I'm probably going to hell for this!

Little Scotty
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The Absurd Laws of Ancient Texts  Welcome to the podcast that dares to ask: "Who wrote these rules, and were they having a laugh?" Join us as we dive headfirst into the most bizarre, outdated, and downright ridiculous laws from religious texts that somehow made it into the "divine guidebook." Ever wondered why mixing fabrics is apparently a cosmic crime? Curious about the death penalty for wearing polyester-cotton blends? We've got you covered! From the Old Testament's oddly specific rules about haircuts and shellfish to papal decrees that banned everything from chess to showering, we're serving up religious absurdity with a side of serious side-eye. Each episode, we'll explore gems like:  Why God apparently has strong opinions about your shrimp cocktailThe Vatican's historic ban on forks (yes, forks)Biblical fashion police: Why your mixed-fiber jeans are sending you straight to hellPope Gregory IX's crusade against cats (spoiler: it didn't end well)The cosmic importance of not boiling a goat in its mother's milkWhy medieval popes thought bathing was basically devil worshipWhether it's ancient Israelites getting worked up about beard trimming or medieval popes declaring war on musical instruments, we're here to laugh at humanity's most creative attempts to control behavior through divine bureaucracy. Warning: This podcast contains excessive eye-rolling, uncontrollable laughter, and may cause you to question why anyone thought these rules were a good idea. Side effects may include existential crisis and an overwhelming urge to eat bacon cheeseburgers while wearing a polyester shirt. 

Episodes

  1. 3D AGO

    I'm Probably Going to Hell for This! Episode 8 (Continued from episode 7)

    Ever wondered why the Bible says not to wear clothes made of mixed fabrics, or what Jesus meant when He said, “Let the dead bury their own dead”? Holy Law & Disorder dives headfirst into the wild, weird, and often bewildering laws and sayings found in the Old and New Testaments. From Levitical rules about moldy houses and dietary restrictions to Jesus’ cryptic parables and paradoxical teachings, this podcast unpacks the cultural, historical, and theological context behind the Bible’s most head-scratching moments. Each episode blends humor, scholarship, and curiosity as we explore: • 🐐 Why ancient Israelites couldn’t boil a goat in its mother’s milk • 👕 The spiritual logic behind fabric purity laws • 🧼 What to do when your house gets mildew (according to Leviticus) • 🕊️ Jesus’ puzzling phrases like “Be wise as serpents and innocent as doves” • 💬 The deeper meaning behind “If your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out” Whether you're a believer, skeptic, or just a fan of biblical oddities, Holy Law & Disorder will challenge your assumptions, make you laugh, and maybe even help you see scripture in a whole new light. Ready to decode divine mystery with a dash of irreverence? Hit play and let’s get weird. Support the show

    27 min

  2. SEP 23

    I'm probably going to hell for this! 101 absurd bible laws and events

    Podcast Title: 101 Absurd Laws in the Bible Description: Step into the strange, fascinating, and often hilarious world of ancient rules with 101 Absurd Laws in the Bible. This podcast uncovers the quirky, head-scratching, and sometimes downright bizarre laws found in scripture—rules that once guided communities thousands of years ago but now sound surreal in today’s world. From regulations about fabrics you can’t wear together, to punishments for cutting your hair the wrong way, to dietary restrictions that leave bacon lovers weeping, we’ll break down each law with humor, historical context, and critical insight. But this isn’t just about poking fun—each episode also explores the cultural backdrop of these rules: Why were they written? What problems were they trying to solve? And what do they reveal about ancient life, power, and human attempts to make sense of the world? Whether it’s laws about farming, food, fashion, family, or what to do if your ox gores your neighbor (yes, that’s in there), we’ll take a lighthearted yet thoughtful look at how these peculiar codes shaped early societies and how they’ve echoed through history. Perfect for skeptics, believers, history buffs, or anyone who loves finding the absurdity in the everyday, 101 Absurd Laws in the Bible is part comedy, part scholarship, and fully entertaining. By the end, you’ll laugh, you’ll learn, and you’ll never look at a mixed-fiber sweater the same way again. Support the show

    31 min

  3. SEP 5

    I'm Probably Going to Hell for This! Episode 7

    Podcast Description: Are our lives a product of chance, or is a divine plan at work? And how do we reconcile the two? In The Late Bloomers, we explore the mysterious interplay between fate and God's hand in our most profound life choices. Join us as we dive into the stories of people who, through decades of life experience, finally found their calling to parenthood later than expected. Was it circumstance, career ambition, or a fear of aging that delayed their journey? Or was a higher purpose guiding their every step, preparing them for a uniquely fulfilling and intentional path? Each episode, we speak with those who chose to have children in their 40s and beyond, unpacking the joys, challenges, and wisdom that come with a less-traditional timeline. We'll discuss: Navigating the emotional, physical, and societal pressures of older parenting.Understanding how a lifetime of lessons can shape and enrich the parenting experience.Reclaiming your identity and purpose in a new phase of life.Examining the moments of surrender, gratitude, and unexpected blessings that reveal the divine hand in our personal timelines.The Late Bloomers is for anyone who has ever wrestled with the notion of "right timing" and wondered if their personal journey is on track. It's a conversation about trusting the unseen plan, embracing the adventure, and finding that it's never too late to begin your most sacred role. Support the show

