Eliciting Esperance: Notes on Living with Sarah Berke

Sarah Berke
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In Notes on Living I make sense of what it means to be alive by exploring deeper questions hiding in everyday moments. Sometimes they're serious, sometimes they're light, but they're almost always a little messy. Fair warning: I don't hold back from saying what I think and I don't avoid hard topics. If you're up for a raw and vulnerable look at life as we're living it, then welcome. I'm glad you're here. elicitingesperance.substack.com

  1. Oct 16

    Welcome to Notes on Living

    A few years ago, the word esperance popped up as the word of the day in my dictionary app, and I couldn't let it go. This is the story of how a word that sounds like the love child of optimism and hope became the heart of this community. To read more, click here. If you'd like to receive these essays in both written and audio form, subscribe to Eliciting Esperance here. And if this episode resonated with you, please consider sharing it with a friend or rating the podcast. Both help more people find this work, and I'm grateful. Esperance (es-per-uhns): the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. Thank you to Joris Vermeer for the use of their human-created music for this podcast. Get full access to Eliciting Esperance at elicitingesperance.substack.com/subscribe

    Welcome to Notes on Living

  2. Oct 9

    The book ban is not the point.

    Warning: I swear in this audio/video, and there are mature topics discussed. I would advise not listening/watching to it with kids around. It's possible to be so focused on the argument we're having that we lose sight of what actually matters. This is about the stories we tell, the narratives we use to keep people from hearing one another, and what it takes to have meaningful conversations about difficult things. A personal note: As a person who broadcasts a lot of myself online, I try to be as transparent and authentic as I can. My children, however, are not of age to make such a choice. So out of respect for their privacy (and potentially safety, because the internet is a wild place) I am intentionally not specifying the name of the county/school district in which I live. If you know me personally, please don’t put any geographically identifiable information in the comments that is more specific than the state of Georgia. Click here if you’d prefer to read this content. Related links The referenced e-mail and the transcript of the superintendent’s remarks are reproduced in the comments of my initial rant about it, available here, here, and here. The full transcript of the beginning of the year superintendent's speech–unedited except to remove timestamps for readability and redact the district and superintendent’s names—here. The video is publicly available on YouTube and I used transcription software for the text version. The Georgia law referened that kids receive human trafficking awareness education annually beginning in 6th grade is O.C.G.A. § 20-2-142 — amended by HB 287 (enacted 2021), and implemented through GA DOE Rule 160-4-2-12. ALA's data on book bans. If you'd like to receive these essays in both written and audio form, subscribe to Eliciting Esperance here. And if this episode resonated with you, please consider sharing it with a friend or rating the podcast. Both help more people find this work, and I'm grateful. Esperance (es-per-uhns): the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. Thank you to Joris Vermeer for the use of their human-created music for this podcast. Get full access to Eliciting Esperance at elicitingesperance.substack.com/subscribe

  3. Sep 8

    We need to talk about Lindsay Clancy

    A content warning: if discussion around any of the subjects of postpartum psychosis, postpartum depression, the death of a child generally, or the murder of a child specifically, would be detrimental to your mental health, please skip this month. However. If you can manage it—even though these subjects are heavy—I ask you to stick with me. We can’t keep looking away from things that are hard (unless, as I said, they would adversely impact your own mental health journey—the oxygen mask has to go on you first). That said, this isn’t one to listen to with young ears around. What do we expect mothers to tolerate before we decide their suffering is serious enough to deserve compassion? This is a difficult conversation about maternal mental health, judgment, and the stories we tell about women when something unthinkable happens. Referenced Links: - The best summaries I’ve found: PBS, The Guardian, and the BBC. - Friday a friend of mine sent me this IG post (worth watching—if you don’t have IG, you don’t have to be signed in to watch—but please be aware of language you may not want your kids to hear). - In Lindsay Clancy’s case, the people who loved her saw her struggling. They tried to get her help. But it wasn’t enough (see this PBS article). I’m sure there are more ways to support moms, that’s just off the top of my head. Here is another great IG post from Libby Ward (Diary of an Honest Mom) that sums it up beautifully.  Here are some resources to help with postpartum mental health: Postpartum Support International Provider Directory Postpartum Support International’s main website, and their phone and text based resources: Call the PSI HelpLine: 1-800-944-4773 (#1 En Español or #2 English)  Text “Help” to 800-944-4773 (EN) or Text en Español: 971-203-7773 Click here if you’d prefer to read this content. If you'd like to receive these essays in both written and audio form, subscribe to Eliciting Esperance here. And if this episode resonated with you, please consider sharing it with a friend or rating the podcast. Both help more people find this work, and I'm grateful. Esperance (es-per-uhns): the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. Thank you to Joris Vermeer for the use of their human-created music for this podcast. Get full access to Eliciting Esperance at elicitingesperance.substack.com/subscribe

