Myopia Movies

Nic Hoffmann
  • 4.9 (52)
  • Film Reviews
  • Updated Weekly

Welcome to season 11 of Myopia Movies! Each week we watch the movies from the 80s and 90s we grew up watching to address the lies that our memories and Blockbuster video told us. Do they hold up? https://myopiapodcast.com/

  1. Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home - Summer Reruns

    15h ago

    Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home - Summer Reruns

    This week on Myopia Movies, we boldly go… to 1986 San Francisco. Yes, this week's summer rerun is Star Trek IV, the one where the fate of the galaxy depends on two humpback whales and the crew’s ability to not completely blow their cover in the past (they fail immediately). Join us as we explore the most charmingly bizarre entry in the franchise—a sci-fi film with no real villain, a heavy dose of environmentalism, and more comedy than you’d expect from a crew that usually debates ethics at warp speed. We tackle the big questions: Is Spock relearning humanity… or just deeply confused by 20th-century profanity? How does James T. Kirk manage to save the planet while also committing multiple federal crimes? And is this the only blockbuster where the central conflict could be solved by a really well-funded aquarium? Featuring time travel hijinks, transparent aluminum, and perhaps the most wholesome mission in Star Trek history, this episode dives into why The Voyage Home feels less like a space epic and more like a cosmic field trip that somehow works perfectly. Also: we attempt to explain the plot to someone who has never seen Star Trek, which mostly results in us sounding like conspiracy theorists yelling about whales. Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list!  We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!! How will Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home hold up? Directed by: Leonard Nimoy Starring: William Shatner as Admiral James T. Kirk Leonard Nimoy as Spock DeForest Kelley as Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy James Doohan as Montgomery Scott George Takei as Hikaru Sulu Walter Koenig as Pavel Chekov Nichelle Nichols as Uhura Catherine Hicks as Dr. Gillian Taylor

    48 min
  2. Watchmen - Summer Reruns

    Jun 11

    Watchmen - Summer Reruns

    This week on Myopia Movies, we put on the mask, stare into the abyss, and then complain about the lighting. We dust off a paywall episode this week as we watch Watchmen—the most philosophical superhero movie ever made, or at least the one most likely to assign you homework afterward. Join us as we unpack a world where superheroes are less “save the day” and more “deeply complicate geopolitics.” We wrestle with questions like: Is Rorschach a moral absolutist… or just the world’s angriest inkblot? How does Dr. Manhattan make omnipotence feel like a midlife crisis? And is Ozymandias the smartest man alive—or just really good at PowerPoint presentations with catastrophic consequences? We dive into Zack Snyder’s ultra-stylized adaptation of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons’ legendary graphic novel, debating whether it captures the spirit of the original—or just lovingly recreates it in slow motion. Also: we try to determine if any superhero team has ever had worse workplace chemistry, and whether the giant blue nudist is actually the least weird part of this movie. Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list!  We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!! How will Watchmen hold up? Directed by: Zack Snyder Starring: Malin Åkerman as Laurie Jupiter / Silk Spectre II Patrick Wilson as Dan Dreiberg / Nite Owl II Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach Billy Crudup as Dr. Manhattan Matthew Goode as Adrian Veidt / Ozymandias Jeffrey Dean Morgan as Edward Blake / The Comedian Carla Gugino as Sally Jupiter / Silk Spectre

