationships continue in ways we don't always expect or understand. Whether you see butterflies as coincidence, symbolism, or something more mysterious, this chapter invites every listener to reflect on the ways love continues to shape us long after someone is gone. This episode explores themes of: • Grief and continuing bonds • Family after loss • Nature, symbolism, and healing • Spirituality and personal experience • Synchronicity and meaningful coincidence • Brothers, fathers, and shared memories • Hope beyond goodbye How I Killed My Mother is a memoir podcast about family, forgiveness, humor, spirituality, caregiving, and discovering that our greatest struggles can become our greatest teachers. If you enjoy memoir podcasts that blend heartfelt storytelling with humor, personal growth, and spiritual reflection, you're in the right place. This chapter also marks the beginning of a new conversation within the memoir—one that explores not only healing after loss, but the surprising ways Jon-David believes love continues to guide the living long after death. Visit HowIKilledMyMother.com to learn more about the podcast, receive updates about the upcoming memoir, join the mailing list, and explore bonus content. If this episode reminds you of someone you've loved—or of a moment that felt too meaningful to dismiss as coincidence—please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who believes that love sometimes speaks in quiet and unexpected ways. ________________________________________ "Maybe butterflies aren't proof of heaven. Maybe they're reminders to keep looking for love after loss." — Jon-David
Sep 10

Hot Jesus

My Mother's Perfect Eulogy Was Written Fifty-Five Years Before She Died | How I Killed My Mother Podcast Sometimes the greatest gift a loved one leaves behind isn't planned. It's discovered exactly when you need it most. In this unforgettable episode of How I Killed My Mother, Jon-David recounts the remarkable day of his mother's funeral—a celebration of life filled with unexpected humor, family drama, heartfelt memories, and what he believes was one final act of love from Marie herself. As he struggles with the impossible task of finding the right words to honor his mother, an extraordinary discovery changes everything. Hidden among old family keepsakes is a forgotten high school newspaper containing an interview with a teenage Marie—written more than half a century before her death. What follows becomes one of the most unforgettable moments of Jon-David's life. Standing before family and lifelong friends, he realizes he doesn't need to write a eulogy at all. His mother already had. Blending outrageous humor with profound tenderness, this chapter reminds us that the people we love often continue guiding us long after they're gone—and sometimes they leave exactly what we need, waiting to be found at precisely the right moment. This episode explores themes of: • Celebrations of life and remembrance • Family traditions and shared memories • Mothers and lasting legacies • Humor in the midst of grief • Spiritual connection after loss • Finding meaning through unexpected discoveries • Love that continues across generations How I Killed My Mother is a memoir podcast about family, forgiveness, humor, spirituality, caregiving, and discovering that our greatest struggles can become our greatest teachers. If you enjoy memoir podcasts that blend heartfelt storytelling with humor, personal growth, and spiritual reflection, you're in the right place. This episode also reveals one of the memoir's most extraordinary moments—a discovery that forever changes the way Jon-David understands coincidence, faith, and the enduring relationship he continues to share with his mother. Visit HowIKilledMyMother.com to learn more about the podcast, receive updates about the upcoming memoir, join the mailing list, and explore bonus content. If this episode reminds you that the people we love often leave behind gifts we don't recognize until years later, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who believes love has remarkable ways of finding us. ________________________________________ "I thought I had to write my mother's eulogy. She had already written it herself—I just needed to find it." — Jon-David
Sep 10