  4. Aug 3

    The summer that didn’t exist

    This month’s essay has no content that is inadvisable to listen to in front of little ears, if that is a consideration for you. Sometimes the summer we imagine and the summer we actually live have very little in common. This is about the expectations we put on ourselves, the realities of parenting, and what happens when life doesn't leave much room for the version we thought we'd have. Click here if you’d prefer to read this content. If you'd like to receive these essays in both written and audio form, subscribe to Eliciting Esperance here. And if this episode resonated with you, please consider sharing it with a friend or rating the podcast. Both help more people find this work, and I'm grateful. Esperance (es-per-uhns): the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. Thank you to Joris Vermeer for the use of their human-created music for this podcast. Get full access to Eliciting Esperance at elicitingesperance.substack.com/subscribe

  5. Jun 24

    When you don’t love your insides

    This month’s essay has no content that is inadvisable to listen to in front of little ears, if that is a consideration for you, but “the s**t word” is used a few times. It's one thing to recognize the parts of ourselves we'd like to change; it's another to figure out how to live with them while we're working on it. This is about self-reflection, relationships, and the sometimes uncomfortable business of becoming a person we actually like. Click here if you’d prefer to read this content. If you'd like to receive these essays in both written and audio form, subscribe to Eliciting Esperance here. And if this episode resonated with you, please consider sharing it with a friend or rating the podcast. Both help more people find this work, and I'm grateful. Esperance (es-per-uhns): the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. Thank you to Joris Vermeer for the use of their human-created music for this podcast. Get full access to Eliciting Esperance at elicitingesperance.substack.com/subscribe

  6. Apr 24

    Getting your insides to your outsides

    This episode has no content that is inadvisable to listen to in front of little ears, if that is a consideration for you. I whisper-bleeped the one use of profanity. When my youngest daughter was about six months old, I started wanting a tattoo. What followed got me thinking about identity, self-expression, and what it means to make the outside look a little more like the inside Click here if you’d prefer to read this content. If you'd like to receive these essays in both written and audio form, subscribe to Eliciting Esperance here. And if this episode resonated with you, please consider sharing it with a friend or rating the podcast. Both help more people find this work, and I'm grateful. Esperance (es-per-uhns): the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. Thank you to Joris Vermeer for the use of their human-created music for this podcast. Get full access to Eliciting Esperance at elicitingesperance.substack.com/subscribe