    51 min
  3. Casino Royale (Daniel Craig) - Summer Reruns

    Jun 4

    Casino Royale (Daniel Craig) - Summer Reruns

    This week on Myopia Movies, we finally gamble big on Bond—real Bond. We dust off a previously paywalled episode as we’re talking high-stakes poker, parkour chases that feel like a personal insult to your hamstrings, and a version of 007 who bleeds, broods, and looks like he might actually lose a fistfight (before winning it anyway). Join us as we break down how Casino Royale rebooted the franchise with all the subtlety of a defibrillator. We ask the important questions: Is this the most emotionally vulnerable Bond, or just the most recently traumatized? How many people need to die over a card game before someone suggests Uno instead? And does anyone in the Bond universe understand what a normal vacation looks like? Featuring one of the greatest Bond villains to ever cry blood and a love story that hits harder than Bond’s torture scene (yes, that one), this episode dives into what makes Casino Royale not just a great Bond film—but a genuinely great film, full stop. Also: we try to explain poker strategy with the confidence of men who absolutely should not be allowed near a casino. Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list!  We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!! How will Casino Royale hold up? Host: Jon Copsey Panel: Nic   Directed by: Martin Campbell Starring: Daniel Craig as James Bond Eva Green as Vesper Lynd Mads Mikkelsen as Le Chiffre Judi Dench as M Jeffrey Wright as Felix Leiter Giancarlo Giannini as René Mathis

    1h 2m
  4. AI - Artificial Intelligence

    May 28

    AI - Artificial Intelligence

    This week on Myopia Movies, we're going full existential crisis with A.I. Artificial Intelligence — the 2001 Spielberg film based on the project Stanley Kubrick spent decades developing and wisely never finished. It's got everything you'd expect from a Spielberg joint: a family torn apart by divorce energy, social dynamics that make you want to lie down, and — in what can only be described as a creative choice — aliens. In the third act. For reasons. A boy robot wants to be a real boy. His mom is not fully on board. His dad is very not on board. A sentient teddy bear named Teddy is, somehow, the most emotionally stable character in the film. Jude Law shows up as a gigolo robot, almost saves the movie, and is promptly sidelined so we can get back to the crying. The film ends. Then it ends again. Then aliens arrive. Then it ends a third time. Joining us this week is the legendary Jiggle O'Joe, who survived this film with us and only had to step outside twice. Myopia Movies — watching the movies you loved, the movies you hated, and apparently now the movies that make you question the nature of love itself. How will AI - Artificial Intelligence hold up? Directed by: Steven Spielberg (from a project developed by Stanley Kubrick) Starring: Haley Joel Osment, Jude Law, Frances O'Connor, Sam Robards, Jake Thomas, William Hurt, and the voice of Jack Angel as Teddy

    1h 40m
  5. Indian in the Cupboard

    May 21

    Indian in the Cupboard

    Welcome to another episode of Myopia Movies, where we dig through the dusty toy chest of childhood nostalgia to explain colonialism to kids and ask the important question: “Was this actually magical… or did we all just really want to own tiny murder-capable action figures?” This week, we’re cracking open The Indian in the Cupboard — the movie that convinced an entire generation that putting living beings in locked containers was somehow heartwarming family entertainment and a poster that asks, is this child going to eat a tiny man?  Will the effects hold up? Will the emotional trauma of nearly stepping on a real human being hold up? Will anyone question giving a nine-year-old absolute power over sentient life? Probably not. So grab your magic key, hide your Legos before they gain consciousness, and join us as we revisit one of the most aggressively 1990s “children learn responsibility through ethically horrifying fantasy scenarios” movies ever made. It’s The Indian in the Cupboard. Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list!  We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!! How will The Indian in the Cupboard hold up? Directed by Frank Oz Starring: Hal Scardino Litefoot Steve Coogan

    1h 18m
  6. Child's Play 3

    May 14

    Child's Play 3

    This week on Myopia Movies, we head back to military school where the uniforms are crisp, the cadets are angry, and somehow Chucky has access to live ammunition. It’s Child's Play 3 — the movie that asks, “What if summer camp, toxic masculinity, and a killer doll all collided in the least supervised environment imaginable?” Join us as we discuss the rapid-fire sequel production schedule, why every adult in this movie seems wildly unconcerned about obvious murders, and the strange energy of turning a slasher franchise into a coming-of-age military academy drama. We also dig into the evolution of Chucky as a horror icon, the accidental comedy of the paintball sequence, and whether this is secretly one of the most aggressively early-90s films ever made. Plus: weird pervert barbers, carnival death traps, overacting cadets, and the eternal question — why does nobody ever believe the kid about the murder doll? Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list!  We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!! How will Child's Play 3 hold up? Directed by Jack Bender Starring: Justin Whalin as Andy Barclay Perrey Reeves as Kristen DeSilva Jeremy Sylvers as Tyler Travis Fine as Shelton Dean Jacobson as Whitehurst Andrew Robinson as Colonel Cochrane Dakin Matthews as Sullivan Brad Dourif as the voice of Chucky

