F* Them Coping Skills

F* Them Coping Skills
  • 5.0 (2)
  • Mental Health

The world is on fire and your therapist told you to take a deep breath. We get it — we are the therapist. F* Them Coping Skills is a podcast where two licensed therapists rethink mental health advice out loud, together. We love the work. We also think a lot of the conventional wisdom we were trained to hand out isn't built for the world we're actually living in — and pretending otherwise isn't helping anyone. Hosted by Varayna and Anne, two Atlanta-based LPCs and private-practice owners, each episode digs into the topics we're all navigating: parenting, relationships, work, money, bodies, grief, being single, being tired, being human. We bring what we know as clinicians, we admit what we don't, and we make room for the honest, complicated conversations that don't usually get to happen on the therapy couch. Not a substitute for therapy. Not against therapy. Just two therapists thinking out loud — and hoping you'll think along with us.

Episodes

  1. Oct 28

    Horror Movies, True Crime & Our Nervous Systems

    Halloween is almost here, so Varayna and Anne are asking why some people love being scared and others want it as far away as possible. Anne loves true crime, though she won’t watch scary movies. Varayna sticks to Golden Girls and Living Single. Together they get into the science of “safe fear,” the difference between a quick adrenaline rush and long-term anxiety, and why your nervous system might be saying “no thanks.” Varayna shares results from her informal survey of 23 friends and colleagues. Most of them don’t like being scared, and every Black woman she asked said no. They talk about cultural trauma, the justice that films like Get Out and Sinners can offer, and how a lot of entertainment makes trauma look glamorous. Along the way, Anne gets an unplanned therapy session about why she reads plot summaries of horror movies she’ll never watch. In this episode: (01:36) Anne’s surprise talk at The Bookbird in Avondale(05:56) The difference between being scared and being anxious(07:38) Why people like being scared: the chemical rush, sensation seeking, mastery, and social bonding(09:25) Why people don’t like it: anxiety sensitivity, past trauma, and lack of control(11:09) True crime, wanting to protect yourself, and trying to understand why people do terrible things(16:53) Scary vs. horror vs. psychological thrillers(20:14) Reading horror plot summaries to “close the loop”(21:53) Varayna’s survey: who likes being scared and who doesn’t(25:46) A middle school haunted trail and what avoiding a fear does to us(29:45) Black horror, racial justice, and Get Out and Sinners(35:18) How entertainment makes trauma look glamorous(39:17) The 1970s shaky bridge study: fear, adrenaline, and attraction(42:49) Rom-coms as our version of a thrillContent note: This episode discusses true crime, trauma, and sexual assault. Tell us: do you like being scared? Is true crime different from scary movies for you? Music licensed through Soundstripe. Code: JVIEVGF3DCUVL1RJ

  2. Oct 21

    Do Therapists Actually Care About Us? Therapy Demystified, From Finding Your Fit to Breaking Up

    What actually makes a good therapist, and how do you know when you’ve found one? In this episode, Varayna and Anne pull back the curtain on the therapy process to help you get more out of it. They start with a shout-out to the underrated power of group therapy, then get honest about what makes a therapist the right fit. It takes ethics and skill, but it also takes chemistry, trust, and sometimes a shared sense of dark humor. They also answer the question many clients secretly wonder about: what do therapists really think and feel about their clients? (Short answer: a lot of care, held inside professional boundaries.) From there, they walk through their favorite approaches, from CBT and DBT to ACT, solution-focused work, brainspotting, and EMDR. They wrap up with how to spot green and red flags, why it’s worth giving a new therapist a few sessions, and how to “break up” with a therapist when it’s not working. In this episode: Why group therapy is so powerful, and why more people should try itA good therapist is both a scientist and an artistHow humor builds safety and helps lead to real breakthroughsWhat therapists feel for their clients, and why they “can’t be married to the outcome”The difference between a therapeutic relationship and a friendshipCBT, DBT, and ACT: what they are and why they’re so usefulBrainspotting, EMDR, and the more science-based side of trauma workDon’t forget the basics: Did you eat? Did you sleep? Did you drink water?What to look for early on: trust and safety, curiosity instead of a script, and real collaborationRed flags, like a distracted therapist, a lack of privacy, or disregard for the therapy spaceShould certain diagnoses always see a specialist?When and how to refer out, and why that’s a sign of a good therapistHow to end therapy, and why closure sessions matter, especially for kidsGood therapists are always learning and consulting with peersTakeaway: The right therapist is the one who works for you. Finding them can take some trial and error, and that’s part of the process. F* Them Coping Skills is hosted by licensed professional counselors Varayna and Anne. This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. Music licensed through Soundstripe. Code: JVIEVGF3DCUVL1RJ

