Field Manual For Pastors - Recentered Group

Ed Underwood & Joshua Gordon
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Field Manual for Pastors is a conversation between mentor to pastors Ed Underwood, founder of Recentered Group, and lay pastor Josh Gordon of TheLeadPastor.com. Ed spent forty years leading churches, soldiers, and firefighters through real crises. Each episode covers one practical piece of advice for a specific situation pastors face in ministry: a stalled decision, a difficult elder, a change that needs to happen carefully. Listen in for advice you learn in the trenches, not in seminary.

Episodes

  1. Oct 26

    Responding to the "You Never Listen..." Criticism

    Ed Underwood unpacks what's really behind the accusation "you never listen" and how a unified leadership team takes the sting out of it. This episode of our ongoing criticism series tackles a phrase that lands hard no matter how much work went into actually hearing someone: "you never listen." Ed Underwood walks through what's usually going on underneath that accusation and why it almost never has much to do with actual listening. We get into the difference between someone who's genuinely hurt and someone who's simply unhappy they didn't get their way, along with practical tools Ed's church used to prevent this kind of conflict before it started, from calendar planning to communication channels for smaller announcements. What You'll Learn Why "you never listen" almost never means what it sounds like it means How staying unified as a leadership team takes the personal sting out of criticism The difference between someone who's genuinely hurt and someone who simply didn't get their way What the wrong response to this accusation actually sounds like When this kind of conflict crosses into needing church discipline How storyboarding calendar priorities in advance can prevent this problem entirely Why announcements are such a recurring flashpoint in church culture What practical communication channels can absorb smaller complaints before they escalate Key Takeaways Remind yourself the leadership team is unified before engaging with an accusation like this Ask someone to get specific about what "not listening" actually looked like to them Shepherd someone who's genuinely hurt instead of simply reaffirming a decision Bring in other leaders when the same conflict keeps repeating without resolution Plan your calendar's priorities together in advance to head off recurring conflicts Create smaller communication channels so minor concerns don't need a public platform Never respond to this kind of criticism through text, email or social media

    Responding to the "You Never Listen..." Criticism

  2. Oct 19

    Handling the 'A Lot of People Think' Criticism

    Every pastor has heard the phrase, and every pastor dreads it. Someone tells you "a lot of people" are unhappy about a decision, and suddenly you're trying to defend yourself against a crowd you can't see and can't count. In this episode of the criticism series, Ed Underwood breaks down exactly why this vague kind of pushback works so well and what to do the moment you hear it. Ed's answer is simple but not easy: ask who, specifically, is upset. We talk through a real situation from a worship team decision, why this question protects both the pastor and the people actually involved, and what it means for a church's health when this kind of vague criticism keeps showing up. What You'll Learn Why the phrase "a lot of people" is one of the most effective manipulative tools in a church How to respond the first time you hear a vague reference to unnamed critics Why sincere concerns and manufactured pressure require very different responses What it means when someone still won't identify who's actually upset How a pattern of vague criticism can reveal deeper issues in a church's culture Why some seasons of ministry require a pastor to consider whether it's time to move on What it looks like to lead through disagreement without giving away a false win Why criticism should still never be answered through text, email or social media   Key Takeaways Ask who exactly is upset before responding to a vague claim of widespread concern Set the expectation early that this kind of criticism will always be followed up on Consider the source, since a trusted voice raising a concern deserves more weight than a stranger's Refuse to give a decision away just because someone implies broad opposition Treat a repeating pattern of vague criticism as a signal about your church's overall health Bring people who are actually concerned into a direct, honest conversation Recognize when the real issue is a leadership team, not a single decision