    30 min

  4. AUG 7

    Episode 6 I'm Probably Going to Hell For This! By Little Scotty

    Why does the Bible forbid mixing fabrics? Why were shellfish off-limits? And what do these unusual laws say about God's relationship with humanity? In this eye-opening episode, we dive deep into some of the most perplexing and seemingly strange laws found in the Bible—commands that range from dietary restrictions to ritual purity, and everything in between. We explore what these laws meant in their ancient context, and whether they were moral guidelines, symbolic boundaries, or divine tests of obedience. Then, we turn to one of the most dramatic stories in Scripture: the tale of Noah and the flood. According to the Bible, God looked upon the earth and saw that it was filled with violence and corruption. Humanity had strayed far from His ways, and the flood was a divine reset—an act of judgment and mercy all at once. But why destroy nearly everything? What made Noah "righteous in his generation"? And what does this story reveal about God's justice and expectations? Join us as we unravel the mysteries of divine law, examine the reasons behind God’s flood decision, and ask: what does it mean to live in line with a divine will that sometimes defies human logic? Support the show

    28 min

  5. AUG 1

    What about the Protestant religion

    "Faith & Reform" is a podcast exploring the rich history, beliefs, and practices of Protestant Christianity. Each episode dives into the roots of the Reformation, the diverse denominations within Protestantism, and the ongoing impact of Protestant thought in modern society. Whether you're curious about the theological foundations or the cultural influence of Protestantism, this podcast offers insightful discussions for both newcomers and lifelong learners alike.  Support the show

    29 min

  6. JUL 17

    Back to the original question and some more facts

    In this episode, we explore the fascinating history and modern transformation of the Bible—one of the most widely read texts in human history. From its ancient origins to today's accessible versions, we unpack how translators and scholars have worked across centuries to make scripture clearer for everyone, regardless of age, background, or faith tradition. 📜 The Timelines: Old Testament: Written over a span of roughly 1,000 years, starting as early as the 12th century BCE and continuing through the 2nd century BCE.New Testament: Composed between approximately 50 CE and 100 CE, during the formative years of early Christianity.🌍 A Global Linguistic Journey: The Bible has been translated from its original languages—Hebrew, Aramaic, and Koine Greek—into over 3,600 languages, making it the most translated book in history.The journey to English began with early versions like Wycliffe’s Bible (translated from the Latin Vulgate in the 14th century) and evolved through monumental milestones like the King James Version in 1611, up to today’s accessible formats like the New International Version and The Message.✒️ Who Really Wrote the Bible? Old Testament: A collection of texts written by various authors, including prophets, priests, scribes, and historians. It reflects centuries of oral tradition and compiled writings. Key contributors include Moses (traditionally credited with the Torah), David (many Psalms), and major prophets like Isaiah and Jeremiah.New Testament: Primarily authored by early followers of Jesus. Paul the Apostle wrote many of the epistles (letters), while the four gospels were attributed to Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John—each offering a unique perspective on Jesus’ life and teachings.🧠 In today’s discussion, we also examine the motivations behind modern translations, how theology meets readability, and what updating sacred texts means for believers and scholars alike. Whether you're a curious learner or a devoted reader of scripture, this episode will shed light on how accessibility shapes our understanding of faith. Subscribe now and let’s dig into the layers of language, legacy, and love that fuel the Bible’s evolution.  Support the show

    28 min

  7. JUL 10

    I'm Probably Going to Hell For This! By Little Scotty Episode #3

    Fun with the popes. Some of the most colorful popes in history and their crimes and other sins. Including one pope who dug up the previous popes after he had been dead for some time to put him on trial for his crimes, according to the new pope. Many others have the same interesting past. Also, raising your kids in a religious world. Whether it's worth exposing them now as children to religion, or to let them make their own decision later on when they are adult.  Plenty of mistakes to listen for, too. Still trying to figure all this out. Don't let it keep you from the interesting topic. Support the show