    Getting your insides to your outsides

  7. Feb 4

    It has to start somewhere

    Be aware that this one includes some weighty topics, so please be mindful if you have little ears present. I've been scared to speak up, even when I knew staying quiet wasn't the person I wanted to be. This is about privilege, powerlessness, and figuring out what it means to do something—even when that something feels small. Click here if you'd prefer to read this content. Related Links * Anything Mentionable is Manageable — Melinda Wenner Moyer * How to Raise Open Minded Kids in a Polarized World — Melinda Wenner Moyer and Emily Edlynn * Mattering And Why It Matters — Dr. Aliza Pressman and Jennifer Wallace * How to Talk to Kids About All the Terrible Things — Melinda Wenner Moyer and Elise Hu * For Love and Loss — Kathryn Barbash, PsyD * 10 Practical Tips for Parenting During Political Turmoil and Hard Times — Dr. Aliza Pressman * How to Talk to Kids About ICE and Keep Them Safe — Melinda Wenner Moyer Places You Can Donate (And Don’t Forget to Call Your Reps) Nationwide: * Your local community food bank. * Your local Mutual Aid. * Immigrant Defense ProjectIDP fights to end the current era of unprecedented mass criminalization, detention, and deportation through a multipronged strategy including advocacy, litigation, legal advice and training, community defense, grassroots alliances, and strategic communications. In Minnesota: * Minnesota Freedom FundMinnesota Freedom Fund works to end wealth-based detention and power build with community to dismantle the systems that turn poverty into punishment while expanding access to freedom, safety, and dignity for all Minnesotans. * Minneapolis/St. Paul Magazine Food drives, fundraisers, trainings, restaurant specials, and other resources to support immigrant communities during ICE’s massive Operation Metro Surge. * Immigrant Law Center of MinnesotaILCM is a nonprofit organization that provides free immigration legal representation to low-income immigrants and refugees in Minnesota and North Dakota. * Women’s Foundation of MinnesotaIRRF is a coalition of philanthropic leaders rooted in communities most impacted by immigration-related harm. IRRF ensures that resources move quickly, responsibly, and with community accountability to trusted organizations responding to immigration-related emergencies across Minnesota. * Midwest Immigrant Bond FundThe Midwest Immigration Bond Fund pays out bonds for residents of, and people detained in Kentucky, Illinois, Indiana, Minnesota, and Wisconsin, and fights for the abolition of immigration detention. * Community Aid Network MNCommunity Aid Network (CANMN) is a grassroots volunteer-led organization located in the Bancroft neighborhood of Minneapolis, MN. We work to build solidarity with our neighbors, organize volunteers and redistribute resources to ensure everyone has the means for dignified survival. * Central Area Neighborhood Development The Central Neighborhood Care Team (Central Care Team), is one of six strategically organized groups within a larger group of Central Neighborhood residents organizing with a twofold mission: relationship building and resistance. This GoFundMe raises funds for critical rent assistance as families stay home. * Hennepin Healthcare Foundation - Pediatric Mobile HealthcareHennepin Healthcare, the non-profit safety net health care organization, is expanding and retrofitting its Pediatric Mobile Healthcare units to make more home visits and to add maternal health care, specifically for high-risk pregnancies, as many people are not making it to appointments at this time. If you'd like to receive these essays in both written and audio form, subscribe to Eliciting Esperance here. And if this episode resonated with you, please consider sharing it with a friend or rating the podcast. Both help more people find this work, and I'm grateful. Esperance (es-per-uhns): the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. Thank you to Joris Vermeer for the use of their human-created music for this podcast Get full access to Eliciting Esperance at elicitingesperance.substack.com/subscribe

  8. 12/09/2025

    The upside of anxiety

    Loving someone means knowing you can lose them, and sometimes that knowledge is almost too much to bear. This is about the complicated relationship between love, fear, and the vulnerability that comes with being a parent. Click here if you’d prefer to read this content. If you'd like to receive these essays in both written and audio form, subscribe to Eliciting Esperance here. And if this episode resonated with you, please consider sharing it with a friend or rating the podcast. Both help more people find this work, and I'm grateful. Esperance (es-per-uhns): the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. Thank you to Joris Vermeer for the use of their human-created music for this podcast. Get full access to Eliciting Esperance at elicitingesperance.substack.com/subscribe

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In Notes on Living I make sense of what it means to be alive by exploring deeper questions hiding in everyday moments. Sometimes they're serious, sometimes they're light, but they're almost always a little messy. Fair warning: I don't hold back from saying what I think and I don't avoid hard topics. If you're up for a raw and vulnerable look at life as we're living it, then welcome. I'm glad you're here. elicitingesperance.substack.com

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