  3. Oct 11

    When Someone Brings Up Your Past Mistakes

    This episode launches a new run inside the Field Manual for Pastors focused entirely on criticism, and Ed Underwood starts with the passage that changed how he receives it. In 2 Samuel 16, a man throws stones and curses at King David, and instead of striking back, David wonders out loud if God might be speaking through it. For Ed, that single moment reshaped forty years of how he handled being criticized. From there we get specific. What do you do when someone drags up a mistake you already owned, apologized for, and moved past? Ed shares stories from his own ministry, including a season where an old failure kept getting used against him, and walks through how to tell the difference between someone who is still genuinely hurt and someone using an old wound as a tool. What You'll Learn How the story of King David and Shimei can reshape a pastor's whole relationship with criticism Why criticism, even from an inappropriate source, can still carry something worth hearing The four recurring ideas this series keeps coming back to Why criticism should never be answered through email, text or social media What it feels like when someone uses your own vulnerability against you Common mistakes pastors make when an old failure resurfaces How to recognize when someone hasn't actually let go of a past hurt What it means to recognize when someone is speaking in code about an unresolved issue Key Takeaways Sit with criticism before reacting, and ask whether there's something true in it worth owning Build a small circle of people you trust enough to talk through hard feedback with Never respond to criticism in writing, since it can be picked apart and used against you When an old mistake resurfaces, ask what's really going on rather than getting defensive Avoid pressuring someone into forgiving you, since that adds pressure rather than relieving it Watch for a pattern of the same issue resurfacing in more general terms, and address it directly

  4. Sep 29 ·  Video

    'War & Peace' Prayer Requests

    Every pastor has felt it. You're standing after the service, you spot someone walking toward you, and you already know you're in for a very long story with no clear ending. In this episode of the Field Manual for Pastors, Ed Underwood breaks down what he calls the war and peace prayer request, the kind of encounter that can eat up all the limited time a pastor has to actually meet new people and check in on the ones who need it most. Ed shares practical tactics for staying available without getting cornered, including a question he picked up straight from the gospels that changed how he handles these moments for good. We also get into why this happens so often in pastor-centered church cultures, and how to end a conversation with compassion instead of guilt. What You'll Learn Why the time right after a service is some of the most valuable a pastor has How a pastor-centered church culture creates this recurring problem in the first place Simple positioning tactics that help a pastor stay available without getting stuck The question Jesus asked that became a way out of endless retellings When it's actually right to set everything else aside and stay with someone How to end a conversation without leaving someone feeling dismissed Why some people are drawn specifically to a pastor's attention and status What sustainable ministry requires when it comes to protecting your time Key Takeaways Treat the minutes right after a service as valuable, limited real estate Stay in a position where you can move rather than getting boxed into a corner Ask someone what they want God to do for them instead of hearing the whole story Recruit elders or leaders who can step in and free you to keep moving Call people back on your own terms rather than promising a vague "let's talk later" Recognize when someone is drawn to your attention because of status, not need Build boundaries into your week the same way you'd build them into a Sunday morning Chapters 00:00 - Setting up today's topic: the war and peace prayer request 02:44 - Describing the feeling of being cornered after church 03:20 - Sunday morning as prime real estate for a pastor 05:54 - How a pastor-centered culture creates this problem 07:26 - Practical tactics for staying available without getting cornered 09:59 - The question that changed everything for Ed 15:12 - When redirecting the conversation isn't the right call 17:53 - Handling guilt and calling people back on your own terms 21:38 - Why some people are drawn to a pastor's attention specifically 23:47 - Building sustainability and boundaries into long-term ministry