    30 min

  8. JUL 2

    I'm Probably Going to Hell For This! Show #2 By Little Scotty

    The martyrdoms of the Apostles are a powerful part of Christian tradition, showing how the earliest followers of Jesus died for their faith. Below is a detailed breakdown of how each apostle was martyred, according to tradition, apocryphal writings, and early Church historians. 🔥 Martyrdoms of the Apostles (One by One) 1. Peter (Simon Peter) Method: Crucified upside down.Where: Rome.When: ~64–68 AD, during Nero’s persecution.Details: Peter felt unworthy to die like Jesus, so he requested to be crucified upside down.2. James the Greater (son of Zebedee) Method: Beheaded.Where: Jerusalem.When: ~44 AD.Details: The only apostle whose martyrdom is recorded in the Bible (Acts 12:2). Executed by order of King Herod Agrippa I.3. Andrew (Peter’s brother) Method: Crucified on an X-shaped cross (now called St. Andrew’s Cross).Where: Patras, Greece.Details: Tied (not nailed) to prolong suffering; he preached from the cross for two days before dying.4. Thomas (Didymus) Method: Speared to death.Where: Mylapore, India (present-day Chennai).When: ~72 AD.Details: Killed by angry Hindu priests or soldiers while preaching in India.5. Philip Method: Crucified or hung upside down (some say stoned).Where: Hierapolis, in Phrygia (modern Turkey).Details: Preached to the wife of a Roman official, which led to his arrest and martyrdom.6. Bartholomew (possibly Nathanael) Method: Flayed alive and then beheaded.Where: Armenia (or possibly India).Details: Preached in foreign lands; tortured brutally. Depictions often show him holding his own skin.7. Matthew (the tax collector) Method: Stabbed to death with a spear or sword.Where: Ethiopia or Persia.Details: Multiple traditions conflict, but most agree he was killed while celebrating Mass.8. James the Less (son of Alphaeus) Method: Thrown from the Temple, then clubbed to death.Where: Jerusalem.Details: According to Hegesippus, he was pushed off the pinnacle of the Temple (like in Jesus’ temptation story), survived the fall, then beaten with a fuller's club.9. Thaddeus (Jude, son of James) Method: Beaten to death with a club, or killed with arrows.Where: Persia (modern-day Iran).Details: Tradition says he was killed alongside Simon the Zealot.10. Simon the Zealot Method: Sawn in half or crucified.Where: Persia (modern-day Iran).Details: Often associated with Jude Thaddeus in missionary work and death.11. Matthias (Judas’ replacement) Method: Stoned and then beheaded.Where: Jerusalem or possibly Ethiopia.Details: Tradition says he was stoned by Jews and then decapitated as a final blow.12. Paul (often called an apostle) Method: Beheaded.Where: Rome.When: ~64–67 AD.Details: As a Roman citizen, he was beheaded instead of crucified. Died during Nero's persecution.13. John (son of Zebedee) Method: Not martyred — died of natural causes.Support the show

    25 min

  9. JUN 24

    I'm Probably Going to Hell For This! By Little Scotty

    The Absurd Laws of Ancient Texts   Welcome to the podcast that dares to ask: "Who wrote these rules, and were they having a laugh?" Join us as we dive headfirst into the most bizarre, outdated, and downright ridiculous laws from religious texts that somehow made it into the "divine guidebook."   Ever wondered why mixing fabrics is apparently a cosmic crime? Curious about the death penalty for wearing polyester-cotton blends? We've got you covered! From the Old Testament's oddly specific rules about haircuts and shellfish to papal decrees that banned everything from chess to showering, we're serving up religious absurdity with a side of serious side-eye.   Each episode, we'll explore gems like:   Why God apparently has strong opinions about your shrimp cocktailThe Vatican's historic ban on forks (yes, forks)Biblical fashion police: Why your mixed-fiber jeans are sending you straight to hellPope Gregory IX's crusade against cats (spoiler: it didn't end well)The cosmic importance of not boiling a goat in its mother's milkWhy medieval popes thought bathing was basically devil worship Whether it's ancient Israelites getting worked up about beard trimming or medieval popes declaring war on musical instruments, we're here to laugh at humanity's most creative attempts to control behavior through divine bureaucracy.   Warning: This podcast contains excessive eye-rolling, uncontrollable laughter, and may cause you to question why anyone thought these rules were a good idea. Side effects may include existential crisis and an overwhelming urge to eat bacon cheeseburgers while wearing a polyester shirt.   Support the show

    32 min
  • 9 Episodes

About

The Absurd Laws of Ancient Texts  Welcome to the podcast that dares to ask: "Who wrote these rules, and were they having a laugh?" Join us as we dive headfirst into the most bizarre, outdated, and downright ridiculous laws from religious texts that somehow made it into the "divine guidebook." Ever wondered why mixing fabrics is apparently a cosmic crime? Curious about the death penalty for wearing polyester-cotton blends? We've got you covered! From the Old Testament's oddly specific rules about haircuts and shellfish to papal decrees that banned everything from chess to showering, we're serving up religious absurdity with a side of serious side-eye. Each episode, we'll explore gems like:  Why God apparently has strong opinions about your shrimp cocktailThe Vatican's historic ban on forks (yes, forks)Biblical fashion police: Why your mixed-fiber jeans are sending you straight to hellPope Gregory IX's crusade against cats (spoiler: it didn't end well)The cosmic importance of not boiling a goat in its mother's milkWhy medieval popes thought bathing was basically devil worshipWhether it's ancient Israelites getting worked up about beard trimming or medieval popes declaring war on musical instruments, we're here to laugh at humanity's most creative attempts to control behavior through divine bureaucracy. Warning: This podcast contains excessive eye-rolling, uncontrollable laughter, and may cause you to question why anyone thought these rules were a good idea. Side effects may include existential crisis and an overwhelming urge to eat bacon cheeseburgers while wearing a polyester shirt. 

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