    1h 22m
  7. Mannequin

    May 7

    Mannequin

    Welcome to another episode of Myopia Movies, where we ruin your childhood one VHS tape at a time. This week, we’re stepping into the neon-lit fever dream that is Mannequin — a movie that asks the important question: “What if a department store mannequin came to life… and immediately dated Andrew McCarthy?” That’s right. It’s the ‘80s, where unemployment was quirky, retail workers had unlimited creative freedom, and absolutely nobody thought to question whether this relationship required psychiatric intervention. Featuring window displays that apparently stop traffic, villainous retail executives who behave like cartoon burglars, and enough synth music to power a mall arcade for a decade, Mannequin is pure Reagan-era fantasy. We’ll talk about Kim Cattrall somehow making “ancient Egyptian soul trapped in a mannequin” feel completely reasonable, why every department store in movies looked like Studio 54, and whether Hollywood accidentally created the world’s most charming horror premise. Plus: Hollywood Montrose steals the entire movie, James Spader continues his career-long commitment to being a smarmy weirdo, and we try to determine if this film is actually sweet… or just deeply, deeply strange. So grab your shoulder pads, crank up Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now, and join us as we ask the timeless question: does Mannequin hold up… or should it have stayed in the display window? How will Mannequin hold up? Directed by Michael Gottlieb Starring: Andrew McCarthy Kim Cattrall Meshach Taylor James Spader G. W. Bailey Estelle Getty

    59 min
  8. RoboCop (1987)

    May 1

    RoboCop (1987)

    This week, we head to the crime-ridden dystopia of Detroit where corporations rule, criminals laugh like maniacs, and the solution to urban decay is… a heavily armed cyborg cop with excellent posture. Join Nic, Matthew, Keiko, Nur, and Alex as they revisit RoboCop (1987), Paul Verhoeven’s ultraviolent, razor-sharp satire that somehow convinced an entire generation of kids that this was appropriate viewing. We’re asking the important questions: Is this actually one of the smartest sci-fi films ever made… or just an excuse for explosive squibs and corporate slimeballs? Why did we all think ED-209 was just a normal workplace hazard? Does RoboCop count as a superhero, a horror monster, or the world’s saddest HR case study? And how did this movie spawn toys, cartoons, and birthday parties? Along the way, we break down the film’s biting commentary on privatization, media culture, and late-stage capitalism—while also appreciating just how completely unhinged it gets. It’s part Blade Runner, part Die Hard, and part “what if the evening news was written by lunatics?” Does RoboCop (1987) hold up as a masterpiece of satire, or were our childhood brains just too distracted by explosions to notice the deeper themes? Dead or alive, you’re listening to this episode. Want to pick a movie we do an episode on and record a special commentary just for you? Purchase something from our wish list!  We are riffers on Cineprov! Check us out!! How will RoboCop (1987) hold up? Host: Nic Panel: Alex, Nur, Keiko   Directed by: Paul Verhoeven Starring: Peter Weller, Nancy Allen, Ronny Cox, Kurtwood Smith, Miguel Ferrer, Dan O'Herlihy

    1h 3m
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About

Welcome to season 11 of Myopia Movies! Each week we watch the movies from the 80s and 90s we grew up watching to address the lies that our memories and Blockbuster video told us. Do they hold up? https://myopiapodcast.com/

Information

  • Creator
    Nic Hoffmann
  • Years Active
    2014 - 2026
  • Episodes
    465
  • Rating
    Explicit
  • Copyright
    © Copyright 2024. Dudeletter Inc. All rights reserved.
  • Show Website
    Myopia Movies