    'War & Peace' Prayer Requests

  5. Sep 17

    The Unfortunate Need for Stealth

    Recentered Group is built on high trust, honest communication and vulnerability, so it's a strange thing to hear Ed Underwood say that sometimes a pastor has to be stealthy. In this episode of the Field Manual for Pastors, Ed explains what he actually means: not deception, but a kind of patience that protects the mission of the church while a relationship catches up. Ed walks through two very different situations where stealth matters, from working around a well-meaning but controlling elder to letting a bad idea pass in a meeting without picking a fight over it. He also tells a much harder story, a season where he stayed quiet too long and it cost him and his wife an entire ministry. It's an honest look at the tension every pastor carries between loving people well and protecting what God is building. What You'll Learn What stealth actually means in pastoral leadership, and what it doesn't How to weigh the relational basket against the mission when the two seem to conflict Why a well-meaning but controlling leader sometimes needs time, not confrontation How to let a bad idea pass in a meeting without creating an unnecessary fight Why waiting too long to address a relational problem is its own kind of failure What warning signs suggest a relationship has quietly turned toxic How to tell when a pastor's stealth has crossed into something spiritually unhealthy Why healthy churches still require hard conversations, just at the right time Key Takeaways Distinguish between being dishonest and simply choosing the right moment to speak Give a sincere but controlling leader time to catch up to a healthier culture Let a thinking-out-loud comment pass instead of shutting it down in the moment Watch for the warning sign of talking about the same conflict every night at home Address relational tension before it becomes a threat to the mission, not after Remember that being finite means you will sometimes get the timing wrong Recognize that stealth becomes unhealthy the moment it protects you instead of the church Chapters 00:01 - Reconnecting and revisiting the field manual concept 02:18 - Introducing today's uncomfortable topic: the need for stealth 03:17 - Weighing the relational basket against the mission 06:02 - When a well-meaning but controlling elder needs patience, not confrontation 11:31 - Letting a bad idea pass without picking a fight 14:03 - The time Ed waited too long and it cost him his church 24:28 - Reading the warning signs before it's too late 27:03 - When stealth becomes spiritually unhealthy 29:31 - A closing prayer for pastors caught between mission and relationship

    The Unfortunate Need for Stealth

  6. Sep 17

    The After-Action Report

    Most churches run the same event every year and hit the same problems every year, and nobody ever stops to ask why. In this episode of the Field Manual for Pastors, Ed Underwood introduces a practice he brought over from firefighting and the army: the after action report, a simple habit of reviewing what went wrong after any major event so the same mistakes don't repeat. Ed walks through what qualifies for a review and what doesn't, who should lead one, and the rocky first few years of introducing this at Church of the Open Door, where staff took it personally before it became a normal part of a healthy culture. We also get into a congregational meeting that went sideways and how one after action report changed how those meetings are run to this day. What You'll Learn Why churches tend to repeat the same problems year after year without noticing How the after action report started as a firefighting and military practice The core questions that structure a useful after action report Why staff often take an after action report personally at first What qualifies for a review and what's simply too small to need one Who should lead the process as a church's culture around it matures How one difficult congregational meeting changed church policy for good Why an atmosphere of grace has to exist before this practice can work Key Takeaways Start every review with a genuine affirmation before moving into what didn't go well Reserve after action reports for real events, not routine weekly meetings Let the staff or team closest to an event lead their own review over time Introduce the practice on something low-stakes before tackling anything controversial Frame the goal as protecting people and improving the experience, never as blame Expect resistance from anyone who can't handle being reviewed, and take note of it Remember your identity in Christ is not tied to how a single event went Chapters 00:03 - Catching up before the field manual continues 04:16 - Defining the after action report and where it comes from 06:31 - The core questions that structure every after action report 08:17 - Why people take it personally at first 11:08 - What qualifies for an after action report, and what doesn't 13:11 - Who should lead the process 15:02 - A congregational meeting that changed how decisions get made 19:53 - How to introduce this practice without it backfiring 26:00 - Grace and identity in Christ as the foundation underneath it all