A Mother's Patience

Living with Guilt, Finding Grace, and the Patience of a Mother's Love | How I Killed My Mother Podcast What if the hardest person to forgive isn't someone else—but yourself? In this deeply reflective episode of How I Killed My Mother, Jon-David begins exploring the emotional aftermath of his mother's passing. After finally sharing the story behind the title of the memoir, he now confronts the question that remained long after the funeral was over: How do you live with grief, guilt, and the belief that you may have helped someone you loved die? Through childhood memories, spiritual experiences, and deeply personal reflection, Jon-David revisits the remarkable patience of the woman who raised him. A simple Mother's Day card from first grade becomes an unexpected metaphor for a lifetime of unconditional love—a love that, even after death, continues teaching him compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance. As he reflects on the extraordinary events surrounding his mother's passing, Jon-David doesn't ask listeners to adopt his beliefs about spirituality or the afterlife. Instead, he invites them to consider something more universal: how we carry the people we love long after they're gone, and how healing often begins when we stop searching for certainty and start embracing grace. This episode explores themes of: • Grief and learning to live after loss • Self-forgiveness and emotional healing • Mothers and unconditional love • Spirituality, faith, and personal experience • Signs, memories, and continuing bonds • Guilt, responsibility, and acceptance • Finding peace after profound loss How I Killed My Mother is a memoir podcast about family, forgiveness, humor, spirituality, caregiving, and discovering that our greatest struggles can become our greatest teachers. If you enjoy memoir podcasts that blend heartfelt storytelling with humor, personal growth, and spiritual reflection, you're in the right place. This chapter marks the beginning of Jon-David's search for meaning after his mother's death. Rather than concluding the story, it opens a new conversation about grief, spiritual growth, and the lifelong process of understanding the people we love—and ourselves. Visit HowIKilledMyMother.com to learn more about the podcast, receive updates about the upcoming memoir, join the mailing list, and explore bonus content. If this episode speaks to you, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who is learning that healing doesn't always come from finding answers—it sometimes comes from learning to ask gentler questions. ________________________________________ "The greatest gift my mother left me wasn't permission for her to go. It was permission for me to keep living." — Jon-David
Sep 9

How I Killed My Mother

The Story Behind the Title | How I Killed My Mother Podcast This is the episode you've been waiting for. After sixteen chapters of laughter, heartbreak, forgiveness, and healing, Jon-David finally tells the story behind the title How I Killed My Mother. When his mother's successful lung surgery is followed by a devastating and unexpected medical crisis, Jon-David travels to Northern California to help care for the woman who had become not only his mother, but one of his closest friends. What follows challenges everything he thought he knew about love, guilt, faith, responsibility, and what it truly means to help someone at the end of life. As his mother quietly reveals that she is ready to leave this world, Jon-David is forced to confront impossible questions that have no simple answers. Is honoring someone's wishes an act of love? Can guilt and compassion exist together? And how do we live with the choices we make when there is no perfect outcome? With extraordinary honesty, humility, and tenderness, Jon-David shares the most difficult story he has ever told—not to provide answers, but to invite listeners into one of the most profound moments of his life. This episode explores themes of: • End-of-life caregiving • Family love and responsibility • Grief, guilt, and forgiveness • Spirituality and personal faith • Autonomy and dignity at the end of life • The complexity of saying goodbye • Love that continues beyond death How I Killed My Mother is a memoir podcast about family, forgiveness, humor, spirituality, caregiving, and discovering that our greatest struggles can become our greatest teachers. If you enjoy memoir podcasts that blend heartfelt storytelling with humor, personal growth, and spiritual reflection, you're in the right place. This chapter is the emotional heart of the memoir. Everything that came before has been leading here, and everything that follows grows from what Jon-David learned during these extraordinary final days with his mother. Visit HowIKilledMyMother.com to learn more about the podcast, receive updates about the upcoming memoir, join the mailing list, and explore bonus content. If this episode moves you, please follow the podcast, leave a review, and share it with someone who has loved, lost, cared for, or said goodbye to someone they will never forget. ________________________________________ "I didn't kill my mother. I loved her enough to help her leave the way she wanted to." — Jon-David

5

out of 5

2 Ratings

I didn't kill my mother. But for years... I believed I had. This is the personal true story of what really happened. And when my mother died, I thought I knew the story. I was wrong. Over twenty episodes, I revisit childhood, family secrets, caregiving, addiction, shame, humor, spirituality, psychics, and forgiveness. Somewhere along the way... I finally found peace.

Creator

Jon-David
Years Active

2026
Episodes

25
Rating

Explicit
Copyright

© 2026
Show Website

How I Killed My Mother