  3. Oct 14

    Cancel Culture, No Contact, and the Case for Nuance

    Does canceling someone actually change anything? Varayna and Anne start with the backlash to Taylor Swift’s wedding and end up much closer to home: what do you do when the person you want to cancel is your parent, your sibling, or your oldest friend? They get into who pays the price for getting canceled, why public shaming rarely leaves room for repair, and why “just go no contact” is almost never as simple as the internet makes it sound. In this episode: Why women seem to get canceled harder than men, and who gets to come backThe pros and cons of call-out culture: accountability and a voice for people who wouldn’t otherwise have one, versus shaming that changes nothingThe sarcastic tweet that cost a woman her job before her plane landed, and what the person who made it go viral came to regretWhy most people don’t feel 100% clear about cutting off family, and what that means for holidays and birthdaysBoundaries vs. rules: a boundary doesn’t change the other person, it decides what you do“Lizard brain,” and why it applies to grown adults as much as toddlersA question to ask when you love someone and can’t stand their behavior: what honors both parts of you?When no contact is the right call, and why you don’t need anyone’s permission to make itWhat Ms. Rachel can teach us about being clear on your values and not backing downYour homework: get clear on your values, and stand on themMentioned in this episode: Set Boundaries, Find Peace by Nedra Glover TawwabThe Let Them Theory by Mel RobbinsMs. RachelMusic licensed through Soundstripe. Code: JVIEVGF3DCUVL1RJ

  4. Sep 30

    Living with ADHD: Is It Me or Is It Society?

    Is ADHD a disorder, or is it a different kind of brain trying to survive in a world that wasn't built for it? In this episode, Anne and Varayna sit down with Jessie, Anne's friend since sixth grade and the Chief Operations Officer of Blue House, to talk about her ADHD diagnosis at 32 and what life with it really looks like. Varayna brings the tough questions: Are we pathologizing people who just don't fit a narrow mold? Is this a diagnosis, or a society problem? Jessie pushes back with honesty about the everyday struggles, from missed deadlines and forgotten tasks to a pile of unreturned jeans that sat in her closet for a year. Together they explore medication, coping skills, the role of community, why ADHD isn't a "superpower," and what it would look like if we simply understood how different brains work. It's a real, loving debate, and nobody had to say "banana." This episode contains explicit language. This podcast is for informational and entertainment purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health care. Music licensed through Soundstripe. Code: JVIEVGF3DCUVL1RJ

  5. Sep 23

    Dating and Relationships as a Therapist

    What happens when the person across the table knows a little too much about attachment styles and red flags? On this episode of F* Them Coping Skills, Anne turns the questions on her co-host Varayna to find out what it's really like to be single and dating as a therapist. Varayna opens up about why telling a date what she does for a living changes the energy of the conversation, why being "genuinely curious" gets mistaken for "therapist mode," and how seeing the long-term outcome of unhealthy dynamics in session shapes what she will and won't accept in her own relationships. Anne also asks about the vulnerability of being a searchable professional while trying to stay private on dating apps, why capacity and reciprocity matter so much when you hold space for others all day, and whether Varayna feels optimistic about dating (spoiler: over the long haul, yes, just maybe not in the near future). Plus, a house-building analogy that captures the heartbreak of two people wanting the same thing but bringing different tools, and Anne's story of a surprisingly effective New York City pickup line from back in the day. Music licensed through Soundstripe. Code: JVIEVGF3DCUVL1RJ

  6. Sep 16

    Episode 2: On Being a Therapist Mom — Firecrackers, Gentle Parenting, and Letting Go of Control

    This week Varayna interviews Anne, a mom of two (ages 7 and 4) who also runs a private therapy practice and a coworking space for therapists. They dig into what it really looks like to raise kids who stay true to themselves in a world that's constantly trying to socialize that out of them — especially when it comes to gender, sleep, screen time, and food. They talk through the difference between gentle parenting and permissive parenting (spoiler: they're not the same thing), why co-sleeping worked for one kid and not the other, the guilt of not packing lunches, and why letting a four-year-old mix split pea soup with chips and water might actually be a parenting win. Along the way: the anxiety of raising a son inside the patriarchy, why kids deserve more respect in public than they usually get, and the "worst parenting advice" both hosts have ever received.

  7. Season 1, Episode 1 Trailer

    Episode 1: Who We Are and Why We're Here

    Welcome to F* Them Coping Skills. In our very first episode, we throw out the outline we prepared and figure out what this podcast is actually going to be — in real time. Varayna and Anne introduce themselves, walk through the winding professional paths that brought them to private practice in Atlanta, and get into the why behind starting this show: a shared conviction that a lot of the conventional wisdom therapists are trained to hand out isn't built for the world we're actually living in. Consider this the pilot. The mission statement. The permission slip.

  • 1 Trailer
    6 Episodes

Trailer

Ratings & Reviews

5
out of 5
2 Ratings

About

The world is on fire and your therapist told you to take a deep breath. We get it — we are the therapist. F* Them Coping Skills is a podcast where two licensed therapists rethink mental health advice out loud, together. We love the work. We also think a lot of the conventional wisdom we were trained to hand out isn't built for the world we're actually living in — and pretending otherwise isn't helping anyone. Hosted by Varayna and Anne, two Atlanta-based LPCs and private-practice owners, each episode digs into the topics we're all navigating: parenting, relationships, work, money, bodies, grief, being single, being tired, being human. We bring what we know as clinicians, we admit what we don't, and we make room for the honest, complicated conversations that don't usually get to happen on the therapy couch. Not a substitute for therapy. Not against therapy. Just two therapists thinking out loud — and hoping you'll think along with us.

Information

  • Creator
    F* Them Coping Skills
  • Years Active
    2026
  • Episodes
    7
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © 2026 F* Them Coping Skills
  • Show Website
    F* Them Coping Skills