    The After-Action Report

  7. Sep 17

    Overcoming Fear-Driven Decision Making

    Every pastor knows the moment. You bring something to the board or the staff that you're convinced is right, and you watch the room shut down. Arms cross. Faces tighten. A good idea dies before it gets a real chance because everyone in the room, including you, is scared of what could go wrong. This episode kicks off a new series, the Field Manual for Pastors, with Ed Underwood. Ed spent years as an army officer and a hotshot firefighter before pastoring for four decades, and he built this series the way the military builds a field manual: one narrow, practical problem at a time. Our first topic is fear-driven decision-making, why it freezes good leaders, and what it takes to lead with faith instead of control. We get into scripture, a building project that nearly broke Ed's church before it became one of its greatest assets, and the strange comfort of realizing that most of what we fear going wrong never actually happens. What You'll Learn Why comfort, not conflict, is often the real enemy of a growing church How fear-driven decision making shows up in ordinary staff and board meetings Why "fear not" is one of the most repeated commands in scripture How the fear of a damaged reputation quietly drives cautious decisions Why chasing a perfect decision is a trap, since there are only decisions you steward and can adjust What the story of choosing Judas's replacement in Acts reveals about trusting God with high-stakes calls Why data and analytics can't replace discernment in shepherding a church How collaborative decision making protects a leader from fear-driven choices Key Takeaways Before a group reacts to a new idea, ask what they like about it before asking what could go wrong Treat big decisions as things you can adjust later, not things that have to be perfect on day one Watch for reputation protection disguised as caution or prudence Build a culture of collaborative decision making so no single leader carries a fear-driven call alone Remind yourself that most of what you fear going wrong never actually happens Trust the room when the people in it have earned that trust over time Recognize that control, not sin, is the real opposite of faith Chapters 00:05 - Kicking off the Field Manual for Pastors series 02:18 - Introducing today's topic, fear-driven decision making 03:38 - Why comfort is the real enemy of growth 07:02 - Finding the line between fear and simple prudence 08:09 - Fear not as scripture's most repeated command 10:20 - Humility, reputation and the roots of fear-driven decisions 13:19 - What Acts 1 teaches about trusting God with a high-stakes call 15:47 - Control as the real opposite of faith 18:00 - Data, analytics and learning to trust past the numbers 21:05 - A closing word for pastors leading through fear

  8. Sep 17

    Getting Behind the What to the Why

    Every pastor has been there. You present something logical, biblical, and well prepared, and it still doesn't land. Someone gets offended, someone gets emotional, and you're left wondering what just happened. Ed Underwood joins me again for this episode of the Field Manual for Pastors, and we dig into a lesson that took him years to learn: the issue almost never is the issue. Ed walks through a season at Church of the Open Door where a simple scheduling change turned into a group of people in tears in his office, and how that experience taught him to stop arguing over the what and start asking about the why. We also flip the question around and talk about what it looks like to get behind your own why when you're the one resisting good advice. What You'll Learn Why logical, well-prepared decisions still provoke strong emotional reactions How a simple schedule or policy change can touch something much deeper in someone's life Why moving from organizational leadership into shepherding requires a different posture How an elder's identity can get tangled up in a role in ways that need to be gently untangled Why the depth of a relationship determines how much impact a hard word can have What specific questions help someone move past their story and into their heart How to recognize when this approach genuinely will not work Why protective love from a trusted friend can be painful and life-saving at the same time Key Takeaways When logic isn't landing, ask what's really going on in someone's heart instead of repeating your reasoning Bring scripture into the conversation only after you've moved into shepherding, not before Invest in a small group of people who have earned the right to speak hard truth into your life Ask "what's going on in your heart right now" instead of debating the decision itself Recognize that some people are not capable of receiving truth, no matter how it's delivered Watch for people using scripture to deflect rather than engage with what's actually wrong Build redemptive relationships long before you need them for a hard conversation Chapters 00:09 - Kicking off today's episode: getting behind the what to the why 02:05 - Why logic alone rarely resolves conflict 03:23 - A vacation Bible school decision that revealed a deeper hurt 07:36 - Helping a longtime elder find meaning outside the elder board 11:44 - Turning the question on yourself when you resist good advice 12:30 - Why the depth of a relationship determines the impact of a hard word 17:43 - Specific questions to ask when someone is upset 19:04 - When this approach doesn't work 21:32 - Closing thoughts on protective love

    Getting Behind the What to the Why
  • 8 Episodes

About

Field Manual for Pastors is a conversation between mentor to pastors Ed Underwood, founder of Recentered Group, and lay pastor Josh Gordon of TheLeadPastor.com. Ed spent forty years leading churches, soldiers, and firefighters through real crises. Each episode covers one practical piece of advice for a specific situation pastors face in ministry: a stalled decision, a difficult elder, a change that needs to happen carefully. Listen in for advice you learn in the trenches, not in seminary.

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